PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC
Fake orgasms that would do Meg Ryan proud; not one but two men sneaking around to visit Tayshia (and, um, Chris Harrison); a pillow fight and a game of Twister; and even a serious conversation about Black Lives Matter — there was a lot going on in Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette,” like. A. Lot.
At times it was almost as if other reality shows had insinuated themselves into the proceedings. The group date contestants drinking smoothies with disgusting lists of ingredients like chicken feet and cow intestines made me think a bit of “Survivor.” When Ben and Ed both set off to visit Tayshia in her suite, it was like watching two teams head for the Pit Stop at the end of an “Amazing Race” episode, not knowing which would get there first.
And when Ed got lost and ended up in host Chris Harrison’s suite instead it was the best thing ever.
Whether or not Tayshia Adams is further along in her quest to get hitched, we viewers are further along in our journey to fall in love with the show again after the season’s weird and frustrating start.
We ended the night with a classic bit of franchise drama when Noah claimed the other men were questioning Tayshia’s integrity, which got Tayshia so riled up she gave them a dressing down and cancelled the rest of the cocktail party, which then led to even more shade being thrown at Noah. Good times.
It all started off innocently enough. Eight of the 16 men who were left had to write and perform love songs for Tayshia. None of them could sing — or rap, for that matter.
Bennett worked his Harvard degree into his verses, of course; Blake played, and I use that word loosely, an accordion and a mandolin; Demar whipped up a little ditty he called “Mocha Latte”; but it was Ivan who took it home by inviting Tayshia up on the makeshift stage for his sentimental “rap.”
Ivan won the prize, a night in Tayshia’s suite, and it was the most pandemic-friendly date we’ve seen all season. Tayshia wore sweatpants; they ordered in room service; they played “the floor is lava” and Twister and went barefoot lawn bowling and had a pillow fight.
Things got serious when Ivan and Tayshia started talking about their families. He revealed, tears running down his cheeks, that his younger brother had spent four years in jail and gone through “some really dark times,” including getting beaten up by prison guards.
“Especially with George Floyd and that’s police brutality, and that’s something that really hit home for me,” Ivan said, referring to the Black man killed by a white police officer in Minneapolis in May, whose death kicked off worldwide Black Lives Matter protests.
Tayshia got so emotional thinking about the subject she couldn’t speak.
“I don’t know why it does so much but it’s like, it hurts a lot,” she said when she regained her voice.
They also talked about what it was like to grow up being mixed race, surrounded by people who didn’t look like them, and how inspirational it was to see so many people come together for the Black Lives Matter movement.
“We’re both biracial, have Black dads and have this beautiful love story developing. This is so big,” Ivan said.
It was no wonder that by the end of the date Tayshia described Ivan as really special. “He understands me more than anybody else can.”
It was a rare, refreshing dose of reality, as opposed to reality TV.
But then a new day dawned and a new group date, and it was back to silliness.
Six of the men played “Tayshia’s Truth or Dare” overseen by her friends, former “Bachelorette” Becca Kufrin and former “Bachelor” contestant Sydney Lotuaco.
The first part of it was all dares: chugging the aforementioned gross smoothies; interrupting Harrison at his lunch of crab legs and Veuve Clicquot to get him to sign their butt cheeks; eating habanero peppers and “proposing” to Tayshia, but the best — or worst, depending on your point of view — was faking orgasms over a loudspeaker so the rest of the resort could hear.
Think Meg Ryan from “When Harry Met Sally,” but louder and lewder. “I would direct him to the ER if I heard that,” quipped Becca after Kenny’s turn, which included the well known erotic phrase “Back up, back up.”
“Wow, he’s flexible, he’s bendy,” Becca said after Blake threw his leg up on a dais in the throes of fake passion.
Bennett, whom I’ve regarded as mainly comic relief up to this point, got carried away with the faux proposal. “Today was incredibly real in my mind and in my heart,” he said. “It’s the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever been a part of.”
Tayshia seemed to get closer to all six men, including Riley and Demar, on the evening or “truth” part of the date, but none more so than Zac, if by getting closer you mean making out in a hot tub. Zac got the date rose.
And then it was time for Ben and Ed’s Excellent Adventure.
You’ll recall that on last week‘s group date, the one that Noah crashed, Ben didn’t get to talk to Tayshia because he waited too long and ran out of time. Still brooding over that — and with Harrison’s advice that “Tayshia likes bold” to guide him — Ben went on a “secret mission” to Tayshia’s room.
And wouldn’t you know that Ed had the same bright idea, so we saw them both skulking through the resort on their way to Tayshia’s suite. It looked like Ed had beat Ben there; he knocked on the door, it opened . . . and there was Harrison in a sweatsuit saying, “It’s 2:30 in the morning. What are you doing?”
What Ed was doing was drinking red wine with Chris while Ben kissed and made up with Tayshia. Harrison eventually sent Ed on his way with directions. There was a knock on Tayshia’s door mid-smooch with Ben. Was it Ed? Nope, just a guy delivering champagne and strawberries. Ed never did find Tayshia’s suite, but he wasn’t too upset about it, describing his chat with Chris as “a great consolation.”
By the time rose ceremony day rolled around, Ed was back to doing what he does best: complaining about other guys. This time it was Noah, whom Ed said was “a joke” and not there for the right reasons, blah, blah, blah. Bennett said Noah was too “juvenile” to end up with Tayshia.
That set the stage for Noah to whine to Tayshia about the heat he was getting from the other men over his fence-jumping, group date-crashing, moustache-shaving behaviour. “It’s been implied you gave me the rose just to shake things up,” Noah said, which was basically like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
To Tayshia, it went from the men taunting Noah because they think he’s a jerk — which seems pretty accurate — to the men questioning her integrity. She marched them all into a room and told them, “If you guys think that I’m just trying to start drama in the house for no reason, simply because I have a connection with some people, y’all need to grow up. If you’re gonna be questioning me, like, I’ll gladly walk you outside.” And that was the end of the cocktail party.
Noah fessed up that he was the reason for Tayshia’s bad mood and guess what? That just annoyed the other guys even more. “You ruined Tayshia’s night for your own glory,” Bennett said. More likely, he had some coaching from a helpful producer.
When rose time came, Ben, Eazy, Riley, Brendan, Bennett, Blake, Demar and Spencer all got roses along with Ed, leaving Kenny, Chasen, Jordan and Joe out in the cold.
Why did Tayshia give Ed a rose over nice, non-drama-causing Joe? No offence to her integrity, but I think I just answered my own question.
Next week, the animosity between Bennett and Noah ramps up, and Tayshia is not impressed.
“The Bachelorette” airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? Come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo
Recent Comments