Shedding tears for a clown on ‘Canada’s Drag Race’

SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU DON’T KNOW WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED ON “CANADA’S DRAG RACE” EPISODE 9, STOP NOW, COME BACK LATER.

There’s a certain irony to the fact that Canada’s favourite drag clown was eliminated from “Canada’s Drag Race” after another contestant clowned around in the lip sync.

Look, I’m as shocked as many of you. I prescreened the episode right up until the end of the lip sync (I never find out who won until the episode airs); I wrote almost an entire post based on the assumption that Rita Baga lost because I couldn’t imagine Jimbo getting sent home. Not only am I sorry to see Jimbo go, I had to start my whole friggin’ post over from scratch.

I wasn’t jumping up and down over either lip sync performance, to be honest, but Rita seemed to get the judges onside by playing for comic effect. She tore off her long, tight skirt mid-song with the help of scissors stashed in her bodice; she made fun of the awkwardness of the foam ice on her dress; she slid across the stage on her butt.

Jimbo, on the other hand, was going for sultry and sexy, but was hampered by her gown and the giant crown of Christmas paraphernalia on her head. By the end of Tegan and Sara’s “Closer” she could only use one arm at a time because the other was keeping the crown from falling off.

So here we are: the top three are Rita, Priyanka and Scarlett BoBo. Is it the top three I envisioned? No, I would have figured Jimbo, Priyanka, and either Rita or Lemon, but you know, I’m not mad about this.

Jimbo is talented as hell and, once the pandemic releases its grip on the entertainment industry, she’s going to be in high demand.

Let’s backtrack to how we ended up with a couple of ice queens battling it out for the last spot in the top three.

The episode began with a victory for Rita, her first in a mini-challenge, after the top four queens did screen tests singing comedic versions of “O Canada,” coached by comedian Sabrina Jaleez. Rita and Jimbo were definitely the funniest.

But that was child’s play compared to the maxi-challenge, creating three looks for a “snow ball,” the final one made from scratch: “Executive Holiday Party Realness,” “Apres the Apres Ski Icy Walk of Shame” and “Ice Queen Eleganza.” And the queens were walking the runway in front of legendary “RuPaul’s Drag Race” judge Michelle Visage. Cue the nerves.

As the queens prepped their outfits, much was made of the the fact that Scarlett didn’t know how to sew. You might have figured she was headed for the bottom, which was of course the point of all those references to her lack of sewing skills, but you would be wrong. Scarlett finally won a maxi-challenge. Talk about peaking at the right time!

The judges were gagging for Scarlett’s ice queen look of silver hot pants and bra festooned with faux pearls, and silver and faux fur cape. It definitely wasn’t the bet sewing job, but the judges focused instead on Scarlett’s “rocker white walker” vibe. And I have to say her makeup was spectacular.

Also, her “Icy Walk of Shame” snow bunny outfit was adorable and she looked like a proper boss in her “Executive Holiday Party Realness” suit.

Personally, I preferred Priyanka’s runway overall. I know, I know, she risked Michelle Visage’s wrath by wearing a bodysuit “with stuff stuck on it” for her Ice Queen look with a paper skirt (did she learn nothing from the paper “knight” costumes in Episode 4?), but her hair and makeup were fabulous. And I loved, loved, loved the Christmas tree executive suit and the slutty morning-after-the-party look of a sweater (or was it a parka, as Michelle said) belted with a maple leaf.

What didn’t I love? Everything Rita wore. Her long executive blazer was boring. The hideous nylon track suit and mullet for her walk of shame? Sure, Michelle Visage found her hilarious and called her runway “performance art,” but I didn’t get it. And I appreciate the work that went into sewing her Ice Queen gown, but it wasn’t flattering. Brooke was dead right about it needing a waist.

And what of Jimbo? To her face, the judges were mostly complimentary except that Brooke found her crown awkward and Michelle had an issue with her makeup. Privately, Brooke said she was really disappointed in Jimbo and that she had gotten too comfortable. I confess I was underwhelmed by all three of her outfits and I can’t even put my finger on why. Just didn’t love them.

Every “Drag Race” episode has what you could call a teachable moment. This week’s saw the judges holding up photos of each queen as a little boy and asking them what they’d tell their younger selves.

Every queen was in tears. Every message was a variation on believing in yourself and being true to yourself. Every message also touched on past pain, whether it was Priyanka telling young Mark, “You’re gonna have a really hard time growing up because people are gonna be really mean to you”; or Scarlett, who earlier talked about watching her alcoholic stepfather beat her mother, telling young Matty that “no matter how hard it gets to keep pushing through.”

But the main takeaway for me was that these are real people with real feelings, just as on any reality competition. So if you’re cyberbullying any of these queens because you’re pissed that they won a lip sync and your favourite went home — or any of the judges because you didn’t like their comments — give your head a shake and get the fuck over yourself.

As far as exits go, Jimbo put on a great show. She dropped to her knees, screamed “Whyyyyyyyy?” and then face-planted on the stage and crawled away. The judges laughed so hard I think they might have peed themselves a little. It was a fitting farewell for a clown.

Backstage, Jimbo was proud of herself for making final four. “Drag is all around us,” she said. “It’s the costume, the character that you put on in the morning to face the world, and anyone that can fearlessly self-express and share that in the world should be commended.” And then she smeared red lipstick all around her mouth and laughed maniacally.

I can’t believe it, but next week is the finale. The top three queens have to rewrite and remix RuPaul’s “U Wear It Well.” All 12 contestants return, so expect some shade. And most important, Canada’s first Drag Superstar will be crowned. Until then . . .

Catch the “Canada’s Drag Race” finale Thursday at 9 p.m. on Crave.