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Tag: Chris S

Nayte gets one-on-one, Chris S gets bum’s rush on Bachelorette

Did the producers have it in for Chris Sutton, fifth from right? He had the most ridiculous
costume on a Viking-themed group date. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Has there ever been a more perfect visual metaphor than Chris S dressed as a horse’s ass on Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette”?

I’m hard pressed to think of one considering Chris spent his portion of the episode acting like a posterior.

Let’s review. Last week, Chris disrupted the cocktail party by telling Michelle Young that some guys, i.e. Nayte, thought they had it “in the bag,” primarily because Nayte commented that it wasn’t a question of if he got a one-on-one date but when.

Well, duh, Nayte was right: the first impression rose winner got Tuesday’s second one-on-one (Michelle’s fellow Minnesotan, Joe Coleman, got the first, more on that later).

The minute Chris realized that Nayte wasn’t on the group date card, he looked like he’d swallowed a lemon.

“I went out on a limb for her and told her the honest truth, which is what she wanted to hear and asked from everyone else in the house,” he told the producer-enabler on the other side of the camera, self-righteously tapping out his points with one of his fingers.

“Everything I said fell on deaf ears. The way things played out I feel like I got the short end of the stick.”

Well, he definitely got an end on the group date.

Chris, Casey, Rodney, Martin, Leroy, Rick, Clayton, Olu and Brandon met Michelle at the home of the Minnesota Vikings football team — yes, the group had relocated from Palm Springs to Michelle’s hometown of Minneapolis — where instead of the NFL Vikings they met three older dudes dressed up as ancient Vikings.

The date participants had to put on costumes and do things like yell really loudly, throw logs, eat disgusting fermented herring and arm wrestle. But all the guys except Chris got to dress more or less like Vikings; Chris, the least physically imposing man in the bunch, wore horse’s legs and hoofs with an inflatable horse rear end.

Chris Sutton in a tug of war with Casey Woods. Go ahead, try not to laugh at that silly image.

I’m thinking either the producers were having a laugh at Chris’s expense or trying to compound his humiliation so he’d go off the deep end. Having him arm wrestle the absolutely ripped Olu undoubtedly helped with that mission.

By the time the group segued to the after-party at the historic Semple Mansion, Chris was in full brood mode over the fact he didn’t get the one-on-one despite all the “good information” he’d given Michelle about Nayte. And he claimed he really wanted to talk to her about that but made no attempt to do so.

This was no doubt all part of the evil production plan, although Chris mouthed the word “Wow” when Michelle announced she was wrapping up the party despite not having spoken to Chris. (Clayton, who’d hulked his way into being declared a “true Viking” earlier in the day, got the date rose for telling Michelle about his admiration for his parents. As you know, Michelle is really into parents.)

Absurdly, despite having had a whole evening when he could have grabbed a few minutes of Michelle’s time, Chris decided to wait until the next day and interrupt her date with Nayte to say his piece.

Well, perhaps decided is the wrong word. He couldn’t have known where Michelle and Nayte were having dinner without production being on side, so whether he was goaded into living out his white saviour fantasy or was following a villain script (he is reportedly an aspiring actor) it obviously wasn’t entirely his idea.

Michelle and Nayte had been having a pretty deep discussion, with Michelle telling Nayte about a past relationship that was so toxic she couldn’t eat and thought she had a disease. They had just shared a kiss when Michelle looked over Nayte’s shoulder with a WTF expression on her face as Chris walked up to the table.

She agreed to step outside with Chris, who basically told her he was pissed she’d chosen Nayte over him, although he didn’t put it exactly like that.

“I came here to say I warned you and I don’t want you to make the wrong decision,” i.e. give a rose to Nayte, Chris told her.

With eloquence and far more patience than Chris deserved, Michelle told him she could make her own decisions.

“I do appreciate you wanting to look out for me but also, at the same time, I can speak for myself,” Michelle said. “And I want a man who’s going to stand and support me when I speak and not a man who’s going to speak for me.”

Also, “as a female of colour there’s a lot of situations where people speak for me and my voice isn’t heard.”

She made herself heard in this case. Telling Chris she didn’t see their “relationship” progressing, Michelle walked him as far as the top of the escalator and then returned to give Nayte the date rose, saying their chemistry “is undeniable, unlike anything that I’ve ever felt before.”

“I’m very crazy about Nayte,” Michelle said, adding that he was starting to feel like her person.

Nayte Olukoya cemented his frontrunner status after his date with Michelle.

Besides, Nayte had already been approved by people with way more cred than Chris: Michelle’s two best friends. They joined Michelle and Nayte earlier in the day on a boat ride on Lake Minnetonka (note: Michelle, as she has all season, did the driving) and asked him allegedly hard questions. The first question was clearly a plant from production: “Is there anyone here that you think could be here for the wrong reasons?”

That gave Nayte an opening to talk about Chris S and explain that he didn’t really think he had it in the bag; he was just confident because he knew “there’s something going on” with Michelle.

Michelle’s friends clearly agreed, gushing about Michelle’s and Nayte’s “amazing natural chemistry.”

“I love the way you guys look at each other,” said Allie.

Let’s backtrack a bit and talk about Joe, the season’s other frontrunner.

For their date, Michelle took him on a walk down memory lane — after they’d stopped by a Minnesota Twins game where she threw out the first pitch and kissed Joe for the Jumbotron — visiting her old high school, where they smooched while towering over her old locker, admired her photo in the trophy case and played one-on-one basketball in the gym (yeah, she beat him; in a dress, she pointed out).

“I feel like Joe would have been my crush in high school,” Michelle said.

The main event came over dinner where Joe told Michelle how a college football injury had led to a couple of operations, getting seven screws and a plate in his left foot, and anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide when he couldn’t perform the same way on the basketball court and had to eventually quit the sport.

Michelle and Joe both shed tears.

“You give up so much for the sport that you love. To have something take you out of it before you’re ready to be taken out of it is a pain like not everyone will understand,” said Michelle, herself a former college basketball player.

Naturally Michelle gave Joe the date rose, saying her feelings for him had grown tremendously.

They finished the night with a smoochy Ferris wheel ride.

Joe Coleman was rewarded with a rose for opening up to Michelle on their date.

There were three roses already spoken for and five to give out going into the rose ceremony — yes, if you’re keeping track, we’re five for five in the rose ceremony to episode ratio.

The only thing you really need to know is that Martin had another bout of foot-in-mouth disease that I thought for sure was going to get his butt sent home.

First, he mentioned hearing Michelle give compliments to other men and wondering if she meant the ones she gave him.

“Do you think I would blow smoke up your ass?” asked Michelle. Uh, no.

Then Martin started yapping about women in Miami being high maintenance for allegedly expecting men to do everything for them.

Men, he said, don’t usually “go into a relationship saying ‘Hey, you’re gonna take care of me,'” which made Michelle laugh.

Excuse me, Martin, do you know any men?

And, then as the realization dawned that he was digging himself a hole, Martin told Michelle he knew she was different. Not exactly a convincing recovery.

Alas, he collected a rose along with Rick, Olu, Brandon and Rodney. Casey and Leroy went home.

I’m not entirely sure what next week will bring since the promo was about the rest of the season, but it looks like the other guys aren’t done targeting Nayte. Leave the Canadian guy alone, eh?

You can tune in next Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Chris S steps up as the new villain on The Bachelorette

Michelle Young took 12 of the men on a slumber party group date, but they ended up sleeping on her. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Michelle Young wasn’t the only one who didn’t feel seen on Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette.”

Apparently, Chris Sutton — who, let’s be honest, we haven’t paid attention to since his intro package in the season premiere — was missing his “look at me” moment. He rectified that with a self-serving speech at the cocktail party about how some of the other men thought they “have it in the bag” — it presumably meaning Michelle — and weren’t putting in the effort she deserves. And then he tried to throw Nayte Olukoya, one of the front-runners, under the bus.

Hey, Chris, we see you now, but it’s not a good look.

Chris actually said in his confessional: “I came in on my white horse and I saved her from the castle that she’s been stuck in.” First off, what the hell does that even mean? Second, I can’t think of anyone who needs saving less than Michelle, especially not by the likes of Chris.

I concur with Nayte: “What a dweeb.”

Alas, Chris S was still around after the rose ceremony. Michelle has done such a good job of weeding out the dudes who are there to cause drama: first Ryan, then Jamie and Peter. But Chris S got to stay. Maybe production asked her to stop dumping the trouble-makers? I don’t know.

Speaking of Jamie, Michelle’s first date was with Martin, who was described as being “very close” to Jamie, so the date narrative was whether Michelle could trust Martin.

Michelle and Martin Gelbspan hung out at the BMW Performance Center.

Personally, I’m not sure I’d trust a guy who tears the sleeves off his shirt, but that’s just me. Things seemed to go fine as Martin and Michelle spun around, literally, in BMW M3s at the BMW Performance Center near Palm Springs. Michelle outdrove Martin and that shouldn’t surprise you.

Martin started to skid when he and Michelle got into a tub to cool off with some champagne and Martin said he didn’t think Jamie was a bad person: “I still think he’s a hell of a man.” Michelle figured Martin was questioning her decision to send Jamie home. So was Martin next?

He course-corrected at dinner at the Rancho Mirage Observatory, explaining that he hadn’t learned how to express emotions growing up and was still working on his communication skills. I’m not sure what any of that had to do with his opinion of Jamie, but Michelle gave him the date rose.

It was on to the group date on which 12 of the men — Will, Chris S, Casey, Chris G, Leroy, Rodney, Olu, Brandon, Clayton, Joe, Romeo and Nayte — got to “surrender to love” by putting on PJs and attending a slumber party complete with cotton candy, popcorn, an ice cream sundae bar, mini spa treatments and giant teddy bears.

Michelle said it was all about “bonding and quality time,” but she didn’t count on the men being more interested in bonding with each other than with her.

By the time WWE stars the Bella Twins showed up to supervise the Ultimate Teddy Bear Takedown — in which the men beat the stuffing out of each other with their bears — Michelle was pissed.

The WWE’s Bella Twins helped the men turn their teddy bears from cuddly to cudgels.

She was so annoyed I’m not sure she took the time to appreciate the absurdity of pairing Brandon, who looks shall we say a little boyish, with Olumide, who Clayton said “looks like he ate three of Brandon for breakfast.” I mean, come on, we watched Olu do an exercise that looked like a pushup combined with a jumping jack.

Hosts Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe nearly fell off the couch when Olu took his shirt off. Brandon’s strategy of trying to dance out of reach could only work so long against that type of brawn.

So Olu’s team, which included Clayton, Casey, Romeo, Leroy and Nayte, won after-party time with Michelle. They were so busy jumping up and down together and playing with the streamers that fell from the ceiling they didn’t notice when Michelle left the building for a heart to heart with Kaitlyn.

Michelle explained that having the guys ignore her took her back emotionally to high school, when she was the “token black girl” who didn’t get asked out on dates. “I wasn’t seen,” said Michelle.

“I’m frustrated and hurt,” she added, struggling to hold back her tears. “In this situation I felt like one thing I wasn’t gonna have to worry about was not being seen.”

Totally makes sense to me, as it did to the chastened men at the after-party.

It resonated especially with Olu, who teared up as he told Michelle that everything she said about feeling isolated as a Black woman reminded him of his four sisters and “me being that male figure in my sisters’ life, having to uplift them, tell them that (they’re) beautiful, you can do anything, the right guy will come to your life.”

It was a genuine moment, one that Michelle especially appreciated because of Olu showing emotion as a Black man. For the date rose to go to anybody but him would have been ridiculous.

(And on the topic of ridiculous, I’m with everyone else who’s commenting about the absurdity of Clayton apparently being chosen as the next Bachelor before Michelle’s season even aired. No offence to Clayton, but I’ve seen nothing to suggest he won’t be just another boring white dude in the lead. Olu deserved to be considered.)

Michelle said she got what she needed from the men, that things were back on track.

Then, for a palate cleanser, she went on a one-on-one with Rick that involved taking the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway to Mount San Jacinto State Park, where they walked around taking in the view and smelling trees.

And oh look, there’s a “wish box,” with instructions to read all the wishes inside before writing and leaving your own. What a coincidence that the first two were about finding “my soulmate” and “a love like my grandparents had,” and the third was “I wish my dad could see the man I’ve become.” Because it turns out Rick has some serious father issues. So good job whichever producer got rid of all the real wishes and put in the fake ones.

Michelle’s and Rick’s wish was “We wish to find love by having the hard conversations,” which sounds less like a wish than a decree for every single dinner portion of a one-on-one date.

And so, during dinner, they got down to it. Essentially, when Rick was 17 he found a text from another woman on his dad’s phone, told his mom about it and his parents split up three days after Christmas. Rick talked about his dad being depressed for about 10 years and calling Rick one day when he was at work and too busy to talk. After Rick called back later, his dad texted “I’m just trying to catch my breath” and was then found dead by a friend, which happened three years ago.

His father died “still blaming me because I blew a whistle unfortunately,” Rick said.

That is heavy stuff that Michelle would have to hear eventually, but planting a note so Rick would talk about it on camera definitely feels skeevy.

Nonetheless, Rick regained his good cheer, told Michelle he felt like he was falling in love with her and accepted the date rose, which she presented to her “little lettuce wrap,” a callback to his Night 1 silver platter getup.

Michelle and Rick Leach enjoy a private performance by Andy Grammer.

And then they got to dance and smooch to a musical artist that people have actually heard of — and not a country one at that — Andy Grammer.

Onward to the rose ceremony — and can I just point out we’re four for four as far as episodes ending with rose ceremonies? Wow.

After Chris S made his silly speech and then rudely butted in front of Brandon for alone time with Michelle, he served up Nayte as an example of one of the men who thought they had it in the bag, recounting Nayte’s comments after the group date card arrived.

OK, yes, Nayte did say, “I’m not stressing about when I get a one-on-one date. All I know is a one-on-one is coming. If it’s not today it’s gonna be another time.” And yes, perhaps he should have said that in his inside voice, but he’s right! He’s the first impression rose winner and likely headed to the finale (and no I haven’t read the spoilers, I don’t give a crap about them) so duh, of course he’s getting a one-on-one.

Does that equate to thinking he has “it in the bag”? I don’t think so.

Nayte was understandably perturbed when his alone time with Michelle was consumed with what Chris had said about him and her warning him that “I’m not this massive prize at the end of this.”

So Nayte confronted Chris and they had a loud, angry conversation, during which Chris S lied and said he gave up Nayte’s name because Michelle asked him for the facts.

Chris Sutton, who will heretofore be down as the Dweeb, doing his best to impress Michelle.

Dude! As if she could get a word in edgewise during your monologue when you were too busy trying to make yourself look good.

Chris also got into it with Olu, who suggested Chris might not get a rose because of “the shit you just pulled.”

Chris laughed to himself, boasting about how all the men hated him and when he got his rose he was going to say, “This one’s for you Olu and then I’m gonna wink at him.” And I don’t believe in violence, but I really, really felt like reaching through the TV screen and slapping the smirk off his face.

Perhaps for an aspiring actor like Chris, it’s better to be a villain than just another guy who’s destined to be group date fodder. Did ABC offer him a speaking role on a show or something?

Anyway, Chris S did indeed get a rose along with Brandon, Leroy, Joe, Rodney, Clayton, Casey and Nayte. Chris G, Will and Romeo got jettisoned.

Next week, Chris S moans about Michelle’s “infatuation” with Nayte; there’s a one-on-one with Joe; Michelle spends quality time with Nayte, and tells some unlucky fellow or fellows “Our relationship isn’t progressing forward” and “I can’t do this anymore.” Fingers crossed those words are directed at Chris.

You can tune in next Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

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