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Tag: Victoria

Bachelor in Paradise recap: Shanae gets dumped, Kate gloats

October 26, 2022 /
Serene Russell, Shanae Ankney and Brittany Galvin all had very different receptions waiting
for them when they got back to Playa Escondida. PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC

I don’t enjoy math so I was never going to be keen on “Geometry Beach.” But here’s one formula I can wrap my head around: the greater the minutes of filler relative to the actual happenings on “Bachelor in Paradise” the more boring the episode.

And man, was Tuesday’s episode a stinker! Ostensibly it was going to be the . . . most . . . dramatic . . . yet, since the OG women were heading back to the beach and the men who had strayed were going to have to explain themselves, but most of what we got was endless commentary before, during and after the breakups/reconciliations.

I mean, seriously, this is why we’re being made to endure two episodes a week? For all this filler? And we’re not even getting another rose ceremony until sometime next week?

Hopefully I’m not going to bore you as much as the producers did, so let’s get to the meat of the matter.

Monday’s episode set up the (non)action to come on Tuesday, laying out the various love (lust) triangles that factored into what Johnny called “Geometry Beach.”

We started with the confrontation between Lace and Rodney. Lace, you might recall from last week, had hitched a ride from the Estates at Vidanta to Playa Escondida to check up on her man, who was out on a date with Eliza.

There was no “Hurricane Lace” or “Lacifer,” despite the buildup. Rodney gave Lace the bad news that he had moved on as gently and apologetically as he could. Lace was sad, she cried, she went home, end of story.

So why is this show painting the women as forces of destruction for, uh, showing emotions?

Back at the Vidanta, the other exiled women learned from host Jesse Palmer that Lace had “left Paradise forever” — so she won’t be parachuted back in as a plot device then? — and those six were quizzed about whether they were open to exploring new connections with the five new men.

Turns out Victoria was interested in exploring things with Alex and Brittany was into Tyler. And for reasons I can’t fathom — maybe ABC has some deal with its Australian counterparts? — the women deemed Adam from “Bachelorette Australia” worthy of sticking around. But they had zero interest in Rick and Olu, so those two got sent home.

Shanae was also attracted to Tyler — she wanted to take him to the boom boom room, after all — but also claimed to still be thinking about Logan.

Logan, however, sure didn’t seem to be thinking about Shanae. Not only had he gone on a very kissy face date with Sarah, he had now developed a “groundbreaking” connection with Kate. How, you might ask, since Kate seemed to be attached at the lips and the crotch to Jacob? Why, a 1:23 a.m. conversation on one of the beach beds.

So when a date card magically appeared for Kate, she took “sweet baby Jacob” for a talk and confessed that she was more into Logan. Poor Sarah didn’t get the courtesy of a talk from Logan until after Kate had invited him on the date in front of everybody.

And speaking of magical date cards, Victoria got one too and used it to explore Alex, a.k.a. “every girl’s fucking dream.”

Alex Bordyukov and Victoria Fuller talked about future offspring on their date.

The main points of interest seemed to be that Alex wasn’t frightened away by Victoria’s contention that she wanted five kids (!) and that Alex had rubbed Victoria’s head as she was dozing on the couch.

“Physical touch is my love language,” she said. And if one more person uses the phrase “love language” I’m gonna barf.

Speaking of touch, Brittany and Tyler went on a “date” of their own by the pool that involved lots of smooching. So the stage was set for various awkward reunions back at the beach.

We saw Genevieve and Aaron reconnect first and why did we spend so much time on this one? We already knew they had stayed true to each other, so whatever.

Then we had an inordinate amount of “heads are gonna roll” scene-setting for Shanae’s reunion with Logan and guess what, they didn’t.

Sure, Shanae was upset to hear that Logan felt more “heard and seen” by Kate, but why wouldn’t she be? And when Logan tried to blame his pursuit of Kate on Shanae hurting his feelings with her dalliance with James she was well within her rights to ask why he hadn’t expressed that hurt at the time. Damn straight she walked away without giving Logan a hug.

For Logan and Kate to then rub salt in the wound by slobbering over each other in full sight of Shanae and everyone else, as the other cast members cheered them on, was disrespectful and insensitive.

Shanae’s new best friend Genevieve — and by extension, the producers — talked Shanae into having another go at Logan. The idea was obviously to make it seem like Shanae 2.0 was reverting back into the bully we saw on Clayton’s “Bachelor” season.

Look, I’m not going to defend Shanae’s behaviour back then. I was disgusted by it, particularly her mockery of Elizabeth’s ADHD, but she wasn’t bullying anybody on the beach on Tuesday.

Kate, who seems to really like the sound of her own voice, was the one gloating over how she had triumphed over Shanae. She was the one who forced Shanae into a conversation she didn’t want to have. And then we had Aaron’s misogynistic commentary: Shanae was a “Shanaedo” who didn’t belong on the beach; Shanae should be straitjacketed in a padded room; Shanae should be abducted by aliens and taken to a planet that better suited her personality.

All this because she was sad and angry over being rejected for another woman? Did the beach suddenly get transported back into the 19th century or something?

The breakups continued.

After Jacob told Jill she wasn’t the woman for him, she tearfully decided to go home but not without giving viewers a last laugh: “A Lyft driver and you break my fucking heart. He sold his couch for cash and I fucking cried over him,” she said as the SUV of Shame pulled away.

Brittany and Andrew had a very civilized conversation, agreeing to part ways to purse Tyler and Jessenia, respectively.

Thankfully, we finally got to see Serene reunite with Brandon and it was as adorable and heart-swelling as it needed to be. They told each other they loved each other and can we just skip to the end where these two get engaged already?

That left Victoria and Johnny, who claimed to be falling for Victoria and looked genuinely stricken when she told him about her date with Alex.

There then followed a long, circular conversation about how Alex checked boxes for Victoria, whether Victoria did or didn’t have a list of requirements for Johnny to fulfil, and whether Johnny was or wasn’t ready for an engagement, not to mention marriage and a family, which Victoria wanted, like, yesterday.

I still don’t know the answer after all that talk but heads up! Alex, Tyler and Adam were heading to the beach.

Tyler and Brittany reaffirmed their interest in each other and then there was this weird situation where Jessenia pulled Tyler away for a private chat. And it was totally stupid because we all know that Jessenia likes Andrew. It was meant to support the fiction of a feud between the original women and the new women. And really, producers, really?

Johnny, meanwhile, said he felt sick to his stomach watching Victoria with Alex. Those two went for a talk of their own, also without a resolution. It would seem to be pretty clear cut: if Johnny is unwilling to commit and Alex shares Victoria’s desire to start a family pronto, wouldn’t Alex be Victoria’s match, no matter the quality of the breakfasts with Johnny? Victoria, however, said she was still confused.

It appears that she will stay confused next week. Also, the producers will play a dirty trick on Rodney by bringing Justin back to go on a date with Eliza. I like Justin, but this is what we’re doing now? Bringing back people who didn’t get roses just to cause mayhem?

Also, Hayden and the twins from Rachel’s and Gabby’s season turn up. And why? Nobody cares about the twins, nobody cares about Hayden.

But if you’re still watching, you can tune in next Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

A ‘toxic’ Bachelor season? Not according to ‘Women Tell All’

March 2, 2021 /
From left, Serena P, Anna, MJ, Mari, Pieper, Chelsea, Victoria and Serena C on the somewhat misleadingly named “Women Tell All” episode of “The Bachelor.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Oh the irony. There was erstwhile “Bachelor” host Chris Harrison Monday night talking about how there’s been more “explosive drama than any of us were prepared for” this season. Little did he know when that “Women Tell All” episode was taped, just five days before that fateful “Extra” interview with Rachel Lindsay (a fact noted with a disclaimer at the start of the program), that he’d be at the centre of the most explosive drama the franchise has ever seen.

As I write this, there’s still no word on how long Harrison’s hiatus from “The Bachelor” will last or whether it will be permanent (if you’re not sure what’s going on, go google Harrison and Extra and/or Rachel Lindsay and/or Rachael Kirkconnell). We now know that author and TV host Emmanuel Acho will replace Harrison on “After the Final Rose.”

Here’s another thing I know: it was maddening to watch Harrison soft-pedal the drama that did occur this season — the name-calling, the bullying, the gaslighting, the overall meanness — by not calling out the women behind the worst of it and basically just sitting and nodding along while some of them talked more crap.

I mean, come on, we’ve all seen Harrison ask tough questions in these types of situations before, but they were MIA here.

Victoria was still milking the “Queen” nonsense on “Women Tell All.”

So we had Victoria, the Queen of Mean, suggesting that the fact that contestant Ryan was upset about being called a “ho” and an idiot and a “shady bitch” on TV was down to Ryan being overly emotional.

“It’s hard to hear yourself being called a ho on national television,” Ryan said.

“Do you think you’re a super sensitive person?” asked Victoria. And then, noting that she herself had been subject to social media backlash, Victoria added, “I’m a little bit puzzled as to why you’re holding on to this emotional anger right now.”

At least Kit and Chelsea defended Ryan’s right to be angry over being called “horrible things” on TV.

From left, Katie, Jessenia, Ryan and Brittany on “The Women Tell All.”

And Victoria did apologize to Katie for calling her disgusting. But then several contestants piled on Katie for having the nerve to bring up the unpleasantness in the house to Bachelor Matt James.

Chelsea actually said, and I quote, “The house wasn’t toxic until you made it toxic by bringing it up to Matt and then causing the domino effect that led to every single drama in the house that you were involved in.” Hello, shoot the messenger much? It’s complete bullshit. Personally, I was writing about how nasty women like Victoria and Serena C and Anna were being several weeks before we saw Katie talk to Matt about it. She didn’t cause the drama; she just brought it to Matt’s attention.

After Serena C recycled her BS about how Katie “wanted to do it to light a flame and start a fire,” I was the one feeling “emotional anger.”

Katie did a great job of keeping her cool and later got to sit in the “hot seat” with Harrison, saying all the right things for a prospective future Bachelorette, for instance that she’s “embraced exactly who I am” in the past year, that she’s hopeful her “person’s still out there,” that she’s “the most confident I’ve ever been.”

But, as much as I like Katie, the women who brought the most grace and class to an otherwise disappointing episode were Brittany and Abigail.

Brittany was invited up to talk about the rumour that Anna spread about her (and that “Bachelor” producers chose to broadcast) that Brittany was a high-end escort.

“When you google my name now, the first 20 results say ‘Bachelor contestant Brittany Galvin accused of being an escort,'” Brittany told Harrison, adding that there’s nothing wrong with escort work, “but that’s not me.”

“I didn’t sign up to get bullied, I didn’t sign up to get slandered.”

Brittany added that Anna had not reached out to apologize to her despite having had weeks to do so. But gee, Anna was “so, so sorry” at “Women Tell All.” Yet, despite how “awful” Anna said she felt about letting her anger and insecurity get the better of her, she kind of doubled down by telling Brittany she’d heard the rumours about her from people who knew her ex-boyfriend and went to school with her, noting that “Chicago is a small town.”

Brittany very graciously accepted Anna’s apology, saying, “I don’t want people to destroy your life as well.” And if we’re talking about potential Bachelorettes, we could do way worse than someone with that kind of maturity and generosity of spirit.

Abigail was looking every inch a potential Bachelorette on “Women Tell All.”

And then there was Abigail. If anyone had a right to be bitter about how the season turned out it was her. Since when does a first impression rose winner not get a one-on-one date? Has that ever happened before? I’d have to do a little research to find out, but it certainly seems odd. Frankly, it seems like Matt led her on. Abigail said merely that she had “a big what if,” as in could she have been a frontrunner if she’d had a whole day with Matt.

She also focused on the positive feedback she’d had from the deaf community about the fact that a deaf person was shown in a romantic light, since “disability isn’t always romanticized.”

And she mentioned that she was now “a much better version of myself, to share with whoever wants to share that with me.”

Pieper, another hot seat occupant, had a similar sentiment about her time on the show, saying she’d grown as a person. Serena P was invited onstage as well, where she confirmed that, no, she wasn’t having second thoughts about dumping Matt, even though “I care about him still so much.”

(As an aside, I don’t think Serena P is in the running for Bachelorette, but perhaps she’ll pop up on the newly announced “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” coming to Citytv. You never know.)

No offence to Matt, but I am not a fan of the beard.

Finally, I hate to end on a negative note, but Matt’s time in the hot seat was aggravating for me.

Given the chance to comment on the toxicity among the women, all Matt could say was that he was “a little surprised.”

“I just tried to be empathetic to the women and what they were going through because I hadn’t gone through it, so I couldn’t say I (would) have acted differently in their position. There’s a million different factors you have to take into account, so I try not to hold them to an unrealistic standard.”

So not calling other women sluts and ho’s is an unrealistic standard? Good to know.

Matt basically apologized to MJ for sending her home on the two-on-one and then Serena C piped up, like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, about how she hoped Matt wouldn’t think the women were bad people or mean ones.

“I’ll be the first one to say I am not a perfect person so I’m no one to sit up here and judge how any of you all decided to handle yourselves and deal with that emotion in real time.”

I guess you could say Matt was being a good Christian, but just know, Serena C, that I am judging you and, yeah, definitely mean.

The distasteful icing on the cake was that Victoria, who up until then had maintained her sangfroid, got all weepy about her dramatic exit — you know, the one in which she loudly called Ryan “the shadiest bitch” and said she, Victoria, was the only one with “a brain” in the room — and blamed it on her “fear of rejection.”

And Matt actually apologized to Victoria if she felt offended. And he also said he “dropped the ball” on their relationship. Their relationship? They had a relationship?

I’m just going to leave it there.

Next week, it’s fantasy suite dates and, yes, more drama, but we’re in the home stretch, just two more episodes to go.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

The chickens come home to roost for two Bachelor ‘antagonists’

February 2, 2021 /
Matt James and friend on a farm-themed group date. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Matt James brought out the Swiffer on Monday night, but what he needed was a heavy duty mop.

The Bachelor, tipped off to all the toxic nonsense swirling around the women, decided to clean house — and it almost worked.

Once Queen Victoria and her mean girl protege Anna had been sent packing, it seemed like something approaching civility might be restored among the contestants. When nice girl Rachael got a one-on-one date nobody called her “slutty” or a “ho.” Sure, the other women were disappointed it wasn’t them, but a few of them even clapped for Rachael.

Even the goat she was trying to milk didn’t want anything to do with MJ.

The goodwill didn’t last, though. MJ, who managed to avoid the purge that eliminated Victoria and Anna, got outed on the group date as an “antagonist” by Jessenia. The episode ended with the pair of them on an instant two-on-one and MJ gaslighting so hard it was like she was Charles Boyer and Jessenia was Ingrid Bergman.

I’m going to go out on a fairly sturdy limb and say that Matt won’t swallow MJ’s balderdash about spreading harmony and peace next week. But, in the meantime, let’s relive the fall of Queen Victoria.

After Katie tipped off Matt to the bad blood between the new women and the so-called OGs, it was fairly certain that a couple of troublemakers were headed for the SUVS of Shame.

Anna with Matt in the proverbial “happier times,” at last week’s rose ceremony.

First up was Anna, who you’ll recall gleefully spread a false rumour that newcomer Brittany was an escort back home in Chicago.

Matt heard the tale firsthand from a tearful Brittany. “This is on national TV,” she said. “My mom watches this show and this could ruin my entire life.”

Anna apologized to Matt, but her tears and her explanation of how horrible she felt weren’t good enough for a reprieve. And it was amazing how contrite everyone else got after they watched Matt walk Anna out of the hotel. “Kiss-assery” was what Serena C accurately called it, although she should have been kissing ass right along with the rest.

Queen Victoria’s reign finally came to an end and not with a rose, like last week.

Victoria even apologized to Catalina for taking her Miss Puerto Rico crown the night she arrived and then she sucked up to Brittany, but it was newbie Ryan who laid the groundwork for Victoria’s dethroning by telling Matt, “She told me to my face that because I’m a dancer, she flat out stated that I was a ho.”

The best part was that Victoria seemed to think she could bullshit her way out of it. She told Matt that her comment about Ryan being a ho was taken out of context, to which Matt replied, “I’m just curious, like what context would calling somebody a ho be acceptable to be taken in?” Yes! Thank you Matt.

Victoria just looked at him and played with her hair, but she had plenty to say to whichever producer had been babysitting her.

“Ryan, she’s the shadiest bitch and I hope I don’t get sent home because of that,” Victoria whined, loudly enough for Ryan and some of the other women to hear.

“Literally, there’s no one here he can marry besides me . . . I’m the only one with a working brain in this room. I’m not even being rude, I’m being serious. If he’s gonna believe some idiot over me he’s not my person.”

Holy delusional, Batman. I can’t wait to see that clip replayed on “Women Tell All” and hear Victoria’s spin on it.

When Victoria finally did get sent home, along with Catalina, Lauren and Mari, she had the nerve to tell Matt, “I honestly feel so sorry for you that you would listen to hearsay and not all the facts behind this situation.”

In reply, Matt just looked at her, which was the perfect response.

So Victoria declared that Matt was no longer her king but a jester, which to my mind is not a bad thing. It means he gets the last laugh.

Rachael plays dress-up inside one of the hotel shops.

The next day, Rachael got the “Cinderella” date. Since there presumably weren’t any swanky stores open nearby (or none they’d break quarantine in the resort for), Rachael was taken to one of the shops inside the Chateau at Nemacolin and gifted with a bunch of designer dresses and a pair of Louboutins.

The dinner conversation was mostly standard talk about Rachael having self-doubt and being afraid to open up. The most significant thing was that she said she was falling in love with Matt and he said it back to her, and I do believe that’s the first time he’s said that to someone.

Imagine how pissed you’d be if you’d just watched Rachael come back to the suite with her arms full of bags of expensive clothes and you had to go on the group date and shovel poop. That’s what Serena P, Bri, Katie, Pieper, Serena C, Ryan, Michelle, Brittany, Magi, Abigail, Chelsea, Jessenia and MJ got to do, as well as milk a goat named Frenchie (who did not like MJ much at all) and gather eggs.

MJ thought she’d be cute and flirty and chase Matt after he threw an egg that broke in her hand, but he ran straight into Pieper doing an interview and began sucking on her face. Awkward.

Hey Matt, remember your first impression rose recipient, Abigail?

Put MJ aside for a moment while we talk about Abigail. I’ve been puzzled that the first impression rose winner has not yet had a one-on-one, which was also weighing on Abigail’s mind.

She told Matt she was afraid she would disappoint him, chiefly because he wants a family and there’s a good chance her children will be deaf like her and her sister. She also confessed her fear of opening up in a relationship after her birth father walked out on the family when Abigail and her sister got their cochlear implants. Matt, himself the son of a single mom as we all know, treated her confessions as fuel for a future together and gave her the date rose. So don’t count Abigail out just yet.

When MJ’s turn for a chat came, things weren’t quite so cordial. Matt told her that some of the other women had identified her as an “antagonist” in the house. MJ claimed to be shocked and hurt, and then promptly proved her bona fides as an antagonist by getting up in Jessenia’s face. Jessenia had told Matt how MJ referred to the original women in the house as the “varsity” squad and the newer women as “JV” or junior varsity.

I mean, I’d rather be called JV than a ho, but I see Jessenia’s point, which was that it made the newer contestants feel unwelcome. MJ claimed she’d “never been involved in anything,” which anyone who’s watched the season from the beginning knows is a bunch of hogwash.

Anyway, enough about MJ. It was time for Kit’s one-on-one. I confess on Night 1 I had Kit pegged as perennial group date fodder and perhaps a sparring partner for Victoria. But Matt had Kit come to his place to bake chocolate chip cookies and smooch a lot.

Kit talked about how growing up in the public eye as the daughter of designer Cynthia Rowley made her keep her emotions hidden and her walls up, but she was being really vulnerable (yes, that word again) for the very first time. She said she was starting to fall in love with Matt.

Matt didn’t say it back, but he said he was happy to have Kit on the journey and gave her a rose.

And just like that it was rose ceremony day again and a card arrived for MJ and Jessenia, telling them to meet Matt at the cocktail party ahead of the other women.

I won’t bore you with the full extent of the she said, she said.

Jessenia said MJ was a liar for not owing up to her part in the toxicity in the house. MJ said all she was doing was preaching peace and harmony (if by harmony you mean saying things like, “The new girls aren’t gonna try to, like, get to the front of the line. Let the varsity squad go in first,” then yes, very harmonious).

Jessenia, who I am totally re-evaluating due to the cool way she parried MJ’s BS, said, “You’ll find out the truth when all this airs and so will he.”

And then Matt walked in, looking grim, and the promo rolled for next week.

We know that Pieper will be pissed, Abigail will be angry, Serena C and Katie will clash, Tyler Cameron will put in an appearance and, lord help us, Heather Martin will make her long awaited (or is that dreaded?) return to “Bachelor” land.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

New blood brings fresh meat for the Bachelor’s Mean Girls

January 26, 2021 /
Matt James started his night with 18 women at the rose ceremony and ended up with 23.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Dumping new women into the cauldron of insecurity and jealousy that is “The Bachelor” several weeks into the season is kind of a no-miss move if drama is the aim.

At the very least, the original women will be flustered enough to generate lots of bitchy B-roll when the new ladies arrive. If the Bachelor keeps at least one of the newbies you’re guaranteed at least another day or two of tension.

But I imagine the producers practically peed themselves with excitement when Matt James kept (or agreed to keep) four of the five women parachuted in on Monday night, then took one of the four on a one-on-one date, leaving several of the OG contestants in a lather.

And when the jealousy reached new levels of verbal nastiness, well, high fives all around in the production room.

It seems like last week‘s gang-up on Sarah was perhaps a rule and not an exception given what went down this week. As usual, Victoria was the chief Mean Girl, but Anna was a close second, with assists from MJ and Serena C.

The episode began with Matt moping about Sarah’s departure and a few of the women gloating about it. “The trash took itself out,” sniped Victoria. When Katie asked her to stop being mean, Victoria responded, “No, I won’t stop, Katie. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”

Matt and Katie, who had no time for Victoria’s nonsense.

During the group date, Victoria tried to get Katie to apologize: “You told me to stop when I wasn’t done expressing myself.” When Katie pointed out that Victoria’s self-expression consisted of calling Sarah names, Victoria retorted, “I can express myself with name-calling if I choose to.” When Katie didn’t back down, Victoria tried to shame her by bringing up the vibrator from Night 1, but Katie — bless her heart — stuck to her guns.

Model Chelsea, who chatted with Matt about the emotional weight that Black women attach to their hair, got the date rose.

By the time the rose ceremony cocktail party rolled around, it looked like the drama had died down. Matt gave a very unconvincing speech about how he was eventually “hoping to get down on one knee” and distributed kisses and compliments to Pieper and Kit and Katie and Bri. And then, just as Victoria started blathering to Matt, host Chris Harrison interrupted and told Matt he had to talk to him. Right. Now.

Matt liked newcomer Brittany way more than the OG contestants did.

Was Sarah back? That’s what the women thought when an SUV pulled up outside. But brunette bombshell Brittany quickly became their new target when they saw her from a window planting a big smooch on Matt (for the love of god, will someone tell Matt to close his eyes when he kisses?).

She was quickly followed by teacher Michelle, dancer Ryan, nurse Kim and Catalina, a former Miss Puerto Rico whose crown “Queen Victoria” stole right off her head.

Victoria fumed that the interlopers were “random-ass hoes”: Anna said she was having a mental breakdown; Katie worried they were “new and exciting eye candy.” Matt called them “a nice surprise” — so nice in fact that he kept Brittany, Michelle, Ryan and Catalina and sent home Khaylah and Kaili, not that it mattered much in the grand scheme of things. It’s mostly changing up the group date fodder.

Speaking of group dates, the next day Matt took Brittany, Ryan and Catalina on a group date with Mari, Bri, Abigail, Magi, Anna and Victoria.

Former Bachelor Ben Higgins was back to oversee a group date.

It was an obstacle course supposedly planned by former Bachelor Ben Higgins: a “Fall in Love Fest” in which the women had to kayak in “pumpkins” across a pond (fall, get it?), then dress in squirrel costumes and hunt for stuffed acorns in a pile of leaves before racing to the finish line.

There was no drama to speak of, unless you count Anna hiding Brittany’s acorn, but that changed at the cocktail party when Brittany interrupted Anna’s time with Matt.

Anna started trash-talking Brittany, egged on by Victoria, who called Brittany “slutty.” Anna claimed to have heard rumours from their mutual hometown of Chicago that Brittany was — gasp! — an escort.

Brittany denied it, saying it was shitty that Anna was drawing conclusions without knowing her. “I know you guys don’t care at all, but it’s really hard,” said Brittany, to which Victoria retorted, “OK, then get out of the house” and laughed.

First off, so what if Brittany was an escort? Would that disqualify her from coming on a dating show? And have we not moved past women slut-shaming each other on this series?

Newcomer Michelle got a coveted one-on-one with Matt.

Against that background, Matt’s one-on-one date with Michelle the next day was a nice respite. The ziplining and hot-air ballooning were fine (some of the other women spied on them with binoculars from a hotel balcony), but it was the dinner conversation that made it clear these two had really bonded in their short time together.

Michelle talked about her work as a teacher, how much she loved her job, how hard the year had been for her students between the pandemic and the killing of George Floyd, and she paraphrased Maya Angelou: “People don’t always remember what you say. They remember how you made them feel,” which happened to be one of Matt’s favourite quotes.

Matt said Michelle had “the type of depth I’m looking for in a woman” and “could be someone that I called my wife,” and you had the feeling it might be game over for the women back at the hotel.

There was fighting as well as fighting words on “The Bachelor,” with guidance from Mia St. John.

Nonetheless, the show must go on, so there was another group date. This time 10 of the women — no newbies, luckily for them — got to train with former world boxing champ Mia St. John and then beat each other up in the “Battle for the Bachelor” while the rest of the women, Harrison and alum Wells Adams watched.

The women didn’t pull their punches, so much so that one bout was stopped after Serena P. got smacked in the throat and the nose by Lauren.

At the after-party, the women began complaining about the new girls again, undeterred by Katie telling them, “At some point we’ve got to get over it and welcome them into the house a little bit.”

It was worse back at the “house,” where Anna and Victoria were tag-teaming again, with Victoria calling Brittany “serial killer weird” and Catalina “the dumbest ho I’ve ever met.”

Katie, who knew firsthand how upset Brittany was about the escort story, decided to tattle. She ran outside to tell Matt there was bullying going on and rumours being spread about the new girls that “could literally ruin their lives.”

So it looks like the poop will hit the fan next week just ahead of the rose ceremony.

There will be tears, recriminations and it looks like Victoria will have a fainting spell of her own.

You can watch all the drama on Citytv next Monday at 8 p.m. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

On ‘The Bachelor,’ the ‘Mean Girls’ drive a frontrunner away

January 19, 2021 /
Victoria reads Matt a filthy bedtime story on “The Bachelor.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

There was some real ugliness on Monday’s episode of “The Bachelor.” The shock is that it didn’t all come from “Queen Victoria.”

In fact, the season’s reigning villain was sidelined for much of the episode while the wrath of the house fell on an unlikely target: front-runner Sarah Trott.

Sarah’s sin was to interrupt a group date that she wasn’t on to talk to Bachelor Matt James, resulting in some of the women on the date not getting time with him. And then Sarah stayed in her room the next day rather than speak to the women she pissed off. So by the time she finally did come down to apologize to them it was like sticking her head in a hive full of angry bees. It was made clear that life with the other women was going to be, in Kit’s words, “horrible” from then on.

The next morning, Sarah decided to go home.

Matt and Sarah during last week’s episode, in yes, happier times.

I have sympathy for Sarah, I really do. First off, Matt and the audience knew what the rest of the women didn’t: that her father was seriously ill, which had to be stressing her out for the three weeks she was at the Nemacolin resort (although one does wonder why, if her father was so sick he could have been weeks away from death, as she told Katie, she would have come in the first place).

Secondly, I can’t imagine what it would be like to really be into someone and not only know that they were dating other people, but have to watch them go on dates with those people. Yes, it’s how “The Bachelor” works, but knowing it and living it are two different things. Not everyone is cut out for it.

Thirdly, how much of a role did production play in Sarah interrupting the date to talk to Matt? Sure, it’s possible that she independently decided she absolutely had to see Matt right there and then. But I have a hard time believing she didn’t get a nudge from production.

The episode began as it ended, with Sarah drama.

You’ll recall that last week we saw her collapse in some sort of fainting spell partway through the rose ceremony. She was fine once she went outside to get some air — with Matt by her side, which had the other women grumbling.

The rose ceremony continued. Victoria got the final rose. Marylynn, whom Victoria had told Matt was toxic, got sent home. Does that suck? Absolutely. My theory is that if if Marylynn had given as good as she got — if she’d argued with Victoria instead of trying to have a calm, adult conversation with her — they both would have been kept around for the drama.

With Marylynn dispatched, Victoria set her venomous sights on Sarah, declaring that the fainting spell seemed fake and Sarah was worse than Marylynn. Hold that thought.

Host Chris Harrison and Ashley Iaconetti Haibon with Matt.

Next up there was a group date that served two time-honoured “Bachelor” traditions: making the group do something embarrassing and bringing back a “Bachelor” alum. In this case, Ashley I. was on a stage reading an erotic passage from host Chris Harrison’s novel “The Perfect Letter” (what’s up with that? has he been listening outside the fantasy suite doors?) as Matt and 10 of the women walked in.

And — surprise — they all had to write their own sexy stories about Matt and read them in front of a live audience, i.e. the other contestants. Most of the prose was more suggestive than salacious, except for Katie’s and Victoria’s, which was filled with words that had to be bleeped out. But Victoria’s seemed to make everybody laugh really hard — except for Sarah.

Sarah said hearing the other women read their stories was “like a knife went through my heart.” She also said that seeing Matt with other people was “triggering” issues from her past involving faithfulness, commitment and jealousy.

Next thing you know Sarah was interrupting Katie’s conversation with Matt so she could tell him how hard she was finding the “process.”

Katie, who is nothing if not forthright, came back to claim her time with Matt, but Sarah said she needed five more minutes. When Katie came back a second time and refused to leave the room, Matt walked Sarah out of the room so he could continue reassuring her — and kissing her — in private.

Sarah then tried apologizing to the women on the group date, but they weren’t having it. Sarah left in tears; everybody else was mad, except for maybe Rachael, who got the date rose.

Would things have blown over if Sarah had come downstairs the next morning and apologized again? I don’t know. But Sarah staying in her room and Matt going upstairs to find her when he was supposed to be taking Serena P. out on a date just made everything worse.

Sarah told Matt she’d been ready to leave the night before; he told her he had “real feelings” for her and convinced her to stay. And oh yeah, not to worry about what the other girls think, which is easy for him to say.

I’d rather show you the donkeys than this photo of Matt and Serena P. from last week.

Then we got a respite from “The Sarah Show,” as Victoria called it, while Matt and Serena Pitt, a publicist from Toronto, went horseback riding. They had a picnic and bonded over the idea of not living life the way other people want you to , and then their smooching session was interrupted by adorable donkeys.

Did Serena get a rose? You bet. She didn’t even have to make any harrowing confessions at dinner. She just talked about her one serious boyfriend and told Matt she could see herself potentially falling in love with him. And then they fell into a hot tub for Champagne and kisses.

Back at the part of the resort where the other women were hanging out, Sarah finally made an appearance just as the second group date card arrived. She apologized both for interrupting the first group date and for not coming down to “clear the air,” but it was a very, very tough crowd.

Serena C. accused Sarah of not taking anyone else’s feelings into account; Victoria said Sarah was treating her time as more important than anyone else’s; and Anna said Sarah’s actions felt calculated.

“Manipulative, toxic,” added Serena.

“I concur. You’re all three of those things, Sarah,” said Victoria.

“Why would you think that we want to make amends with you?” she added. “I do not accept your apology even if you say it 20 more times.”

Kit delivered the coup de grace: “I hope your connection with Matt is very strong right now because the rest of your living situation here is going to be horrible.”

“Yeah,” agreed Victoria, smiling and laughing.

(Just as a reminder of how classy Victoria is, she said if Matt sent Sarah home she’d want to fuck him, because it would be so “hot.”)

Is this the same group of women who said last week they could feel happy for another woman who was going on a date with Matt even if they wanted to be on the date themselves? What happened to that generosity of spirit?

Thank goodness for Katie, who went to see Sarah the next morning to tell her she’d been uncomfortable with the gang-up of the night before.

At first, Katie tried to talk Sarah into staying, saying that otherwise she and Matt would always wonder “what if.” Then Sarah confided about her dad having ALS.

“My dad passed away in 2012, so I 100 per cent encourage you to be with him,” Katie said, with tears running down her cheeks. “I missed out on my goodbyes with my dad so I would never want that for you.”

Sarah stopped to see Matt before she left and he tried once again to convince her to stay, but when she said that she’d prayed about it and she felt “called” to go home, it was clear it was a lost cause.

Sarah left in tears and Matt sadly watched her go.

It would be nice to think we could get back to focusing on some of the nice women who are left, like Abigail. But next week, the producers screw with everyone’s heads by sending in five more contestants, which probably means another week in which Victoria isn’t public enemy No. 1.

You can watch all the drama on Citytv next Monday at 8 p.m. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

On The Bachelor, Victoria proves she’s the queen . . . of mean

January 12, 2021 /
Why does Victoria look so happy talking to Matt? Oh right, she’s throwing somebody under the bus.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

It’s time to abolish the Bachelor monarchy.

I’m not suggesting we go all Oliver Crowell on Victoria’s ass (he’s the fellow who had King Charles I beheaded in 1649), but it would be nice to see this particular “queen” deposed.

This being “The Bachelor,” however, Victoria will be with us a while longer so she can stir up some more crap. She was doing a fine job of that on Monday’s episode.

The drama started early. The first date card had barely been handed out before Victoria was bellyaching about how she was only there to be with Matt, she was sick of the other women (um, hello, after one day?), she wasn’t there to join a sorority and anybody who didn’t share her distaste for time spent with anybody but Matt was either lying or fake. Oh, and she didn’t want to go on a group date because she couldn’t be her “most authentic self.”

Which authentic self is that? The one who said “I literally am a queen”?

And when Victoria did get put on the group date, she warned the other women not to be “negative.” Oh the irony.

Anyway, while all that nonsense was going on, Matt was off on a one-on-one with Bri, the communications manager with whom he bonded on Night 1 over their shared heritage of being biracial and raised by single moms.

Bri’s reward for getting dumped off an ATV was drinks with Matt in a hot tub
and she got to count his abs, and said there were between eight and 60.

Bri survived with just bruises and a butt full of mud after Matt overturned their ATV while doing doughnuts. “Bri’s mom is going to kill me,” he said, which was kind of sweet and funny.

Never fear: there was a hot tub in the woods surrounding the palatial Nemacolin resort for them to clean off, drink Champagne and kiss in. No offence La Quinta, but this feels like a proper Bachelor franchise date.

And on a proper Bachelor date, you have to sing for your supper (whether you eat it or not), or more accurately spill your guts about whatever makes you “vulnerable,” a term that is giving “journey” a run for its money as the franchise’s favourite word. In Bri’s case that meant talking about the fact her mother was 13 (!) when she got pregnant with Bri, about her absentee dad and about the fact her mother was now pregnant again and had a new fiance, so “I don’t feel like I have a home to go to anymore.”

Naturally Bri got the date rose and a chance to kiss Matt some more while fireworks exploded overhead.

The fireworks were not confined to the outdoors. Inside the resort, Victoria was still whinging about how she didn’t want to spend time with the other women (note that nobody was forcing her to sit and complain ad nauseam to the other women) and now she claimed they were insulting her by questioning her view of things. And when Chelsea asked Victoria not to generalize with her accusations, Victoria zeroed in on roommate Marylynn for wanting to, in Victoria’s words, pick her brain and understand her better. Marylynn responded that she was merely suggesting that she and Victoria get to know each other. But Victoria, declaring that Marylynn was “psychologically disturbed, literally,” hauled her bags out of the room and decided to sleep on a couch.

(I had a look at the cast list just now because I wanted to see if Victoria was a lot younger than the other women, but no: she’s 27 and Marylynn is 28, so there goes that theory.)

So the stage was set for what Toronto contestant Alana (hello Canadian girl, I overlooked you last week) said was sure to be a “shit show” of a date. Truth be told, it was more of a paint show.

Eighteen Bachelor “brides,” including Victoria, second from left, on a group date with Matt James.

A whopping 18 women turned up for the group date and were given 10 minutes to put on wedding gowns for a photo shoot with Matt. Victoria butted in out of turn, of course, hauled up her dress to make Matt remove a garter from her thigh and laid a sloppy kiss on him — a little tasteless but on brand, I’d say.

Host Chris Harrison interrupted the photo shoot halfway through to tell the women they’d have to “fight” for Matt and by fight he meant form teams, run around trying to capture stuffed hearts from the opposite team’s goalposts, er, wedding arbours, and pummel them with objects like bouquets dipped in paint.

Here’s what the wedding dresses looked like after the game.

The dresses were shredded and so were the hearts of the losing team. All of them except for Mari, who was named “most valuable bride,” had to walk back to their rooms, leaving the winners to have cocktails with Matt.

So what was Victoria’s big confession during her alone time with Matt? She said she has insecurities and she thought, “Oh, I hope I don’t look fat” while choosing a wedding dress.

“I haven’t been deep with a guy like that in a while,” said Victoria.

Hold that thought; we’ll come back to it. In the meantime, Matt gave the date rose to lawyer Lauren, who told Matt she was looking for “a man of faith” because the key to her parents’ healthy marriage was “to keep God first.” That made Matt happy since the fact he’s a Christian sometimes turns people off, he said.

Moving on: it was Sarah’s turn for a one-on-one, flying over the resort with Matt in a biplane. Matt wasn’t steering, nobody fell out.

Sarah wasn’t ready to tell Matt about her family situation at the start of her date.

Conveniently, as he and Sarah drank Champagne on a couch in the woods, the topic turned to family and how Sarah’s dad felt about her being on “The Bachelor.” If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think Matt already knew about Sarah’s father’s health problems, wouldn’t you?

Sarah didn’t divulge anything right away, but the confession clock was ticking so, over dinner, she told Matt about her dad’s ALS and how she had quit her job as a TV reporter and anchor to be his caregiver.

I have no doubt that would be a hard thing to talk about with somebody you barely know and it’s a damn sight more “deep” than confessing to worrying you’ll look fat in a dress. Yes, I’m talking about you, Victoria.

Matt’s response was very classy. He said he’d pray for Sarah’s father, that he was “honoured” she had made such a big sacrifice to be there with him and asked, “What can I do through this experience to show you I can be somebody you’d want to be with?”

Sarah said, essentially, that he was already doing it. And she got her rose and her kisses.

There was nothing left by then but for Matt to hand out the rest of the roses. The cocktail party was going well. Matt reconnected with favourites like Abigail and Rachael. And when Marylynn expressed doubt about whether Matt really wanted her there since she hadn’t been on a date, he pulled out an orchid from behind the couch, which he (or somebody, anyway) had remembered was her favourite flower.

Poor Marylynn with Matt before Victoria threw her under the bus.

And then it all went to hell when Marylynn showed the other women her orchid. You could see the malevolent wheels turning in Victoria’s head. After blathering on to a producer about Marylynn’s “toxic energy,” Victoria trotted off to tell Matt that she could no longer sleep in her room because Marylynn was so toxic and manipulative.

I mean, it’s utter bullshit obviously. There’s only one person in the group so far who seems toxic and manipulative and that’s Victoria. But Matt dutifully went to Marylynn with Victoria’s allegations and all she could do was tell him none of it was true and hope that he believed her. Then Matt disappeared without talking to anymore of the women, saying he had a lot to think about.

Marylynn tried to clear the air with Victoria, hoping they could come to an understanding, but Victoria wouldn’t even allow Marylynn to sit next to her on the couch. She walked away saying that Marylynn was “too much for me” and then had the nerve to call Marylynn “crazy.” I don’t like to call other women names, but there’s a word that come to mind for behaviour like that and it rhymes with “itch.”

Anyway, Matt came back to hand out roses and had given away nine of them when Sarah, who earlier described herself as feeling “overwhelmed” by the Victoria drama, wobbled off the dais and, with the help of Bri, sank to the floor behind a couch. “I’m blacking out, I can’t see,” she told the medic who was called over as Matt hovered.

And then it was “To be continued.”

Clearly Victoria is going to get a rose because the promo for next week shows her getting into disputes with other women and she’s not wearing her cocktail party dress. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,” she tells Katie.

Off with her figurative — as opposed to her literal — head, I say.

You can watch all the drama on Citytv next Monday at 8 p.m. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

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