Tag: Pieper

Matt James took one of his dates to a private carnival on Monday night’s “Bachelor,” but it felt like viewers were the ones being taken for a ride.

I mean, is there any good reason why Heather Martin, a contestant from Colton Underwood’s season, would show up halfway through Matt’s season other than to stir up as much shit as possible?

Are ex-Bachelorette Hannah Brown and her pals in charge of casting now? Have the producers decided that Matt’s journey for love is a lost cause and they might as well pump up the drama any way they can?

I get that Matt’s chances of settling on someone to marry seem to dwindle every time he takes another woman on a one-on-one and claims he can picture a life with her. It’s like frontrunner roulette: Oh, he’s really into Bri . . . no wait, it’s Sarah . . . never mind, it’s Serena P . . . spoke too soon, it’s Michelle . . . oops, now it’s Rachael . . . er, it’s Kit? . . . sigh, now he’s into Pieper.

All this while his first impression rose winner, Abigail, is consigned to group date purgatory week after week.

And now Heather comes strolling in like she’s freakin’ Cinderella at the ball? Ridiculous. The only purpose it serves is to drive the other women crazy, just when things were settling down after weeks of sniping and bullying in the house.

So about that, one of the last of the mean girls got dispatched early in the episode.

You might recall from last week that MJ and Jessenia were on an instant two-on-one after Jessenia outed MJ as an “antagonist” for making the newer contestants feel unwelcome.

MJ figured she could fluff her hair, put her “weak bitch moment” behind her and that Matt would believe her crap about spreading harmony and peace. He did not. She got escorted to an SUV of Shame and driven away, complaining about how “petty” Jessenia was.

Matt was supposedly so exhausted from refereeing MJ vs. Jessenia that he couldn’t endure a cocktail party with the rest of the women ahead of the rose ceremony. That made Ryan and Pieper cry. Serena C, a.k.a. Mean Girl Jr., blamed it on Katie. Like huh?

Matt gave roses to Serena P, Michelle, Pieper, Bri, Chelsea, Katie and Serena C (Jessenia, Kit, Abigail and Rachael already had them), thereby ensuring the Katie-Serena C drama would continue. Magi, who seemed like a sweetheart from what little we saw of her, went home, along with two of the new girls, Ryan and Brittany, which makes you wonder what was the point of bringing them in in the first place. Oh right, drama.

Speaking of drama, the next day Serena C confronted Katie to complain that Katie’s “antics” were costing her time with Matt. “You’re lighting all these little fires everywhere. You’re the freakin’ arsonist,” complained Serena. It escalated into a shouting match. The silliest part? Neither Serena C nor Katie stood a chance in hell of ending up with Matt, so WHY ALL THE YELLING?

Little did they know an even more disruptive force was pulling up at the gates of the resort. It was Heather Martin asking to see host Chris Harrison.

“Heather, what are you doing here?” asked Harrison, echoing all of Bachelor Nation.

Heather explained that her pal Hannah Brown, who met Matt early in the pandemic when she quarantined with him and Tyler Cameron, had told Heather that Matt was her “perfect match.” “I couldn’t let him get engaged and not meet him and not try my best,” said Heather.

Well, we’re six weeks into the season now, so yeah, you could.

Harrison said he had to talk to some other people before deciding if Heather could stay, which meant he and some other people were going to pretend to debate letting Heather in while having a good laugh about how upset the other contestants would be when they saw Heather on rose ceremony night.

In the meantime, Matt had a one-on-one with Pieper. He waited till after dark, drove her to a wooded area of the resort, made her walk into the trees and voila: a whole mini carnival with rides and games and junk food.

Yes, it was pretty sweet. Later, Pieper told Matt about how her family doesn’t use the word “love” and so it was hard for her to express her emotions, but she somehow summoned up the courage to tell Matt she was falling in love with him. Matt told Pieper he wanted her to continue trusting him with her feelings and her heart, which seems like a really bad idea if you ask me.

There was a rose, there was kissing, there was a band. Yes, a country band. What else?

Next up, the group date ladies — Bri, Kit, Rachael, Michelle, Jessenia, Serena P, Abigail, Chelsea and Serena C — went bowling with Matt. They were split into two teams, even though there were nine of them, and the losing team was banished from the cocktail party even though they came back from an almost 200-point deficit and lost by a measly six points. What’s worse is that Matt let them walk back to their suite, frustrated and angry, and waited to send over a date card inviting them to the party.

Double the drama: the losing team was riled up and then they got to disappoint the winning team, who’d been thrilled they only had to divide Matt’s time four ways.

Chelsea took it particularly hard, until Matt assured her that he could see himself with her — well, who can’t he see himself with at this point? — but Michelle got the date rose.

And then it was Katie’s turn for a one-on-one, but first Matt reconnected with his bestie Tyler Cameron over a game of pool and talk of Katie’s “cactus-size vibrator” (um, ouch?). Matt said getting advice from Tyler gave him confidence because he’d seen the process “work” for Tyler except . . . did he actually watch Hannah’s season, because I’m pretty sure she picked Jed. And now she’s apparently dating some model.

Anyway Katie arrived for her date and it looked like she and Matt were going to spend the afternoon at the hotel spa. All right, not a carnival in the woods, but OK. But then Matt told Katie that Tyler was coming in for a massage, and Matt and Katie were going to hide in a little room watching on a monitor and secretly telling the actor pretending to be a masseuse what tricks to play on Tyler and . . . this is a date? I mean, yes, Tyler without a shirt on, I get it. But really?

The choice of date was the first clue that Katie was stuck in the friend zone. The unsmiling look Matt gave her at dinner when she said she wanted her love story to be Matt’s love story was another. But then he picked up the rose, so maybe she was going to stick around after all.

Instead Matt blathered a bit about how much their relationship had grown and how she set the tone in the house and how much she meant to him, but sorry, it wasn’t enough to give her a rose.

Katie kept her head high and her eyes dry as she left. Hopefully she remembered to pack the vibrator.

There’s already a groundswell of support building for her to be the next Bachelorette.

It was time for another cocktail party and rose ceremony. The women seemed friendly and contented. They figured the drama was behind them. And then Heather showed up, got stuck in the revolving door, smiled and waved at the women as she walked past them, and interrupted Matt with Pieper.

Matt laughed so hard when Heather walked in I figured maybe he’d heard a clip of her saying she was ready to fall in love with Matt and get engaged. As if.

The other women were not laughing. As my Toronto girl Serena P put it, “If she gets a rose tonight I’ll be rageful.”

Next week, yes, there’s definitely some ragefulness and some tears and Heather complains that people are being mean. Like, what the hell did she expect?

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo