There was a second rose ceremony on “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.” Three men went home, one of them voluntarily. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Citytv
Welcome to the Lisa-naissance.
Striking a blow for quirky girls everywhere who like to talk to squirrels, Lisa Mancini was continuing to burn up the beach on Monday’s “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.”
In the words of her friend Joey Kirchner, another Canadian cutie who’s looking to play the field, “She’s coming through just putting that tongue wherever she wants to blow it. It’s fantastic.”
In Lisa’s own words, “The Lisa Renaissance is in full effect.” Also, “the makeout bandit strikes again.”
Be mad about it if you want. Somebody on the Canadian production staff got the “more drama” memo.
Lisa was kissing all the boys and only one of them was crying in his red wine.
Well, OK, she only kissed two boys Monday: American “Paradise” alum Connor Brennan and newbie Jake Ondrus.
Jake Ondrus, centre, with Austin, Sam, Chelsea and Joey, turned Lisa’s head.
As an aside, whatever the women are seeing in Jake is not translating all that well through the TV screen. He does seem like a pretty chill guy, mind you. Lisa said he was spiritual. They talked about the “magic of the universe.” What do I know? I’m just a cynical TV critic.
Lisa said Jake was “a serious candidate,” although she was also still interested in Connor.
She definitely wasn’t feeling Quartney, who was blaming Lisa for the fact he hadn’t made connections with any other women. Here’s a question: if you keep banging your head against the same wall, is it the wall’s fault?
Also, you think any of the other women wanted to connect with Quartney after seeing how intense he got with Lisa after one date? And not a “date” date, a Paradise date.
Quartney tried, though, and got shut down by Nithisha and Meagan, which prompted him to throw his plastic wine glass and stomp off — well, inasmuch as one can stomp on sand — saying, “I’m done with y’all.”
Kevin Wendt, bartender and good egg, talked Quartney down, telling him to take a breath before doing anything crazy.
Also, his departure would obviously play better if he waited to make a speech at the rose ceremony. That’s not Kevin saying that; that’s me.
Edward Naranjo makes his pitch for Nithisha Ketheeswaran’s rose.
The next evening, with a rose ceremony looming, the focus shifted to Nithisha. Seeing as how Garrett was getting closer to Meagan — they had a private dancing and smooching party, y’all — Nithisha was taking applications for a friendship rose. The candidates included her former kissing partner, Edward; new guy Godfrey and an increasingly desperate Quartney.
Ding, ding, ding. Nithisha is the winner of the villain edit. I’m not sure what the difference is between Lisa not being sure who to give her rose to and Nithisha not being sure who to give her rose to. But Nithisha gave hers to Edward after supposedly telling other people he wasn’t there for the right reasons, so that made her decision “strategic.” I guess that’s a bad thing?
Like, wouldn’t you want to be strategic playing a game like “Bachelor in Paradise”?
The rose ceremony did happen — I guess we’re getting one every two episodes now. And Quartney got his close-up, telling host Sharleen Joynt and his fellow contestants that since he hadn’t found his person he was going to leave rather than potentially (read: almost certainly) not get a rose.
From there it went pretty much like clockwork, with Celine giving a rose to Joey; Chelsea to Austin; Meagan to Garrett; Sam to Cole; and Maria to Matia (oh honey, he is so not into you).
And then Lisa hemmed and hawed between Jake and Connor. She might have been confused. I wasn’t. Connor is third in the opening credits and they aren’t alphabetical. I believe he is what the folks on “Game of Roses” call a protected player.
Jake might have felt he was more exciting for Lisa than Connor; not so the producers.
Anyway, Nithisha gave the final rose to Edward, paving the way for the next day’s fallout.
Connor told Lisa that Jake was a “jackass” and “not a genuine person.”
First off, Connor was pissed that Lisa had been (allegedly) undecided about him and Jake. “At this point, I’m not all in on Lisa,” he said in his in-the-moment interview.
Also, Sam and Maria gave Nithisha a talking to. “You say one thing and then the next afternoon you change,” accused Maria. “We just feel like you wanted to play a strategic game and it wasn’t a heartfelt game,” added Sam.
Nithisha insisted she was there for love. Where she lost me, however, was when she called Godfrey “Godwin” and, after being corrected by Maria, retorted, “I’ll call him whatever I want to, OK.” Uh, OK, but that’s his name?
Anyway, a couple of new women had come to the resort: 31-year-old fan Paige Allen and “Paradise Canada” returnee Ana Cruz, 27.
Paige, who described herself as “a blond bombshell,” “party Paige,” but also “your worst nightmare,” got a little catty with a bikini-and-cowboy-boots-clad Sam, saying, “I was gonna wear my cowboy boots with my outfit, I thought it would look too much like a stripper.” Meow.
However she eventually fits in on the beach, Paige perfectly fit the narrative of tension between Lisa and Connor since Paige took Connor on her date. I would have definitely picked the guy who admired my skeleton tattoo, if I had one, over the guy who said his type was “fake asses, fake boobs.” Hello Matia.
If Connor had any designs on doing some retaliatory smooching with Paige, it must have gone by the wayside when they found out they were babysitting for Kevin and Astrid Wendt (formerly Loch). Kevin and Astrid went on the actual date, leaving their baby August and dogs Ace and Bean with Connor and Paige.
Kevin and Astrid Wendt trust August, Ace and Bean to Connor and Paige.
I’ll admit it was cute. Connor took out his ukulele and made up a song for the babe and the pooches.
Meanwhile, back at the beach, Lisa wasn’t exactly pining for Connor. She and Cole spent more alone time together, during which they established they were both very attracted to each other but were afraid of hurting Connor and Sam. So they didn’t kiss. They just nuzzled a lot. I guess rubbing someone’s butt and kissing their neck doesn’t count as making out.
When Connor came back from his date and told Lisa that he didn’t kiss Paige, Lisa decided not to tell Connor about her interlude with Cole, even though she was planning to spend more time with Cole that night.
The only other development was that Ana took Edward on a canoe date, on which they bonded over their shared Latino heritage, their interest in cooking and their closeness to their moms. Also kissing.
Nithisha is clearly going to have to get her next rose from someone else.
Next week: Cole and Lisa break their no-kissing rule; Paige makes a play for Matia; Austin goes on a helicopter date with new arrival Tessa; Joey smooches Sam; and Josh Guvi makes his return.
You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo
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