At one point on Tuesday’s “Bachelorette” Tayshia Adams talked about feeling like she was on a roller coaster. You want to know what else feels like a roller coaster? Starting the episode with the ridiculous spat between Noah and Bennett but being like “Yay, at least Tayshia sent Bennett home!”; moving on to hear decent guys like Ben and Riley share deeply personal and painful parts of their pasts and feeling like Tayshia might actually end up with a good person; then being rudely dragged back to ridiculousness by Bennett returning to . . . TELL TAYSHIA THAT HE LOVES HER!?!
The most ridiculous part of all? Tayshia seeming swayed enough by Bennett’s bullshit to consider keeping him around.
You don’t need a Harvard degree to know that’s a really bad idea, but it seems that’s exactly what Tayshia is going to do — at least long enough to rile up the other seven dudes who are still duking it out for hometown dates.
I mean god forbid some genuine, heartwarming things happen in an episode without some manufactured drama to counteract the good stuff and stir the pot.
Tayshia started out strong on Tuesday. She sat Noah and Bennett down and told them their beefing sounded like “teenage boy drama.” Then she told Bennett straight up that him saying there was zero chance she’d end up with Noah (although to be honest, he’s right) was him questioning Tayshia’s integrity: “You’re saying I’m not capable of making decisions of someone that’s . . . suited for me in the future.”
The best part was the pissed-off look on Tayshia’s face as Bennett mansplained his way through his theories of EQ (emotional intelligence), ending with the patronizing “You got this. I have every ounce of confidence in my mind and my heart that that is the case.” (What, no “you go girl”?) That was the point at which I knew Bennett was a goner. The only disappointment was that Tayshia didn’t send Noah packing as well — was it the fact he teared up while bemoaning Bennett’s way of talking to people “like they’re less” that saved his ass?
Whatever the case, Noah got to stay for the rose ceremony and then he got a rose — over Ed (sorry to Ed’s bestie, Chris Harrison, but no big loss), Demar (seriously?) and Spencer, who went from first impression rose winner to zero impression. I mean we’ve barely heard a peep from the guy since that first episode when Tayshia seemed infatuated with him.
Next up was a one-on-one date between Tayshia and Ben.
Forget the part where they rode around the resort on scooters looking for clues to an “oasis,” i.e. a different area of the resort. The big event was dinner where Ben’s pain was the main course.
You think last week‘s confession of his eating disorder was enough to win Ben a rose and a hometown date? Nah! “I don’t know if we can actually be something if he doesn’t open up to me,” Tayshia said.
Well, how’s this for opening up? Ben confessed that after growing up in an outwardly perfect but emotionally lacking family, after leaving home at 18 to join the army, after leaving the military and breaking his back, he was in such a dark place that he tried to commit suicide twice.
Ben assured Tayshia that “the person you see before you today isn’t that person” thanks to therapy, which I hope for Ben’s sake is true.
Ben got the rose, obviously, and then it was on to the group date and more painful revelations.
The shtick was that Zac, Brendan, Ivan, Noah and Riley all had to take “lie detector tests,” answering questions about themselves and their feelings for Tayshia. What it looked like was a laptop hooked up to lights — green for truth, red for lies, yellow for “I’m not sure” — that some unseen producer could manipulate.
The key revelations were Zac answering yes to the question “Have you ever cheated on someone?” and Riley getting a red fail light when stating his name.
First things first: Tayshia was all “Cheating is something I won’t tolerate” with Zac, until he explained that the cheating was kissing another girl at the Bowlerama when he was in Grade 6. They had a good laugh together and said they were falling in love with each other.
It was more complicated for Riley, who was driven to tears by the idea of telling Tayshia about his “rocky” family life. Turns out the name he gave during the test — Devon Riley Christian — isn’t the one he was born with. He was originally named Dwayne Henderson Jr. after his father.
The story got a bit disjointed from there: Riley’s father had sole custody of the kids after Riley’s parents divorced and he told Riley stuff that made him resent his mother, but now Riley and his mother are reconciled and his father is “not here,” but whether he’s dead or just not in Riley’s life wasn’t clear. In any event, Riley said he felt he needed to start from scratch in order to “be an honourable man” and so he changed his name.
Tayshia also did some serious bonding with Brendan and was vibing with Ivan and Noah as well (yeah, I don’t get that one either), so I wasn’t surprised when she said she wasn’t ready to hand out the date rose and needed more time to think it over.
But the fact that she had some meaningful interactions with some men who seem like they actually have something to offer made Bennett showing up at her door after the date all the more annoying.
First off, isn’t the fact that Bennett came back after Tayshia sent him home the ultimate questioning of her integrity? Secondly, he gave her the same lame excuse as before about how he never meant to question her decision-making. Except this time he added, “I’m so, so, so sorry” and “I love you.” And Tayshia claimed to be confused and to need a day to consider whether Bennett could stay.
Seriously? Eazy told Tayshia he was falling in love with her and he was gone in a flash (and yes, I have read about the sexual assault allegation against Eazy and if it’s true shame on him, but I liked him during his time on the show way better than Bennett). Bennett tells Tayshia he loves her and she’s all “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard the words ‘I love you’ and it means absolutely everything.”
Actually, I think it means absolutely nothing coming from Bennett’s mouth, but maybe that’s just me.
If Tayshia truly was feeling doubt about sending Bennett away — and I’m at a loss as to why she would — clearly some devious producer exploited that by inviting Bennett back to drop his bombshell. Either that or Tayshia is playing along with the drama.
Speaking of drama, the promo for next week’s two-nighter shows lots of unhappy looking men, Bennett strolling into the cocktail party room with a shit-eating grin, and Tayshia crying a lot and saying she’s done, plus an ornery-looking episode of “Men Tell All.” It airs Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv.
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