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Tag: Bri

3 fantasy suites minus 1 tent equals 2 Bachelor finalists

Matt James ended up with a final two on Monday night and I’m sure you can guess who one of them was. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Here’s a “Bachelor” pop quiz for you about “fantasy suite” week. One woman got a spa day and then a night in a huge luxury suite; another woman got to make pottery with Matt James a la “Ghost” and enjoy a fireworks display from a tastefully appointed room; the other woman got to hike through the chilly woods, pitch a tent, roast marshmallows then spend the night in a small wood-panelled space.

Which one do you think got the short end of the stick . . . with burnt marshmallow attached?

Yes, Bri Springs’ misgivings about being the last one to get a rose two weeks ago proved to be prescient. Matt sent her home, keeping Michelle Young and Rachael Kirkconnell as his final two.

I’ll be honest: I was hoping he’d get rid of Rachael, as unlikely as that seemed.

I mean she whinged, moped and cried throughout much of the episode over the fact Matt was spending “intimate” time with the other two women, so I was hoping she’d melt down and send herself home. It’s what the producers encouraged us to think by showing promo footage two weeks ago of a teary Rachael saying she “can’t do this anymore” and a teary Matt telling Chris Harrison he didn’t know if he could do it anymore either. But guess what? We didn’t see either of those scenes in this episode.

Rachael goes into next week’s finale as the clear favourite to get engaged to Matt and as Matt very eloquently said after Serena Pitt dumped him: “It sucks to hear that.”

Maybe Rachael is a lovely human being; maybe she and Matt are perfectly matched, but she’s tainted as a contestant for many of us because of the controversy over her social media posts, the one that has, for now, cost Harrison his job (although he vows he’ll be back).

There’s also the fact she just seems so young to me, even though at 24 she’s the same age as Bri.

Before Monday’s dates kicked off, there was someone else Matt had to see: his father. In an emotional conversation, Matt and dad Manny both aired their hurts: the fact that Manny hadn’t been there for Matt as a child; the fact Manny’s own father was killed when he was 5; the fact Matt’s mom walked out on Manny over his cheating when Matt and his brother were 2 and 3.

“I remember growing up he’d come around every now and then, drop off some shoes . . . pizza. I didn’t need any shoes, I didn’t need pizza, I needed a dad,” said Matt with tears running down his face in a heart-wrenching confessional.

In the end, Matt and Manny seemed to make their peace, exchanging hugs and I love you’s and saying they wanted to be in each other’s lives.

Matt framed the conversation as one he needed to have to convince himself he wasn’t like his father and could commit to getting married, so I’ll take his word for it. He brought it up on each of his three dates.

Matt and Michelle check out the milk bath, part of their spa day.

Michelle, 27, was first up. She got a “traditional Pennsylvania Dutch spa day,” which involved she and Matt soaking their feet in oatmeal, slathering each other with butter and taking a milk bath. Hey, supposedly it worked for Cleopatra.

Michelle is my favourite — if not to end up with Matt, at least to be the next Bachelorette — because she just seems so worthy: fun-loving but mature, warm and wise.

Take the conversation with Matt in which she talked about the importance not just of falling in love and being in love but of “staying” in love and how you had to plan ways to keep showing your love as life changed it. So smart.

Michelle told Matt she was in love with him. He did not say it back and when she repeated it in the morning his response was “Thank you for sharing that,” which did not inspire confidence considering he’d already told Rachael he was falling for her way before the fantasy suite.

On the other hand, Michelle didn’t have to strap on a heavy backpack and hike through the woods, then put up a tent and sit around a campfire, which is what Bri did. If you thought that tent was going to be Bri’s fantasy suite you’re not alone, but luckily she did get to sleep indoors albeit in a room that was more rustic than swanky.

Why did Bri and Matt have to put up a tent if they weren’t sleeping in it?

Nonetheless, Bri was ecstatic after spending the night with Matt. Like Michelle, she told Matt she loved him and was ready to get engaged. But Matt foreshadowed what was to come in his confessional when he said he could see a life with Bri but also that it was going to be hard sending someone home.

By the time Rachael’s date came around she’d convinced herself she was the one getting dumped. She was supposed to be throwing pottery on a wheel, but instead she was spinning herself into a funk.

I’m going to guess that, given how happy Rachael looks, this was taken after her talk with Matt.

She and Matt left the studio for a chat during which Rachael expressed her fear that Matt’s feelings for her had changed after his dates with Michelle and Bri. Not only did Matt bring up Rachael’s parachute mishap again and how much the thought of losing her had scared him, he said he had fallen in love with her. “I’m completely in love with you,” Rachael responded.

At dinner, Matt was practically bursting with excitement as Rachael told him she was “100 per cent completely ready” to have a life with him.

“Tonight, I’m just thinking about what life would look like with Rachael,” enthused Matt in his voice-over. “She’s smart, beautiful; she’s articulate, she’s sexy and everything she embodies, it’s incredible.”

It sure sounds like a done deal to me. The fireworks outside their window as they passionately kissed were like an exclamation point.

So it was obvious Rachael was getting a rose at the next day’s ceremony. And when Matt handed the first one to Michelle it was clear that Bri was done.

(Rachael is also Harrison’s favourite, it seems. He greeted her before the rose ceremony as Rach and told her it was “so good to see you.”)

Bri left tearfully but told Matt she couldn’t be upset or angry with him. At least we know that Bri’s mother, who promised to help mend her broken heart if things didn’t work out, will have her back. And she’s now free to join the Bachelorette race.

Next week we’ll go through the motions of seeing Matt pretend to choose between Rachael and Michelle. It looks like there’ll be tears all around.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

CLARIFICATION: I edited this Tuesday afternoon after reading a couple of other recaps that said Matt told Rachael he had “fallen” in love with her. I swear I heard him say “falling.” I even played that bit over again to double check, but when I listened again today with the volume cranked way up I did hear the word “fallen,” so yeah, sorry Michelle.

On The Bachelor, Victoria proves she’s the queen . . . of mean

Why does Victoria look so happy talking to Matt? Oh right, she’s throwing somebody under the bus.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

It’s time to abolish the Bachelor monarchy.

I’m not suggesting we go all Oliver Crowell on Victoria’s ass (he’s the fellow who had King Charles I beheaded in 1649), but it would be nice to see this particular “queen” deposed.

This being “The Bachelor,” however, Victoria will be with us a while longer so she can stir up some more crap. She was doing a fine job of that on Monday’s episode.

The drama started early. The first date card had barely been handed out before Victoria was bellyaching about how she was only there to be with Matt, she was sick of the other women (um, hello, after one day?), she wasn’t there to join a sorority and anybody who didn’t share her distaste for time spent with anybody but Matt was either lying or fake. Oh, and she didn’t want to go on a group date because she couldn’t be her “most authentic self.”

Which authentic self is that? The one who said “I literally am a queen”?

And when Victoria did get put on the group date, she warned the other women not to be “negative.” Oh the irony.

Anyway, while all that nonsense was going on, Matt was off on a one-on-one with Bri, the communications manager with whom he bonded on Night 1 over their shared heritage of being biracial and raised by single moms.

Bri’s reward for getting dumped off an ATV was drinks with Matt in a hot tub
and she got to count his abs, and said there were between eight and 60.

Bri survived with just bruises and a butt full of mud after Matt overturned their ATV while doing doughnuts. “Bri’s mom is going to kill me,” he said, which was kind of sweet and funny.

Never fear: there was a hot tub in the woods surrounding the palatial Nemacolin resort for them to clean off, drink Champagne and kiss in. No offence La Quinta, but this feels like a proper Bachelor franchise date.

And on a proper Bachelor date, you have to sing for your supper (whether you eat it or not), or more accurately spill your guts about whatever makes you “vulnerable,” a term that is giving “journey” a run for its money as the franchise’s favourite word. In Bri’s case that meant talking about the fact her mother was 13 (!) when she got pregnant with Bri, about her absentee dad and about the fact her mother was now pregnant again and had a new fiance, so “I don’t feel like I have a home to go to anymore.”

Naturally Bri got the date rose and a chance to kiss Matt some more while fireworks exploded overhead.

The fireworks were not confined to the outdoors. Inside the resort, Victoria was still whinging about how she didn’t want to spend time with the other women (note that nobody was forcing her to sit and complain ad nauseam to the other women) and now she claimed they were insulting her by questioning her view of things. And when Chelsea asked Victoria not to generalize with her accusations, Victoria zeroed in on roommate Marylynn for wanting to, in Victoria’s words, pick her brain and understand her better. Marylynn responded that she was merely suggesting that she and Victoria get to know each other. But Victoria, declaring that Marylynn was “psychologically disturbed, literally,” hauled her bags out of the room and decided to sleep on a couch.

(I had a look at the cast list just now because I wanted to see if Victoria was a lot younger than the other women, but no: she’s 27 and Marylynn is 28, so there goes that theory.)

So the stage was set for what Toronto contestant Alana (hello Canadian girl, I overlooked you last week) said was sure to be a “shit show” of a date. Truth be told, it was more of a paint show.

Eighteen Bachelor “brides,” including Victoria, second from left, on a group date with Matt James.

A whopping 18 women turned up for the group date and were given 10 minutes to put on wedding gowns for a photo shoot with Matt. Victoria butted in out of turn, of course, hauled up her dress to make Matt remove a garter from her thigh and laid a sloppy kiss on him — a little tasteless but on brand, I’d say.

Host Chris Harrison interrupted the photo shoot halfway through to tell the women they’d have to “fight” for Matt and by fight he meant form teams, run around trying to capture stuffed hearts from the opposite team’s goalposts, er, wedding arbours, and pummel them with objects like bouquets dipped in paint.

Here’s what the wedding dresses looked like after the game.

The dresses were shredded and so were the hearts of the losing team. All of them except for Mari, who was named “most valuable bride,” had to walk back to their rooms, leaving the winners to have cocktails with Matt.

So what was Victoria’s big confession during her alone time with Matt? She said she has insecurities and she thought, “Oh, I hope I don’t look fat” while choosing a wedding dress.

“I haven’t been deep with a guy like that in a while,” said Victoria.

Hold that thought; we’ll come back to it. In the meantime, Matt gave the date rose to lawyer Lauren, who told Matt she was looking for “a man of faith” because the key to her parents’ healthy marriage was “to keep God first.” That made Matt happy since the fact he’s a Christian sometimes turns people off, he said.

Moving on: it was Sarah’s turn for a one-on-one, flying over the resort with Matt in a biplane. Matt wasn’t steering, nobody fell out.

Sarah wasn’t ready to tell Matt about her family situation at the start of her date.

Conveniently, as he and Sarah drank Champagne on a couch in the woods, the topic turned to family and how Sarah’s dad felt about her being on “The Bachelor.” If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think Matt already knew about Sarah’s father’s health problems, wouldn’t you?

Sarah didn’t divulge anything right away, but the confession clock was ticking so, over dinner, she told Matt about her dad’s ALS and how she had quit her job as a TV reporter and anchor to be his caregiver.

I have no doubt that would be a hard thing to talk about with somebody you barely know and it’s a damn sight more “deep” than confessing to worrying you’ll look fat in a dress. Yes, I’m talking about you, Victoria.

Matt’s response was very classy. He said he’d pray for Sarah’s father, that he was “honoured” she had made such a big sacrifice to be there with him and asked, “What can I do through this experience to show you I can be somebody you’d want to be with?”

Sarah said, essentially, that he was already doing it. And she got her rose and her kisses.

There was nothing left by then but for Matt to hand out the rest of the roses. The cocktail party was going well. Matt reconnected with favourites like Abigail and Rachael. And when Marylynn expressed doubt about whether Matt really wanted her there since she hadn’t been on a date, he pulled out an orchid from behind the couch, which he (or somebody, anyway) had remembered was her favourite flower.

Poor Marylynn with Matt before Victoria threw her under the bus.

And then it all went to hell when Marylynn showed the other women her orchid. You could see the malevolent wheels turning in Victoria’s head. After blathering on to a producer about Marylynn’s “toxic energy,” Victoria trotted off to tell Matt that she could no longer sleep in her room because Marylynn was so toxic and manipulative.

I mean, it’s utter bullshit obviously. There’s only one person in the group so far who seems toxic and manipulative and that’s Victoria. But Matt dutifully went to Marylynn with Victoria’s allegations and all she could do was tell him none of it was true and hope that he believed her. Then Matt disappeared without talking to anymore of the women, saying he had a lot to think about.

Marylynn tried to clear the air with Victoria, hoping they could come to an understanding, but Victoria wouldn’t even allow Marylynn to sit next to her on the couch. She walked away saying that Marylynn was “too much for me” and then had the nerve to call Marylynn “crazy.” I don’t like to call other women names, but there’s a word that come to mind for behaviour like that and it rhymes with “itch.”

Anyway, Matt came back to hand out roses and had given away nine of them when Sarah, who earlier described herself as feeling “overwhelmed” by the Victoria drama, wobbled off the dais and, with the help of Bri, sank to the floor behind a couch. “I’m blacking out, I can’t see,” she told the medic who was called over as Matt hovered.

And then it was “To be continued.”

Clearly Victoria is going to get a rose because the promo for next week shows her getting into disputes with other women and she’s not wearing her cocktail party dress. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,” she tells Katie.

Off with her figurative — as opposed to her literal — head, I say.

You can watch all the drama on Citytv next Monday at 8 p.m. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

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