Tag: Bachelor in Paradise recap (Page 1 of 3)

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: ‘too many pickles’ on the beach

June 20, 2023 / Debra Yeo

It was not so happy trails for for a number of players on Monday’s “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Citytv

Here’s the thing about pickles: they can taste pretty sour. And on Monday’s “Bachelor in Paradise Canada,” several relationship “pickles” were souring the summer camp vibe on the beach.

The central one involved “Big Brother Canada” alum Sam Picco and ex-“Survivor” contestant Cole Medders. They have been a thing since the first episode, although there’s always been a sense that Sam was more emotionally involved than Cole, especially since Cole kept pursuing Lisa Mancini on the side.

And on Monday, Cole got pretty pissy when Sam tried to bring up the subject of love.

“What if I said I was falling in love with you?” she asked. “Have you ever loved somebody?” she persisted when Cole didn’t answer.

“I don’t really like these conversations. I don’t want to explore that stuff,” was Cole’s response.

Dating show contestants like to talk about people putting walls up — Cole was practically putting up a Hoover Dam.

Cole told Sam bluntly, “I am not falling in love,” and OK, fine. I’m guessing they had known each other about two weeks by the time this episode was shot. And there was a context for Cole’s skittishness. In his in-the-moment interview he explained that he had opened up on TV before and got screwed over — presumably talking about his relationship with Jessica Johnston on “Survivor” — “so I am not doing that again.”

But all the same, he was kind of a dick in the way he talked to Sam about it. In his ITM, he said he couldn’t keep leading Sam on, making her think they might have a post-Paradise future, and that they might not even be compatible.

If you think that meant Cole was now free to explore his supposed passion for Lisa, think again.

Cole Medders had no time for Lisa Mancini on Monday’s “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.”

Lisa and Cole had been avoiding each other ever since Cole and Sam went to the boom boom room, so Lisa tried to clear the air after Cole pointedly ignored her at the bar.

Cole coldly said in his ITM that part of him wanted to talk to Lisa and be friends, but the other part was “I just don’t care at this point.” So when Lisa approached him, Cole sullenly lied that everything was OK between them and then dismissed her while he continued brooding alone on a bean-bag bed.

Neither Lisa nor Sam was happy the next day. The roomies had compared notes the night before and seemed to be in agreement that Cole was manipulating and bamboozling both of them. Hold that thought.

Lisa was also feeling uncomfortable about her relationship with Connor Brennan. Bottom line: “I don’t know how I feel about Connor.” Yes, she liked him and liked spending time with him, but something was missing, she said more than once.

She was in a . . . wait for it . . . pickle.

Joey, who has essentially become this season’s narrator, said that although Connor and Lisa looked cute together — I totally agree — “girls usually don’t want the cute guy.” Sad face emoji.

OK, back to Sam and Cole.

While Cole was off moping, Sam told Joey and Tessa that she and Cole were done, a point she emphasized in several teary ITMs in which she said she didn’t have anything more to give to Cole. Until she did, that is.

Cole Medders and Sam Picco kissed and made up. Surprise, surprise.

A date card mysteriously appeared for Sam and, duh, she took Cole. All that was required was an hour of horseback riding at Glen Oro Farm in Hawkestone, Ont., an apology from Cole and some kissing, and suddenly all was right with Sam and Cole again, or as right as it could be.

Just as suddenly, Lisa was the villain. Lisa, Sam said, was a “bad person” who wanted to hurt her and Cole was just being genuine. And sorry, but I call bullshit, whether Sam actually believed that or was being told to say it by the producers.

We all watched the footage of Cole sucking face ad nauseam with Lisa. I draw your attention to Episode 5 in which Cole told Lisa, “I really fucking see something here, something that could, like, work in the real world too.” Which sounds an awful lot like “you guys could have a future outside of here,” which is what Sam said she had been told Cole said to Lisa.

Also, it doesn’t sound at all like “As she kept pushing I was, like, ‘Well, we can always talk outside of this later,'” which is what Cole told Sam he said to Lisa.

Look, I get it: a dude might tell a white lie when he’s put on the spot. From the way Cole’s leg jiggled as Sam told him what Lisa had told her, he seemed a little nervous about it.

And yes, I try not to take any of this too seriously: I don’t know any of these people or who they are in the real world, but never once have I had the impression that Lisa is a mean girl who would deliberately try to hurt Sam or anyone else.

So yeah, sorry Sam, I’m still Team Lisa.

Moving on to the night’s other big pickle or double pickles, as it were.

Juan Pablo Osorio, a Colombian-born fitness coach from Toronto, joined the cast. And if you didn’t know he would take Ana Cruz on his date, a Paradise returnee with Colombian heritage, you haven’t been paying attention.

Sure, Ana had been coupled up with American “Bachelorette” alum Edward Naranjo, but she was attracted to Juan’s “perfect smile” and his tattoos.

As Edward said, it was Mexico, his heritage, vs. Colombia.

Juan Pablo Osorio and Ana Cruz on their date, before they got up close and smoochy.

At least Ana hugged Edward goodbye before she and Juan went go-karting, which is more than Austin got when Chelsea went off with Josh last week.

But whereas that date was a production stunt, Ana seemed to be genuinely into Juan, or at least into kissing him. As she put it, “when I kiss Juan my vagina is dancing.”

She still liked Edward, however, even if his kisses didn’t make her lady parts salsa.

“I’m in a pickle. I have two pickles,” she lamented in her ITM. “Do I go for the pickle that’s brand new? Do I risk it or do I go for the pickle that I’ve already established a connection with? There’s too many pickles in Paradise.”

Amen sister!

Ana was still dancing the next day, presumably both her va-jay-jay and the rest of her body: in a salsa dance-off, she shook it with both Juan and Edward and then she had a smooching session with Juan. And, of course, Edward was sitting where he could see them. I can practically hear the producer guiding him to the right chair.

I suspect she will choose the more familiar pickle in the next rose ceremony, whenever that is, but who knows?

And finally we close with the silliest dispute of the episode. What is it with women who couple up with Joey and jealousy?

During a game of “Truth or Dare,” Tessa noticed that Maria kept touching Joey’s right leg. Tessa said “caressing.” To me, it looked more like resting her hand on it repeatedly.

Tessa Tookes had a message for the other women: hands off Joey Kirchner.

Sure, I get it; if another woman was touching my husband’s leg I’d probably be staring daggers at her too. But then Tessa kept going on and on to Meagan and other people about how Maria was crossing boundaries and not showing respect and only cared about herself to the point that the leg-touching molehill became a mountain.

Joey was very understanding of Tessa’s annoyance and agreed he would keep Maria’s handsyness in check.

And Maria was also conciliatory when Tessa confronted her, saying that’s how she had always been with Joey in the six years they had known each other, but she was happy that Tessa and Joey were together.

“I honestly had no idea I was doing it,” Maria said. “I totally, like, respect your relationship and I would never want to get in between.” But also, Maria said, she is a touchy person and it was hard to turn that off.

Things just disintegrated from there with Maria and Tessa talking over each other and Maria finally walking away in anger, and heading straight over to Connor and Lisa to complain.

Sorry Tessa, but I’m with Lisa here: the leg touch is “a non-issue.” And I would love to put leg-gate behind us for good. But it looks like Tessa and Maria are going to take swipes at each other next week in a “Paradise roast” presided over by drag artist Priyanka.

Also, Connor tells Lisa, “if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.” Celine puts Matia on the spot, Josh puts Maria on the spot, Meagan appears to be heartbroken and we might even get a rose ceremony.

You can watch next week, but note that “Paradise” is shifting for the rest of the season to Sundays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: a bum steer for Austin and Chelsea

June 13, 2023 / Debra Yeo

The cast of “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” raises a toast. ALL PHOTOS CITYTV

How do you create interest in a “reality” TV dating show when you’re six episodes in and your core cast is stable, aside from playing some silly kissing games?

You make it look like your most solid couple is in danger of breaking up.

That was the main “plot” in Monday’s episode of “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.”

You’ll recall that last week Vancouver filmmaker Josh Guvi walked back onto the beach. My impression from seeing him in the first season of “Paradise” is that he’s a stand-up dude, which made it suspicious that he would choose Brooklyn model Chelsea to take on his date despite being told by Lisa that she was off limits because of her relationship with Austin.

A more natural choice would have been Maria since she and Josh had been in communication since meeting the previous season and still seemed to be interested in each other.

Josh Guvi and Maria Garcia-Sanchez get reacquainted in Paradise.

Now, can I prove that Chelsea approached Josh for a chat and that Josh then asked her out — right in front of Austin — at the behest of producers? Of course not, but you can draw your own conclusions.

Chelsea said she and Josh had “a lot in common” and that he was everything she was looking for on paper without enumerating what those things were.

Maybe they got into an in-depth conversation about that stuff while they were massaging each other’s asses during their “butt facials” (I googled it, these are actually a thing), but probably not.

The main purpose of the activity was obviously to annoy Austin when Josh and Chelsea returned from the date and told everyone at the bar about their mutual butt fondling.

Mind you, Austin didn’t spend all his time fretting while they were gone. You’ll recall that he had described Tessa as his “type” when she joined the cast last week so, on the theory that he had to test his connection with Chelsea, Austin approached Tessa for a talk and a smooch.

It was less shakeup than fake-out, however, since it didn’t sway Austin’s focus from Chelsea or Tessa’s from Joey.

Joey Kirchner and Tessa Tookes were still into each other on “Bachelor in Paradise.”

As Tessa put it, “I feel actually not super weirded out by the fact that he just kissed Maria and I just kissed Austin. I know in my heart Joey’s connection with me is much stronger and more meaningful and something he wants to pursue.”

Sure, which makes the fact that Joey went to Maria to hash out once and for all whether they were more than friends seem like just another production trick.

But back to Austin and Chelsea.

They didn’t kiss and make up, so to speak, right away. Austin was pissed after hearing that Chelsea smooched Josh. As he put it, “Like what the fuck? I’m coming in with 12 days of me being vulnerable and being the best version of myself that I could be towards you and he just needs a butt facial to do that shit?”

This seems like an accurate summary to me, but Chelsea took issue with Austin’s language and said he was giving “controlling vibes.” She also claimed she wanted more time to talk to Josh and might kiss him again.

Austin seemed genuinely hurt, so perhaps he was not in the loop on the scheme, or just taken aback the fake connection went a little farther than expected.

It was Chelsea’s turn to get annoyed when Austin said he had made out with Tessa multiple times (I think he was exaggerating there), so Chelsea twisted the knife, saying about Josh, “His tongue was in my mouth, if you want clarification.”

Listen, I didn’t need to know that, never mind Austin.

Austin Tinsley and Chelsea Vaughn, still Canadian Paradise’s No. 1 couple.

Both Austin and Chelsea dutifully said in their in-the-moment interviews that they were questioning whether their relationship was salvageable. Chelsea was still (claiming to be?) pissed at Austin the next day for being insecure and petty, and Austin apologized for making her feel rough and not giving her space.

And then — what do you know? — after Josh belatedly realized that he’d been massaging Chelsea’s bum the day after it had been in the boom boom room with Austin, he told her he didn’t want to mess things up between the two of them. Also, he had kissed Maria and found “the passion” he was looking for.

And conveniently, Chelsea suddenly realized that she didn’t want to lose Austin. It only took an hour of screen time for her to get to that place, about an hour longer than everyone watching.

At the cocktail party, Austin and Chelsea were back to kissing and snuggling and laughing. Austin even let the L-word slip in a roundabout way when he said, “I know Joey (is) falling in love too.”

So faux crisis averted: Austin and Chelsea are still Paradise’s No. 1 couple.

Josh’s part in the disruption narrative wasn’t done though.

Even though his rose was clearly bound for Maria, he claimed to be torn after Nithisha laid some very deep kisses on him. As Paige said, they were “sucking face.”

Nithisha gave it her best shot, but the fix was in for Maria.

You know who didn’t kiss for once? Cole and Lisa. They decided they were going to give their bonds with Sam and Connor a chance, and step away from each other.

Now, if you’ve been watching these last six weeks, you’ll have noticed that Sam seems to be more into Cole than he into her, and ditto with Connor and Lisa, or at least it’s been edited that way.

But Cole and Sam decided to take their connection to the next level by visiting the boom boom room. And according to Joey, whose room was nearby, there was “some boom boom for sure.”

Lisa Mancini, centre right, with Paige Allen, has given up on Cole Medders for now.

That didn’t sit well with Lisa, who wouldn’t even speak to Cole the next night when they were both sitting at the bar, and said his actions had pushed her closer to Connor.

There was one genuine surprise among all the predictable couplings: Matia and Celine. The former had disengaged from Maria after not feeling a spark; the latter had been dumped by Joey, and she and Matia had been hanging out as friends ever since.

But they started kissing and then laughing about it, and I have to say it was pretty sweet. It was also fun hearing the gasps at the rose ceremony when Matia gave Celine a kiss after handing over his rose. Who’d have thunk they’d become one of the more adorable couples in Paradise?

As for the rest of the roses, they went as expected: Joey’s to Tessa; Garrett’s to Meagan; Edward’s to Ana; Cole’s to Sam; Austin’s to Chelsea; Connor’s to Lisa and, yes, Josh’s to Maria.

That left Nithisha and Paige as the odd women out. Nithisha exited expressing confidence she would find her person. “Party Paige,” who earlier thanked her cast mates for making Paradise “one of the best fucking times of my life,” left drinking champagne.

Next week, various cast members find themselves in “pickles,” including Ana and Lisa, who says she doesn’t know how she feels about Connor. Tessa and Maria are beefing over Joey. New arrival Juan Pablo hits the beach (no, not that Juan Pablo). And Cole tells Sam he’s not falling in love.

You can watch next Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: ‘wild Joey’ runs free on the beach

June 6, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Joey Kirchner went on Date No. 3 with Tessa Tookes. ALL PHOTOS CITYTV

There was a “dumpster fire” on the beach, a shit show, a storm brewing, it was “orgy island” and wild horses were running loose on Monday’s “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.” Choose your metaphor.

Basically, it was another episode full of wayward lips although the show at least made it past first base, so to speak, when Austin and Chelsea went to the boom boom room, more on that later.

This was Episode 5 and I don’t think I’ve seen a group of people less likely to commit on a “Bachelor” show. And we can’t blame age, since the youngest cast members have already come and gone. Some of these folks are pushing or past 30.

Exhibit A was Joey, who decided to bust up his pairing with Celine by kissing both Paige and Sam. In the case of Sam, he did it where Celine could see them; heck, where everybody could see them: right at the bar.

When Cole, Sam’s No. 1, showed up, it turned into a smooching quartet, with Sam bizarrely demanding that Cole kiss Lisa while Sam continued swapping spit with Joey — hence bartender Kevin Wendt’s “orgy island” comment.

The so-called weirdness might have ended there except that Joey and Sam kept kissing — Joey described them as “two wild horses” — and Celine wouldn’t let it pass.

As much as everyone’s all “you have to kiss everybody in Paradise” this season, Celine was genuinely hurt, not least because she considered Sam a friend.

At first, Sam appeared utterly remorseless, telling Celine she did it because it felt right and “my core relationship feels so fluid that I just feel like I can do whatever the fuck I want.” Sam, who usually has plenty to say about Lisa trying to “steal” her man, didn’t apologize until the next day.

Celine Paquette and Joey Kirchner before Joey went rogue.

At least Joey — who admitted in his in-the-moment interview that he was being a “shitty, fucking dude” — finally told Celine outright that it wasn’t going to happen for them.

You know who else it wasn’t happening for? Maria and Matia, not that we didn’t know that almost from the get-go.

Since the men now had the roses and the power, Matia felt comfortable confessing that he didn’t feel a true connection with Maria, who complained somewhat comically to Lisa and Sam, “Stupid hockey player, like I literally only date doctors.”

None of those on the beach that I can see.

But the women of Paradise weren’t done with Matia. Paige took a run at him.

She had rejected Joey despite his kissing abilities because she didn’t want to bust up him and Celine, and she had no time for Connor since he lacked “big dick energy” — yeah, I played it back a couple of times and I’m pretty sure that’s what she said.

But Matia? “Love the tats, love the bod.”

Matia wasn’t loving Paige, however, and since he didn’t have to grovel for a rose told her so right away. Whereas Maria’s answer to Matia’s rejection was tears and self-blame, Paige’s was to go on the attack.

“Don’t have your wall so fucking high. You’re a heartbreaker,” Paige protested. When Matia countered that he doesn’t lead girls on (well, unless he needs a rose), Paige called him jaded. Also, “I’m calling you on your bullshit and you don’t like to hear it.”

And then she ranted in her ITM: “Get him the fuck out of the show, get him the fuck out of here. Like why is he here?”

“Good luck, Matia!” she screeched as Matia walked away, and Austin and Chelsea doubled over in laughter.

Pssst, Paige, pretty sure he’s not the one going home.

Also seemingly on the chopping block was Nithisha.

Garrett Aida seemed to finally choose Meagan Morris over Nithisha Ketheeswaran.

It looked like Garrett, her only romantic interest, was in her rearview, given all the canoodling he was doing with Meagan. And Sam tried to seal the deal by pulling Garrett aside to tell him that Nithisha was being “strategic.” There’s that word again.

The thing is: “Bachelor in Paradise” is essentially a game, especially the way it’s being played this season. The rules say you have to be coupled up or you go home, so are you trying to tell me that nobody else on the entire beach is thinking about strategy when they cosy up to somebody to get a rose?

That’s absurd.

Also absurd was Garrett declaring, “I need to know for myself what the truth is because I demand loyalty.” Like the loyalty he showed when he was two-timing Nithisha with Meagan, you mean?

This whole Nithisha plot seems like something manufactured by production to ensure there’s a villain arc.

And I don’t want to get too woke here, but it’s not exactly a good look that a group of mostly white woman are talking crap about the sole remaining South Asian cast member.

Nithisha is no shrinking violet, however, and defended herself to both the other women and Garrett, which then got spun around in Garrett’s ITM to Nithisha being manipulative. Make of that what you will.

And on the subject of romantic triangles, could Cole please choose between Sam and Lisa already?

On the one hand he told Lisa he could picture being with her in the “real world.” But then he told Sam she was “still my person” and he needed to break things off with Lisa. Except in his ITM he said he might not be telling Sam the truth. And THIS IS EXHAUSTING! JUST PICK!

Even if he does choose Sam though, that guarantees nothing.

Chelsea Vaughn and Austin Tinsley: together today, maybe not tomorrow.

Just look at Austin and Chelsea, who’ve been a seemingly committed couple almost since day one. They became the first to visit the boom boom room. (No, we didn’t see it, this isn’t Playa Escondida in Mexico.)

What great timing then for Austin to decide he was interested in new arrival Tessa Tookes. You put out for your “Paradise” boyfriend and he wants to take a helicopter ride with another woman.

Austin had to stay grounded, however, since Tessa, a Week 2 cast-off from Clayton Echard’s “Bachelor” season, chose Joey to accompany her in the whirlybird.

This was Joey’s third date so he is now officially the Bachelor of Paradise.

Joey, Tessa said, “just has this je ne sais quoi and he’s just really hot.”

For his part, Joey kept describing Tessa, a musician living in Brooklyn, as “cool.” He claimed she was the only woman he had genuinely felt anything for in Paradise.

Make of that what you will since, if the promo is to be believed, Tessa will be making out with Austin next week. (Also, a mea culpa here. I forgot a cardinal rule of promos, which is that they are meant to be misleading, so last week I said incorrectly that Austin would go on the helicopter date with Tessa.)

Josh Guvi is back. Does this mean a reprieve for Maria Garcia-Sanchez?

There was one more new arrival before episode’s end, although we have to wait till next week to see who he takes on his date: Josh Guvi, a Vancouver filmmaker and returning “Bachelor In Paradise Canada” cast member who apparently is Chelsea’s type.

He’s also Maria’s and, after feeling some sparks with her last season, kept in touch with her after the show. But does the fact we see Maria teary-eyed in the promo (again) and apparently kissing Joey (again) mean she’s SOL when it comes to Josh?

And will Sam and Cole really make it to the boom boom room and will that mean the end of his flirtation with Lisa?

You can find out next Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: Follow the bouncing lips

May 23, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Joey Kirchner and Celine Paquette are hell-bent for leather in the first
“Bachelor in Paradise Derby.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Citytv

I don’t blame you if, after watching Monday’s episode of “Bachelor in Paradise Canada,” you feel as if you were being bounced around on one of the inflatable horses in the Bachelor in Paradise Derby.

To quote the eminently quotable Joey as he prepared to bounce to victory: “Hold on tight, honey, we’re about to go.”

And go the cast did: bouncing back and forth between kissing partners.

Austin and Chelsea seem like the only safe bet on the beach so far, although I would have said that last season about Brendan and Illeana, so I reserve the right to be skeptical.

Let’s start with ex-“Survivor” contestant Cole Medders, one of the hottest commodities on the beach.

He gave Sam his rose last week despite being pursued by both Celine, who’s now with Joey, and Rianna, who’s now gone. So he and Sam are solid now, right? Right?

If by solid you mean they both kissed other people — more than once — this episode, then sure, like a rock.

It started with Cole smooching Lisa and not feeling particularly guilty about it. He ‘fessed up to Sam right away, who lied and said it didn’t bother her. But I’m thinking Sam calling Lisa “toxic” in her in-the-moment interview is a dead giveaway that she was pissed.

(And did I mention Sam and Lisa were roommates at the Christie’s Mill Inn and Spa in Port Severn, Ont.? So awkward?)

Lisa Mancini is “trying to live Paradise as it should be lived,” lips first.

Sam claimed it was about Lisa feeling threatened by Sam and wanting to make her feel like shit. Me, I don’t think it has anything to do with Sam.

“This is my year in Paradise, so I’m living it the way I want to live it, to the fullest,” Lisa said.

You know who didn’t pretend to be OK with Lisa kissing Cole? Quartney.

“I’m disgusted. I do not like a girl who’s making out with multiple dudes. This is not OK,” Quartney huffed in his ITM.

Dude, do you know what you signed up for? I know you were on “Bachelorette” and not “Bachelor in Paradise,” but tell me you’ve at least watched the show.

“You’re making me sound slutty,” Lisa complained to Quartney, who didn’t seem apologetic about that.

“Why can’t you just see something with me? Like, can we not just try this?” Quartney pleaded. “We keep getting distracted because of you.”

Pssst, Quartney, maybe it’s you and your possessiveness that are the issue.

As Connor, Lisa’s other sometime kissing partner, put it the next day, “You don’t own her . . . We’re in Paradise to explore connections with people and part of that is kissing people.”

Yes, and that’s something that Sam seemed to get . . . when it was her kissing someone else.

She perked up considerably when newcomer Jake Ondrus, a 22-year-old personal trainer and holistic nutritionist, asked her on a date. To be fair, she wasn’t the only one eyeballing him. Jake was practically giving “Bachelor” vibes as he sat on a couch surrounded by eager women.

Sam Picco and new arrival Jake Ondrus were digging each other’s energy.

Sam said they went “really deep really fast,” which apparently had something to do with Jake talking about “mind, body, soul connection” and Sam saying she was an “empath” and a “manifester.”

On their date, they manifested sexy time on a Harley Davidson, dressing up in leathers, including hot pants and a bikini top for Sam and, eventually, no shirt for Jake. And as they straddled the bike for a photo shoot, face to face, there was inevitably some kissing, quite a lot of it actually.

So was Sam really thinking about Cole “constantly” on her date, even when she kissed Jake “20 times”? Unknown.

Was Cole thinking about Sam when he kissed Lisa again?

Cole defended himself to Sam by pointing out that she was on a date — a kissing cousin of the infamous “We were on a break” defence from “Friends” perhaps?

He insisted he was excited to build on his relationship with Sam, but I can’t blame Sam for being uncertain where she stands with Cole.

A couple more couples were on the chopping block.

Raise your hand if you’re surprised that Meagan dumped Matia. No takers? I thought not.

Meagan wanted Matia to be “open” with her. Matia wanted her to be patient with his reluctance to be fully himself, which is presumably someone besides a “cabana douche babe.” Meagan was out of patience. She decided to hang with Garrett instead, who had allegedly soured on Nithisha for kissing Edward and not telling him.

Garrett Aida and Meagan Morris coupled up — for now anyway.

Garrett even got teary-eyed in front of Meagan talking about his parents’ divorce, so openness wasn’t an issue there. And it was Meagan with whom he partnered on a bouncy horse for the Paradise Derby.

Still, their newfound connection didn’t nullify Garrett’s desire to smooch Nithisha, but I guess that’s a triangle for another day.

Matia had to find a new place to park his lips and that turned out to be Maria.

The notoriously kissing-shy Maria found the “fire” she’d been missing with other people after smooching with Matia. Too bad for her Matia wasn’t feeling the connection back, but with a rose on the line he was willing to fake it.

Maria had already friend-zoned Connor earlier in the episode, giving Lisa her permission to pursue the American “Paradise” alum. I confess I’m shipping Lisa and Connor, but Lisa wasn’t exactly all in.

Sure, she kissed Connor and said she felt like “a schoolgirl with a crush,” but she chose Jake as her derby partner.

“I know I’m not the tallest, hottest guy here. I’m different,” lamented Connor. “I just want to be wanted like everybody wants.”

Damn it, somebody want Connor already.

Joey Kirchner shows that real men snuggle goats.

So, about the derby, which was basically an extended promotion for the BetRivers online casino. There was also a petting zoo with cute bunnies, goats, donkeys, alpacas and even a camel. And everybody wore foam “cowboy leprechaun hats,” in Austin’s words.

There was a race on those inflatable horses and, despite a photo finish with Cole and Sam, Joey and Celine won. I mean, did you think the cowboy was going to lose?

Their “very special prize” was basically a date in a suite — not a fantasy suite, mind you — and a serenade by Canadian singer Tyler Shaw who, mercifully, did not sing anything country.

But despite the candles, the wine and the dancing, Joey and Celine weren’t taking things to the next level, so to speak.

Celine said things were still “surface” between her and Joey; Joey said he was hesitant to push forward with Celine.

Chances are they’ll make it through the next rose ceremony, whenever that is. Beyond that, who knows?

There are other important questions to be answered, like, is there a boom boom room this season or does everybody have to sneak into the sauna like last season?

Next week, Ana Cruz is back along with a new blond contestant who describes herself as “your worst nightmare”; Lisa is in a triangle with Connor and Jake; Maria has words with Nithisha; and it looks like Quartney, who has decided that none of the women are there for the “right reasons,” not just Lisa, will finally take his marbles and go home.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: Triangles on the beach

May 16, 2023 / Debra Yeo

The “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” cast ahead of Tuesday’s rose ceremony. Three of the women were gone by episode’s end. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Citytv

Welcome to “Bachelor in Paradise Canada,” Spin the Bottle edition.

I jest, of course. The bottles are either behind the bar with Kevin Wendt or set up on tables during dates for prime product placement. And nobody on the beach was actually playing a teenage kissing game. But there were some serious wandering lips on Monday’s episode.

Take Joey Kirchner, for instance, returning conquering Canadian hero.

It seems he was more hot for the red Ferrari on last week’s date than for fan Shaz Gafoor, even though he kissed her and not the car. “My rose is going to the Ferrari,” Joey joked.

And yes, Joey smooched Shaz again before the rose ceremony, but next thing you know he was on a beach bed with Celine who, after being disappointed by Cole, was vibing wth Joey’s “Alberta charm.”

Celine Paquette and Joey Kirchner get acquainted on Tuesday.

“Joey’s looking like Tim McGraw up in here,” she said. Well, sure, Tim’s still got the abs, I guess.

It wasn’t long before Joey and Celine were using their lips for something besides talking.

Joey ended up giving his rose to Celine and cutting Shaz loose — she wasn’t mad about it — since Shaz was “the horse whisperer,” but Celine was “the horse you’re riding.”

Except Joey was back in the saddle the next day with — wait for it! — Maria.

Somewhere, Vay Paquette — the woman who coupled up with Joey and got insanely jealous of his “friend” Maria last season — is yelling, “I told you so!”

Joey had already admitted during the “Paradise bonfire” that he’d had past dalliances with both Maria and Nithisha. So that’s what Nithisha meant by going out with friends “and stuff.” Hell, the Bachelor Nation hookups at Stagecoach have nothing on this gang.

Maria herself described her connection to Joey as “a really complicated relationship.” But at least she was willing to kiss him — her first kiss in Paradise, no less — which is more than she was willing to do with either Quartney or Connor initially.

Speaking of those two rivals for Lisa Mancini’s affections, both still seemed to be in play in Tuesday’s episode.

American “Bachelorette” alum Quartney had spotted Lisa kissing better known “Bachelorette” alum Connor Brennan the day after Lisa and Quartney’s supposedly “incredible” date.

Was a pissed off Quartney going to withhold his rose from Lisa Mancini? Nah.

Quartney brought it up at the bonfire — more on that event later — and made his displeasure known to Lisa the next day. He even intimated that he might be “done” with Lisa and his rose was up for grabs.

Well, first off, Lisa is one of the season’s stars so you really think the producers would let her go home in the second episode? Secondly, Quartney’s backup plan was apparently Maria, but that fizzled pretty quickly when Maria dodged his kiss. So back to Plan A then?

As for Connor, he took Lisa for a walk, under Quartney’s watchful eye. But despite Lisa’s admiration for “handsome, charming, quirky, funny” Connor, she refused to make out with him.

Lisa was taken, so Connor Brennan tried his charm on Maria Garcia-Sanchez.

So Connor’s Plan B was . . . yep, Maria. Despite how “easy and fun and effortless” things were with Lisa, he found Maria “wildly attractive.” And she accepted his rose at the rose ceremony despite not smooching him beforehand.

The next day, however, the kissing-adverse Maria laid one on Connor — before pulling away and giggling, which seems to be her MO. “You’re very cute, Connor,” she said: not exactly a ringing endorsement, especially since Maria said in her ITM interview she was still in her head about Joey.

So let’s run down the other triangles and, in Cole’s case, quadrangles.

It wasn’t bad enough that ex-“Survivor” player Cole Medders was already torn between fan contestants Sam and Celine. Ex-“Bachelor” alum Rianna decided to make an 11th hour play for Cole.

I think in the game of football that’s called a Hail Mary, except in Rianna’s case it was more like a “no chance in hell.”

It was too little too late for Rianna Hockaday and Cole Medders.

Not that Cole didn’t like Rianna — he said she was “very much my type of person” — and when they kissed they were “in sync,” according to Rianna. But was that really enough to sway Cole from giving his rose to Sam? Nah.

For one thing, I suspect former “Big Brother Canada” contestant Sam is someone the producers want to keep around, partly for entertainment value, partly because there’s some drama brewing between her and Lisa.

Questioned by special guest Demi Burnett at that bonfire I keep mentioning as to whether anyone in Paradise was giving off “toxic vibes,” Sam chose Lisa, saying she gave “backhanded compliments.”

OK, sure Sam.

So let’s talk about the bonfire and “Hurricane Demi,” whose arrival coincided with a storm in Paradise — or that’s how it was edited.

Some umbrellas and cushions blew around; a Muskoka chair caught fire; Demi’s top blew apart: “My titties are flailing,” she said.

But the “Bachelor in Paradise” alum’s arrival and the bonfire she presided over with host Sharleen Joynt were less hurricane than tempest in a teapot. Let’s move on.

We haven’t really talked about the rose ceremony yet, which came in the middle of the episode. We already know where Joey’s, Quartney’s, Connor’s and Cole’s roses went. Austin’s went to Chelsea Vaughn, no surprise there. Matia’s went to Meagan. And Garrett’s went to Nithisha.

Fans Shaz and Linda Charlie joined Rianna on the boat to nowhere. Sorry ladies. I’m pretty sure, unlike last season’s “Bachelor in Paradise” U.S., nobody’s being brought back to the beach and, even if they were, I’m afraid it wouldn’t be any of you.

With the power of the rose switching to the women, it was time to bring some new men to the resort. And along came “Big Brother Canada” alum Godfrey Mangwiza and U.S. “Bachelorette” alum Edward Naranjo (Michelle’s season), with date cards in hand naturally.

Nithisha Ketheeswaran was feeling it with “Bachelorette” alum Edward Naranjo.

They chose Lisa and Nithisha, respectively, to go on an ASMR date, which stands for autonomous sensory meridian response. Basically the women were in one sound booth, the men in another, and they whispered and made sound effects into microphones shaped like ears that travelled into the headphones of their dates.

Godfrey said ASMR is “on the line between sexy and weird,” which sounds about right. But whereas Godfrey found Lisa’s sound effects “cute,” Edward found sexual chemistry in Nithisha’s.

So no new competition for Quartney then, but Garrett, who knows Edward from Michelle’s season? Well, hmmm, Nithisha was already vibing with Edward over the fact he seemed to like camping and hiking as much as she did. When they sat down for drinks and he whispered, “I would really love to feel your lips” into her ear in Spanish, it was “Garrett who?”

Yes, there was mucho smooching, although Nithisha failed to volunteer that information when she met up with Garrett later. In fact, she said she didn’t feel “a spark” with Edward, that she was thinking of Garrett the whole time and she was almost certain Garrett was the “right one” for her.

Girl, what?

The truth about the smooch was outed when Joey asked Edward at the bar, in front of Garrett, if he had kissed Nithisha. Her response to Garrett when he confronted her: “If you’d asked me I would have said yeah.” Oh dear.

I feel for her, I do.

Nobody should be getting all that possessive at this stage of the game, but Nithisha probably should have ‘fessed up about the kiss to Garrett on her own. But where would be the fun in that for the producers, I guess?

Next week, cute animals! And holy hell, is that Lisa kissing Cole? Also, a new guy named Jake walks in and seems to have the women’s hearts aflutter.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise recap: Well, we have Brandon and Serene

November 23, 2022 / Debra Yeo

“Bachelor in Paradise” cast members: from left front row, Logan Palmer, Andrew Spencer, Genevieve Parisi, Shanae Ankney and Rodney Mathews; from left back row, Jacob Rapini, *Sierra Jackson,* *Kira Mengistu* and *Romeo Alexander*. PHOTO CREDIT: All L.A. photos Eric McCandless/ABC

When the going gets tough after “Bachelor in Paradise,” apparently the tough go to Italy.

That was one takeaway from the second part of the Season 8 finale on Tuesday. That’s where two of the women — Brittany Galvin and Victoria Fuller — hightailed it when they broke up with their “Paradise” sweeties.

Who is to blame for those breakups is sure to be a subject of much contention among Bachelor Nation.

Both Tyler Norris and Johnny DePhillipo seemed heartbroken onstage with host Jesse Palmer during the live portion of the finale. Brittany and Victoria, not so much, although Victoria did get close to tears at one point. Accusations were exchanged by the ex-lovebirds. Closure was elusive. I’ll have more to say on the he said-she said of it all later.

Thankfully we came out of this slog of a season with some nice things: Brandon Jones and Serene Russell are engaged and still deliriously in love; Michael Allio finally told Danielle Maltby he loved her, onstage no less; Jacob Rapini and Jill Chin are going to give it another try; Kira Mengistu and Romeo Alexander — remember them? — are still dating.

It’s not exactly a love-a-palooza, but we’ll take it.

I’m not gonna make like the producers and rehash the season in highlight reel after highlight reel, but here’s what went down on the final episode.

Pssst, you know they can hear you, right?

Logan Palmer, who’s gone from sort of villain on Gabby’s and Rachel’s “Bachelorette” season to wronged man on “Paradise,” got to confront erstwhile squeeze Kate, who’d spent much of the latter part of their relationship dissing Logan behind his back for not being wealthy enough for her.

Kate told Logan she hated that he had heard her “concerns,” that she had been talking “to my girlfriends in private,” and that it wasn’t really about what car he drove or which gym he could afford, but “you weren’t ready for the type of serious partnership I’m looking for.”

Logan reminded her that there were “cameras everywhere, we were wearing mics” and that he, in fact, had a career he was proud of in TV production despite spending a year as a scuba instructor and dog walker to make ends meet.

“I wish you did say it to me,” he told Kate. “It would have cleared a lot of things up. It would have really showed who you were.”

Yeah, feels like we all have a pretty good idea now of who Kate is.

Jacob Rapini and *Jill Chin* kissed and made up.

Tarzan finds his Jane?

Speaking of Kate, you’ll recall that Jacob Rapini threw over Jill Chin for her — even though Kate had already discarded him for Logan — which seemed like a really bad call. Jacob acknowledged he had messed up and, striding across the stage to take Jill’s hands, told her he wanted to try again. She did too. They kissed and Jacob carried her off the stage to the cheers of the audience.

I hope those two weirdos — and I mean that in the most affectionate way — can make it work.

Two wrongs don’t make a reconciliation

One of the more annoying bits of producer manipulation this season was letting rose reject Justin Glaze come back to the beach to pursue Eliza Isichei, who seemed to be in a solid relationship with Rodney Mathews.

Eliza vacillated between the two, finally gave a rose to Rodney and then declared the next morning that she’d made a mistake, leaving Paradise to pursue Justin in Baltimore, who in turn rejected her.

On Tuesday, Eliza said that, oops, she’d made a mistake when she said she made a mistake and she still had feelings for Rodney. But Rodney was having none of it.

“I’ll never forget how I felt in those moments, so hurt and humiliated in front of everyone. That’s something that hurts me to this day,” Rodney said. “But I feel like I’m finally getting better in my healing and coming back to life.”

Once bitten, twice shy, as it were.

Remind me again why this man isn’t our new Bachelor?

Jesse Palmer, Genevieve Parisi and Aaron Clancy: not arguing for a change.

He’s sorry, that’s facts

Genevieve Parisi and Aaron Clancy, who had the most volatile relationship in Paradise, shared the hot seat after not having seen each other since the day they broke up on the beach — with another argument, naturally.

They apologized to each other: her for being “emotionally reactive” to the things Aaron said; he for being “prideful,” “foolish” and “ignorant to your feelings.”

They hugged it out, but someone slap them if they ever consider getting back together.

Tyler Norris and Brittany Galvin have a not entirely cordial chat in the hot seat.

He said, she said Part 1

Next, it was Tyler’s turn in the hot seat and he seemed to struggle at times to hold back tears. He said Brittany broke up with him by FaceTime from Italy the same day we all watched him get dumped by Rachel Recchia on “The Bachelorette.”

When Brittany joined him onstage they had very different views of their parting. Tyler said she had still been telling him every day how much she loved him. Brittany said she had asked to take a break, but Tyler kept Snapchatting and DMing her. “It was too much,” she said.

So was she driven away by an overly clingy boyfriend or was he deceived by a duplicitous girlfriend? I lean toward the former since I can’t help recalling how intense Tyler was when he talked to Rachel about “unconditional love” and trying to find somebody who “can love as hard as you can.”

Brittany tweeted Tuesday night that she and Tyler had ended things on “mutual terms” and she was blindsided onstage, which was why she seemed “cold-hearted.”

Michael Allio gets emotional after telling Danielle Maltby he loves her.

Worth the move to Akron?

Phew, Michael Allio and Danielle Maltby are still together.

The promo for Tuesday’s episode was edited in such a way that you might have thought they’d broken up, but it was just stupid producer tricks as usual.

When Michael said, “I didn’t give you the kind of closure that you needed,” he was talking to Sierra Jackson, the woman he was with before Danielle arrived. Sierra very graciously accepted Michael’s apology.

As for him and Danielle, she is moving to Akron, Ohio, to be with Michael — not moving in with him, mind you, although she has met his son, James, a bunch of times.

Asked by Jesse to share final thoughts, widower Michael told Danielle, “You know I only said ‘I love you’ to one person in my entire life, but I love you.”

So maybe we should all stop resenting Michael now for dumping Sierra and for being a producers’ pet, and just cheer on him and Danielle.

Victoria Fuller and Johnny DePhillipo before the wheels fell off. PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC

He said, she said Part 2

At this point, “Bachelor in Paradise” finally went back to Paradise, where we watched Victoria and Johnny get engaged in Mexico. Victoria said she couldn’t imagine her life without Johnny and Johnny said he would have her back no matter what.

And that lasted for what, three weeks? That’s when Victoria said she knew they weren’t going to be engaged anymore “if we are fighting this much, this soon and this toxic.” Although it was bleeped out on air, Victoria said that Johnny had called her a stupid C-word and asked her what she could provide to the relationship if she wouldn’t cook or clean.

Johnny claimed the cooking and cleaning comment was a joke. He also accused Victoria of cheating on him emotionally by talking to someone else while they were still trying to work things out.

That someone, of course, is Greg Grippo, formerly of Katie Thurston’s “Bachelorette” season and Victoria’s new boyfriend.

Greg joined Victoria in the hot seat — after Johnny had left, mercifully — and told Jesse he and Victoria had been friends who ended up “rekindling” in the weeks after Paradise. Then they decided to go for a drink to test things out . . . in Rome because, Victoria said, they couldn’t be seen together in New York or Nashville. Oh yeah, and they got matching tattoos of the word “Ciao” on their arms while they were there so I guess the test went well.

While this conversation was going on, production kept cutting to the parking lot where Tyler was commiserating with Johnny, basically about what a liar Victoria was.

I honestly have no idea if Victoria is a liar, if Johnny is a misogynist or who’s telling the truth. Social media certainly seems to be on Johnny’s side.

But Victoria said, “Everyone can hate us if they fucking want. I don’t give two fucks because I’ve got this bleep” (no idea what that third bleep was) and there you have it.

Serene Russell and Brandon Jones get engaged in Mexico.

The only love story that really mattered

Throughout the disappointments of the season, Brandon and Serene were our rock. They never so much as looked at anyone else on the beach. They never fought. They were steadfast in their desire to be together. So yes, they got engaged after exchanging heartfelt speeches in which they pledged undying love to each other. Brandon teared up just watching Serene walk across the sand toward him, for heaven’s sake.

They did, however, decline Jesse’s offer to marry them right there on the beach.

As Brandon explained, “we’re so family oriented to the point that our family has to be there.” Makes sense to me.

So yes, this interminable season of “Bachelor in Paradise” is finally over. “The Bachelor” begins Jan. 23 and bad news, Victoria haters, she was in the promo. She will be on Zach Shallcross’s season for reasons I can’t yet fathom.

I haven’t decided yet if I will recap it, although who am I kidding? It’s like a cult. I can’t seem to get out. But I will definitely recap “Bachelor in Paradise Canada,” which is supposedly coming soon.

Till then, you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise recap: That beach sure emptied fast

November 22, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Last couples standing: Brandon Jones and Serene Russell, and Johnny DePhillipo and Victoria Fuller. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos screen grabs

So this is it? This is what we spent nine weeks and soon-to-be 16 episodes of “Bachelor in Paradise” for? One lousy engagement?

Since we’ve only seen Night 1 of the two-part finale, I know that technically nobody is engaged yet. But if Brandon and Serene don’t put a ring on it Tuesday, it really will be the most shocking finale ever.

And I also know, because I broke my own rule and read a spoiler, that Johnny and Victoria supposedly also get engaged on Tuesday’s final episode, but nobody cares because — SPOILER ALERT! — they’ve already broken up and she’s allegedly dating Greg Grippo (Katie’s “Bachelorette” season).

So I repeat: one engagement.

Considering the lengths producers went this season to mess with relationships — sending the women away in a “Love Island”-style twist, letting people who’d been sent home come back to chase people who were already coupled up — I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised this is what it came to. But it’s a pretty crappy reward for sticking it out with the worst “Paradise” season yet.

Ahead of Monday’s final rose ceremony, there were eight couples remaining plus Mara, who announced to everyone else, “I think I’m gonna have to take myself out of Paradise.” I’m sorry, are you still here?

The producers did their best to make the rose ceremony a dramatic one by cancelling the cocktail party — this after host Jesse Palmer made a point of telling all the couples they had to think carefully about the state of their relationships and whether they were ready to get engaged. But just don’t talk to the other person while you’re thinking about it.

Despite that, there was only one crash and burn: Logan and Kate, and let’s not pretend we’re surprised.

Logan, bless him, told Kate, “I still believe in you and me” before offering her his rose.

Logan Palmer before Kate Gallivan rejected his rose with one last lecture.

Kate noted that Logan had told her she was “critical, looked down on you, not warm enough and stimulated by the drama.” And your point is?

“In reality, those are projections that I feel from you,” Kate said. “And when Jesse told us earlier to ask ourselves if we were happy or in love, the answer for those questions for me is no. I know what I want and this isn’t it.”

Ouch.

After Kate climbed into the SUV of Shame she basically insulted Logan’s penis size as well as his income. Instead of their relationship being an uphill battle, she said, they should have been “dry-humping in the corner” (or maybe the pool, which is what she did with Jacob, although I guess really that’s wet-humping).

“Please God, bring me a grown-ass man with a big *bleep* and a bigger bank account,” Kate said.

Good luck with that.

The next day it was time for the usual “Paradise is over” speech that always marks this point in the season. Fantasy suites were coming up, yada yada. If the couples weren’t ready to be engaged there was the door, etc. And the dominos began to fall.

The most elegant breakup belonged to twin Justin and Florence.

“At the moment, I think we shouldn’t pursue things outside of Paradise,” he said.

“Yeah, I agree,” said Flo.

Done and dusted.

It wasn’t as easy for his brother, Joey. Shanae tearfully rambled on about how the age gap scared her — he’s 24, she’s 30 — how he wasn’t independent enough since he still lived with his parents, how he was doing TikToks all over the place and she wanted a “man” — insulting Joey more with every utterance.

But honestly, I’m surprised the twins lasted past their first night, never mind to the last day of Paradise.

Three guesses for who had the messiest break-up and the first two don’t count: Come on down, Aaron and Genevieve. You think they were going to go without one last pointless argument?

You didn’t think Genevieve Parisi and Aaron Clancy were going to stay a couple, did you?

Essentially, Aaron said that because Genevieve had packed her bags and tried to leave twice when they’d had disagreements he couldn’t trust her to give him the security he needed, even though he claimed to love her.

But hey, he told her she looked beautiful and he wished her the best.

Genevieve responded with silence, which seemed like the right way to go, but then changed her mind and went back to confront Aaron, accusing him of trying to put all the blame for the breakup on her. And to be fair, it did sound like that, but I also kind of agree with Aaron: what was the point of bringing it up?

Eventually Genevieve left for real. “Third time’s the charm,” she said.

Also, in a callback to their famous itching vs. pain argument, she said: “It doesn’t pain me, but it makes my brain itch. I just wasted my time on a child and that’s a big fact.”

Two other couples agreed not to get engaged but left the beach together: Tyler and Brittany, and Michael and Danielle.

Tyler and Brittany said they loved each other; Michael and Danielle did not.

Michael Allio and Danielle Maltby left Paradise together.

Widower Michael did not definitively say he was ready to love again, but he showed Danielle the compass he’d had made just before his wife died, which he always carries with him, and said, “I can’t help but think this compass brought me to you.” He also said he was excited to introduce Danielle to his son, James, “when the time is right,” and that his late wife, Laura, would have loved Danielle.

So it seemed like a pretty promising exit, except the promo for Tuesday’s finale suggests things didn’t stay promising for Michael and Danielle but, then again, that could just be editing.

But if Michael did dump Danielle after all the special treatment he got this season we’d better not see him on a Bachelor show ever again.

Finally, just two couples were left and headed for fantasy suites: Brandon and Serene, and Victoria and Johnny.

Brandon and Serene, they’ve got this. They’ve been dropping the L-word all over Paradise; they’ve already said they want to spend their lives together. They are obviously the couple that Jesse is talking to in the promo when he tells them they can get married right there on the beach.

“I don’t even have a second thought in my mind that this isn’t gonna work out,” Serene told Brandon in the fantasy suite. Me neither.

As for Victoria and Johnny, like I said, who cares since we already know they’re not going to work out?

In the fantasy suite, Johnny was still shying away from a proposal whereas Victoria still wanted one as badly as ever. But if I was Johnny, I’d be more concerned about the self-loathing he is apparently harbouring.

He told Victoria, “Even just when it comes to looking at myself in a mirror, I just hate everything about me.”

Dude, get some therapy before you put a ring on anything or anyone.

And that’s where we’re at until Tuesday night when it will all be over except for the acrimony at the reunion. Frankly, I would expect nothing less than a shit show after the season we’ve had.

You can watch at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise recap: A painful itch and a ballroom blitz

November 16, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Becca Kufrin and fiancé Thomas Jacobs return to Paradise to buck up morale.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Is itching the same as pain? I have no freakin’ idea, but I can tell you what is painful: watching these last few episodes of “Bachelor in Paradise” Season 8.

A protracted argument between Aaron and Genevieve about whether itching is a low level form of pain — yeah, you can’t make this stuff up — was just one example of the aimless silliness cluttering this week’s two episodes.

Things started off Monday night with a funereal vibe as everyone on the beach continued mourning the departure of Rodney. Look, I think Rodney is great, too. I was disappointed that Eliza gave him a rose and then changed her mind the morning after, but that happened last week so why the heck were we still seeing everyone moping around?

I’m not saying they didn’t mope around but, you know, editing.

To add insult to injury, we were forced to watch footage of Eliza in Baltimore — you are correct, that’s nowhere near Paradise — trying to rekindle her great love, um, I mean her three-day romance with Justin.

And Justin turned her down!

Yeah, she showed up at his door, poured into a pair of jeans and a cute bustier, and he blew her off since she had picked Rodney over him at the rose ceremony!

“I flew across the country for you, I’ve only known you for three days,” Eliza complained after she made her exit.

Sorry Eliza, but that’s on you, as well as on the “Bachelor in Paradise” producers who wasted money and viewers’ time going off resort to pursue a potential love story that nobody gave a crap about.

And then we got back to the beach just in time to see the first of the new women arrive. And I know it’s not uncommon for new arrivals so late in the season but really, what the hell is the point?

First up was Mara from Clayton’s Bachelor season, who likes comparing herself to marinara sauce — because it’s spicy, I guess? Whatever.

She showed up with a date card and a bushel of overconfidence and settled on twin Justin since everybody else she talked to blew her off. This did not sit well with Justin’s current older woman, Florence, who at 31 is two years younger than Mara. Especially after Mara rubbed Flo’s face in it pre-date by boasting, “I just took a shot of tequila and I’m feeling all kinds of ready.”

“Battle of the cougars,” Victoria called it. And I’m sorry, but 30-somethings are not cougars. And why don’t we have a similar name for all the older men out there who chase younger women?

Mara and Justin went on one of those disgusting dates where the participants rub food all over each other’s bodies and thanks Bachelor in Paradise, you’ve now ruined churros for me.

There was some smooching to go with the chocolate sauce but the next day, just as Florence was packing up to leave, Justin decided he preferred her to Mara, which made Mara cry and really? Turning each other into human doughnuts does not a romance make.

On the other hand, Flo, I’m sure you could do much better, too, but she stayed.

And speaking of older women and younger men, beats me why the show is devoting so much time to Kate and Logan, who have about as much chance of forming a lasting relationship as I do of getting through an episode without rolling my eyes.

Kate was still moaning about Logan not being at her level financially. “He drives an orange Honda, he has a broken phone, he’s a dog walker,” she whined.

And listen, if she wants a man to bring home the bacon, fine, but why is she looking on a crab-infested beach in Sayulita, Mexico? I mean, the average contestant age in Paradise is not indicative of a cast full of self-made millionaires.

I actually feel bad for Logan at this point — and he was far from my favourite on Rachel’s and Gabby’s Bachelorette season — because he can’t seem to do anything right for Kate. She said she wants to be “wowed” and was still bellyaching that Logan didn’t forbid her from going on a date with that drip Hayden.

“It feels like you look down on me in some way,” Logan told her at one point in a rare moment of perception.

“I don’t at all,” lied Kate.

Somehow, they still wanted to be with each other but not for lack of sabotage attempts by the devious Bachelor producers.

Two new women came to the beach: Ency and Lyndsey from Clayton’s season — and why are there so many contestants from one of the worst Bachelor seasons ever?

Ency zeroed in on Andrew and, despite the fact she was sent home in Week 2 of “The Bachelor,” he knew who she was, so I guess she was on his list. To Jessenia’s consternation, he agreed to go on a date.

Lyndsey had worse luck but accomplished the goal of stirring up more unease between Logan and Kate.

Logan didn’t say an outright no to Lyndsey’s date card, telling her he had to talk to Kate first, and Kate was “spinning out.” But they got back to hugging and kissing and Lyndsey left because, unlike Mara, she can take a hint.

Rachel Recchia, right, and Gabby Windey, centre, give Kate Gallivan their “expert” opinion on Logan.

But before Logan could get comfortable in his ongoing discomfort with Kate, ex-Bachelorettes Rachel and Gabby showed up. Why? Apparently just so they could trash talk Logan.

Like I said, I was never one of Logan’s biggest fans, but by this stage Kate had spent more time with Logan than Rachel and Gabby combined, so what right did they have to cast aspersions on him?

You might recall Logan was Team Rachel on “The Bachelorette,” then switched to Team Gabby and then disappeared without a trace, allegedly due to getting COVID. “I don’t respect Logan. I don’t think Logan has changed. What are you gonna do?” Rachel challenged Kate.

Well, we had to wait a bit to find out because first we had to endure yet another argument between Aaron and Genevieve, which resulted in Genevieve once again packing her bags and trying to leave.

The crux of it was a disagreement about whether itching is a low level form of pain and I can’t even. I will leave the commentary to other people.

Florence: “I just hope it’s not about an STD.”

Wells: “I feel like this place is making me dumber.”

Bruce, the boom operator: “I’ll tell you what’s causing me pain is having to keep listening to this argument.”

Kudos to whoever showed footage of a raccoon scratching itself and superimposed the word “Ouch.”

Speaking of ouch, once Aaron had gone to once again waylay Genevieve on her way out, he said, “I know when you’re not emotional you are very sweet and you’re very nurturing, and there’s a reason I fell in love with you. When you’re emotional it just takes over everything.”

Red flag! Red flag! Red flag! Run, Genevieve, run!

But she stayed. Again.

In between all the fighting and fussing, we did get some reminders of what Paradise is allegedly about.

Michael and Danielle, while carefully avoiding use of the L-word, affirmed that they really care about each other.

Tyler and Brittany weren’t using the L-word either — at least not to each other’s faces — but they went on a date and they were so sweet together that I really hope they make it work post-Paradise.

And speaking of making it work after Paradise, ex-Bachelorette Becca Kufrin and her Paradise squeeze turned fiancé Thomas Jacobs waltzed in. In honour of the fact that Becca proposed to Thomas, there was going to be a 1990s-themed Sadie Hawkins dance, with the women inviting the men.

Kate claimed she still had to ascertain if Logan was a match long-term before asking him to the dance. And I don’t know how you determine such a thing with one conversation on the beach, but the next thing you know Kate was happy with Logan again.

I’m with Logan, it’s exhausting trying to keep up with Kate’s — dare I say? — flip-flopping.

And then it was time for fun, dancing, smooching! But you knew it wouldn’t last, right?

Andrew Spencer and Jessenia Cruz in a past episode.

Jessenia decided she needed to clear the air with Andrew and who can blame her for wanting some so-called closure, especially since this was her second time caught in a Paradise love triangle (remember Chris and Alana from Season 7)?

Well, Ency, that’s who.

She interrupted Andrew’s and Jessenia’s talk, but Andrew replied, “I have to finish this conversation, give me a sec.”

Instead, Ency kept stewing then walked over a second time, peevishly telling Andrew, “I don’t know what validation you’re giving her, but I’m asking you to please walk away from this with me right now if you care to pursue anything with us.”

Whoa, slow your roll, Ency!

Andrew did not walk away, explaining that he wanted to be friends with Jessenia afterwards. Plus, if they’d stopped talking, we wouldn’t have heard him confess to Jessenia: “My heart’s still with someone else: Teddi.”

To be honest, I had kind of forgotten that Andrew was into Teddi way back at the start of Paradise, until she left because she had feelings for both Andrew and Rodney.

Should Andrew have left after Teddi left? He told Jessenia he stayed because he had “hope” of finding love with someone else. And since we have seen very little footage of Andrew and Jessenia together we have no idea whether or how much he might have led Jessenia on.

But Jessenia left and then Andrew pulled Ency aside to tell her, too, that he was still into Teddi and he couldn’t be in Paradise anymore. And Ency did not take it well.

She cried and grovelled and begged and held on to Andrew to try to prevent him from leaving. Honey, have some self-respect. You’ve known the guy how long?

But leave Andrew did and so did Ency, crying so hard that her words were unintelligible. Was it the booze cry-talking? Not sure.

Anyway, that’s it until next week’s “shocking two-night finale event.” Host Jesse Palmer has teased that someone might even get married on the beach.

You can watch next Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise recap: Rodney and Logan aren’t ‘man’ enough for Eliza and Kate

November 2, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Genevieve Parisi prepares to flee the beach on “Bachelor in Paradise.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos screen grabs

I’m feeling a bit like Genevieve Parisi near the end of Tuesday’s “Bachelor in Paradise,” frustrated and mentally exhausted, dragging her suitcase along, hellbent on escaping a toxic situation.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. “Paradise” is supposed to be the fun “Bachelor” show. We know the producers will manipulate situations to create drama — it’s not like they can help themselves — but it generally doesn’t ruin the naughty, flirty, goofy summertime vibe on the beach or quash the chances of people coupling up, like really coupling up.

But instead of Paradise, this season we’ve got a purgatory where the only imperative seems to be to cause as much chaos as possible, particularly if it means breaking people up.

So this week, after the dust had settled from the show’s “Love Island” ripoff “Casa Amor” twist, they parachuted in a cast member who’d already been sent home just to tempt Eliza away from Rodney. And it seems to be working beyond their wildest dreams.

I mean it’s bad enough that cast members come in with shopping lists of people they want to get with, either because they’ve met them at Stagecoach or slid into their DMs, but at least there were rules. If you didn’t get a rose you went home. If the man or woman of your dreams arrived after you’d already gone, too bad, sucks to be you.

Now, however, not getting a rose is meaningless because producers can bring people back at will to stir up crap. That’s how Justin Glaze ended up back on the beach, hell-bent on pursuing Eliza Isichei.

Rodney Mathews, you’ll recall, ended his romance with Lace after going on a date with Eliza and the two seemed to quickly become one of the “it” couples on the beach, or so we were led to believe.

Eliza Isichei gets cosy with Justin Glaze. Rodney who?

But Eliza was all smiles and giggles after Justin told her he had come back just to meet her, so much so that she apparently forgot all about telling Rodney she wanted to spend quality time with him and agreed to go on a date with Justin.

She was flattered to be pursued by two men, “pursued” being the operative word because when Rodney refused to forbid Eliza from going on the date she got all sullen and resentful, and decided Rodney didn’t care about her that much after all. And I’m sorry, what?

Have we travelled not only to Mexico but decades into the past where men were expected to lay down the law and women to obey?

Because, you know, Eliza could have just said no to Justin if she actually. wanted to nurture her relationship with Rodney instead of expecting him to make the decision for her.

Eliza later claimed her “yes” to Justin had been conditional on getting “clarification” from Rodney. And I’m sorry, what???

As Rodney insisted that Eliza was the only one he wanted and that he would do whatever he needed to do to prove that to her, Eliza continued to act like a sulky teenager. “I hope so,” she said before reluctantly giving Rodney a hug and then wandering back to Justin for a shameless smooching session. And at this point, I’d just like to see Eliza and Justin get the hell off the beach and to extend my condolences to Rodney for falling for someone so insecure and immature.

And if you’re thinking, well, Eliza’s only 26, Kate Gallivan — who’s 33 — also came down with a case of wanting a man to make decisions for her.

This happened after Hayden Markowitz hit the beach. You remember him: the guy who talked shit about Gabby and Rachel on their season, and used his dying dog, Rambo, to try to score sympathy points?

He was still blathering on about Rambo and about how a woman would be hard pressed to beat Rambo in his affections, except — IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR DOG SO MUCH WHY AREN’T YOU AT HOME TAKING CARE OF HIM INSTEAD OF IN FREAKIN’ MEXICO?

Shanae and Florence wisely gave Hayden a pass on his date card, but Kate said a part of her wanted to say yes to Hayden just to see how Logan would react. Would that be the part that was egged on by the producers perchance?

So she did say yes, in the hopes Logan would tell her not to go on the date. And are you serious? Logan had been on what, three dates at that point with three different women? So he told Kate she deserved to have the full Paradise experience just like he had.

But Logan had failed Kate’s “test.” “Every girl wants a guy that’s gonna fight for her,” she said.

By telling her what to do? Sorry, not this “girl.”

In fact, Kate claimed Logan’s reaction was “like he didn’t care if I lived or died.” And I’m sorry, what????

Anyway, the date with Hayden was kind of a dud.

Hayden Markowitz and Kate Gallivan prepare to go zip-lining, to Hayden’s horror.

Their zip-lining adventure rattled Hayden and Kate wasn’t digging “this scared energy from him.” He not only admitted to talking crap about Rachel and Gabby, he doubled down and said he didn’t think they were there “for the right reasons.” And Kate decided Hayden’s “priorities are a little misaligned” after he confessed to spending six figures so Rambo could live up to another two years with his brain tumour.

And yet, the promo for next week shows Kate supposedly vacillating between Hayden and Logan because “Hayden has money,” so whose priorities are misaligned now?

Let’s chat about a few more questionable decisions we saw in these two episodes.

Victoria Fuller did what I think we all knew she would and, even though Alex Bordyukov seemed completely in tune with her desire to get hitched and start a family ASAP, she chose to give a rose to surfer dude Johnny DePhillipo. (Don’t worry, Alex is still around, saved by his “Bachelor in Paradise Australia” pal Florence Moerenhout.)

After Victoria and Johnny went on some kind of ceremonial date that involved a type of Mexican sweat lodge, they both confessed to feeling like they were falling in love with each other — a step removed from actually falling, perhaps, but maybe enough to bring the engagement that Victoria so very much wants. We’ll see.

And then there was Shanae Ankney, who got bounced by Logan for Kate after trying to “boom boom” with Tyler, who chose Brittany instead, and had now coupled up with Jacob Rapini, with whom she apparently shares an obsession with clean teeth.

But then the twins came along — yes, Joey and Justin Young, who made zero impression after getting sent home on Night 1 of Gabby’s and Rachel’s season, but we’re supposed to give a crap now, I guess.

Justin and Joey Young bring double something — trouble? ennui? — to the beach.

Shanae and Florence, who are 30 and 31, respectively, agreed to go on a double date with the twins, even though they’re only 24.

It seemed like Florence was just there to have fun, but Shanae claimed to have a “deep connection” with Joey that she hadn’t found with anyone else on the beach. I guess that’s what happens when you drink tequila out of someone’s belly button and turn them into a human burrito? Search me.

And finally, we had the hot mess that is the dysfunctional relationship of Genevieve and Aaron Clancy.

It would exhaust all of us if I tried to reproduce verbatim the tortuous, tearful arguments between these two, but basically Genevieve wanted to tell Aaron she was falling in love with him, but Aaron was too busy bro-ing out to give her 10 minutes for a chat. When Genevieve expressed her disappointment over this state of affairs Aaron accused her of gaslighting him and sorry, Aaron, not facts.

Perhaps the most perfect illustration of the disconnect was when Aaron, right in the middle of complaining to Johnny that Genevieve was gaslighting him, interrupted his own train of thought to point at the ocean and exclaim, “Look at that fatty rip current right here!”

Genevieve, meanwhile, had decided to leave Paradise and tried to tell Aaron she was going, except he wouldn’t commit to a conversation because “I’m thinking about myself and if it’s the right time for me. It’s not all about one person.”

I can only echo Genevieve here: “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Aaron finally granted Gen the conversation she wanted, but only after she was on her way out of the resort with her bags packed.

Aaron was still claiming to be the injured party, but he kind of half-assed apologized for making Genevieve unhappy, got all teary, and told her he was falling in love with her too and he didn’t want her to leave. And despite her earlier insight — “My gut is telling me we are not meant for each other” — Genevieve stayed.

Eliza, who had been reluctantly eavesdropping with Victoria, claimed “that’s how you know, too, when you care about each other when you start arguing like this.” And man, somebody has to talk to that woman about healthy male-female relationships.

So Aaron and Genevieve are back together for now and apparently so are a lot of other couples according to next Monday’s promo. But then something “heartbreaking” happens that has even Brandon and Serene crying.

So guess I’ll unpack my metaphorical suitcase and stay, even though I’m sure “Bachelor in Paradise” doesn’t love any of us.

You can watch next next Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor in Paradise recap: Shanae gets dumped, Kate gloats

October 26, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Serene Russell, Shanae Ankney and Brittany Galvin all had very different receptions waiting
for them when they got back to Playa Escondida. PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC

I don’t enjoy math so I was never going to be keen on “Geometry Beach.” But here’s one formula I can wrap my head around: the greater the minutes of filler relative to the actual happenings on “Bachelor in Paradise” the more boring the episode.

And man, was Tuesday’s episode a stinker! Ostensibly it was going to be the . . . most . . . dramatic . . . yet, since the OG women were heading back to the beach and the men who had strayed were going to have to explain themselves, but most of what we got was endless commentary before, during and after the breakups/reconciliations.

I mean, seriously, this is why we’re being made to endure two episodes a week? For all this filler? And we’re not even getting another rose ceremony until sometime next week?

Hopefully I’m not going to bore you as much as the producers did, so let’s get to the meat of the matter.

Monday’s episode set up the (non)action to come on Tuesday, laying out the various love (lust) triangles that factored into what Johnny called “Geometry Beach.”

We started with the confrontation between Lace and Rodney. Lace, you might recall from last week, had hitched a ride from the Estates at Vidanta to Playa Escondida to check up on her man, who was out on a date with Eliza.

There was no “Hurricane Lace” or “Lacifer,” despite the buildup. Rodney gave Lace the bad news that he had moved on as gently and apologetically as he could. Lace was sad, she cried, she went home, end of story.

So why is this show painting the women as forces of destruction for, uh, showing emotions?

Back at the Vidanta, the other exiled women learned from host Jesse Palmer that Lace had “left Paradise forever” — so she won’t be parachuted back in as a plot device then? — and those six were quizzed about whether they were open to exploring new connections with the five new men.

Turns out Victoria was interested in exploring things with Alex and Brittany was into Tyler. And for reasons I can’t fathom — maybe ABC has some deal with its Australian counterparts? — the women deemed Adam from “Bachelorette Australia” worthy of sticking around. But they had zero interest in Rick and Olu, so those two got sent home.

Shanae was also attracted to Tyler — she wanted to take him to the boom boom room, after all — but also claimed to still be thinking about Logan.

Logan, however, sure didn’t seem to be thinking about Shanae. Not only had he gone on a very kissy face date with Sarah, he had now developed a “groundbreaking” connection with Kate. How, you might ask, since Kate seemed to be attached at the lips and the crotch to Jacob? Why, a 1:23 a.m. conversation on one of the beach beds.

So when a date card magically appeared for Kate, she took “sweet baby Jacob” for a talk and confessed that she was more into Logan. Poor Sarah didn’t get the courtesy of a talk from Logan until after Kate had invited him on the date in front of everybody.

And speaking of magical date cards, Victoria got one too and used it to explore Alex, a.k.a. “every girl’s fucking dream.”

Alex Bordyukov and Victoria Fuller talked about future offspring on their date.

The main points of interest seemed to be that Alex wasn’t frightened away by Victoria’s contention that she wanted five kids (!) and that Alex had rubbed Victoria’s head as she was dozing on the couch.

“Physical touch is my love language,” she said. And if one more person uses the phrase “love language” I’m gonna barf.

Speaking of touch, Brittany and Tyler went on a “date” of their own by the pool that involved lots of smooching. So the stage was set for various awkward reunions back at the beach.

We saw Genevieve and Aaron reconnect first and why did we spend so much time on this one? We already knew they had stayed true to each other, so whatever.

Then we had an inordinate amount of “heads are gonna roll” scene-setting for Shanae’s reunion with Logan and guess what, they didn’t.

Sure, Shanae was upset to hear that Logan felt more “heard and seen” by Kate, but why wouldn’t she be? And when Logan tried to blame his pursuit of Kate on Shanae hurting his feelings with her dalliance with James she was well within her rights to ask why he hadn’t expressed that hurt at the time. Damn straight she walked away without giving Logan a hug.

For Logan and Kate to then rub salt in the wound by slobbering over each other in full sight of Shanae and everyone else, as the other cast members cheered them on, was disrespectful and insensitive.

Shanae’s new best friend Genevieve — and by extension, the producers — talked Shanae into having another go at Logan. The idea was obviously to make it seem like Shanae 2.0 was reverting back into the bully we saw on Clayton’s “Bachelor” season.

Look, I’m not going to defend Shanae’s behaviour back then. I was disgusted by it, particularly her mockery of Elizabeth’s ADHD, but she wasn’t bullying anybody on the beach on Tuesday.

Kate, who seems to really like the sound of her own voice, was the one gloating over how she had triumphed over Shanae. She was the one who forced Shanae into a conversation she didn’t want to have. And then we had Aaron’s misogynistic commentary: Shanae was a “Shanaedo” who didn’t belong on the beach; Shanae should be straitjacketed in a padded room; Shanae should be abducted by aliens and taken to a planet that better suited her personality.

All this because she was sad and angry over being rejected for another woman? Did the beach suddenly get transported back into the 19th century or something?

The breakups continued.

After Jacob told Jill she wasn’t the woman for him, she tearfully decided to go home but not without giving viewers a last laugh: “A Lyft driver and you break my fucking heart. He sold his couch for cash and I fucking cried over him,” she said as the SUV of Shame pulled away.

Brittany and Andrew had a very civilized conversation, agreeing to part ways to purse Tyler and Jessenia, respectively.

Thankfully, we finally got to see Serene reunite with Brandon and it was as adorable and heart-swelling as it needed to be. They told each other they loved each other and can we just skip to the end where these two get engaged already?

That left Victoria and Johnny, who claimed to be falling for Victoria and looked genuinely stricken when she told him about her date with Alex.

There then followed a long, circular conversation about how Alex checked boxes for Victoria, whether Victoria did or didn’t have a list of requirements for Johnny to fulfil, and whether Johnny was or wasn’t ready for an engagement, not to mention marriage and a family, which Victoria wanted, like, yesterday.

I still don’t know the answer after all that talk but heads up! Alex, Tyler and Adam were heading to the beach.

Tyler and Brittany reaffirmed their interest in each other and then there was this weird situation where Jessenia pulled Tyler away for a private chat. And it was totally stupid because we all know that Jessenia likes Andrew. It was meant to support the fiction of a feud between the original women and the new women. And really, producers, really?

Johnny, meanwhile, said he felt sick to his stomach watching Victoria with Alex. Those two went for a talk of their own, also without a resolution. It would seem to be pretty clear cut: if Johnny is unwilling to commit and Alex shares Victoria’s desire to start a family pronto, wouldn’t Alex be Victoria’s match, no matter the quality of the breakfasts with Johnny? Victoria, however, said she was still confused.

It appears that she will stay confused next week. Also, the producers will play a dirty trick on Rodney by bringing Justin back to go on a date with Eliza. I like Justin, but this is what we’re doing now? Bringing back people who didn’t get roses just to cause mayhem?

Also, Hayden and the twins from Rachel’s and Gabby’s season turn up. And why? Nobody cares about the twins, nobody cares about Hayden.

But if you’re still watching, you can tune in next Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Tag: Bachelor in Paradise recap (Page 1 of 3)

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: ‘too many pickles’ on the beach

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: a bum steer for Austin and Chelsea

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: ‘wild Joey’ runs free on the beach

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: Follow the bouncing lips

Bachelor in Paradise Canada: Triangles on the beach

Bachelor in Paradise recap: Well, we have Brandon and Serene

Bachelor in Paradise recap: That beach sure emptied fast

Bachelor in Paradise recap: A painful itch and a ballroom blitz

Bachelor in Paradise recap: Rodney and Logan aren’t ‘man’ enough for Eliza and Kate

Bachelor in Paradise recap: Shanae gets dumped, Kate gloats

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Archives

Categories

Meta