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Tag: Bachelor in Paradise finale

Bachelor in Paradise recap: Well, we have Brandon and Serene

“Bachelor in Paradise” cast members: from left front row, Logan Palmer, Andrew Spencer, Genevieve Parisi, Shanae Ankney and Rodney Mathews; from left back row, Jacob Rapini, Sierra Jackson, Kira Mengistu and Romeo Alexander. PHOTO CREDIT: All L.A. photos Eric McCandless/ABC

When the going gets tough after “Bachelor in Paradise,” apparently the tough go to Italy.

That was one takeaway from the second part of the Season 8 finale on Tuesday. That’s where two of the women — Brittany Galvin and Victoria Fuller — hightailed it when they broke up with their “Paradise” sweeties.

Who is to blame for those breakups is sure to be a subject of much contention among Bachelor Nation.

Both Tyler Norris and Johnny DePhillipo seemed heartbroken onstage with host Jesse Palmer during the live portion of the finale. Brittany and Victoria, not so much, although Victoria did get close to tears at one point. Accusations were exchanged by the ex-lovebirds. Closure was elusive. I’ll have more to say on the he said-she said of it all later.

Thankfully we came out of this slog of a season with some nice things: Brandon Jones and Serene Russell are engaged and still deliriously in love; Michael Allio finally told Danielle Maltby he loved her, onstage no less; Jacob Rapini and Jill Chin are going to give it another try; Kira Mengistu and Romeo Alexander — remember them? — are still dating.

It’s not exactly a love-a-palooza, but we’ll take it.

I’m not gonna make like the producers and rehash the season in highlight reel after highlight reel, but here’s what went down on the final episode.

Pssst, you know they can hear you, right?

Logan Palmer, who’s gone from sort of villain on Gabby’s and Rachel’s “Bachelorette” season to wronged man on “Paradise,” got to confront erstwhile squeeze Kate, who’d spent much of the latter part of their relationship dissing Logan behind his back for not being wealthy enough for her.

Kate told Logan she hated that he had heard her “concerns,” that she had been talking “to my girlfriends in private,” and that it wasn’t really about what car he drove or which gym he could afford, but “you weren’t ready for the type of serious partnership I’m looking for.”

Logan reminded her that there were “cameras everywhere, we were wearing mics” and that he, in fact, had a career he was proud of in TV production despite spending a year as a scuba instructor and dog walker to make ends meet.

“I wish you did say it to me,” he told Kate. “It would have cleared a lot of things up. It would have really showed who you were.”

Yeah, feels like we all have a pretty good idea now of who Kate is.

Jacob Rapini and Jill Chin kissed and made up.

Tarzan finds his Jane?

Speaking of Kate, you’ll recall that Jacob Rapini threw over Jill Chin for her — even though Kate had already discarded him for Logan — which seemed like a really bad call. Jacob acknowledged he had messed up and, striding across the stage to take Jill’s hands, told her he wanted to try again. She did too. They kissed and Jacob carried her off the stage to the cheers of the audience.

I hope those two weirdos — and I mean that in the most affectionate way — can make it work.

Two wrongs don’t make a reconciliation

One of the more annoying bits of producer manipulation this season was letting rose reject Justin Glaze come back to the beach to pursue Eliza Isichei, who seemed to be in a solid relationship with Rodney Mathews.

Eliza vacillated between the two, finally gave a rose to Rodney and then declared the next morning that she’d made a mistake, leaving Paradise to pursue Justin in Baltimore, who in turn rejected her.

On Tuesday, Eliza said that, oops, she’d made a mistake when she said she made a mistake and she still had feelings for Rodney. But Rodney was having none of it.

“I’ll never forget how I felt in those moments, so hurt and humiliated in front of everyone. That’s something that hurts me to this day,” Rodney said. “But I feel like I’m finally getting better in my healing and coming back to life.”

Once bitten, twice shy, as it were.

Remind me again why this man isn’t our new Bachelor?

Jesse Palmer, Genevieve Parisi and Aaron Clancy: not arguing for a change.

He’s sorry, that’s facts

Genevieve Parisi and Aaron Clancy, who had the most volatile relationship in Paradise, shared the hot seat after not having seen each other since the day they broke up on the beach — with another argument, naturally.

They apologized to each other: her for being “emotionally reactive” to the things Aaron said; he for being “prideful,” “foolish” and “ignorant to your feelings.”

They hugged it out, but someone slap them if they ever consider getting back together.

Tyler Norris and Brittany Galvin have a not entirely cordial chat in the hot seat.

He said, she said Part 1

Next, it was Tyler’s turn in the hot seat and he seemed to struggle at times to hold back tears. He said Brittany broke up with him by FaceTime from Italy the same day we all watched him get dumped by Rachel Recchia on “The Bachelorette.”

When Brittany joined him onstage they had very different views of their parting. Tyler said she had still been telling him every day how much she loved him. Brittany said she had asked to take a break, but Tyler kept Snapchatting and DMing her. “It was too much,” she said.

So was she driven away by an overly clingy boyfriend or was he deceived by a duplicitous girlfriend? I lean toward the former since I can’t help recalling how intense Tyler was when he talked to Rachel about “unconditional love” and trying to find somebody who “can love as hard as you can.”

Brittany tweeted Tuesday night that she and Tyler had ended things on “mutual terms” and she was blindsided onstage, which was why she seemed “cold-hearted.”

Michael Allio gets emotional after telling Danielle Maltby he loves her.

Worth the move to Akron?

Phew, Michael Allio and Danielle Maltby are still together.

The promo for Tuesday’s episode was edited in such a way that you might have thought they’d broken up, but it was just stupid producer tricks as usual.

When Michael said, “I didn’t give you the kind of closure that you needed,” he was talking to Sierra Jackson, the woman he was with before Danielle arrived. Sierra very graciously accepted Michael’s apology.

As for him and Danielle, she is moving to Akron, Ohio, to be with Michael — not moving in with him, mind you, although she has met his son, James, a bunch of times.

Asked by Jesse to share final thoughts, widower Michael told Danielle, “You know I only said ‘I love you’ to one person in my entire life, but I love you.”

So maybe we should all stop resenting Michael now for dumping Sierra and for being a producers’ pet, and just cheer on him and Danielle.

Victoria Fuller and Johnny DePhillipo before the wheels fell off. PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC

He said, she said Part 2

At this point, “Bachelor in Paradise” finally went back to Paradise, where we watched Victoria and Johnny get engaged in Mexico. Victoria said she couldn’t imagine her life without Johnny and Johnny said he would have her back no matter what.

And that lasted for what, three weeks? That’s when Victoria said she knew they weren’t going to be engaged anymore “if we are fighting this much, this soon and this toxic.” Although it was bleeped out on air, Victoria said that Johnny had called her a stupid C-word and asked her what she could provide to the relationship if she wouldn’t cook or clean.

Johnny claimed the cooking and cleaning comment was a joke. He also accused Victoria of cheating on him emotionally by talking to someone else while they were still trying to work things out.

That someone, of course, is Greg Grippo, formerly of Katie Thurston’s “Bachelorette” season and Victoria’s new boyfriend.

Greg joined Victoria in the hot seat — after Johnny had left, mercifully — and told Jesse he and Victoria had been friends who ended up “rekindling” in the weeks after Paradise. Then they decided to go for a drink to test things out . . . in Rome because, Victoria said, they couldn’t be seen together in New York or Nashville. Oh yeah, and they got matching tattoos of the word “Ciao” on their arms while they were there so I guess the test went well.

While this conversation was going on, production kept cutting to the parking lot where Tyler was commiserating with Johnny, basically about what a liar Victoria was.

I honestly have no idea if Victoria is a liar, if Johnny is a misogynist or who’s telling the truth. Social media certainly seems to be on Johnny’s side.

But Victoria said, “Everyone can hate us if they fucking want. I don’t give two fucks because I’ve got this bleep” (no idea what that third bleep was) and there you have it.

Serene Russell and Brandon Jones get engaged in Mexico.

The only love story that really mattered

Throughout the disappointments of the season, Brandon and Serene were our rock. They never so much as looked at anyone else on the beach. They never fought. They were steadfast in their desire to be together. So yes, they got engaged after exchanging heartfelt speeches in which they pledged undying love to each other. Brandon teared up just watching Serene walk across the sand toward him, for heaven’s sake.

They did, however, decline Jesse’s offer to marry them right there on the beach.

As Brandon explained, “we’re so family oriented to the point that our family has to be there.” Makes sense to me.

So yes, this interminable season of “Bachelor in Paradise” is finally over. “The Bachelor” begins Jan. 23 and bad news, Victoria haters, she was in the promo. She will be on Zach Shallcross’s season for reasons I can’t yet fathom.

I haven’t decided yet if I will recap it, although who am I kidding? It’s like a cult. I can’t seem to get out. But I will definitely recap “Bachelor in Paradise Canada,” which is supposedly coming soon.

Till then,  you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise recap: That beach sure emptied fast

Last couples standing: Brandon Jones and Serene Russell, and Johnny DePhillipo and Victoria Fuller. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos screen grabs

So this is it? This is what we spent nine weeks and soon-to-be 16 episodes of “Bachelor in Paradise” for? One lousy engagement?

Since we’ve only seen Night 1 of the two-part finale, I know that technically nobody is engaged yet. But if Brandon and Serene don’t put a ring on it Tuesday, it really will be the most shocking finale ever.

And I also know, because I broke my own rule and read a spoiler, that Johnny and Victoria supposedly also get engaged on Tuesday’s final episode, but nobody cares because — SPOILER ALERT! — they’ve already broken up and she’s allegedly dating Greg Grippo (Katie’s “Bachelorette” season).

So I repeat: one engagement.

Considering the lengths producers went this season to mess with relationships — sending the women away in a “Love Island”-style twist, letting people who’d been sent home come back to chase people who were already coupled up — I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised this is what it came to. But it’s a pretty crappy reward for sticking it out with the worst “Paradise” season yet.

Ahead of Monday’s final rose ceremony, there were eight couples remaining plus Mara, who announced to everyone else, “I think I’m gonna have to take myself out of Paradise.” I’m sorry, are you still here?

The producers did their best to make the rose ceremony a dramatic one by cancelling the cocktail party — this after host Jesse Palmer made a point of telling all the couples they had to think carefully about the state of their relationships and whether they were ready to get engaged. But just don’t talk to the other person while you’re thinking about it.

Despite that, there was only one crash and burn: Logan and Kate, and let’s not pretend we’re surprised.

Logan, bless him, told Kate, “I still believe in you and me” before offering her his rose.

Logan Palmer before Kate Gallivan rejected his rose with one last lecture.

Kate noted that Logan had told her she was “critical, looked down on you, not warm enough and stimulated by the drama.” And your point is?

“In reality, those are projections that I feel from you,” Kate said. “And when Jesse told us earlier to ask ourselves if we were happy or in love, the answer for those questions for me is no. I know what I want and this isn’t it.”

Ouch.

After Kate climbed into the SUV of Shame she basically insulted Logan’s penis size as well as his income. Instead of their relationship being an uphill battle, she said, they should have been “dry-humping in the corner” (or maybe the pool, which is what she did with Jacob, although I guess really that’s wet-humping).

“Please God, bring me a grown-ass man with a big *bleep* and a bigger bank account,” Kate said.

Good luck with that.

The next day it was time for the usual “Paradise is over” speech that always marks this point in the season. Fantasy suites were coming up, yada yada. If the couples weren’t ready to be engaged there was the door, etc. And the dominos began to fall.

The most elegant breakup belonged to twin Justin and Florence.

“At the moment, I think we shouldn’t pursue things outside of Paradise,” he said.

“Yeah, I agree,” said Flo.

Done and dusted.

It wasn’t as easy for his brother, Joey. Shanae tearfully rambled on about how the age gap scared her — he’s 24, she’s 30 — how he wasn’t independent enough since he still lived with his parents, how he was doing TikToks all over the place and she wanted a “man” — insulting Joey more with every utterance.

But honestly, I’m surprised the twins lasted past their first night, never mind to the last day of Paradise.

Three guesses for who had the messiest break-up and the first two don’t count: Come on down, Aaron and Genevieve. You think they were going to go without one last pointless argument?

You didn’t think Genevieve Parisi and Aaron Clancy were going to stay a couple, did you?

Essentially, Aaron said that because Genevieve had packed her bags and tried to leave twice when they’d had disagreements he couldn’t trust her to give him the security he needed, even though he claimed to love her.

But hey, he told her she looked beautiful and he wished her the best.

Genevieve responded with silence, which seemed like the right way to go, but then changed her mind and went back to confront Aaron, accusing him of trying to put all the blame for the breakup on her. And to be fair, it did sound like that, but I also kind of agree with Aaron: what was the point of bringing it up?

Eventually Genevieve left for real. “Third time’s the charm,” she said.

Also, in a callback to their famous itching vs. pain argument, she said: “It doesn’t pain me, but it makes my brain itch. I just wasted my time on a child and that’s a big fact.”

Two other couples agreed not to get engaged but left the beach together: Tyler and Brittany, and Michael and Danielle.

Tyler and Brittany said they loved each other; Michael and Danielle did not.

Michael Allio and Danielle Maltby left Paradise together.

Widower Michael did not definitively say he was ready to love again, but he showed Danielle the compass he’d had made just before his wife died, which he always carries with him, and said, “I can’t help but think this compass brought me to you.” He also said he was excited to introduce Danielle to his son, James, “when the time is right,” and that his late wife, Laura, would have loved Danielle.

So it seemed like a pretty promising exit, except the promo for Tuesday’s finale suggests things didn’t stay promising for Michael and Danielle but, then again, that could just be editing.

But if Michael did dump Danielle after all the special treatment he got this season we’d better not see him on a Bachelor show ever again.

Finally, just two couples were left and headed for fantasy suites: Brandon and Serene, and Victoria and Johnny.

Brandon and Serene, they’ve got this. They’ve been dropping the L-word all over Paradise; they’ve already said they want to spend their lives together. They are obviously the couple that Jesse is talking to in the promo when he tells them they can get married right there on the beach.

“I don’t even have a second thought in my mind that this isn’t gonna work out,” Serene told Brandon in the fantasy suite. Me neither.

As for Victoria and Johnny, like I said, who cares since we already know they’re not going to work out?

In the fantasy suite, Johnny was still shying away from a proposal whereas Victoria still wanted one as badly as ever. But if I was Johnny, I’d be more concerned about the self-loathing he is apparently harbouring.

He told Victoria, “Even just when it comes to looking at myself in a mirror, I just hate everything about me.”

Dude, get some therapy before you put a ring on anything or anyone.

And that’s where we’re at until Tuesday night when it will all be over except for the acrimony at the reunion. Frankly, I would expect nothing less than a shit show after the season we’ve had.

You can watch at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise ends with proposals, despite visit from ex

The cast of “Bachelor in Paradise” with guest host Wells Adams before the couples started
dropping like flies. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

We mostly got the ending we deserved on “Bachelor in Paradise.”

The pandemic-delayed seventh season finished with the two best couples on the beach engaged — along with a third that, let’s admit it, we were all skeptical about — but not before an idiotic bit of production trickery that was a truly lame attempt to inject drama into the overlong finale.

Kendall Long had absolutely no business being on the beach the day her ex, Joe Amabile, got engaged to Serena Pitt. But there she was, walking down the stairs and onto the platform where Joe was waiting for Serena, delivering a gratuitous speech about how she’d come to Paradise to fully let go of Joe, blah, blah, blah, and now she was “really excited” for him and Serena.

“I felt I couldn’t leave this beach without fully expressing that to you,” Kendall said.

Kendall Long has one final, ridiculous talk with Joe Amabile.

Well, she could have and, in fact, had left the beach already. Whether her return was her idea or the producers’ — I’m going with the latter — it was tawdry and ridiculous.

To add insult to injury, after Kendall left, Joe grimaced and walked away from the platform while the newly engaged Kenny and Mari, watching from above, speculated that Kendall’s visit had put Joe off proposing. I’d like to think Joe walked away to collect himself because he was pissed at the producers, but I’m guessing it was all part of the script, the one that was supposed to make us think that Joe and Serena might not end up together.

Here’s the thing: while the drama is certainly part of the Paradise experience, at the end of it all we want love and a promise of marriage. And we got to see some beautiful, touching, tear-inducing moments between Joe and Serena, Kenny and Mari, and Riley and Maurissa as they all confirmed their love for each other, respectively, on their fantasy suite dates.

And then we watched Kenny and Mari, and Riley and Maurissa get engaged. Joe and Serena seemed so head over heels there could be no doubt that they were about to do the same thing, which is why trying to make it look like Joe’s ex was going to come between them was insulting, cynical and pointless.

After eight weeks of villains and triangles and quadrangles and jerks who were only there to jack their social media followings, we deserved to bask in the reflected glow of the couples who made it to the end without a last ditch bit of production nonsense.

Kenny Braasch, Mari Pepin-Solis, Serena Pitt, Joe Amabile, Maurissa Gunn and Riley Christian
celebrate their engagements on the “Bachelor in Paradise” finale

And the episode did not need to be three hours long, especially since it didn’t include an “After the Final Rose” segment. We had to settle for captions on a video recap of the season that told us the three engaged pairs were still together.

And what of the others who coupled up during the season?

We already knew that Noah Erb and Abigail Heringer were breaking up after last week’s episode. The start of this week’s belaboured the point by showing more of Noah’s and Abigail’s teary parting, with each declaring they weren’t each other’s “person.” Except, we found out later that they’ve started seeing each other again and are taking things “slowly.”

At the next night’s rose ceremony, Thomas and Becca, James and Anna, Aaron and Tia, and Ed and Mykenna agreed to stick together (leaving Chelsea and Natasha to go home alone). Since the latter three pairs had been hanging out for mere days, if not hours, it can’t have come as a shock that they all broke up after Dean Unglert and Caelynn Miller-Keyes — yep, they’re what now passes for a Paradise success story — told them the next day that, essentially, they had to shit or get off the pot with fantasy suites happening that night.

Ed seemed to really want that fantasy suite. Mykenna told him three times that she just wasn’t that into him before he finally stopped trying to MacGyver a relationship between them.

Anna went more quickly after James told her her couldn’t see them falling in love. But James didn’t leave alone. He took his bromantic partner Aaron with him — after Aaron perpetrated what might be the speediest breakup in Paradise history.

“I know we’ve hung out the last couple of days,” he told Tia. “It’s been great and I actually care about you, but James is waiting right now. We’re about to bounce.”

Aaron Clancy and James Bonsall, who should have been voted most likely to live happily ever after.

And bounce they did, happily riding off in the same van.

“I love you, bro,” said James.

“Dude, that’s facts. How do I feel about you, bro?” replied Aaron.

“You’re my world, bro,” whispered James.

Apparently, they’re now roommates and BFFs, so whoever says you can’t find love on a “Bachelor” show is misinformed.

And then there were Thomas and Becca. Thomas was gung ho to take their relationship outside Paradise, telling Becca, “When I Iook at you, everything inside me screams I’m falling in love with you.” But Becca said their connection seemed too good to be true and she couldn’t leave with someone she didn’t fully know.

Thomas Jacobs and Becca Kufrin made it past the last rose ceremony but not the fantasy suites.

I know lots of people have accused Thomas of being fake, but he cried what looked to me like real tears after Becca dumped him, begging her in seeming anguish to “Let me go!” when she ran after him for a final hug. According to the end-of-episode montage, Becca later had a change of heart and they’re now dating and in love.

There was nothing left then but for the final three couples to have their fantasy suite dates and lay the groundwork for the next day’s proposals with the requisite voice-overs about potential cold feet.

The highlights include:

Serena telling Joe she was in love with him and Joe mock-protesting “I was gonna say that later. You’re saying that now?” Serena crying happy tears in her confessional explaining how she felt about Joe. And Joe tearing up when he told Serena that the night they said they were falling in love with each other meant more to him “than anything that’s ever happened to me.”

Oh, and Joe telling Serena he was into her smile, her charm, her looks and her “Toronto accent.”

Riley telling Maurissa about a fantasy he’d had since he was 21 of waking up on a Sunday morning with his wife and daughter, then telling Maurissa, “When I see you, I see Sunday morning.” And during the proposal, Riley and Maurissa confessing they’d fallen in love with each other on their first date.

And even with Kenny and Mari there were sweet moments, notwithstanding that at one point this season Kenny was having sex with Demi and dating Tia at the same time. As he said to Mari during his proposal, “We were tested like no other couple in Paradise.” And his hand shook endearingly as he put the Neil Lane ring on Mari’s finger.

When all was said and done, it was a lovely end to the season. If my favourite couple, Joe and Serena, rewatch it, I’d just fast-forward through the bit with Kendall.

There was one other update that seemed to cheer fans on Twitter.

Wannabe influencers Brendan Morais and Pieper James, we were told, “are laying low,” while the woman Brendan strung along, Natasha Parker, “has over 460,000 followers on Instagram.”

As for me, I’ll be back recapping “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” starting next week — it airs Oct. 10 at 8 p.m. on Citytv — and the new season of “The Bachelorette” the week after that.

You can visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

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