and Angela Amezcua and Brendan Morgan. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos courtesy of Citytv
Beware the quiet ones.
When three new women infiltrated Camp Paradise on Sunday’s “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” it wasn’t the two more aggressive ladies who caused the most disruption; it was the “really nice girl.”
There are now five more women than men on the beach — a bit of overkill, no, “Bachelor in Paradise Canada”?
And the three newbies all had date cards, but only one of the dates threatened the established order. More on that later.
As the episode opened, the campers discussed the flirtations of the night before (which you can read about here) and Nicole, one of last week’s newcomers, lamented that the people who were coupled up — essentially everyone but her and fellow new arrival Bianka — seemed unlikely to “budge.”
Bianka, who as a “Bachelor Canada” winner was kind of a marquee attraction when the cast was first announced, has had hardly any screen time and appeared to not even be trying to kindle any romantic sparks.
But that state of affairs didn’t deter Halifax fan contestant Sasanet, a.k.a. Sasa, who declared “Everyone’s gonna be obsessed with me” and who, in Brendan M’s words, wasn’t afraid to step on toes. She figured every man was fair game until they were engaged.
So she chose “beautiful man” Mike for her date and Mike got to show off the physique she so admired on a slip and slide, even pulling Sasa along the slide at one point using just his brawny arms — “like Thor,” she said — as she held onto his ankles.
“Was he as good as Thor? No, but he met my expectations,” Sasa quipped.
Alas, it would have taken all of the Avengers to pull something resembling a decent conversation out of Mike and Sasa. That expression that opposites attract? Not in this case.
City girl Sasa made it clear she preferred a walk in the mall to hiking and when Mike asked her if she liked hardcore metal music, she replied, “Absolutely not, it stresses me out.”
Mike couldn’t wait to return to Stacy. “I’m very thrilled to be coming home to you,” he told her.
In the meantime, host Jesse Jones had announced the “Camp Paradise Bonfire,” which involved the campers sitting around a bonfire and asking each other anonymous questions that had been dropped into a box.
Mike got asked, “Why didn’t you tell Stacy about your interest in Caitlin before the rose ceremony?” His lame answer: he couldn’t find Caitlin to talk to for a week, which I guess is better than “I waited because production told me to.”
And then for Kamil: “Do you not realize all the girls notice you checking them out or do you just not care?”
Kamil hemmed and hawed and then settled on, “I didn’t think I was checking them out, but if that’s the case I guess I’ll admit to it. There’s a lot of beautiful people here in Paradise.”
Finally, Joey not so anonymously had a question for Vay: “Are you falling in love with Joey because I’m falling in love with you.”
Vay said she was definitely getting there although she needed more time because of her trust issues and that made Joey’s heart warm.
You want to know whose heart wasn’t warm? Caitlin’s.
She was brooding over Kamil’s admission to checking people out.
“I want somebody who’s got eyes just for me, like not on everyone else,” she told Kamil.
Kamil was annoyed but apologized, but only for the way he answered the question, which Caitlin called “lacklustre.”
That wasn’t the end of the discussion. Mike and Stacy told Kamil and Caitlin the reason they were being “targeted” by other people was because they spent so much time apart from the rest of the group.
Mike suggested Kamil go on other dates, like Mike had, to be sure his relationship with Caitlin was a “10 out of 10.”
Kamil disagreed. “Once you find something special in life I feel like you should keep it close,” he retorted, adding that he’d be happy to leave Paradise right then and there with Caitlin and make it work in the real world.
“That sounds like love to me. Would you say then you’re in love?” Mike asked.
Neither was willing to fess up to that.
It didn’t end there because the next day Kamil chastised Caitlin for not having his back and making a “big deal” over his checking people out comment. “I don’t feel I need to reassure you all the time,” Kamil said. Caitlin was aghast and said in her confessional she felt like she was being gaslit.
I think Mike’s right. One of these two should go on a date with a different person.
Onwards! A new day brought a new arrival: fan contestant Iva from Calgary.
Iva described herself as “aggressive in my pursuit.” Even “I got shade for days” Joey called her “blunt” for the way she fired questions at the men.
But Josh found her “spicy” and agreed to go on a date. His current romantic interest, Lisa, kind of took it in stride, calling Josh “the Bachelor in Paradise.”
As for the date, it was all fun and games when it came to flying on a trapeze; less so when Iva demanded that Josh dump Lisa. “You make out with her I’ll fucking throw you in the lake,” Iva said. Well, all righty then.
Iva’s demand might have carried more weight if Josh had enjoyed making out with her. But when a producer asked Josh about his kiss with Iva, he kind of grimaced and diplomatically declared himself “undecided.”
Josh told Lisa all about the ultimatum when he came back to the beach. “Does that mean me and her are gonna have a problem?” asked Lisa. “I am the last person somebody wants a problem with. I’m small, but I’m mighty.”
Speaking of problems, Angela definitely had one.
The third new arrival was Maria, a Colombian-born, Toronto-raised designer who described herself as having Canadian “niceness” and Colombian “spice.”
To Joey, she was “a sweetheart of a girl,” someone he’d worked with in Toronto and gone on one unsuccessful date with. But as he gave Maria the lay of the Paradise land, Joey made it clear he had a deep connection with Vay — which didn’t make Vay any less jealous of the time Joey spent with Maria or the way he talked about her.
Guy after guy politely blew Maria off, letting her know they were taken — all except Brendan M. Brendan told Maria he was “definitely open” to “meeting new people and seeing if there’s possibility there.”
Uh oh.
When Brendan agreed to Maria’s date, he justified it by saying he and Angela had talked “in the past” about allowing each other to go on dates with new people, but the operative word was “past” — Angela clearly thought that kind of deal was behind them.
Angela summoned Brendan for a chat — the conversation they should have had before he agreed to go with Maria because tossing “All right?” over your shoulder as you walk away with someone else doesn’t really count. Brendan said he wanted Angela to just focus on what they had but also to give him the “respect” to go on this date.
Basically, he was unsympathetic to her distress, leaving her with a non-committal “Chat with you later,” not even a hug or a peck on the cheek.
Cold, dude, cold.
He was all smiles when he and Maria met up to strip down to white bathing suits and throw paint on a drop sheet and each other, eventually rubbing it on each other’s bodies.
Still, Brendan hadn’t completely forgotten about Angela. As he and Maria shared drinks by a cosy fire, Brendan admitted he really wanted to kiss her but refrained because he didn’t want to disrespect Angela.
Bad news, Brendan, the “disrespect” horse bolted before you shut your lips, er, the barn door.
Angela was back at the beach, telling her besties Illeana and Caitlin she wasn’t sure she could completely trust Brendan anymore.
And then Brendan dropped the equivalent of a cow patty on the whole situation by returning from his date, spotting Angela with her friends and manoeuvring Maria over to a beach bed instead of talking to Angela.
Hey Brendan, I think we’ve solved the mystery of why you’re not in a committed relationship yet. You clearly have no idea how to commit!
Next week, it looks like neither Angela nor Maria is happy with Brendan M. There’s more tension between Joey and Vay over Maria. Iva continues her dogged pursuit of not only Josh but Mike. And is that Kevin Wendt’s lovely fiancee, Astrid Loch, helping him introduce the “Camp Paradise Twisted Talent Show”?
You can tune in next Sunday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And don’t forget “Bachelor After Show: After Paradise” at 9:30 p.m. If you want to talk Paradise with me you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo
Edited to correct the spelling of Sasa.
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