Because I love television. How about you?

Month: September 2021

One couple finds heartbreak at the Bachelor in Paradise prom

The remaining cast of “Bachelor in Paradise” cut loose at a 1980s-style prom.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

“Bachelor in Paradise” got nostalgic on Tuesday, sending the remaining cast members to a 1980s-themed prom. And if you think about it, some of the plot developments in the penultimate episode of the season would have been at home in an ’80s movie.

A villain got caught in a lie and got his comeuppance; a new girl got shunned but then got a date after all; a popular couple got named prom king and queen. But if it was a real ’80s movie, Noah and Abigail would have settled their differences and we would have left them kissing while a synthesizer-heavy song played over the end credits.

Instead, the Day 1 couple appeared to have broken up, one of the more surprising twists in an episode filled with them — they even got voted couple most likely to live happily ever after at the prom, for crying out loud.

But Noah told Abigail he didn’t think she was his person and we left her crying in a bathroom. We’ll get back to them later.

First things first, we had the unfinished business from last week of Ivan and Aaron feuding over Chelsea. To refresh your memory, Aaron was coupled up with Chelsea, but then she and Ivan started flirting and kissing right in front of Aaron. So Aaron got in Ivan’s face to the point we were supposed to believe it might get physical (it didn’t).

To Aaron, it was a clear case of Ivan making a desperate, last ditch attempt to get a rose, but the rest of the beach seemed to side with Ivan, especially after he claimed Chelsea was the one who asked him to talk. Except it was a lie.

Ivan got caught in the lie, both by Chelsea denying it and, for those of us watching at home, by footage of him asking Chelsea to chat. And that’s not all.

Turns out Ivan only wanted Chelsea’s rose so he could hang around and wait for Alexa from Peter Weber’s season to arrive (no, I don’t remember her either).

I assume a lot of people thought Ivan and Chelsea had already hooked up after last week’s teaser that something had happened in the hotel where the cast waited out the tropical storm. Instead, Ivan spent several hours with Alexa, who was at the hotel waiting to join the cast, after seeing her room number on a producer’s phone screen.

Clearly Ivan was set up. In what universe does a producer just happen to leave their phone in a cast member’s room with classified information right there on the screen? I don’t think any of the contestants so much as fart without the producers knowing about it.

Ivan Hall comes clean to other cast members with Wells Adams looking on.

But Ivan — coincidentally, the second man from the Clayshia “Bachelorette” season to go from fan favourite to villain after Brendan Morais — had dug his own hole by lying and verbally attacking Aaron so his only choice was to send himself home. First he got a talking to from Riley, though, who had staunchly defended Ivan against Aaron. “We’re supposed to be better than that, man. We’re better men,” Riley told him. Well, maybe you are.

With Ivan gone, eight women handed out roses with utterly predictable results. If you hadn’t figured out that Natasha was going to choose Ed over Brendan defender Dr. Joe, and that Tia was picking James over Blake — her dancing vagina notwithstanding — you weren’t paying attention.

Dr. Joe and Blake departed, along with Demar.

But with the balance of power shifting back to the men, new women were bound to arrive — although it always seems a bit sadistic to bring new cast members in just before the end when everybody’s already coupled up.

And, indeed, Anna Redman, one of the villains from Matt James’ “Bachelor” season who arrived with date card in hand, was shut down by Kenny and Thomas, who were sticking with Mari and Becca. But she lucked out with James Bonsall and can you blame him? Tia had given him a rose but only after her dalliance with Blake, so they weren’t exactly a sure thing.

Anna and James on their date when they weren’t being turned into human pastries.

As it turned out, Anna and James bonded after yet another weird date — I mean, who put the person with the food fetish in charge of all the dates this season?

First, they turned themselves into human churros, i.e. Mexican doughnuts, by rolling in sugar and drizzling chocolate on each other. Then, after rinsing off, they got his and hers massages with really big snakes on each of their backs. Like, WTAF?

It was nothing a few flutes of champagne and a makeout session in a hot tub couldn’t make better.

Then it was Mykenna Dorn’s turn to taste rejection. The Canadian fashion blogger from Peter’s season, whom we saw at the Paradise VIP party a few episodes ago, also zeroed in on men who were already taken, including Thomas and Riley. But it seemed like she might have a shot with Aaron, who wasn’t exactly acting like he was committed to Chelsea — except Aaron turned down Mykenna’s invitation.

Mykenna cried — and cried and cried — while the other cast members stood around and watched her from a distance. And then they all gawked some more when Ed rode (well, walked really) to the rescue and asked Mykenna to take him on the date. Mykenna very nearly rejected him but finally relented after Ed assured her they’d have fun even if they hated each other.

Mykenna’s tears had dried after she and Ed had their disco date.

By the time they rollerbladed their way to dinner in a disco ball-festooned room, Mykenna had developed a new appreciation for Ed’s “dreamy eyes” and also his lips.

But the downside to Ed’s chivalry was that Natasha found herself odd woman out — again. First Brendan strung her along waiting for Pieper to arrive, then Dr. Joe froze her out in loyalty to Brendan and now Ed appeared to be dumping her for Mykenna. Is it any wonder she stayed in bed “sick” while everybody else put on gaudy clothes and went off to the prom?

But before that happened, there was some trouble in Paradise, pun intended, for two of the established couples.

Kenny told Mari after the rose ceremony he had doubts about their long-term prospects, not to mention their passion — sour cream sucking be damned — because he felt she wasn’t as sure about him as he was about her.

The solution turned out to be a visit to the beach from a bruja, or witch, who had Mari and Kenny waft smoke on each other, stare deeply into a mirror and rub candles on each other’s bodies and — presto chango! — they were back to smooching happily on a beach bed.

And then there were Noah and Abigail. Abigail had confessed to Wells, doing double host and bartending duty, that she wasn’t as secure with Noah as everybody thought because she wasn’t sure how he felt about her. But when Noah told Abigail he was falling in love with her, she didn’t say it back.

But never mind the foreboding for a minute because prom!

I have to say that the “promposals” between Serena and Joe, and Becca and Thomas, and Maurissa and Riley, and Mari and Kenny were terribly sweet — yes, even Kenny holding a sign in front of his unmentionables.

There were racks of clothes and accessories for everyone to choose from — although according to Aaron, who said he’d never “been to the ’80s,” “based on the wardrobe selects I’m inclined to think everyone was a professional clown.”

Nonetheless, the cast took their ruffled and bowed and brightly coloured selves to a ballroom where a band was playing “Super Freak” and Wells was spiking the punch. There was even a guy sneaking out on the girl he’d come with to make out with another girl.

That would be Aaron, who grabbed Tia — the only woman there without a date — took her outside, put a corsage on her wrist and a serious smooching on her lips, all without bothering to say anything to Chelsea. As she eloquently put it, “As far as I’m concerned, he can kick rocks barefoot.”

Wells names Joe Amabile and Serena Pitt king and queen of the prom.

Wells gave out awards — Biggest Flirt to Kenny, Best Kisser of Toes to Maurissa — and named Joe and Serena prom king and queen. Besides the fact they are adorable together, they were the only couple Tuesday who acknowledged having had serious conversations about their post-Paradise future.

Maybe they should have been named couple most like to live happily ever after instead of Noah and Abigail.

Abigail said she was ready to tell Noah she was falling in love with him too, but before she got the chance Noah told her that despite his strong feelings for her, he wasn’t sure she was the perfect woman for him. He had a gut feeling, he said, that he’d been trying to ignore but that he was afraid wasn’t going to go away.

Noah and Abigail at the prom before Noah dropped his truth bomb.

Abigail said she felt blindsided and lied to, and escaped to the ladies room for a cry.

And that’s where we left things until next week’s season finale — which is another three hours, so brace yourselves.

The worst part is that the promo showed Joe’s ex Kendall coming back and I’m guessing she won’t be there to help Joe pick out an engagement ring for Serena, if he’s planning to go that route.

I mean what part of “Joe’s done with Kendall” do she and the producers not understand? Get lost Kendall. Go home and stuff some dead mice.

Whatever happens, you can watch it Tuesday at 8 p.m. on  Citytv.com. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Watchable Sept. 27-Oct. 3, 2021

SHOW OF THE WEEK: Maid (Netflix, Oct. 1)

Margaret Qualley as Alex and Rylea Nevaeh Whittet as Maddy in “Maid.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Ricardo Hubbs/Netflix

In a year of TV that has had its share of shows about rich people, “Maid” takes us to the opposite end of the scale.

Alex (Margaret Qualley), the maid of the title, is very far from rich. When she flees her abusive boyfriend with their daughter in the middle of the night, she has nothing to her name but her car, a couple of bags of possessions and $18.

She doesn’t want to go to a domestic violence shelter because boyfriend Sean (Nick Robinson) didn’t punch her, just the wall. But she can’t get access to subsidized housing or daycare without a job, and she can’t go to her interview for a $12-an-hour housekeeping job with her daughter in tow. Her only child care options are her mentally ill mother (played by Qualley’s real mother, Andie MacDowell) and her estranged father, who’s moved on with his new family.

Whatever kindnesses are shown to help Alex start to scramble out of the hole are countered by new setbacks — a car accident, a custody suit by Sean, finding an apartment only to be chased out by mould — and there are unkindnesses, like the disdain of the grocery clerk and other customers over Alex using food stamps, or the rich client (Anika Noni Rose) who won’t pay Alex because she didn’t scrub the lawn furniture to her liking.

Alex perseveres, doing what she must to provide for daughter Maddy and learning to value herself along the way.

The show can be bleak, especially in the first episode, but it’s based on the real life of Stephanie Land, author of the memoir “Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay and a Mother’s Will to Survive.” I have no doubt there are thousands and thousands of Alexes out there — and I imagine life would be even tougher for destitute single mothers who aren’t attractive, young white women.

At the very least, “Maid” makes you think: about poverty, about domestic violence, about how the situation you’re born into can determine your path in life. And because it treats its characters like people and not caricatures, “Maid” also entertains without feeling didactic.

Netflix also has one of the buzziest shows of the week, the doc “Britney Vs Spears” (Sept. 28), about Spears’ fight to end her conservatorship, which I was not able to review; “Attack of the Hollywood Cliches,” in which Rob Lowe leads a tour of common movie tropes, debuting Sept. 28, plus all episodes of “Seinfeld” starting on Oct. 1.

Short Takes

William Randolph Hearst, centre, with party attendees, from left, Douglas Fairbanks, Mary Pickford, Charlie Chaplin and Princess Bibesco. PHOTO CREDIT: Marc Wanamaker/Bison Archives

Citizen Hearst (Sept. 27, 9 p.m., PBS)

The name William Randolph Hearst probably doesn’t mean much to you unless you’ve visited his “castle” in San Simeon, Calif., or you’re a fan of movies like “Citizen Kane” and “Mank,” the recent Oscar nominee about the making of “Citizen Kane.” But this “American Experience” docuseries is a reminder that he was once one of the richest, most powerful men in America and a fascinating bundle of contradictions: a media mogul who built his empire appealing to the working classes but who vehemently opposed political policies that would benefit ordinary working people; a millionaire who turned his nose up at high society; a crusader who fought corporate and political corruption but who also used his newspapers for repulsive causes, including promoting hatred against Asian Americans. Then there was his fascinating private life: the estate he virtually willed into being on a hilltop on the California coast; his unquenchable appetite for collecting art and antiques and other treasures; his decades-long affair with actress Marion Davies, the lady of Hearst Castle while wife Millicent remained in New York. Ambitious, hedonistic, arrogant, domineering but also a visionary in his younger days, Hearst is deserving of the description “larger than life.” “Citizen Hearst” covers it all in its two parts in more detail than I can do justice to here, and is also a captivating look back at the golden age of newspapers.

PBS also has one of my favourites, the period weepie “Call the Midwife,” debuting its 10th season Oct. 3 at 8 p.m., while detective drama “Grantchester” begins its sixth season the same night at 9 p.m.

La Brea (Sept. 28, 10 p.m., CTV)

From left, Chiké Okonkwo, Natalie Zea and Jon Seda in “La Brea.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Sarah Enticknap/NBC

If CGI disaster footage make your heart beat faster you’ll enjoy at least the opening minutes of “La Brea,” in which a giant sinkhole opens in a Los Angeles street, swallowing vehicles, people and buildings at a breakneck pace — although the sinkhole conveniently pauses long enough for mom Eve (Natalie Zea) to say goodbye to her teenage daughter Izzy (Zyra Gorecki) as Eve clings to the edge of the pavement before dropping into the void. Teenage son Josh (Jack Harris) has also been swallowed up and Izzy reunites with estranged dad Gavin (Eoin Macken), an ex-air force pilot who’s been seeing things since a crash in the desert three years before — a skill that comes in handy when he has visions that indicate his wife and son and all the other disappeared Angelenos are alive in some sort of alternate Los Angeles. And they are indeed alive, or at least some of them are, as are some dangerous prehistoric animals. It feels a bit like “Lost” crossed with “Jurassic Park,” minus the dinosaurs — although I’ve only seen one episode so who knows? Maybe the dinosaurs will show up. Oh and there are shady government operatives who are trying to keep the truth from Gavin and the rest of the world. Of course there are. With its cheesy dialogue, stock character types and hackneyed disaster tropes, “La Brea” feels like a sinkhole for TV show ideas.

CTV also has the third season of its Canadian original sitcom “Jann”, starring Jann Arden, debuting Sept. 27 at 8 p.m.

Inside the Toronto Maple Leafs locker room during the most recent NHL season in “All or Nothing.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy Amazon Prime Video

All or Nothing: Toronto Maple Leafs (Oct. 1, Amazon Prime Video)

I haven’t voluntarily watched a hockey game in at least a decade, but even I found this docuseries look at the Toronto Maple Leafs interesting — enough to binge two of the five episodes before I ran out of time. It also felt a bit like my duty as a Torontonian to watch it. If you live in Toronto you can’t escape knowing about the fortunes of the Leafs, who have possibly the most long-suffering and loyal fans in the NHL. The series is a behind-the-scenes look at the team during the 2020-21 season and I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say it ended disastrously, with the Leafs getting bounced out of the first round of the playoffs by their arch-rivals the Montreal Canadiens despite the Leafs being at the top of the North Division. What I found particularly interesting was that the series makes it clear that loss wasn’t a fluke or a turn of bad luck, but the culmination of issues that coach Sheldon Keefe had identified early in the season. The big question, of course, is whether those issues can be fixed this season or whether Leafs fans will once again be disappointed in their longing for the team to end a 54-year Stanley Cup drought.

Odds and Ends

I think it’s fair to say there can be no reconciliation without truth and the commercial-free broadcast “National Day for Truth and Reconciliation” (Sept. 30, 8 p.m., CBC, CBC Gem) aims to tell some of that by sharing the stories of Indigenous people affected by Canada’s residential school system, as well as music and ceremonies from across the country. It’s hosted by Inuk singer, songwriter, broadcaster and activist Elisapie.

If you’re a British detective drama fan, the venerable “Midsomer Murders” has the second half of its 22nd season debuting Sept. 27 on AcornTV.

NOTE: The listings here are in Eastern Standard Time, and reflect information provided to me and cross-checked where possible, but it’s always best to check listings for your own area. The selection of programs reviewed reflects what I’m given access to by networks and streamers, whether reviews are embargoed, how many shows I have time to watch and my own personal taste.

A tropical storm is the least of the drama on Bachelor in Paradise

The cast waits for a long-delayed rose ceremony on “Bachelor in Paradise.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

On Tuesday’s “Bachelor in Paradise,” the word love was being spread around almost as liberally as Kenny and Mari were drizzling each other with sour cream at their all you can eat off each other taco buffet.

It was an episode steeped in both the ridiculous (see: tacos) and the sublime, when bonds were strengthened, at least one heart was (re)broken, new connections were formed, others jeopardized, and a tropical storm that supposedly threatened to pull couples apart turned out to be a tempest in a teapot.

It ended with a different kind of disturbance as Aaron and Ivan went toe to toe over Chelsea and all of Bachelor Nation was left asking the question “What the hell did Ivan get up to in the hotel?”

Before we get to that part, let’s rewind to the start of yet another action-packed instalment.

So OK, Kendall. Maybe we can all agree that coming back to the place where you met your ex-boyfriend of two years for, um, “closure,” especially when said boyfriend had moved on to someone else and was romancing that person right in front of your eyes, wasn’t such a great idea.

Kendall Long was still pining for Joe Amabile in Paradise.

Kendall sort of twigged to that reality after watching her ex, Joe, and his new love, Serena, having a smooch fest on the beach, but she wanted to take one last kick at the can because “I’m not letting Joe’s relationship with Serena get in the way of my happiness anymore.”

Am I the only one who thinks Kendall got in the way of her own happiness when she broke up with Joe?

Kendall told Joe she never stopped loving him, and he was kind and supportive, holding her as she cried, but he told her he’d come to Paradise “because I knew it was over between us.”

So Kendall went home in tears and Joe went back to Serena, who then comforted him for feeling bad about his ex. Age difference be damned, I really like these two together and I’m glad Kendall isn’t around anymore to try to muck things up.

The next day, guest host Lil Jon claimed he was about to “turn this place upside down,” but he just meant that two new cast members were arriving, so business as usual.

The newbies were Ed Waisbrot from the Clare and Tayshia “Bachelorette” season — who will forever be known as the dude who had a date with Chris Harrison when he got lost trying to find Tayshia’s room — and fellow Clayshia contestant Demar Jackson.

Ed Waisbrot and Demar Jackson up the abs and pecs quotient in Paradise.

They arrived shirtless and ripped. Aaron quipped that Ed’s legs looked like “two thick Christmas hams. They’re absolutely massive. They would feed a whole village of cannibals.”

After a brief tease during which we were meant to think that Demar might be a threat to Riley’s and Maurissa’s relationship — he was not — he and Ed settled on Chelsea and Natasha for their double date.

It feels like the dates this season are focused either on food or people getting naked (or in some cases both). In this instance, Ed and Demar stripped down to briefs so Chelsea and Natasha could paint them, both figuratively and literally, as in spreading paint on their semi-nude bodies.

Natasha was enjoying Ed’s piercing blue eyes, his sense of humour and his depth, and I guess we’ll take her word for that last part.

Luckily for her, Ed did not seem to have an attachment to Brendan Morais, the dude who did her wrong, unlike her previous date, Dr. Joe. So there was plenty of laughing and kissing and, as Natasha put it, “Hallelujah, the vibes are here!”

Natasha Parker took the measure of Ed Waisbrot and liked what she saw.

Next up, it was Kenny’s and Mari’s turn to go on a date. At first I thought it was a cooking class since the chef who greeted them handed them aprons, but it was more of a build-your-own taco feast using their naked bodies as plates.

Mari and Kenny took turns disrobing and, their genitals covered with giant, fake leaves, lying on a table while their bodies were topped with tortillas and fillings and sour cream, which they spread on each other’s legs, arms, chest and stomach.

What made it even weirder is that the chef stayed in the room while they slurped chicken and beef and guacamole off each other’s body parts.

Mari Pepin-Solis and Kenny Braasch before the clothes came off.

It should come as no surprise they worked up enough of an, er, appetite to head to the boom boom room at the end of the date. But first they had what passes for a deep conversation in Paradise, avowing that they were falling in love with each other — something 40-year-old Kenny claimed to have never said to anyone other than his dog. So good luck with that Mari.

Speaking of deep conversations, Maurissa was desperate to have one with Riley because, despite how happy she said he made her, she worried that he wasn’t expressing his feelings.

Riley got tongue-tied trying to explain how he felt about Maurissa because it reminded him of his difficult relationship with his father and how his father had messed things up with his wife and kids despite how much he wanted a family, which was what Riley wanted too.

Maurissa Gunn and Riley Christian made it falling in L-word official.

After shedding some tears, Riley told Maurissa he was falling in love with her and vice versa.

So that’s three couples who have used the L-word to date, including Mari and Kenny, and Joe and Serena.

For Tia, it was more about the V-word as she tried to choose between nice guy James and bad boy Blake. James led Tia away for some private time to get to know more about her and her Arkansas hometown, but she lamented that “sometimes you have to just listen to your vagina. Kissing Blake makes my vagina dance and tingle and feel really nice.” But when she kissed James, “I just don’t feel a tingle in my vagina.”

Then Tia directly addressed her vagina for help making the decision. To the best of my knowledge, her vagina did not answer back.

As it happens, her decision was delayed when two men with walkie talkies showed up as the cast was eating the next day and told them a dangerous tropical storm was bearing down on the resort in Mexico and they had to evacuate immediately.

Would they be safe? And even more importantly, would all the couples survive their supposed separation? I mean, we saw the men and women being loaded into separate vans, but surely they were all being taken to the same hotel.

Despite the dramatic footage of time-lapsed clouds and wind and rain and lightning, everybody was back after one commercial break, the couples strolling onto the beach hand in hand. So not even Mother Nature is immune from being manipulated to fit a plot line.

Lil Jon greeted the returnees and told them the postponed cocktail party would start in one hour.

Tia was still trying to decide between Blake and James, but it looked like her lady parts were losing their influence.

Tia decided that Blake wasn’t making enough of an effort to show her she was special — like where the hell was his piece of wood with a stoplight painted on it to represent her small one-stoplight town?

Blake insisted that Tia and their relationship was all he cared about, but he didn’t have an answer when Tia asked why he hadn’t sought her out for a real conversation since their date. “I’m a simple person,” was his lame response.

I suspect Tia’s vaginal dance floor is going to be closed until further notice.

And then there was Ivan, whose prospects weren’t looking good since Kendall left. “Sad boy summer” was Aaron’s pithy description.

Aaron himself was feeling confident about his connection with Chelsea. Sure, she went on a date with Demar, but she rewarded Aaron with kisses when he built a catwalk in the sand in honour of Chelsea being a model and strutted for her.

But suddenly Ivan was leading Chelsea to a beach bed, and they were flirting and laughing and kissing, and walking hand in hand to the bar.

Declaring Ivan a “little snakey bitch bag,” Aaron confronted him. The episode ended with them right up in each other’s faces and the words “To be continued.”

So I guess we’ll find out if any punches get thrown in next week’s three-hour episode and also what the words “Something happened at the hotel” mean in relation to Ivan.

You can watch Tuesday at 8 p.m. on  Citytv.com. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Watchable Sept. 20 to 26, 2021

SHOW OF THE WEEK: Born Bad (Sept. 25, 8 p.m., CBC and CBC Gem)

There’s been a lot of attention paid recently to the abuses perpetrated on Indigenous children in Canada’s residential schools, and rightfully so. This doc shines light on another group of children victimized by the state: the thousands who were sent to Ontario training schools as far back as the 1930s but mainly from 1953 to 1984.

The “schools” were meant for so-called “delinquent” kids who couldn’t be managed by their parents or other institutions. But the doc by Marc de Guerre (“Who’s Sorry Now?” “Why Men Cheat”) makes clear these were essentially jails for children as young as 8 and, in many cases, no crime had been committed. Children could be incarcerated for things like skipping school or, according to a former psychologist who tried to help kids at a training school in Bowmanville, something as trivial as chewing gum in church.

“The purpose of a training school shall be to provide the boys or girls therein with a mental, moral, physical and vocational education, training and employment,” says a line from the Ontario Training Schools Act of 1950.

In fact, what they got was brutality and intimidation from so-called teachers who weren’t properly trained or supervised, as well as from other inmates.

Wendy Herrell, a survivor of the Kawartha Lakes Training School in Lindsay, Ont., calls it “a beautiful hunting ground . . . What better place to work when you’re a pedophile?”

Another survivor, Rick Brown, who attended the Brookside Training School in Cobourg when he was 10, recounts how a teacher hit him so hard his eardrums burst.

Thomas Lavoie, who was also at Brookside from the ages of 11 to 15, was raped by another boy whom the guards had groomed to keep the other kids in line.

“Back then, adults could do anything they wanted to kids,” says Wendy. There was no one to tell about the violence and even if there was, “You think they’re gonna believe a bad kid?” says Shelly Richardson, another Brookside survivor.

Three of the four survivors interviewed came from grossly troubled homes where they endured physical, psychological or sexual abuse, and/or alcoholic parents. That they ended up stealing, skipping school and otherwise acting out is no surprise. But that they ended up in places where, in the words of psychologist Don Weitz, “the government of Ontario was assaulting children and calling it training” was a hideous abuse of power.

There is a class action lawsuit against the government seeking $600 million to be divided among up to 20,000 survivors. The case is expected to go to trial in 2023.

Obviously money can’t take away the pain of the abuse — we get a taste of it from the survivors interviewed in the doc and those are the ones who are traumatized but coping — but I hope they get every penny they’re asking for.

The Big Leap (Sept. 21, 10 p.m., CTV)

Simone Recasner and Ser’Darius Blain in “The Big Leap.” PHOTO CREDIT: Sandy Morris/FOX

This Fox series had me at “reality dance show.”

I have long been a devotee of “So You Think You Can Dance” so was intrigued by the fact “The Big Leap’s” comedy drama plays out against a TV dance competition.

That’s where the similarities end, though. The dance show in “Leap” is far more cutthroat and manipulative than anything I ever witnessed on a “SYTYCD” set. Also, not all of the fictional competitors are, strictly speaking, dancers.

The objective is to whip the chosen ones into shape for a gender-blind performance of “Swan Lake,” but also to exploit whatever crises and insecurities they’re experiencing for audience entertainment.

Scott Foley (“Scandal,” “Felicity”) plays Nick, the Machiavellian producer in charge of that task. Kevin Daniels (“Modern Family”) plays a sympathetic judge and Mallory Jansen (“Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”) is the scary, mean one.

The main contestants Nick’s looking to exploit include Gabby (Simone Recasner), who left her dance ambitions behind when she got pregnant in high school and is battling body image issues; Julia (Teri Polo, “The Fosters”), a former ballet dancer whose marriage is falling apart and who’s freaked out about aging; and Mike (Jon Rudnitsky, “Saturday Night Live”), a non-dancer who lost his factory job and his wife, and is hoping to win the latter back through the show.

This isn’t high concept television. It’s pretty easy to guess, for instance, that Gabby — who’s in a triangle involving disgraced former football player Reggie (Ser’Darius Blain) and nasty, skinny ballroom dancer Brittney (Anna Grace Barlow) — will at some point get a chance to eclipse Brittney onstage. Or that Mike will eventually get romantic with executive Paula (Piper Perabo) despite his laser focus on his ex-wife. Or that Nick will probably turn out to be not as much of a jerk as he seems. And I’m spitballing here because I’ve only seen two episodes.

Still, you want to root for the show’s lovable losers to redeem themselves, especially Gabby, who shows an admirable determination not to let anyone else define her. And you do get to see some actual dancing, especially with ringers like Ray Cham Jr. in the cast.

The Wonder Years (Sept. 22, 7:30 p.m., CTV)

Dule Hill, Saycon Sengbloh, Elisha Wiliams and Laura Kariuki in “The Wonder Years.”
PHOTO CREDIT: ABC

This remake of the 1988 sitcom about a middle class family in the late ’60s and early ’70s has the task of presenting a feel-good slice of nostalgia while not shying away from the racial reality of a Black family in 1960s America.

Based on the episode I saw, the only one available for review, “The Wonder Years” manages to walk that line.

When it begins in 1968 Montgomery, Alabama, the now adult narrator (voiced by Don Cheadle) says that his parents taught him “how to handle yourself around cops” and notes that the country is facing a presidential election that creates a racial divide, but Dean (Elisha Williams) has more universal concerns the year he turns 12: how to get the girl he likes to like him, how to avoid the school bully, how to look cool despite his glasses.

Dean and his best friend Cory (Amari O’Neil) don’t even notice when a couple of white kids at their recently desegregated school back away from the water fountain after Cory takes a drink.

Dean’s family — musician and music professor dad Bill (Dule Hill), accountant mom Lillian (Saycon Sengbloh) and university-bound sister Kim (Laura Kariuki) —lives in a comfortable Black neighbourhood. Bill doesn’t see a reason to mix with white folks so is reluctant to grant Dean’s request to play baseball against a white team that includes his Jewish friend Brad (Julian Lerner).

The game seems like a prime scenario for small-scale racial conflict, but it’s not the white kids who impede Dean’s playing but the rivalry between his dad and the Black coach (Allen Maldonado). And then a real-life tragedy interrupts the game and unites the Black participants in grief.

“It felt like the world around us had changed forever,” says Dean, but “the world on the inside hadn’t.”

It remains to be seen if “The Wonder Years” can maintain that balance between its outside and inside worlds, but the cast certainly seems up to it.

CTV also has “Our Kind of People” debuting Sept. 21 at 9 p.m., a dramedy about a single mom (Yaya DaCosta) trying to break into a wealthy Black enclave in Martha’s Vineyard, as well as singing competition “Alter Ego” (Sept. 22, 10 p.m.) and “Celebrity Wheel of Fortune” (Sept. 26, 8 p.m.). Crave has Season 2 of “The L Word: Generation Q” (Sept. 20, 9 p.m.), Season 3 of “Doom Patrol” (Sept. 23, 9:30 p.m.) and the Starz crime drama “BMF” (Sept. 26).

Midnight Mass (Sept. 24, Netflix)

Zach Gilford and Hamish Linklater in “Midnight Mass.” PHOTO CREDIT: Eike Schroter/Netflix

What is it that makes islands the perfect setting for horror TV and movies? Probably the sense of not being able to easily escape, which was certainly the case in HBO’s creepy “The Third Day.”

In this series from Mike Flanagan, the creator of Netflix horror hits “The Haunting of Hill House” and “The Haunting of Bly Manor,” tiny Crockett Island is the scene of the supernatural goings-on.

The locals don’t seem as threatening as the ones in “The Third Day,” but there’s still an undercurrent of unease as native son Riley (Zach Gilford, “Friday Night Lights”) returns home after spending four years in jail for driving drunk and killing someone.

But Riley’s discomfort at being back in this insular place and his regrets over what he’s done are the least of his worries. The real trouble starts when aged parish priest Monsignor Pruitt fails to return from a pilgrimage to the Holy Land and, in his place, appears Father Paul (Hamish Linklater, “Legion”).

You don’t need to be an expert in the genre to know there’s something off about the new priest. Riley, town doctor Sarah (Annabeth Gish, “The Haunting of Hill House”) and Muslim sheriff Hassan (Rahul Kohli, “The Haunting of Bly Manor”) seem like the only people who are skeptical after Father Paul performs an apparent miracle during Sunday mass. The church is suddenly packed with acolytes and others start noticing physical changes in themselves — although one of those changes is devastating for Riley’s love interest, expectant mom Erin (Kate Siegel).

Town meanie and devout Catholic Bev Keane (Samantha Sloyan, “Grey’s Anatomy”) is fully on board, even after she discovers the secret behind the miracle.

In this case, the angel as well as the devil is in the details. I don’t want to spoil the reveal of the creature that’s hiding in the shadows of Crockett Island, but it puts a different spin on the idea of divine intervention as well as the extremes of faith.

The series is steeped in the rituals of the Catholic Church, with plenty of scenes that take place during mass and episodes named after books of the Bible. It’s hard to tell if Catholic-raised Flanagan is demonstrating reverence for the religion or the opposite, considering that the higher power to which Father Paul appeals seems more evil than benevolent.

“Midnight Mass” gets off to a slow start — it isn’t until episode 4 that the horror really ramps up — but it draws you in nonetheless.

Netflix also has Season 2 of “Love on the Spectrum” (Sept. 20); “Monsters Inside: The 24 Faces of Billy Milligan” (Sept. 22), about a serial rapist diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder; and Season 4 of “Dear White People” (Sept. 22).

Odds and Ends

Alison (Charlotte Ritchie, left) and Mike (Keill Smith-Bynoe, right) and their mansion full of spirits
are back for Season 2 of “Ghosts.” PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy of CBC

If you’re looking for something fun to watch that’s not overly demanding of either time or brain cells, I recommend “Ghosts.” CBC Gem has Season 2 debuting Sept. 24 (with episodes running about a half-hour you can easily catch up on Season 1 there if you haven’t already). Alison and Mike (Charlotte Ritchie and Keill Smith-Bynoe) are still stuck in their haunted money pit of an inherited mansion. The normal and paranormal roomies have learned to co-exist, but the ghosts aren’t much help as Mike and Alison struggle to make enough money to maintain the house.

CBC Gem also has Season 2 of homemade web series “The Next Stop” on Sept. 24.

Hollywood Suite has “Relentless: The Kevin Porter Story” (Sept. 21) about the Ontario firefighter and paramedic who pursued a professional hockey career in his 40s.

Global TV has Season 41 — yes, 41! — of reality TV granddaddy “Survivor” (Sept. 22, 8 p.m.) and, if you think about it, the show is really the ultimate survivor. It also has the new spinoff “NCIS: Hawai’i” (Sept. 26, 9 p.m.), featuring the franchise’s first female special agent in charge (Vanessa Lachey).

You can also catch “Savage X Fenty Show Vol. 3” Sept 24 on Amazon Prime Video, featuring the latest fashion collection from superstar Rihanna.

A ‘Brendan cloud’ hangs over Natasha on Bachelor in Paradise

Natasha Parker was the main focus of Tuesday’s “Bachelor in Paradise.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

If it wasn’t for the fact I’m pretty sure that Warner Bros. can’t control the weather, I’d suspect that “Bachelor in Paradise” producers cooked up that tropical storm we saw in next week’s promo just to mess with the cast members.

I mean think about what we saw on Tuesday’s episode.

Lovely Natasha Parker appeared to be on the chopping block after she’d been done dirty by clout chaser Brendan Morais and his girlfriend Pieper James (more on them later). But then, at the rose ceremony (just the third one in seven episodes, by the way), Wells Adams had “Bachelor” bouncer and stage manager Big Paulie bring out a special rose for Natasha.

Sweet, right?

Not so fast. Two new men arrived on the beach the next day. The first was someone Tia had her eye on, even though she was kind of coupled up with James. The second seemed like an answer to Natasha’s prayers except for one small detail: he’s one of Brendan’s best friends.

So if you think that pity rose was about Natasha getting a genuine second shot at love, think again. It’s a reminder that the real puppet masters weren’t Brendan and Pieper; they’re the people on the other side of the camera.

Speaking of Brendan and Pieper, they got a comeuppance of sorts on Tuesday — once Natasha and Demi and Jessenia reminded everyone that they’d done the same thing that Chris and Alana were accused of before they were run out of Paradise, i.e. already being in a relationship before they came on the show.

Natasha, Maurissa, Joe, Demi, Deandra and Jessenia have it out with Brendan and Pieper.

So “Grocery Store” Joe, who appears to be the sheriff of the beach, took a posse of women and confronted the guilty parties.

Brendan was still doing his “I wasn’t exclusive with Pieper” song and dance, although she was unequivocal that she came to Paradise for Brendan.

Brendan got snippy and walked away from the conversation, complaining about “Joe and his mob of disgruntled females” and “their pathetic attempt to intimidate me,” but it seems to have worked since he and Pieper decided to leave, together.

As Pieper put it, “Obviously I’m excited for the future possibility of making more money, but I would have got there on my own. Like, I have an entire master’s degree in marketing; I can figure out how to get a few more followers.”

And this from Brendan: “I didn’t intentionally want to mislead anyone. I just withheld information.”

Sounds like they’re perfect for each other.

With Brendan and Pieper gone, it was time to get back to the business of worrying who wouldn’t get roses that night, with eight men handing them out and 13 women looking to receive.

But hold that thought because first we had an edible interlude with Maurissa and Riley. In full view of the other contestants, they licked whipped cream off each other’s bodies, including Riley’s big toe.

Maurissa and Riley engage in some foot foreplay.

Wells called that “the grossest thing I’ve ever heard of,” since Riley had likely been walking on sand mixed with dead crab bodies. But he also said, “If you can suck on a toe you can get engaged at the end of this thing.”

The gauntlet has been thrown, people!

Riley and Maurissa even had time for a visit to the boom boom room, which makes you wonder just how long it takes for the rose ceremony to actually begin.

Enough time for Tammy to experience further humiliation, for one thing.

Tammy was hoping she and Thomas could pretend his date with Becca never happened, seeing as how she considered Thomas her “best friend” and someone who would be a great fit for her life.

But Thomas made it clear he had romantic feelings for Becca.

Tammy tries to put the eggs back in the basket with Thomas, on her birthday no less.

Tammy put up a fight, by which I mean she kept telling Thomas she wanted him in her life and questioning why he didn’t want her in his, but it was for naught.

Thomas gave her the “you did nothing wrong” speech, but she walked away crying, berating herself for having dumped Aaron for Thomas after people warned her not to trust him.

And did I mention it was Tammy’s birthday? “Last year I got COVID on my birthday and this is 10 times worse,” she lamented.

Hyperbolic though that comment may be, she at least devoured a chocolate cupcake in the SUV of Shame. I bet it tasted better than regrets.

Joining Tammy on the outs were Demi, Jessenia and Deandra.

The couples were Riley and Maurissa, Joe and Serena, Ivan and Kendall? — since when? — Noah and Abigail, Kenny and Mari, James and Tia, Thomas and Becca, and Aaron and Chelsea.

Then new guest host Lil Jon appeared, high-fiving everybody and spraying them with champagne.

So next day, fresh start for Natasha, right?

First some dude named Blake Monar showed up, whom nobody remembers from Clare Crawley’s “Bachelorette” season — well, except for Tia, who said “Blake is the one person I wanted to see here.” That’s apparently because of the tattoos all over his arms. Did we even see those tattoos in his brief three episodes on “Bachelorette”?

Tia Booth with newcomer Blake Monar. Not sure if her vagina had started dancing yet.

Blake was also into Tia, whether because he really does like southern women or because the producers told him to take her out, I don’t know, but they went on an off-roading date. And then they smooched in an outdoor shower and Tia said it made her “vagina dance.”

Wonder how the Bible study group will feel about that.

You want to know who wasn’t dancing? James and Natasha back at the beach, seeing as they were surrounded by people making out and reminding them they were alone. Kenny and Mari even went to the boom boom room, probably the same one he went to with Demi, but never mind.

And then a reprieve, for Natasha at least: Dr. Joe Park, the nice New York City anesthesiologist from Clare’s and Tayshia’s season, arrived. Everybody on the beach thought he was perfect for Natasha. We were supposed to think he was perfect for Natasha. They were vibing.

Natasha and Dr. Joe, back when we foolishly thought they might end up together.

When they went on their date and a bug landed in her big-ass margarita, he traded drinks with her. But then they started talking about why she was still single in Paradise and when Natasha told him it was because of Brendan, Dr. Joe responded, “Brendan? My Brendan?” And you knew they were toast.

Joe started talking vaguely about “what will be will be” and they ended the date, kissless.

“I just feel like there’s a Brendan cloud over me,” Natasha said.

We had just one more piece of business to attend to.

The other Joe, “Grocery Store” Joe, took Serena on a DIY date that involved a blanket, pillows and rose petals. And while they were being adorable together, Serena told Joe she was falling in love with him. “I think I’m falling in love with you too,” Joe responded.

After that they did an awful lot of smooching. No whipped cream, though, which is probably just as well since they were in his ex Kendall’s line of vision.

“I’m pretty heartbroken to see Joe kissing someone else,” Kendall said, claiming she’d come to Paradise to make new memories with other people, which sounds pretty sketchy to me. She blew off Ivan when he tried to kiss her.

We know that Kendall will share her angst with Joe next week; that the L-word will be flying between Kenny and Mari, and Maurissa and Riley. We also know that Ed and Demar from Clare’s and Tayshia’s season turn up, with the former making out with Natasha and the latter taking Maurissa on a date. We know that Ivan will piss off Aaron by kissing Chelsea. We know a “dangerous tropical storm” will mean evacuating the resort.

But the “end of Paradise”? Not on your life.

You can watch at 8 p.m. Tuesday on ABC or online at Citytv.com. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

The Watchable list will return

If you’ve been following this space, you know I’ve been publishing a weekly list of TV reviews since I started this blog in April 2020, and never missed a week despite vacations, stat holidays, whatever. But my editing and writing workload for the Toronto Star this week and last was just too heavy to provide time to watch any screeners. The list will return next Monday, Sept. 20. And there will be a “Bachelor in Paradise” recap this week.

A two-timer is banished from the beach on Bachelor in Paradise

“Bachelor in Paradise” “VIPs” at a party where the wheels came off for Chris Conran.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Does a villain by any other name smell as rank?

It seems a question worth asking since on Tuesday’s episode of “Bachelor in Paradise” Chris Conran stirred up a storm of moral outrage the likes of which I can’t remember seeing since supervillain Chad Johnson rampaged around the beach in 2016.

Yeah, Chris acted like a dick with a capital D, no question. He goes to a “VIP” party with Jessenia, the woman he allegedly came to Paradise for; Alana Milne, a Toronto contestant from Matt James’ Bachelor season, walks in and soon Chris is playing tonsil hockey with her in front of Jessenia and everyone else.

Not cool, no question. But was his flip-floppery worthy of them both being run off the beach, which is what happened at the end of the episode, after Chris and Alana had returned from a ziplining date?

Paradise’s version of judge, jury and executioner, led by Joe and Riley, decided that they must have had a pre-existing relationship — Alana said they had met a few times pre-Paradise — and told Chris to, in Jessenia’s words, “follow your heart and get the fuck out of here.”

(There’s a certain irony to the fact Chris said he had found a spark with Alana that he’d been missing with Jessenia, which is exactly what Jessenia said when she threw Ivan over for Chris. Karma, it’s a thing apparently.)

A rare moment between Alana and Chris at the party when they weren’t attached at the lips.

With Chris being banished, Alana had no choice but to go too. She would have been a pariah if she’d stayed. Chris suggested they leave together, but Alana sensibly pointed out that would mean they were pursuing a committed relationship “and after one day here I cannot tell you that.”

So to circle back to my first question: if Chris committed an unforgivable sin by throwing over one woman for another one he had met before, what about Brendan, who was very clearly in a pre-Paradise relationship before he screwed over Natasha by dumping her when his girlfriend Pieper showed up? And not just dumping her but saying insulting things about her, whereas Chris kept telling everyone how great Jessenia was.

“I feel the same way Jessenia feels,” said a puzzled Natasha. “You guys feel this strongly about Chris, but you don’t feel as strongly about my situation?”

Those chickens might come home to roost next Tuesday, according to the end-of-episode promos. We’ll see.

In the meantime, the game of musical partners continued with others besides Chris.

I’m sure you haven’t forgotten about Kenny, who started out with Mari, took up with Demi when Mari told him she was interested in dating other people, and then went on a date with Tia, putting him at the centre of the beach’s only lust quadrangle (so far).

Mari was trying to win Kenny back, a plan that was complicated when new guest host Tituss Burgess showed up and invited some of the cast to a “VIP” party. Demi and Kenny made the cut; Mari didn’t and she worried that Demi would use the bash to solidify her position with Kenny.

But here’s the thing: Demi’s only strategy for solidifying things apparently involved sex positions. Before Tituss showed up, she was still talking about getting Kenny back in the boom boom room.

Too bad for Demi that Kenny and Mari kissed and made up: it seems Kenny had feelings for Mari that he’d never felt before, which makes you wonder about this dude’s romantic history. He’s 40 and his most significant relationship to date is with someone he’s known for a few weeks and whom he was triple-timing?

When Kenny broke the news to Demi she ranted about how Mari was stuck up and mean and evil and a pageant girl, and why would Kenny want Mari instead of “someone like me who is playful and funny”? And then, when Kenny didn’t bite, she accused him of being “the most immature 40-year-old I’ve ever met in my life,” harsh words from an immature 26-year-old.

Meanwhile, the VIP party planted some other seeds of chaos, which was obviously the whole point.

Paradise newcomer Chelsea Vaughn chats with Thomas Jacobs at the party.

Chelsea Vaughn was one of four new women invited to the party and one of two, including Alana, who landed on the beach the next day with a date card in hand.

Chelsea chose to take Aaron, which was mildly annoying for former Bachelorette Becca Kufrin, who claimed she was interested in forming a relationship with him.

Aaron was quite taken by Chelsea’s legs, which he said were “two miles long”; Chelsea by Aaron’s eyes, which she described as “not regular brown.” It’s OK: you can pause and let the poetry wash over you.

Then, oh look: a date card arrives for Becca while Aaron is still out with Chelsea. And Becca, having had a “surprisingly good conversation” with Thomas at the party, decides to ask him on the date.

But Thomas was in a thing with Tammy, who had dumped Aaron for him, and now Thomas was going on a date with the woman who had saved Aaron’s ass after Tammy discarded him. Wow, you practically need a chart to keep up.

Becca asked Tammy’s permission first, and Tammy gave her blessing and then cried her eyes out after Becca and Thomas left.

The reaction she got was not quite as sympathetic as what was lavished on Jessenia.

“Tammy did it to herself,” said Maurissa, explaining that Aaron was like a “really good quarter” that was a little bit rusty, but Tammy got distracted by a “shiny penny.”

Aaron’s reaction, when he returned to the beach, was that Tammy deserved to cry: “She did me dirty and it’s coming back to bite her.”

So you probably don’t need me to tell you that Becca and Thomas hit it off, right? Complete with lots of smooching? No? Good. James was convinced that Thomas’s interest in Becca was mainly about her being a former Bachelorette, so higher in the pecking order than a former Bachelor villain.

In case you’re trying to keep track, Abigail and Noah, and Joe and Serena are the only Day 1 couples still going strong, unless you count Kenny and Mari getting back together.

Are there actually going to be any engagements at the end of this? Maybe the show should have budgeted for cubic zirconia instead of Neil Lane? Guess we’ll see.

Next week, Riley and Maurissa get into the whip cream; Kendall is not OK with Joe kissing Serena; next guest host Lil Jon shows up; general mayhem apparently ensues. Who knows? Maybe we’ll even get a rose ceremony.

You can watch at 8 p.m. Tuesday on ABC or online later at Citytv.com. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Pieper shows up for ‘boyfriend’ Brendan on Bachelor in Paradise

Brendan Morais became Bachelor Nation enemy No. 1 on Monday over his treatment of Natasha Parker. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

Brendan Morais isn’t the first man on “Bachelor in Paradise” to partner up with someone he’s not that into just to stick around until the person he really wants gets to the beach.

Where Brendan crossed the line from playa to stone cold villain in Monday’s episode was in his arrogant and disrespectful attitude to Natasha Parker, the woman he strung along for several weeks while he waited for Pieper James to show up.

Bad enough Brendan lied to Natasha’s face about the extent of his pre-show relationship with Pieper, but to tell a producer that Natasha had “zero prospects” on the beach outside of him? That is asshattery of a high degree.

Brendan repeated the insult in a face-to-face conversation with Natasha, telling her, “If you had any desire to talk to other guys or other guys had any desire to talk to you, it would have happened.”

Oh, and also that he and Natasha had never had a romantic relationship, and that he’d told her that but she had “selective hearing.”

Of course, in the footage that we saw just before Pieper made her entrance, Brendan told Natasha that he wasn’t a “manipulative person.” (Feel free to laugh here.) Also, “the times that we have spent together when we’re both feeling good . . . and being silly and doing our thing on the beach, and being goofy and all that stuff, that’s the reason I want to be with you.”

Which doesn’t exactly sound like someone being friend zoned.

Pieper hadn’t got the “pretend we’re not already together” memo so she read out her date card and invited Brendan without even a pretence of talking to any other men.

Brendan and Pieper as their evil plan starts to come to fruition.

Just how connected were Brendan and Pieper before Paradise?

Pieper got a little pissed with Brendan when he mentioned at dinner that he’d told other people they hadn’t been exclusively dating. But he explained, “If you have a full girlfriend going into Paradise it’s just not a good look . . . Obviously I was navigating this in a way to allow myself to potentially, hopefully be here while you’re here.”

She thanked him for “playing the game.”

“It makes me sad thinking you felt I was downplaying the connection that we had . . . You know how i feel about you, you know what we’ve talked about,” Brendan added.

We all kind of know now.

Pieper helpfully explained in her voice-over that Brendan was her boyfriend and that their plan all along had been to continue their relationship in Paradise — presumably with visions of sponcon dancing in their heads.

By the next day, when Brendan and Pieper were mooning over each other all over the beach, everybody had figured that out. And the consensus seemed to be they should leave Paradise.

When they weren’t throwing shade at Natasha — Brendan: “I was just getting so annoyed by her. I’m surprised she’s still here” — they were giggling about their Instagram followers, the tabloid attention they expected to get and how Brendan had “incriminated” himself.

The really funny part was that the pair apparently lost thousands of Instagram followers while the show was airing.

All the Brendan-Pieper drama sucked attention from the other two triangles on the beach.

Joe Amabile and ex-fiancee Kendall Long reunite on the beach.

You’ll recall that last Tuesday‘s episode ended with Kendall arriving and making a beeline for her former fiancé Joe.

Her appearance turned out to be more of a production trick than a genuine attempt to reconcile. She told Joe she still wanted him in her life but also doubled down on her refusal to move to Chicago to be with him. And I’m assuming he doesn’t want to move to L.A. and that the long distance thing didn’t work out so, um, I guess there’s really nothing to talk about then?

Although Joe claimed to be confused, he seemed pretty decisive about continuing his relationship with Serena, telling her he was over Kendall but if anything changed he would be 100 per cent honest with her about it.

The other drama involved Demi, who kind of lost her shit when Kenny came back from his nude volleyball date with Tia and immediately walked off with Mari, who told Kenny she still had feelings for him and she’d pushed him away because she got scared over feeling so strongly about him.

Kenny didn’t leap back into Mari’s arms right away, but he turned down Demi’s invitation to go to the boom boom room, and it looked like he and Mari were snuggling the next day, so I guess Demi will have to find another man to steal.

“I think Mari sucks, I think she’s mean, I think she’s a brat, I think she’s entitled and I don’t like her,” Demi fumed.

Hello pot, may I introduce you to kettle?

The only other development worth noting is that Noah and Abigail got back together, confessing that they still cared about each other and vowing to communicate better.

At this point, I would hate to declare any couple a sure thing, but there’s no denying that Noah and Abigail seem better together than apart.

That’s it until Tuesday night’s dose of drama, which promises more hostility from the rest of the cast toward Brendan and Pieper; four new arrivals, including model Chelsea from Matt’s season; Becca making out with Thomas, and tears for Tammy and Jessenia.

You can watch at 8 p.m. on ABC or online later at Citytv.com. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Watchable Sept. 6 to 12, 2021

SHOW OF THE WEEK: Reservation Dogs (Now on Disney Plus Star)

Lane Factor as Cheese, Paulina Alexis as Willie Jack, D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai as Bear and Devery Jacobs as Elora Danan in “Reservation Dogs.” PHOTO CREDIT: Shane Brown/FX

“Reservation Dogs” is its own unique thing and also utterly universal.

The proudly Indigenous comedy is about four friends — Bear (Canadian Oji-Cree actor D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai), Elora (Canadian Mohawk actor Devery Jacobs), Willie Jack (Paulina Alexis of Alberta’s Alexis Nakota Sioux Nation) and Cheese (Lane Factor, a Creek-Seminole and Caddo actor from Oklahoma) — living on the rez in rural Oklahoma, plotting to escape to California.

That specificity, the fact that every writer, director and cast regular on the show is Indigenous, and the humorous matter-of-factness with which the series presents its Indigeneity make it groundbreaking. But Bear, Elora, Willie and Cheese could also be any bored teenagers anywhere — Indigenous or otherwise — yearning for something more without knowing what they actually want.

When we first meet them, the foursome are stealing a delivery truck full of spicy potato chips. Despite the ease with which they accomplish this, these are no hardened criminals. The theft — along with the other petty crimes they’ve been committing around the village — are a means to an end: fattening up their running-away fund.

They are mourning their friend Daniel, who’s been dead a year and whose dream it was to get to California. But Bear, Willie and Cheese all seem less keen on the plan than Elora.

Also complicating things is that another gang of teens is out to get them, the self-named Indian Mafia, which is problematic since the Reservation Dogs aren’t even really a gang and aren’t particularly tough.

In one of the funnier episodes, they visit Elora’s reclusive uncle, a notorious bar brawler in his younger days, to try to get tips on how to fight but end up driving him all over town trying to sell his skunky homegrown marijuana.

During a Television Critics Association panel, the cast members and creators Sterlin Harjo and Taika Waititi emphasized that Indigenous communities everywhere are full of humour. That humour, as expressed in “Dogs,” is subtle and situational, and the four leads deliver it with aplomb, especially neophyte actor Alexis, but even the minor characters have impact here.

That includes Lil Mike and Funny Bone, whom people will recognize from “America’s Got Talent,” as bike-riding, rapping twins Mose and Mekko; Kirk Fox (“Parks and Recreation”) as Kenny Boy, movie-loving meth dealer and receiver of stolen goods; Zahn McClarnon (“Fargo,” “Westworld”) as laid-back tribal cop Big; and Dallas Goldtooth as the ghost of a warrior from the Battle of Little Bighorn — except that he didn’t actually fight because, as he was charging Custer, his horse tripped on a gopher hole, rolled over and squashed him.

Goldtooth’s Spirit character is a particularly funny poke at the stereotypes that “Reservation Dogs” is trying to lay to rest and also a reminder that the supernatural often co-exists with the so-called normal in Indigenous entertainment.

It’s not defined whether Spirit is real or a figment of Bear’s imagination, and the same goes for the deer woman (played by Canadian Mohawk actor Kaniehtiio Horn) that Big remembers from his childhood and the Sasquatch-like Tall Man that Willie Jack’s father sees in the woods. And it doesn’t really matter; they are part of the characters’ reality.

Painful things are also part of that reality. It’s implied but not stated outright, at least not in the six episodes I screened, that Daniel killed himself. Elora lost her mother when she was three. Bear is being raised by his mother (Canadian Indigenous actor Sarah Podemski) since the rapper dad he idolizes can’t be bothered to even visit. Yet the teens are nurtured by family, friends and the larger community.

Anyway, the pain isn’t the point here, which is very much the point of “Reservation Dogs.” The “Dogs” and everyone else they know are not one thing, but many things, just like any other human being.

Impeachment: American Crime Story (Sept. 7, FX)

Sarah Paulson as Linda Tripp and Beanie Feldstein as Monica Lewinsky
in “Impeachment: American Crime Story.” PHOTO CREDIT: Tina Thorpe/FX

It seems from what the producers have said to the media that a large part of the purpose of this drama is to try to change the way the women who were part of the Bill Clinton impeachment scandal are perceived.

They might stand a chance with Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones, but Linda Tripp? Good luck with that.

Sarah Paulson, nearly unrecognizable in the role in prosthetics and a “fat suit,” seemed defensive of Tripp during a Television Critics Association panel, bristling at a reporter’s comment that Tripp was unlikeable. But Tripp does seem unlikeable from the get-go in this 10-episode series: petty, judgmental, vindictive, self-important — and that’s before she gets anywhere near Lewinsky.

I suppose you could argue that Tripp’s decision to tape Lewinsky’s phone calls about her affair with Clinton and to turn those tapes over to independent counsel Ken Starr — whose report led to a vote to impeach Clinton in 1998 — was motivated by her respect for the institution of government and her anger over Clinton’s treatment of Lewinsky. But it also reeks of a desire to insert herself into the drama and make herself seem important. After all, she started taping the calls — as “Impeachment” tells it — at the instigation of literary agent Lucianne Goldberg (the ever reliable Margo Martindale) as material for a tell-all book she was hoping to write.

However you feel about her, Tripp is a key part of the action in “Impeachment,” at least the four episodes I had time to watch.

And what of Lewinsky, who was a producer and consultant on the show, even vetting some of the scripts?

It’s easy to shake our heads at Lewinsky’s choices. She comes off here as a bright but naive 20-something, head over heels in love with the president, blind initially to the fact that she was being used — as if the leader of the most powerful country in the world would trade his political might for sporadic, tawdry encounters in a private office. But it’s arguable she would have got a fairer hearing if Clinton’s dalliance with an intern, and its enormous imbalance of power, had come out during the #MeToo era instead of when it did.

And then there’s Paula Jones, portrayed by Annaleigh Ashford, who seems the most sympathetic of the three: a rube who got manipulated by right-wing ghouls like Susan Carpenter-McMillan (Judith Light) into a battle she couldn’t win, collateral damage in the Republicans’ vendetta against the Clintons.

If nothing else, the series is a feast for those who appreciate good acting, including Edie Falco as Hillary Clinton, Cobie Smulders as Ann Coulter and Clive Owen as Bill Clinton, although I’d say his is the least convincing portrayal.

The series doesn’t have the same crackle as “The People v. O.J. Simpson,” but I found it watchable nonetheless.

Short Takes

Priyanka during her Season 1 “Canada’s Drag Race” victory. PHOTO CREDIT: Bell Media

Canada’s Drag Race Anniversary Extravaganza (Sept. 6, 9 p.m., Crave)

This 90-minute special is meant to whet our appetites for Season 2 of “Canada’s Drag Race.” Presided over by Season 1 champion Priyanka, it’s mostly a strut down memory lane and a catch-up with the first season cast, most of them in studio aside from Rita Baga, Kiara and Kyne on video link. There’s also a meet-and-greet with new judges Brad Goreski, Traci Melchor and Amanda Brugel, and music videos from Tynomi Banks, BOA and Priyanka. It’s not all glitter and grins, with BOA calling out Priyanka for not returning her texts, and Scarlett BoBo and Ilona Verley talking about their broken friendship. Mind you, this must have been shot before Ilona went public slamming “Drag Race” producers for not letting them talk about their trans identity on the show.

Jessica Chastain and Oscar Isaac in “Scenes From a Marriage.” PHOTO CREDIT: JoJo Whilden/HBO

Scenes From a Marriage (Sept. 12, 9 p.m., HBO/Crave)

Look, I won’t bore you by bemoaning what a crazy week I had last week; just know that I didn’t get to watch as many screeners as I needed to, which means I got through only one episode of this drama, an adaptation of Ingmar Bergmann’s 1973 miniseries about a couple’s marriage falling apart. First impressions: Jessica Chastain and Oscar Isaac are excellent as the central couple, as you’d expect, and it seems like a thoughtfully made, thought-provoking drama, but it wouldn’t be fair to say more without having seen more.

Crave also has Showtime’s “American Rust” (Sept. 12, 10 p.m.), which looks intriguing in the trailer and has a cast led by Jeff Daniels and Maura Tierney.

Odds and Ends

Jenn Colella and the cast of the “Come From Away” movie. PHOTO CREDIT: Apple TV Plus

The filmed version of the theatre musical “Come From Away” debuts on Apple TV Plus on Sept. 10, just ahead of the 20th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. The musical is about how residents in Gander and other Newfoundland towns took care of the more than 6,500 “plane people” who were stranded there when the attacks led to U.S. airspace being closed. Unfortunately, reviews are embargoed until Tuesday.

Showcase has “Dr. Death” (Sept. 12, 9 p.m.), starring Canadian Joshua Jackson as the real-life Texas doctor who left his spinal surgery patients maimed or dead.

Fans of the drama “Lucifer” will be pleased to know Season 6 is coming to Netflix on Sept. 10. That same day, Netflix has “Metal Shop Masters,” a competition series for metal artists. Personally, I couldn’t be bothered with “Countdown Inspiration4 Mission to Space” (Sept. 6), which is meant to culminate with the Sept. 15 launch of SpaceX’s Inspiration4 rocket, with an all-civilian crew orbiting Earth, but if you’re a fan of billionaires like Elon Musk fiddling in space while the Earth burns, have at ‘er. There’s also the documentary “Untold: Breaking Point” (Sept. 7), about American tennis player Mardy Fish’s mental health challenges.

Disney Plus has “Doogie Kamealoha, M.D.” (Sept. 8), in which the plot line about a teenage doctor (Neil Patrick Harris in the 1989 original) has been updated with a female, mixed race lead, Peyton Elizabeth Lee, and the action moved to Hawaii.

Amazon’s main debut this week is the movie “Voyeurs” (Sept. 10), which has Sydney Sweeney of “The White Lotus” and “The Handmaid’s Tale,” and Justice Smith (“The Get Down”) as a young couple who get more than they bargained for when they spy on their sexy neighbours across the way (Ben Hardy and Natasha Liu Bordizzo). This was shot and set in Montreal.

There’s a “Days of Our Lives” spinoff series, “Beyond Salem,” on StackTV on Sept. 6.

Stop-motion comedy “Robot Chicken” is back for its 11th season Sept. 6 at midnight on Adult Swim.

If you have an appetite for new food shows, Mary Berg is back on TV with “Mary Makes It Easy” Sept. 6 at 8 p.m. on CTV Life Channel, followed by 8:30 p.m. by “Up the Dish” with Carolyn Sandler.

NOTE: The listings here are in Eastern Standard Time, and reflect information provided to me and cross-checked where possible, but it’s always best to check listings for your own area. The selection of programs reviewed reflects what I’m given access to by networks and streamers, whether reviews are embargoed, how many shows I have time to watch and my own personal taste.

The breakups just keep coming on Bachelor in Paradise

Tahzjuan Hawkins and Thomas Jacobs: only one of them was still on the beach after Tuesday’s “Bachelor in Paradise” episode. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except for screen grabs, Craig Sjodin/ABC

B stands for bling and breakups, bare ass naked and black bars, even biblical — a word you wouldn’t normally associate with “Bachelor in Paradise.”

It doesn’t stand for boring, at least not with all the drama in Tuesday’s episode, unless you’re Abigail trying to figure out why Noah doesn’t want to ravish you.

Bartender and rose ceremony ringmaster Wells Adams called it: “I’ve done this for five years. This is the craziest I’ve ever seen Paradise.”

One thing we haven’t seen so far this season: a Tanner and Jade, or even an Ashley and Jared.

Relationships seem to dissipate almost as quickly as Kenny strips off his clothes, which he did for a nude volleyball date (more on that later).

First things first: that “to be continued” Aaron-Thomas confrontation, the one that everyone was pretending might end in physical violence? Pffffft. Thomas walked away from Aaron and then Aaron had it out with Tammy, seeming more concerned about the “humiliation” of everyone pitying him than any feelings he had for her.

Tammy Ly and Aaron Clancy back when he didn’t feel like “a laughing stock.”

He warned her that she’d regret choosing Thomas: “He’s not a good person.” Whether that last part is true, we already know Aaron has a point about the first part due to the magic of promos: Thomas’s eye will soon wander to Becca Kufrin, who joined the cast Tuesday.

Meanwhile, Deandra was caught up in a sort of battle of the bling, if we can stretch the definition of bling to include “ugly ass jewelry,” in the words of Demi.

You’ll recall that Pandora bracelet that Karl gave Deandra? Chasen “one-uppered” him with a sparkly necklace that Deandra described as gorgeous but Demi called hideous. Then Deandra gave the bracelet back to Karl, which had Karl calling Chasen “Captain Upper Pants,” whatever the hell that means.

Commentators like Demi and Noah were dubious that either piece of jewelry would hold much sway with Deandra and they were correct: at the rose ceremony, during which she was conspicuously not wearing Chasen’s necklace, she gave her flower to Ivan. I think it’s safe to say Bachelor Nation heartily approves that choice.

So Karl and Chasen were gone, whatever, but we also lost Connor the Cat. His questionable taste in beach outfits aside, I found that kind of sad.

His wasn’t the only departure to be mourned on Tuesday.

Tahzjuan and Tre Cooper, back when we thought they still had a shot at TV love.

Tre decided that Tahzjuan wasn’t his person and it was time for him to go, but he hoped his leaving would enable Tahz to find love with someone else. Alas, Tahz declared she was done with love and she left too. She departed, wrapped in a blanket in the back of an SUV, with the immortal words “I’m crying, sweating, crying more. It’s a lot.”

Around the time that was happening, departing guest host Lance Bass gathered everyone together for an announcement he said was going to “change everything.” Maybe that’s an infinitesimal bit true in the sense that a former Bachelorette has never competed on “Bachelor in Paradise” before. But really, as great as Becca is, she’s just another cast member.

Becca Kufrin makes her not-so-surprising entrance on “Bachelor in Paradise.”

Within minutes, “Bachelor in Paradise” had turned into a mini “Bachelorette” episode as all the men who weren’t already in twosomes jostled for time with Becca, interrupting each other to get their turns.

Aaron — whom Becca pointed out would have been in Grade 8 when she was a high school senior — seemed especially stoked, declaring, “If I could get a rose from Becca that would be absolutely biblical.”

And he did indeed get Becca’s rose, although I suspect that had as much to do with production wanting to keep him around for future Thomas conflict as with Becca’s interest in him.

Most of the roses handed out were givens, including Natasha’s to Brendan, Maurissa’s to Ivan, Serena’s to Joe, Abigail’s to Noah, Jessenia’s to Chris, Tammy’s to Thomas and Demi’s to Kenny. Mari gave hers to James.

To tell the truth, when the season started I would not have pegged Kenny as the hottest commodity on the beach. But after starting out with Mari then getting snapped up by Demi, complete with a visit to the boom boom room, he was quickly targeted by new arrival Tia Booth, who was praying for “a great, godly man” with abs — Kenny fulfills at least the second part of that wish list.

Despite Demi’s insistence that she was sexier and more fun than Tia — “The only thing worse than Tia’s gaydar is her denim shorts,” Demi sniped, referring to Tia’s previous liaison with Colton Underwood — Kenny agreed to a date with Tia, explaining to Demi, “I didn’t feel like we were full on dating.” No, just full on fornicating, I guess.

Tia Booth and Kenny Braasch during the clothed part of their date.

Tia and Kenny went strolling on a beach only to be approached by a man and two women who wanted to play volleyball, and then the strangers started getting naked, right down to the “full china pots” and “full flaccid wiener,” to use Tia’s vernacular. Turns out they were in a no-clothes zone.

“I’m thinking about the conversation that’s appropriate for a first date; now we’re seeing labia,” Tia said.

Fretting that her parents and Bible study group would be watching the show, she agreed to go as far as taking her bikini top off. Kenny went full monty, like anyone would be surprised by that. And then they all played a game of black-bar beach volleyball.

Afterwards, Tia and Kenny toasted to seeing each other’s tits and schlong, and got on with the obligatory smooching, despite Tia’s fear that Demi would murder her in her bed.

Back on the beach, the apparent breakup of Noah and Abigail seemed to have rattled some folks, or at least that’s how they played it for the camera.

To be honest, I can’t tell if it’s an actual break or just a blip.

Abigail Heringer and Noah Erb when they were still a thing.

It began with Abigail complaining to the other women that she and Noah kissed and stuff, but “we’re not we can’t keep our hands off each other” a la Maurissa and Riley.

So Abigail asked Noah, “Why are we both holding back?” saying she felt like they were more than friends but not at a “relationship level” yet.

“I don’t normally kiss my friends,” retorted Noah.

He also suggested he wasn’t getting the responses he wanted from Abigail.

“Are we able to even get to what we want by the end of this, is the question,” he said.

The talk ended with Noah saying he was going to pull back and going for a sad, solo walk in the surf while Abigail had a cry.

That left Serena and Joe, who you have to admit are pretty adorable together, deciding they were now the strongest couple on the beach but . . . oh oh, here comes Joe’s ex, Kendall.

Not only did she look gorgeous, she was laser-focused on Joe, saying, “My worst fear is walking down and seeing him holding hands with somebody.”

As the episode ended, Kendall headed straight to the beach bed where Joe was lounging with Serena, said “Hey butthead” and asked to talk, to which Joe’s response was “Fuuuuck.”

Next week, look for more Joe-Serena-Kendall and Noah-Abigail drama; Mari and Demi still pursuing Kenny; and Brendan dumping Natasha for new arrival Pieper, like we didn’t see that coming.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv.com. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

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