Logan jumps Rachel’s ship for Gabby’s on The Bachelorette

Belgium was the perfect place to set Monday’s episode of “The Bachelorette” considering the main plot line was about a dude waffling.

Logan Palmer finally fessed up that he wanted to switch from Team Rachel to Team Gabby and the duplicitous bastard got away with it.

At the start of the episode, Logan decided that he couldn’t in good conscience go on a group date with Rachel given his feelings for Gabby, which is how he found himself at the door of her suite aboard the Unloved Boat just before said date — although his conscience had been cool with him accepting a rose from Rachel in last week’s episode.

The worst part is that Gabby not only invited him onto her team — after getting Rachel’s blessing — she gave him a rose at the end of the episode.

But let’s rewind a little bit on l’affaire Logan.

You might recall that in Week 2, Logan kissed both Gabby and Rachel and, though they were both into him, Gabby stepped back and let Rachel give him a rose.

Logan accepted another rose from Rachel in Week 3 but then, in Week 4, just seeing Gabby again was allegedly enough to give him doubts about Rachel. But oh gee, the cocktail party got cancelled before that rose ceremony, conveniently preventing him from telling Rachel how he felt before the roses got handed out.

So here they all were, on their humongous Virgin Voyages cruise ship, and Rachel was excited about tasting real Belgian chocolate and putting the rejection of the previous week behind her. As if.

Cue Logan knocking on her door to tell her — after blowing a sufficient amount of smoke up her ass about how great she was — that he still had feelings for Gabby.

There were more tears (not in front of Logan thankfully), more lamentation about how she was a failure as a Bachelorette and, poof, no more group date. Instead Rachel sulked in her room in a robe while getting a pep talk from host Jesse Palmer, who then had to break the news to Zach, Tino, Meatball, Ethan and Tyler that Rachel wasn’t coming out to play in Bruges that day.

They may have dodged a messy bullet since I’m pretty sure they were meant to wrestle each other in a giant vat of chocolate, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t bummed.

And I am also disappointed that Rachel didn’t put her big girl panties on, say “Fuck Logan,” and go spend some time with guys like Zach, Tino and Tyler, who have very much not been rejecting her.

In the meantime, Logan had slimed his way over to Gabby’s suite to tell her he still had a boner, er, I mean feelings for her. Gabby told him she couldn’t make a decision until she’d talked with Rachel, which she did, in the loving, supportive way that we’re used to. And Rachel said she was cool with Gabby pursuing Logan if that’s what she wanted but also, after Gabby had left, “I just don’t think Logan is trustworthy. He strung me along for weeks.” Exactly!

And this is what makes Gabby’s decision to keep Logan so annoying. Quite apart from taking up with the guy who just disrespected your best friend (see also, Rachel and Hayden), why would you trust a dude who was that wishy-washy?

Could Gabby actually like or, at least, lust after Logan; or she is just doing the producers’ bidding in the time-honoured tradition of Bachelorettes before her?

Door No. 2 seems more plausible. At the rose ceremony she kept Jason, Spencer and Erich (along with Johnny and Nate, who already had roses) and let Michael and Mario, her first impression rose winner, go home. But if she had already decided that Michael and Mario had no chance of making it to the end, it would be no skin off her teeth to keep Logan at the producers’ behest instead of one of them.

The drama potential is obviously high: not only is Logan’s presence stirring up resentment in Gabby’s men, it will be a constant reminder to Rachel of rejection. Gotta keep stoking those insecurities.

Rachel, meanwhile, did make it to the after-party portion of the group date, where she told her fellows about Logan and offered them the chance to walk out if they also weren’t feeling her.

None of them did, obviously. I got a particular kick out of Meatball, who’d declined a rose from Rachel just a couple of weeks before and been allowed back in to even up the team numbers, saying he was “100 per cent invested in this relationship.”

After doing some heavy duty smooching with favourites Tino, Tyler and Zach, and having her confidence restored — duh — Rachel gave the date rose to Tino, who told her off a little for the “amazing memory” they lost when she chose to brood over Logan instead of explore Bruges with the other men.

Onwards! Gabby had a group date to be getting on with and it was drama-free unless you count Erich, Michael, Jason, Nate, Spencer and Mario getting their asses kicked by a bunch of little kids playing soccer. Not even the part where they slapped each other in the face with cold fish could ruin the collegial mood.

“It’s just refreshing to not have to worry about drama,” Nate said. Dunh dunh dunh dunh.

The men had barely settled into their seats at the after-party, with more commentary by Nate about how respectful the group was of each other, when Logan crashed it. Surprise!

The other men were shook, naturally, but put on their game faces with Gabby. Nate even told her she had his support to explore her relationship with Logan.

What almost made me gag was Gabby telling Logan, “The premise of everything is to listen to your heart and try to find a way to do it with integrity, which you did.” Uh, no, he did not. And then she smooched him.

It would have been even grosser if she had given Logan the date rose, but thankfully it went to Nate.

There were also one-on-one dates to be getting on with.

Rachel and Aven seemed to do more kissing than sightseeing in Bruges, ate some chocolate, natch, and came upon some strategically planted women making lace, who just happened to have a veil handy for Rachel to try on.

Blah blah blah, I could see a wedding in our future, blah blah blah.

Later, Aven sang for his supper by telling Rachel how he was forced to live with his dad when he was 10 and didn’t have much of a relationship with his mom until he was older. And she had made him some rubber bracelet good energy thingy that he turned over to Rachel to help smooth her rocky path as Bachelorette.

Then came smooches, a date rose, fireworks. Add Aven to the hometown date list.

Gabby’s one-on-one was with Johnny and it was kind of cool because, honestly, this guy was a cipher until we saw him having fun with Gabby at the Half Moon brewery, including taking a beer bath.

Later, Johnny told Gabby about getting his heart broken by a woman who disappeared on him as soon as he started being himself, how he lacked confidence generally and struggled with depression. And Gabby, who knows from depression and anxiety, could relate.

Perhaps Jason could share the name of his therapist although, in all seriousness, his confession made me root for Johnny. He got the date rose, obviously.

Going into the rose ceremony, the only question was whether Gabby would keep Logan and we know how that turned out.

At least the cocktail party didn’t get cancelled this week. But it was a bad night for guys whose names, or nicknames, started with M, with Meatball getting the boot from Team Rachel alongside Michael and Mario on Team Gabby.

Next stop, Amsterdam. We don’t know precisely what will happen next week since the promo was for the rest of the season, but was anybody shocked to see Jesse telling Gabby “There has been a situation with Logan”? Did he find a third woman to switch his allegiance to?

If you’re still hanging in, you can watch next week’s episode, when the hometown date recipients will be chosen, Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, catch me on Twitter or chat on my Facebook page.