From left, Joey, Alice, Jeremy, Brendan M, Stacy, Kit, Lisa and Angela hang out
in the Canadian equivalent of the rose palapa. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos courtesy of Citytv

Six makeout sessions, three triangles, one pre-emptive emotional breakdown, one brewing “cat fight.”

Were you worried Canadians would be too polite for drama? Pshaw.

OK, we haven’t had a quadrangle yet, a la Kenny, Mari, Demi and Tia on U.S. “Paradise,” nor have I seen a boom boom room, but the inaugural “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” season is still young.

What we did see on Sunday’s premiere episode was familiar — comely cast members ostensibly looking for love, confessionals, date cards, a bar to gather at, even a beach bed — but also its own thing. That includes a Canadian theme song: “We’re Here for a Good Time (Not a Long Time)” by Vancouver band Trooper.

Nobody is going to mistake that Northern Ontario lakeside setting for Mexico, not with its forest backdrop, the canoes and the Muskoka chairs, plus the funny animal shots are of seagulls, hawks, geese, ducks, robins and frogs rather than iguanas and crabs — no sign yet of the “friendly skunks” that bartender Kevin Wendt said he encountered.

Medicine Hat’s Joey Kirchner, with host Jesse Jones, let it almost all hang out on his “Paradise” entrance.

“Bachelor in Paradise” U.S. gave us a naked Kenny Braasch; “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” will see his six-pack abs and tattoos, and raise you a pink Speedo, cowboy boots and cowboy hat in Alberta construction worker and model Joey.

As his fellow Albertan, ex-pro football player turned yoga instructor Brendan M quipped, “The fact that Joey showed up here in a Speedo, I mean that shows a lot of balls; it literally shows a lot of balls” — and note there were no black bars on the crotch shots.

And then there’s Lisa, the squirrel-loving “mermaid” from Season 3 of “The Bachelor Canada,” who just might own the record for earliest tears ever on a “Paradise” season.

Lisa was crying because of things that hadn’t happened yet. “I literally have so much time to create conspiracy theories in my head,” the St. Catharines cos player declared to the other cast members.

She teared up telling Chris, the self-described “Renaissance man” from the sole “Bachelorette Canada” season, that she was expecting other people to be “pieces of shit,” a phrase she used several times on camera — including once when she fell off her six-inch heels.

“Nobody told me we’d be at the beach,” she complained to Kevin, refusing his suggestion to take the shoes off because she’d lose her “power” if she lost her height.

Speaking of power, New York real estate dude Kamil — he of the awkward TV breakup with U.S. “Paradise” ex Annaliese — mistook Lisa at first for Shushanna, the woman who got a witchcraft edit on “Paradise” after she stalked Kamil and burnt his photo in a fire. And, oh yeah, Shushanna also cried a lot.

Kamil Nicalek called Caitlin Clemmens “Clementine” because she was “a sweet time.”

Kamil had the distinction of being part of two triangles: one with Chris and Toronto real estate agent Caitlin, a vet of both the U.S. “Bachelor” and “Paradise”; and one with Caitlin and Veronique, a.k.a. Vay, a Toronto by way of Sudbury real estate agent who just happens to be Caitlin’s nemesis. What a coincidence!

Why does Caitlin dislike Vay? No idea. The former said, “It’s not a conversation that needs to be had on TV” when other cast members pumped her for deets. Vay, who turned up late with date card in hand and chose Kamil — duh — told him she had no idea why Caitlin disliked her.

Kamil vowed to stay neutral like Switzerland or Canada in the beef between the two — if by neutral you mean calling Caitlin his “number one priority” but then kissing Vay a lot.

Chris Kotelmach with Ana Cruz, left, and Caitlin Clemmens, a.k.a. “fuck, what’s her name?”

Chris, meanwhile, had decided Caitlin was going to be the mother of his children, even though at one point he couldn’t remember her name. He took advantage of Kamil’s absence to snuggle with Caitlin and, eventually, kiss her. And the kiss was, to quote Caitlin, “Um, I don’t know,” and also “forced and a little unnatural,” although to Chris it was a double “wow.”

Kisses, as you may know, are a sore point for Chris since in “Bachelorette Canada,” it was Jasmine Lorimer refusing to kiss him that preceded him being sent home. But Caitlin decided to keep Chris in her back pocket to protect herself while Kamil was dallying with Vay.

The other triangle involved Edmontonian Brendan M, American model, “Bachelor” and “Paradise” vet Angela and Vancouver “Bachelor Canada” alum Stacy.

Angela Amezcua only had eyes for former CFL player Brendan Morgan’s green eyes.

Brendan smooched both of them pretty extensively, which shows he developed skills as a player beyond his football days with Winnipeg and Edmonton. Angela seemed to have the edge on kissing though, with Brendan saying, on a scale of 1 to 10, kissing her required “another scale.”

And then there was the other Brendan: Scanzano, as in the man of mystery from Katie Thurston’s “Bachelorette” season, since viewers couldn’t seem to figure out who he was and why he was still there.

He was first to arrive, by boat — so if you’re all trying to figure out where this was filmed, clearly it’s on an island — and the first to form a much coveted connection, with New Yorker Illeana from Matt James’ “Bachelor” season.

Brendan Scanzano called Illeana Pennetto “the real deal.” Um, well, we’ll see.

They were also the first couple that we saw kissing, on a beach bed no less. Brendan seemed all in, although Illeana warned him she would go on a date with someone else if they invited her. I think that’s what they call foreshadowing, folks.

Indeed, the season promo showed Illeana kissing someone who was not Brendan, not unless Brendan cut his hair, dyed it and grew a face full of stubble.

Also, according to multiple cast members in said promo, there’s a “storm” coming — ya think? — with tension on the menu between Kamil and Joey, between Kamil and Chris, between Caitlin and Vay, between Lisa and the yet-to-arrive David of “Bachelorette Canada” and who knows who else? A towel is flung, a glass is flung, Joey’s threatening to make mince meat of a coyote — pronounced cuy-oot — that’s scaring a mare; Kamil is comparing himself to a gorilla and Chris to a rooster.

It’s a jungle, er, a forest out there.

When the episode ended without a rose ceremony — another chip off the American block — there were nine women vying for six roses, only one of which looked like a sure thing.

You can tune in next Sunday at 8 p.m. on Citytv to see how it turns out. And don’t forget “Bachelor After Show: After Paradise” at 9:30 p.m. If you want to talk Paradise you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo