Clare who?
Tayshia Adams began her reign Tuesday as the ABC franchise’s 17th Bachelorette — or should that be 16A? — and she was off to a generally stellar beginning.
If I can borrow a phrase from the man who has rocketed to the top of my villain list, Tayshia scored some “W’s.”
Except for one fellow — more on him later — the men left behind when Clare Crawley abruptly departed with new fiance Dale Moss were eager to switch their romantic aspirations to Tayshia and why wouldn’t they be? She came in like a ray of sunshine, announcing, “I’m Tayshia and I’m here for all of you.”
And damned if she didn’t back up those words with actions. When four new guys (who were reportedly alternates from Clare’s original group) were parachuted in — a nasty little trick by the producers to stir up crap with the 16 Clare castoffs — Tayshia cancelled the rose ceremony rather than make the original dudes feel worse by sending some of them home right away.
She seemed genuinely keen to learn as much as she could about as many of the men as she could. She even got me to look twice at a couple of guys who had flown completely under my radar, Zac and Brendan. And instead of making the losers in a group date competition forfeit any additional time with her, as usually happens, she let them return for the after-party.
So yes, Tayshia seems like an all-around class act, except . . . can we talk about the first impression rose recipient?
She gave it to one of the new guys, Spencer, a 30-year-old water treatment engineer from San Diego.
My first impression? He’s a tool, a pretty tool perhaps (Tayshia described him as “hot, hot, hot, hot”), but a tool nonetheless.
After meeting Tayshia, Spencer greeted the 16 OGs, already rattled that a limo with who knows how many extra men had just pulled up, by asking, “So which one of you guys scared away Clare?” Ballsy maybe, also kind of a dick move.
Another red flag? His aggression during the group date splash ball game. It wasn’t Luke Parker body-slamming Luke Stone level physicality, but it exposed a certain preoccupation with winning — and cost him a bloody lip when Riley elbowed Spencer to get him off his back, connecting with Spencer’s mouth.
Spencer seemed nonplussed about the injury, although he managed to milk it for attention from Tayshia. After his team won the game, he said he was looking forward to more victories, particularly the group date rose, “the ultimate W.”
“I have a good reading on Tayshia, I’m feeling pretty confident in myself and I’ve got this in the bag,” Spencer declared, this after telling the other men that Tayshia was “the primary objective.”
Maybe it’s just Spencer getting the villain edit, but his comments were real clangers compared to the words of, say, Eazy, who talked about Tayshia making him feel smiley and giddy.
And no, Spencer didn’t get the “W.” The date rose went to Eazy, thank goodness.
In between the group date and Tayshia’s one-on-one with Brendan, there was a man overboard.
Jason confessed that he still had feelings for Clare and had to leave. And before you scoff, just remember that Dale ended up engaged to Clare after just two weeks, so who are we to say that Jason’s therapy one-on-one wasn’t a game-changer for him?
Tayshia was a bit less gracious about Jason’s departure than I would have expected, telling him she was sad that he was making one of her fears come true: that some of the guys would still be hung up on Clare. Given the rave reviews Tayshia had been getting up to that point it seemed like a pretty groundless fear — or perhaps just a little made-for-TV drama.
Tayshia’s spirits were restored by her one-on-one with Brendan, who told her she was more his type than Clare “in every single way.”
The limitations of being confined to La Quinta Resort for dates were comically exemplified by host Chris Harrison using a scooter to constantly intercept Tayshia and Brendan as they rode horses around the grounds, offering them margaritas, ice cream and coconut water. All Brendan wanted to do was kiss Tayshia, so he wasn’t digging the interruptions. He finally got his chance when he and Tayshia ditched the horses for a dip in the pool. Luckily, Harrison didn’t pop up like a Loch Ness TV host or something.
At dinner, Brendan and Tayshia bonded over the fact they had both married young and then divorced. Brendan explained that he’d fallen out of love with his high school sweetheart, particularly after learning she didn’t want children. Tayshia, whose college sweetheart spouse had cheated on her, was down with having kids; in fact, she said she wants five (!).
“I think I could marry him,” said Tayshia of Brendan. They ended the date with some very smoochy fireworks viewing.
That’s as far as we got in Tayshia’s “journey” since a chunk of the episode was eaten up by a Clare and Dale “tell-all.”
What did they tell? Nothing particularly new or startling. They were still in love, still engaged. Clare cried — I know, shocker — talking about her late father and how he would be “so over the moon for me.” Asked by Harrison what’s next, Clare yelled, “Babies!” while Dale said they’d get married first, although I wouldn’t try to get between a 39-year-old woman and her biological clock if I was him.
The main point of the exercise seemed to be a chance for Harrison to confront the pair about whether they had communicated before they met on the show — because apparently it’s difficult for people to grasp the whole love at first sight thing.
Clare repeated what she’d already said: that she followed Dale on social media (along with some of the other men) and liked what she saw, but they never spoke, texted or otherwise made any contact, “on my dad’s grave.” Dale said the same. So yeah, I think that’s a no.
“I just wish people could be happy for me,” said Clare.
“Whether it took one day or 10 days, or two weeks or two years, this man makes me happy.”
Works for me.
Next week, it looks like the toxic masculinity is getting dialled up. There’s a wrestling date, there are medics called, new guy Noah does something that pisses everybody off, and Chasen and Ed get surly with each other. Oh and Wells Adams makes a guest appearance, but I’m not calling him toxic.
“The Bachelorette” airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? Come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo
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