Brendan Morgan showed that women weren’t the only thing he could keep up in the air
on “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos courtesy of Citytv

Never mind the juggling, singing, dancing, piano playing, guitar shredding and the lame “comedy” in Sunday’s “Camp Paradise Twisted Talent Show,” the real talent this late in any season of “Bachelor in Paradise” is for a newcomer to get a rose.

Of the five surplus women who joined the cast of “Paradise Canada,” the only one who seemed like she might pull it off — emphasis on might — was Maria Garcia-Sanchez.

But if you think Brendan Morgan is her potential rose daddy, think again.

Sure, the last we saw of Brendan M last week was him ignoring main squeeze Angela to spend extra time with Maria, with whom he’d just returned from a date. But it didn’t take long for Maria — and us — to figure out she’d been played, with Angela and Brendan recommitting to each other, inasmuch as someone who’s still yapping about having the freedom to “pursue other options” can commit.

Angela Amezcua and Brendan Morgan toast to the future, whatever that turns out to be.

Then, hello, Josh started chatting up Maria, reviving the possibility of her getting a rose and marking himself as the official “Paradise Canada” stud since he’d gone on two dates, kissed three women and was now checking out a fourth.

But wasn’t Josh coupled up with Lisa? Well yes and no.

Josh said he cared about Lisa but didn’t know “what kind of feelings those are.” Meanwhile, he saw potential with Maria and told her he wanted to explore it.

But the exploration got short-circuited the night of the rose ceremony when Maria had a meltdown, told Josh she wanted to go home and then slammed her way into her cabin to start packing her stuff. More on that later.

She wasn’t the only newbie who picked flight over fight.

Sasanet, who had a disastrous date with Mike last episode, was there for a good time, not a long time, as the theme song says.

Sasanet says farewell to Camp Paradise with affirmations and a big ass glass of wine.

“I had fun, I met amazing people, however the men just were not on my level,” Sasa said.

She took leave of her cast mates with a bit of sassy humour — “I’m happy to have been here and met everyone, well most of you at least” — and some parting affirmations. They’d all find love, happiness, luxury, glamour and wonderful lives, she said. And then she was off to find the first of the three husbands a psychic told her she was going to have.

And now let’s talk about the fight part of the equation. That would be Iva, who wasn’t willing to leave Paradise without one.

Editing, of course, is everything on these shows. We’d just listened to Josh tell Maria that he was “a quiet person” and that “really energetic, like, loud people tire me out” when who should materialize in front of him but the hyper energetic Iva?

Never mind not beating about the bush; Iva beat the bush into bits. She told Josh she was jealous he was flirting with other girls, that she liked him and didn’t like any other guys, and asked, “Are you still into me?”

Which presupposes that Josh was into her to begin with.

He wouldn’t tell her point blank that she wasn’t getting his rose, even though she wasn’t, but he recommended she pursue “other things.” And the other thing was Mike.

Iva Mikulic makes her pitch for Mike Ogilvie to dump Stacy for her.

Mack Truck Mike, meet Titan Truck Iva.

Iva told Mike she had come to Camp Paradise for a fresh start after being “stuck on the same guy for the past three years”; she wanted to fall in love, a couple of kids, a nice big house and a nice big yard — is that all? — and she asked Mike if there was “a way for me to convince you that you should, like, explore this with me?”

Mike diplomatically told Iva he couldn’t give her an answer.

“She’s a very aggressive person,” he commented. Ya think?

Iva also told Mike he was “smoking hot,” but he declined her invitation to “kiss and see if we can vibe.”

Bartender Kevin Wendt and fiancee Astrid Loch judged the talent show.

During the talent show — overseen by bartender Kevin Wendt and his fiancee Astrid Loch (who welcomed their baby the night before “Paradise” aired!) — Brendan S, as part of a cringey attempt at a comedy roast with best bud Kamil, suggested Iva had another motive for coming to Paradise: to further her music career. Hey, she wouldn’t be the first.

Iva could at least sing, as could Joey and Vay. Josh played a mean piano and Mike unleashed his inner metal god on the guitar, complete with crotch grab. Lisa drew clever caricatures of her fellow campers.

But the winner was Brendan M for his shirtless juggling and doing a yoga pose called the locust that, well, you can check it out in the photo above.

As impressive as that was, Brendan’s win also fit the storyline of him returning to Angela after his dalliance with Maria since the prize was a date. And it didn’t hurt that Angela’s good friend Astrid was one of the judges.

Angela confided in Astrid, her former “Bachelor” and “Bachelor in Paradise” pal, about her hurt over Brendan M taking Maria out, not to mention Brendan’s annoyance over Angela being hurt.

“The Paradise experience to me is meeting someone that you’re gonna build a life with after this, not dating a bunch of random girls,” Astrid said.

Except Brendan still seemed to be thinking about the random girls when he and Angela finally talked things out during their dinner date.

He told Angela his intentions were good in going on the date with Maria, but when asked what those intentions were, Brendan M said, “to give myself a fair opportunity to see if there was a connection there. For me to get the most out of this, I think it’s only right for me to pursue other options. At the same time, it doesn’t take away from what you and I have. I was a bit upset at the fact that you looked at it that way.”

What? That Angela looked at you pursuing your options with Maria as potentially detrimental to your relationship with her? Gee, can’t imagine why she’d think that.

To make matters worse, when Angela asked Brendan if he was done exploring other relationships, he said, “I feel as though I am. I also feel like I deserve the freedom to be able to explore something.” So no, then.

Don’t ask me how you go from that to Angela and Brendan agreeing to “move forward with each other.” Colour me super skeptical.

You want to know who hasn’t explored other options the whole time he’s been on the beach? Joey.

Joey Kirchner and Vay Paquette: not “just a Paradise fling.”

As he and Vay snuggled in a Muskoka chair, Joey told her he was falling in love with her. “I am too, 1,000 per cent,” Vay replied. “I can spend the rest of my life with you, I already know,” she said.

As heartwarming as that is, there was one adorable Colombian-Canadian obstacle to Joey and Vay attaining post-Paradise bliss. Vay couldn’t seem to shake her jealousy of Joey’s friendship with Maria.

Josh, meanwhile, still appeared to be into Maria, taking her for a walk away from the other campers with the rose ceremony looming. But Maria was so pissed that she’d wasted her date on Brendan M that she seemed to transfer that distrust to Josh. When he complimented her beauty and her personality, she replied skeptically, “If you want to get to know me, that’s on you. If you don’t, like, it’s fine.”

“Obviously, I do,” said Josh. Maria’s response to that was an eye roll.

Maria Garcia-Sanchez at the talent show with Bianka Kamber, a.k.a. the Invisible Woman.

Josh, bless him, kept trying, but then Maria started crying, told him, “I really want to go home, this is so dumb,” and ditched Josh to go start packing up her stuff.

It was Joey who talked her down, following Maria into her cabin to dispense hugs and advice. He was convinced she still had a shot with Josh and got her to agree to stick around.

Josh, meanwhile, was getting advice from Mike, who told him to figure out “what makes you happy.” Would it be Maria and the chance of “something incredible” with her, or would he keep working on what he had with Lisa, notwithstanding that seemed more like a friendship than a romance?

We’ll presumably find out next week when there’s — maybe? — a rose ceremony.

In the meantime, Vay gave Joey the cold shoulder when he returned from his chat with Maria. Brendan M, of all people, seemed to take Vay’s side, saying Joey should have been a little more conscious of how Vay was feeling.

Excuse me while I stop to ponder the irony of the man behind the feelings that put Maria in need of consoling, the man who ignored his own girlfriend’s feelings to take Maria out in the first place, suggesting another dude wasn’t being sensitive about a woman’s feelings. Wow.

“Don’t keep mentioning the same girl over and over and over and over again. It makes me feel like shit,” Vay complained.

Sorry Vay, but I’m with Joey. “I clearly don’t give a fuck about Maria in a romantic way; platonically yes,” he told, yes, Brendan M.

Vay, honey, time to put your big girl panties on and euthanize that little green monster. Joey seems like a really nice guy who was just trying to help an old friend. That supersized jealousy is not a good look.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere based on next week’s promo showing more of Vay’s whining about Maria. And with less than a week left till the final rose, Brendan S is talking engagement and Caitlin is still talking about whether Kamil will step up. Ugh. And two more guys show up, with one particularly cocky dude infringing on whatever Josh has with whomever he has it with.

You can tune in next Sunday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And don’t forget “Bachelor After Show: After Paradise” at 9:30 p.m. If you want to talk Paradise with me you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo