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Tag: Bachelorette recap (Page 4 of 5)

On The Bachelor, Victoria proves she’s the queen . . . of mean

January 12, 2021 /
Why does Victoria look so happy talking to Matt? Oh right, she’s throwing somebody under the bus.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

It’s time to abolish the Bachelor monarchy.

I’m not suggesting we go all Oliver Crowell on Victoria’s ass (he’s the fellow who had King Charles I beheaded in 1649), but it would be nice to see this particular “queen” deposed.

This being “The Bachelor,” however, Victoria will be with us a while longer so she can stir up some more crap. She was doing a fine job of that on Monday’s episode.

The drama started early. The first date card had barely been handed out before Victoria was bellyaching about how she was only there to be with Matt, she was sick of the other women (um, hello, after one day?), she wasn’t there to join a sorority and anybody who didn’t share her distaste for time spent with anybody but Matt was either lying or fake. Oh, and she didn’t want to go on a group date because she couldn’t be her “most authentic self.”

Which authentic self is that? The one who said “I literally am a queen”?

And when Victoria did get put on the group date, she warned the other women not to be “negative.” Oh the irony.

Anyway, while all that nonsense was going on, Matt was off on a one-on-one with Bri, the communications manager with whom he bonded on Night 1 over their shared heritage of being biracial and raised by single moms.

Bri’s reward for getting dumped off an ATV was drinks with Matt in a hot tub
and she got to count his abs, and said there were between eight and 60.

Bri survived with just bruises and a butt full of mud after Matt overturned their ATV while doing doughnuts. “Bri’s mom is going to kill me,” he said, which was kind of sweet and funny.

Never fear: there was a hot tub in the woods surrounding the palatial Nemacolin resort for them to clean off, drink Champagne and kiss in. No offence La Quinta, but this feels like a proper Bachelor franchise date.

And on a proper Bachelor date, you have to sing for your supper (whether you eat it or not), or more accurately spill your guts about whatever makes you “vulnerable,” a term that is giving “journey” a run for its money as the franchise’s favourite word. In Bri’s case that meant talking about the fact her mother was 13 (!) when she got pregnant with Bri, about her absentee dad and about the fact her mother was now pregnant again and had a new fiance, so “I don’t feel like I have a home to go to anymore.”

Naturally Bri got the date rose and a chance to kiss Matt some more while fireworks exploded overhead.

The fireworks were not confined to the outdoors. Inside the resort, Victoria was still whinging about how she didn’t want to spend time with the other women (note that nobody was forcing her to sit and complain ad nauseam to the other women) and now she claimed they were insulting her by questioning her view of things. And when Chelsea asked Victoria not to generalize with her accusations, Victoria zeroed in on roommate Marylynn for wanting to, in Victoria’s words, pick her brain and understand her better. Marylynn responded that she was merely suggesting that she and Victoria get to know each other. But Victoria, declaring that Marylynn was “psychologically disturbed, literally,” hauled her bags out of the room and decided to sleep on a couch.

(I had a look at the cast list just now because I wanted to see if Victoria was a lot younger than the other women, but no: she’s 27 and Marylynn is 28, so there goes that theory.)

So the stage was set for what Toronto contestant Alana (hello Canadian girl, I overlooked you last week) said was sure to be a “shit show” of a date. Truth be told, it was more of a paint show.

Eighteen Bachelor “brides,” including Victoria, second from left, on a group date with Matt James.

A whopping 18 women turned up for the group date and were given 10 minutes to put on wedding gowns for a photo shoot with Matt. Victoria butted in out of turn, of course, hauled up her dress to make Matt remove a garter from her thigh and laid a sloppy kiss on him — a little tasteless but on brand, I’d say.

Host Chris Harrison interrupted the photo shoot halfway through to tell the women they’d have to “fight” for Matt and by fight he meant form teams, run around trying to capture stuffed hearts from the opposite team’s goalposts, er, wedding arbours, and pummel them with objects like bouquets dipped in paint.

Here’s what the wedding dresses looked like after the game.

The dresses were shredded and so were the hearts of the losing team. All of them except for Mari, who was named “most valuable bride,” had to walk back to their rooms, leaving the winners to have cocktails with Matt.

So what was Victoria’s big confession during her alone time with Matt? She said she has insecurities and she thought, “Oh, I hope I don’t look fat” while choosing a wedding dress.

“I haven’t been deep with a guy like that in a while,” said Victoria.

Hold that thought; we’ll come back to it. In the meantime, Matt gave the date rose to lawyer Lauren, who told Matt she was looking for “a man of faith” because the key to her parents’ healthy marriage was “to keep God first.” That made Matt happy since the fact he’s a Christian sometimes turns people off, he said.

Moving on: it was Sarah’s turn for a one-on-one, flying over the resort with Matt in a biplane. Matt wasn’t steering, nobody fell out.

Sarah wasn’t ready to tell Matt about her family situation at the start of her date.

Conveniently, as he and Sarah drank Champagne on a couch in the woods, the topic turned to family and how Sarah’s dad felt about her being on “The Bachelor.” If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think Matt already knew about Sarah’s father’s health problems, wouldn’t you?

Sarah didn’t divulge anything right away, but the confession clock was ticking so, over dinner, she told Matt about her dad’s ALS and how she had quit her job as a TV reporter and anchor to be his caregiver.

I have no doubt that would be a hard thing to talk about with somebody you barely know and it’s a damn sight more “deep” than confessing to worrying you’ll look fat in a dress. Yes, I’m talking about you, Victoria.

Matt’s response was very classy. He said he’d pray for Sarah’s father, that he was “honoured” she had made such a big sacrifice to be there with him and asked, “What can I do through this experience to show you I can be somebody you’d want to be with?”

Sarah said, essentially, that he was already doing it. And she got her rose and her kisses.

There was nothing left by then but for Matt to hand out the rest of the roses. The cocktail party was going well. Matt reconnected with favourites like Abigail and Rachael. And when Marylynn expressed doubt about whether Matt really wanted her there since she hadn’t been on a date, he pulled out an orchid from behind the couch, which he (or somebody, anyway) had remembered was her favourite flower.

Poor Marylynn with Matt before Victoria threw her under the bus.

And then it all went to hell when Marylynn showed the other women her orchid. You could see the malevolent wheels turning in Victoria’s head. After blathering on to a producer about Marylynn’s “toxic energy,” Victoria trotted off to tell Matt that she could no longer sleep in her room because Marylynn was so toxic and manipulative.

I mean, it’s utter bullshit obviously. There’s only one person in the group so far who seems toxic and manipulative and that’s Victoria. But Matt dutifully went to Marylynn with Victoria’s allegations and all she could do was tell him none of it was true and hope that he believed her. Then Matt disappeared without talking to anymore of the women, saying he had a lot to think about.

Marylynn tried to clear the air with Victoria, hoping they could come to an understanding, but Victoria wouldn’t even allow Marylynn to sit next to her on the couch. She walked away saying that Marylynn was “too much for me” and then had the nerve to call Marylynn “crazy.” I don’t like to call other women names, but there’s a word that come to mind for behaviour like that and it rhymes with “itch.”

Anyway, Matt came back to hand out roses and had given away nine of them when Sarah, who earlier described herself as feeling “overwhelmed” by the Victoria drama, wobbled off the dais and, with the help of Bri, sank to the floor behind a couch. “I’m blacking out, I can’t see,” she told the medic who was called over as Matt hovered.

And then it was “To be continued.”

Clearly Victoria is going to get a rose because the promo for next week shows her getting into disputes with other women and she’s not wearing her cocktail party dress. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,” she tells Katie.

Off with her figurative — as opposed to her literal — head, I say.

You can watch all the drama on Citytv next Monday at 8 p.m. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Someone put a ring on it on ‘The Bachelorette’ season finale

December 23, 2020 /
Host Chris Harrison and Bachelorette Tayshia Adams on proposal day.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

SPOILER ALERT: STOP READING NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHO TAYSHIA GOT ENAGAGED TO.

As a certain 16th-century playwright once wrote, “All’s well that ends well.”

There were moments of frustration on the “Bachelorette” finale, to be sure — Ben being allowed to stay, a very unhelpful daddy-daughter talk — but Tayshia Adams ended up engaged to Zac Clark after a truly beautiful proposal and seemed to be deliriously happy.

I don’t know about you, but I had myself a good cry. As Tayshia might say, it was a lot.

Given what we’ve watched the last couple of weeks, it seemed very likely that Zac would be the last man standing, not that “Bachelorette” producers didn’t try to throw us off the trail.

First there was the return of Ben Smith, which I thought was kind of ridiculous.

Just repeating “I love you” over and over again should not have been good enough for a second chance. I was expecting Tayshia to tell him that he was too late and to send him home for good, but instead she invited him to that night’s rose ceremony and then she kissed him — like, really kissed him. Ugh.

Still, I figured Tayshia would give the first rose to Zac then seem to waver between Ben and Ivan for drama’s sake before giving the second rose to Ivan. Instead, she picked up a rose, put it down again and uttered the dreaded words, “Ivan, can we talk really quickly?”

So yes, Ivan was sent home. Tayshia blamed it on religious differences that had come up during their overnight date. “At the end of the day religion’s part of my morals and my beliefs,” she said.

What does that mean? Is Ivan an atheist? Does he only go to church at Christmas and Easter? We never found out. Ivan went pretty quietly although he did say in the SUV of Shame that he figured Tayshia wouldn’t end up with anybody because “me and her made the most sense.”

Ivan and Tayshia on their hometown date, presumably not talking about religion.

His departure raises a couple of questions. Had Ben not shown up, would Tayshia have gone through the charade of introducing Ivan to her parents for the sake of the format, despite knowing they were incompatible? Was Ben allowed to come back just so Tayshia could send Ivan home and still have two finalists?

Whatever Ben might have thought was going on, it was clear after watching both him and Zac with Tayshia’s family that he was around just to make up the numbers.

For instance, Tayshia’s father Desmond asked Ben, “What do you see in Tayshia?” His answer: “For me, what made me come back to this experience, even though I was sent home, is the way that she makes me feel and I would be an idiot not to come back.”

Sorry dude, but that answer’s about you, not her.

Zac’s responses seemed less self-centred and more mature.

When Desmond expressed concern that an engagement between Zac and Tayshia might be a “test” rather than a commitment, Zac replied, “What I’ve really had to look at is, when all this goes away and it’s just me and her, life is not always easy. Supporting each other through these tough times is what I actually look forward to.”

So, in other words, he seemed to have thought beyond the “Tayshia makes me feel good” stage.

In any event, there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships, on or off “The Bachelorette,” which is why it was kind of annoying when Desmond turned up at Tayshia’s door to have a doom and gloom conversation with her.

“I’ve seen you hurt before and I can’t let that happen this time,” he told her, referring to her divorce. “Seeing these guys, we don’t want things to go backwards for you. It might not be what you want to hear, but I don’t want you to be making the biggest mistake of your life.”

Gee, thanks Dad.

I have a few questions of my own. Is Tayshia not an adult capable of making her own decisions? How exactly do you keep somebody from getting hurt unless you lock them in a room and throw away the key? Was this conversation all her father’s idea or did production have a hand in it? If it happened just before her date with Zac, as it was presented, why was Tayshia wearing the same denim dress she had on when she went to see Ben, whose date appeared to come after Zac’s?

Tayshia and Zac on their fantasy suite date.

However it unfolded, Tayshia did seem rattled when she met with Zac. They had a good time at their dance lesson, but that night Tayshia expressed her fears: that Zac’s feelings might change if she put her career ambitions aside to become a full-time mother, that he might eventually run away.

Zac, who was celebrating his ninth anniversary of being sober, told her the reason his recovery was so important to him was because “it allowed me to not run away . . . and actually face life as it comes my way.”

“To hear you say your fear is that things will change or that I’ll run or whatever it is breaks my heart because if I were given the opportunity to propose to you, I am not doing that unless I am committing to you, for life.”

Tayshia’s mind was set at ease, so much so that she didn’t even bother having her final date with Ben. She visited him in his room and gave him the old “I care about you so much” — pause — “I just feel like my heart is with somebody else” speech.

There was nothing left on the to-do list but a proposal.

We had to endure some more commentary about Tayshia’s doubts — and she started crying when she checked in with Chris Harrison — but of course she and Zac were getting engaged. Duh.

I won’t repeat Zac’s whole proposal speech. The part that really got me went as follows: “I love you, Tayshia. I love you because you’re a fighter. I love you ’cause you’re a strong, independent woman. You make everyone around you better. I love you because you believe in me. I love you because you’re a total dork. And I love you because you drive me absolutely wild. I love everything about you.”

I’ve had a few people tell me they don’t buy that Tayshia and Zac really love each other. It seemed pretty convincing to me.

Tayshia gave a lovely speech too, telling him, “I love you, Zac Clark. And I’ll do absolutely anything to keep that huge smile on your face because you do everything to keep a huge smile on mine.”

There was an emerald-cut Neil Lane diamond to put on her finger, a final rose to put on his lapel, happy tears, laughter, hugs, kisses, dancing and then they hailed the cardboard taxi from their hometown date and carried it away with a “Just engaged” sign on the back, which was absolutely adorable.

There was no “After the Final Rose” for us to bask in their joy (or to commiserate if they had broken up), but judging from the interview that Tayshia gave to People magazine, which appeared Tuesday night, it seems she and Zac are still very much a thing.

Assuming that Clare Crawley and Dale Moss are still together — and from what I can glean online, they are — “Bachelorette” producers must be feeling extremely pleased with themselves. Not only did they pull off a satisfying season during a pandemic, they ended up with two engagements, almost as good as a season of “Bachelor in Paradise.”

Now we’ll have to see if Matt James can keep up the streak when his “Bachelor” season starts Jan. 4.

I’ll be watching and recapping. In the meantime, you can comment here (no spam please), come visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

It’s down to 2 — oops, we’re back to 3 men — on ‘The Bachelorette’

December 22, 2020 /
Tayshia Adams and Zac Clark get handsy during Night 1
of the “Bachelorette” season finale. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Things got messy during the fantasy suites episode of “The Bachelorette” — and I don’t mean because Tayshia and Zac spent part of their date slathering each other in paint.

Their time together was one of the cleanest parts of Monday’s episode in that it seemed pretty straightforward: Zac said he loved Tayshia; she said she loved him back; Zac seemed like the man to beat in the proposal derby.

But Tayshia’s journey hit a couple of big pot holes. First, Brendan Morais, the man who seemed like the biggest threat to Zac’s frontrunner status, sent himself home after deciding he wasn’t ready to commit to Tayshia. Then Ben Smith, the guy Tayshia sent home last week, came back to declare his love and complicate the hell out of everything.

Here’s how I thought the night was going to go: Tayshia was going to send dear sweet Ivan Hall away and make Zac and Brendan the final two. Even if Ben did come back, as everyone expected, Tayshia would send him home . . . again.

Now? Well, considering we saw Tayshia kissing Ben in the promo for Tuesday’s episode it looks like she might give him another chance. What does that mean for Ivan and Zac? Guess we’ll find out tomorrow night.

In the meantime, we’ve got a couple of fantasy suites to talk about.

Brrrrr. Tayshia and Ivan climb into tubs of ice water on their date.

Ivan was first up. I’m not sure who decides who gets what date, but from my point of view he got a raw deal — as in raw from the cold. He and Tayshia set a record for “world’s longest coldest kiss” by smooching while sitting in tubs of ice water for more than six minutes. “How is this going to affect his performance in the fantasy suite later tonight?” quipped host Chris Harrison, who oversaw the event with “Bachelor” security dude Big Paulie.

Things warmed up from there. Later, at another one of those dinners where nobody actually eats, Ivan told Tayshia he was falling in love with her. Personally, I was suspicious of the fact that she looked down instead of right at him when he said it, but she did tell him, “I definitely have been falling for you too.”

After going through the charade of reading the fantasy suite card (as if he was going to say no to forgoing his individual room) they repaired to possibly the cutest fantasy suite ever in an Airstream trailer. Ivan said they stayed up all night talking. The end result: Ivan was ready to propose and Tayshia said she could picture “a really beautiful life” with him.

One down, two to go.

Tayshia and Zac during the clothed part of their painting exercise.

There was no ice involved in Zac’s date with Tayshia. They started hot and just kept sizzling along. Having to strip down to bathing suits and cover each other with body paint fuelled their natural chemistry. There was much smooching.

At dinner, Tayshia, who’s said a couple of times that she wants five children, questioned Zac about his mother’s contention that he didn’t want any kids. Zac assured her he was ready to be a dad and, furthermore, “I don’t think, I know that I love you,” Zac told her.

“I love your smile, your strength, how you treat other people. I just love the human being that you are.”

Tayshia put her hand to her face, seeming overcome by emotion, and replied, “It’s just wild because I love you too.”

She seemed delighted by Zac’s admission, laughing and kissing him, and making him repeat the words. The laughing and kissing continued in the fantasy suite, where it looked like Zac and Tayshia might stay up doing more than talking, but who knows?

But despite how thrilled Tayshia seemed with Zac — they even jumped on the bed together — she noted that Brendan had had her heart “since Day 1.”

Nobody who saw her heartwarming “hometown” date with Brendan could doubt there was a real bond between them, which made what came next all the more shocking.

Don’t let the smile fool you. Brendan seemed nervous during his diamond date with Tayshia.

Going into the date, Brendan said he was nervous about the idea of proposing, but in the normal scheme of things you’d expect those jitters to subside in the fantasy suite. Except Brendan gave off a deer caught in the headlights vibe when he and Tayshia met up with resident “Bachelor” jeweller Neil Lane and Tayshia tried on bling, including wedding rings.

It seems so Machiavellian. The guy’s getting cold feet about getting engaged so trap him in a room full of engagement and wedding bands. If the point was indeed to stoke Brendan’s doubts it worked like a charm.

Holding back tears, he told Tayshia at dinner that he wanted a wife and kids “more than anything on the face of this Earth, but then coming to the realization that there’s a big part of me that’s still broken, there’s a big part of me that still needs time to heal,” Brendan said.

“All I want is to give you my whole heart, but as I sit here today my heart isn’t whole and it really breaks my heart, because you deserve a man that is complete and you deserve a man who is healed from his past and, unfortunately, right now I’m not that man.”

It was one of the more heartbreaking goodbyes we’ve seen in the franchise. Tayshia cried as she and Brendan hugged at the waiting SUV. He kissed her hand and said, “Thank you, Tayshia. God bless you, OK?” And then he was gone and Tayshia cried even harder.

But she was composed the next day, when former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay showed up for a pep talk, on top of the one Tayshia already had from JoJo Fletcher. Not that it wasn’t nice to see Rachel, but I’m a bit mystified as to why these former Bachelorettes keep popping up for what amounts to filler, especially in the middle of a pandemic.

Tayshia with Ben on a previous episode.

Anyway, Tayshia was all ready mentally to hand roses to her final two when Ben turned up, first at host Harrison’s door, claiming he simply had to tell Tayshia that he loved her.

Tayshia didn’t seem thrilled to see Ben. Nonetheless she let him in and listened as he blamed his complete lack of emotion at their breakup on how caught off guard he had been.

“The feelings that I’ve had for you, I just didn’t know what it was, but I’m in love with you,” Ben said. “Like the life we could have together, the thought of that, it keeps me awake at night and I’m not sure what to do right now.”

Say thanks for your time and head back out the door is what I would suggest, but that wasn’t happening. Tayshia was the one who left the room, looking very upset. “I mean, I just want to cry. I don’t know what to do,” she told an unseen producer.

Frankly, it seems like there’s a lot to do in tomorrow’s two-hour finale. Tayshia has to figure out what to do with Ben; there’s a rose ceremony; the final two have to meet her parents; she has to have a potentially upsetting conversation with her father. And then, maybe by the end of it all, she’ll be engaged.

It airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv.

Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? You can comment here (no spam please) or come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

No ‘I love you’ means no rose as the Bachelorette picks her final 3

December 16, 2020 /
The “Bachelorette” final four had to recreate their hometowns at La Quinta Resort in Palm Springs, including this New York City backdrop for Zac Clark. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

If your heart wasn’t melting watching the “hometowns” episode of “The Bachelorette” on Tuesday night it’s possible you don’t have one.

This was one of the sweetest, most emotional hometown episodes we’ve ever seen — without anyone going near an actual hometown.

There were no obnoxious siblings, no overbearing parents, no taxidermy collections, no fake autopsies: just four nice guys with nice families who seemed to really, really love them, which just made it all the more heartwrenching when Tayshia Adams had to send one man home.

The mood was set in the early minutes of the show when host Chris Harrison arrived to tell the finalists which of their family members had made the trip to La Quinta Resort in Palm Springs, Calif., and they got teary-eyed (except Ben, who apparently doesn’t cry) and all hugged each other.

Tayshia has talked about what a great group of guys she has and now that she’s got rid of dead weight like Bennett and Noah I couldn’t agree with her more.

Normally, Tayshia would have travelled to each of the men’s hometowns to meet their families. Thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, the families had to come to her, not just showing up, but quarantining and taking who knows how many COVID tests at the resort.

And the suitors had to create little slices of their hometowns at La Quinta, which to be honest felt kind of refreshing compared to the show and tells we usually get.

Brendan Morais, Tayshia and his niece Aliyah play some carnival games on their “hometown” date.

Brendan started things off with a recreation of a small-town carnival, the kind of thing he’d attend in his hometown of Milford, Mass. And if that idea wasn’t adorable enough he had his niece Aliyah join him and Tayshia to play games like ring toss, win stuffed animals, eat popsicles, dance, ride toy horses, cavort in a bouncy castle and show off their secret handshake.

So the date was already screaming “keeper!” Then Brendan upped the ante with an emotional reunion with his big brother Daniel, whom he told Harrison was “the closet thing I had to a father after my father passed.”

“I feel like I haven’t told you enough, or at least in a long time, how much you mean to me,” Brendan told his bro. I mean, is that heartwarming or what?

The good feelings just kept flowing, with Tayshia getting encouragement from Daniel and his wife Christi that Brendan was ready to get married. At the end of it all, Tayshia declared, “I really am falling in love with him. I truly feel like Brendan could be my husband.”

After that date, us too. But there were three more dates to go.

Tayshia and Zac ride a “cab” on their hometown date.

Zac Clark, whose hometown is listed as Haddonfield, N.J., took Tayshia to “New York,” where they walked around in a cardboard taxi (once Zac had taught Tayshia how to hail one), ate bagels and pizza, then took in a view of the “Hudson River.”

Tayshia later met Zac’s parents, Douglas and Beatrice, and his brother Matt.

“They saved my life,” Zac said. “They believed in me when I had a pretty gnarly drug addiction that could have taken me out at any time.”

Matt was a little skeptical, though. He asked Tayshia point blank how her feelings for Zac compared to the other three guys and she didn’t answer him — which Matt pointed out — although she did say she was falling in love with Zac.

But Douglas and Beatrice were on board.

“I haven’t seen him smile that much in a long time,” Douglas told Tayshia, “and that’s something that’s really making me happy.”

Zac’s smile also came up in an emotional chat with his mom. “I would not be alive if it wasn’t for your strength,” Zac told her. “So nothing means more than for you to see me happy tonight and see me smiling and see me at peace.”

So I think we’re all agreed: another keeper, right?

Ivan and Tayshia do some Filipino cooking on their hometown date.

Next up was Ivan Hall, who instead of taking Tayshia to a hometown, took her to a kitchen where they made Filipino “lumpia,” or spring rolls, coached via video by Ivan’s adorable niece Kehlani.

Ivan and Tayshia were cooking in more ways than one in that kitchen as they laughed and kissed and danced. Then Tayshia met Ivan’s father Clarence and his mother, whose name I don’t think we got.

Mom was skeptical given how fast everything was happening but told Ivan she’d welcome Tayshia with open arms if he chose to be with her. Clarence bonded with Tayshia over the fact they both had marriages that didn’t work out (Ivan’s mom is his second wife) and both married young; Clarence at 24, Tayshia at 25.

 “I’m really impressed with the young lady,” Clarence said. “She and Ivan could be a good match.”

There was one more family member for Tayshia to impress. Ivan’s brother Gabriel, the one he told Tayshia about who’d done time in jail, made a surprise appearance, which had Ivan in tears. Then Gabriel teared up talking to Tayshia about how loyal Ivan had been to him. Like I said, it was an emotional night.

By the time the date was done, Tayshia had passed muster with the fam and Ivan said he was falling in love with Tayshia.

Ben and Tayshia rollerbladed to the “boardwalk” at “Venice Beach” on their date.

Last but not least, Ben took Tayshia to “Venice Beach,” even though he was raised in Indiana. Things seemed to be going great. Tayshia said she was smitten with Ben and he said he’d never been happier. Ben’s parents weren’t able to make it to La Quinta because of the pandemic, but Ben’s sister Madeline, the one he told Tayshia saved his life, was there along with close family friend Antonia, and they both seemed delighted with Tayshia.

Tayshia, who earlier in the episode expressed unease about not knowing how Ben felt about her, asked for and received assurance from Madeline that Ben wasn’t “hiding” anything. It’s too bad Tayshia couldn’t have overheard Ben’s conversation with Antonia because Ben admitted to Antonia that he was in love with Tayshia.

He was all set to tell Tayshia, too, but he clammed up when they were alone together and she asked him how he felt.

When Ben walked into the rose ceremony it was with the idea that it might be too late to tell Tayshia he loved her. But we’ve seen instances where an inability to clearly express feelings was used as a red herring just to make viewers think that person wasn’t getting a rose, so it was hard to tell if Ben had really blown it.

Honestly? I had no idea who Tayshia would send home. She seemed to have strong feelings for all four and had also had deep conversations with all of them about real stuff, whether it was Brendan’s previous marriage, Zac’s former drug addiction, Ivan’s experiences with racism or Ben’s suicide attempts.

This season has certainly had its share of silliness, but it’s also had some of the most meaningful interactions I can recall. Maybe being quarantined during a pandemic was a reminder for at least some of the men of what was really important in their lives.

Unfortunately for Ben, he never got the chance to tell Tayshia how he felt. Would it have made a difference? We might never know. Tayshia did say that she couldn’t keep putting energy into pulling things out of Ben so perhaps a declaration would have been too little too late.

In any event, Ben put his walls right back up after Tayshia rejected him, brushing it off with “I’ll be all right. I’m always all right.”

“He couldn’t give me one ounce of emotion,” said an upset Tayshia after he left.

But Ben clearly wasn’t all right. “I’m still in love with her,” he said, looking stricken in the back of the SUV. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to fall out of love with her.”

For Ben’s sake I hope he figures it out and that he’s got that therapist who helped him after his suicide attempts on speed dial.

Tayshia is moving on, with fantasy suite dates and maybe a proposal next week.

(Update: it sounds like Ben is going to be back next week to ask Tayshia to give him another chance. I’m skeptical it will work, but it will be good for the drama.)

It airs Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv.

Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? You can comment here (no spam please) or come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

The Bachelorette picks her final 4 and the Men Tell All, all in 1 night

December 15, 2020 /
Host Chris Harrison and Bachelorette Tayshia Adams on “The Men Tell All” part of “The Bachelorette.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Fasten your seatbelts, Bachelor Nation. With apologies for borrowing from Bette Davis, it looks like it’s going to be a bumpy ride, not to mention a really speedy one.

“The Bachelorette” crammed what would normally be two episodes worth of material into one on Monday night, including a “Men Tell All.” Hometown dates follow Tuesday. Next week is the two-part season finale, which presumably means fantasy suite dates on Dec. 21 and the proposal on Dec. 22.

It’s not quite Clare getting engaged to Dale fast, but it’s brisk.

Likewise, Tayshia Adams moved from dithering last week, so conflicted she couldn’t even hand out a group date rose, to extra decisive this week.

She let two men go ahead of the rose ceremony and then cancelled the cocktail party, so confident was she in her decisions. The final four are, in fact, no surprise. But let’s back up and recount how we got here.

First, there was Tayshia’s one-on-one date with Canadian wildlife manager Blake Moynes. Bachelor 101 says if you’re just getting your first real date the week before hometowns you’re probably a goner.

Tayshia and Blake meet with “Reiki and crystal master” Geeta.

Indeed, after an awkward and kind of pointless session with a “Reiki and crystal master” — which included the inevitable “tantric breathing exercise,” i.e. crotch meld, not to mention Blake getting visibly, er, “charged” — Tayshia felt that Blake wasn’t her “guy.” He didn’t even get a chance to pretend to eat dinner with her before she told him they should go their separate ways, with Tayshia crying buckets as she handed him into the SUV of Shame despite her certainty she was doing the right thing.

That certainty gave Tayshia “clarity” about someone else, so she headed to the suite where the men were hanging out and asked Riley to step outside.

Tayshia explained that she didn’t want to lead Riley on by meeting his family “if my heart is not 100 per cent matching yours.”

Riley, like the lawyer he is, put up a bit of an argument, asking “Why keep me around so long?”

The real answer is that it’s always about the numbers in “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette.” Guys get strung along week after week because the number of men need to match the number of roses.

Tayshia said that her breakthrough conversations with Riley, the ones in which he showed her who he really was, “started coming a little bit later.” And then Riley stopped resisting.

“I can argue all day, but in the end it doesn’t matter because the end result is the same. So the longer I sit here, the longer I look at you, the longer I hear you talk, see you smile, the more pain I feel.”

He left with grace and class and generosity, and Tayshia cried a lot.

I couldn’t help contrasting her emotional reaction to letting Riley go to her sangfroid when she jettisoned Bennett, and thinking how ridiculous it was that Bennett — after coming back to surprise Tayshia the week before — had been allowed to stay until the rose ceremony.

Tayshia gives Bennett the heave-ho the week before. I don’t see any tears, do you?

It was absolutely preposterous to think that Bennett, despite already being sent home once, would vault past men like Brendan and Zac and Ivan in Tayshia’s affections to claim a rose. Clearly his being allowed to return was nothing more than a stupid producer trick, a way to stir up a little crap among the men.

And indeed, the other men were visibly displeased when Bennett came strolling back in before the rose ceremony, looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. “You guys looks like you’ve seen a ghost,” Bennett cheerfully told Ben, Zac, Brendan, Ivan and Noah, before adding that he’d returned so he wouldn’t be written off as a “Harvard D-bag.”

Then, after all the nonsense about Tayshia feeling conflicted because Bennett told her he loved her, he didn’t even get to converse with her again before she gave roses to Zac, Ivan and Brendan (Ben already had one), dispatching Noah and Bennett.

I did feel bad for Riley, who seems like a good guy, but it had to be those four for hometowns given that they’re the men Tayshia had gotten closest to. If it wasn’t, it would have been quite the shocker.

Next it was time for a truncated “Men Tell All.”

The bad blood between Noah and Bennett was rehashed. Nothing new there. Noah accused Bennett of being condescending and conniving; Bennett accused Noah of creating all the drama. Riley sided with Noah, Kenny with Bennett. There was some shouting between Noah and Kenny, and Kenny had to be bleeped, and host Chris Harrison had to whistle to get them to simmer down. Bennett eventually apologized, but Noah told him he was “an ostentatious Harvard D-bag” and they’d never be friends.

That was small potatoes compared to the real D-bag in the room. Yosef Aborady returned to rehash his exit and his berating of first Bachelorette Clare Crawley over what he called the “classless” strip dodgeball date, which saw the losers of the game strip down to their man goodies (thanks Demar).

Yosef claimed he was “sticking up for these guys,” but Blake and Kenny, who’d both been starkers, said no thanks to that. Jason called Yosef out for being disrespectful to Clare and told him to “shut the fuck up” when Yosef tried to talk over Jason the same way he talked over Clare.

Asked by Harrison if he had any regrets, Yosef was adamant he did not.

“Just so we’re clear, when you watch that, you’re like that’s cool, I would never mind anyone talking to my daughter like that,” Harrison said.

“If my daughter did something like that I would hope somebody would call her out,” Yosef replied, which tells you pretty much everything you need to know right there.

I hope we never see that misogynistic creep on any Bachelor show ever again.

What a contrast between Yosef’s bullshit and Riley, who got emotional after watching tape of his breakup with Tayshia, telling her that despite the heartache, “I appreciate everything you did for me. I would not change this experience for anything in the world.”

Tayshia reassured Riley that he hadn’t scared her off by telling her about his past, which he said was “a weight off my chest.”

Tayshia also made Blake feel a little better, telling him she’d subconsciously put up walls to protect herself against him, knowing he’d had feelings for Clare.

“I’m glad now I can look at you with a smile and remember you like this and not like that,” Blake said, referring to their breakup. “That was brutal for the longest time.”

I know Harrison talks about the bloopers being the funniest part of “Men Tell All,” but what really made me laugh was he and Ed reliving their bromance, spawned when Ed went to the wrong suite while looking for Tayshia’s room at the resort.

“We had a good time, man,” Harrison said. “Just a couple of guys hanging out, having a nice bottle of wine.”

“It was pretty epic,” said Ed. “I’m somehow glad I wasn’t at Tayshia’s that night actually.”

Enjoy the laughs while you can. There were an awful lots of tears in the promo for the final three nights of the season.

The next episode airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv.

Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? You can comment here (no spam please) or come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Some men tell the truth, one dares to return on ‘Bachelorette’

December 9, 2020 /
Tayshia Adams referees the “teenage boy drama” between Noah and Bennett on “The Bachelorette.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

At one point on Tuesday’s “Bachelorette” Tayshia Adams talked about feeling like she was on a roller coaster. You want to know what else feels like a roller coaster? Starting the episode with the ridiculous spat between Noah and Bennett but being like “Yay, at least Tayshia sent Bennett home!”; moving on to hear decent guys like Ben and Riley share deeply personal and painful parts of their pasts and feeling like Tayshia might actually end up with a good person; then being rudely dragged back to ridiculousness by Bennett returning to . . . TELL TAYSHIA THAT HE LOVES HER!?!

The most ridiculous part of all? Tayshia seeming swayed enough by Bennett’s bullshit to consider keeping him around.

You don’t need a Harvard degree to know that’s a really bad idea, but it seems that’s exactly what Tayshia is going to do — at least long enough to rile up the other seven dudes who are still duking it out for hometown dates.

I mean god forbid some genuine, heartwarming things happen in an episode without some manufactured drama to counteract the good stuff and stir the pot.

Tayshia started out strong on Tuesday. She sat Noah and Bennett down and told them their beefing sounded like “teenage boy drama.” Then she told Bennett straight up that him saying there was zero chance she’d end up with Noah (although to be honest, he’s right) was him questioning Tayshia’s integrity: “You’re saying I’m not capable of making decisions of someone that’s . . . suited for me in the future.”

The best part was the pissed-off look on Tayshia’s face as Bennett mansplained his way through his theories of EQ (emotional intelligence), ending with the patronizing “You got this. I have every ounce of confidence in my mind and my heart that that is the case.” (What, no “you go girl”?) That was the point at which I knew Bennett was a goner. The only disappointment was that Tayshia didn’t send Noah packing as well — was it the fact he teared up while bemoaning Bennett’s way of talking to people “like they’re less” that saved his ass?

Whatever the case, Noah got to stay for the rose ceremony and then he got a rose — over Ed (sorry to Ed’s bestie, Chris Harrison, but no big loss), Demar (seriously?) and Spencer, who went from first impression rose winner to zero impression. I mean we’ve barely heard a peep from the guy since that first episode when Tayshia seemed infatuated with him.

Next up was a one-on-one date between Tayshia and Ben.

Forget the part where they rode around the resort on scooters looking for clues to an “oasis,” i.e. a different area of the resort. The big event was dinner where Ben’s pain was the main course.

You think last week‘s confession of his eating disorder was enough to win Ben a rose and a hometown date? Nah! “I don’t know if we can actually be something if he doesn’t open up to me,” Tayshia said.

Well, how’s this for opening up? Ben confessed that after growing up in an outwardly perfect but emotionally lacking family, after leaving home at 18 to join the army, after leaving the military and breaking his back, he was in such a dark place that he tried to commit suicide twice.

Ben assured Tayshia that “the person you see before you today isn’t that person” thanks to therapy, which I hope for Ben’s sake is true.

Ben got the rose, obviously, and then it was on to the group date and more painful revelations.

The shtick was that Zac, Brendan, Ivan, Noah and Riley all had to take “lie detector tests,” answering questions about themselves and their feelings for Tayshia. What it looked like was a laptop hooked up to lights — green for truth, red for lies, yellow for “I’m not sure” — that some unseen producer could manipulate.

The key revelations were Zac answering yes to the question “Have you ever cheated on someone?” and Riley getting a red fail light when stating his name.

First things first: Tayshia was all “Cheating is something I won’t tolerate” with Zac, until he explained that the cheating was kissing another girl at the Bowlerama when he was in Grade 6. They had a good laugh together and said they were falling in love with each other.

Earlier in the episode, Riley got Tayshia some cake for their “one week anniversary.”

It was more complicated for Riley, who was driven to tears by the idea of telling Tayshia about his “rocky” family life. Turns out the name he gave during the test — Devon Riley Christian — isn’t the one he was born with. He was originally named Dwayne Henderson Jr. after his father.

The story got a bit disjointed from there: Riley’s father had sole custody of the kids after Riley’s parents divorced and he told Riley stuff that made him resent his mother, but now Riley and his mother are reconciled and his father is “not here,” but whether he’s dead or just not in Riley’s life wasn’t clear. In any event, Riley said he felt he needed to start from scratch in order to “be an honourable man” and so he changed his name.

Tayshia also did some serious bonding with Brendan and was vibing with Ivan and Noah as well (yeah, I don’t get that one either), so I wasn’t surprised when she said she wasn’t ready to hand out the date rose and needed more time to think it over.

But the fact that she had some meaningful interactions with some men who seem like they actually have something to offer made Bennett showing up at her door after the date all the more annoying.

First off, isn’t the fact that Bennett came back after Tayshia sent him home the ultimate questioning of her integrity? Secondly, he gave her the same lame excuse as before about how he never meant to question her decision-making. Except this time he added, “I’m so, so, so sorry” and “I love you.” And Tayshia claimed to be confused and to need a day to consider whether Bennett could stay.

Seriously? Eazy told Tayshia he was falling in love with her and he was gone in a flash (and yes, I have read about the sexual assault allegation against Eazy and if it’s true shame on him, but I liked him during his time on the show way better than Bennett). Bennett tells Tayshia he loves her and she’s all “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard the words ‘I love you’ and it means absolutely everything.”

Actually, I think it means absolutely nothing coming from Bennett’s mouth, but maybe that’s just me.

If Tayshia truly was feeling doubt about sending Bennett away — and I’m at a loss as to why she would — clearly some devious producer exploited that by inviting Bennett back to drop his bombshell. Either that or Tayshia is playing along with the drama.

Speaking of drama, the promo for next week’s two-nighter shows lots of unhappy looking men, Bennett strolling into the cocktail party room with a shit-eating grin, and Tayshia crying a lot and saying she’s done, plus an ornery-looking episode of “Men Tell All.” It airs Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv.

Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? You can comment here (no spam please) or come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

It’s boo! and bye-bye for one man on ‘The Bachelorette’

December 2, 2020 /
Zac and Tayshia demonstrate the mood on the latest “Bachelorette” episode, as in up and down.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Welcome to “The Bachelorette,” a.k.a. “The Haunting of La Quinta Resort.”

Not only was there a date that involved ghost-hunting, Tayshia professed to be haunted by memories of her first marriage; various men dredged up haunted bits of their pasts, like drug addiction, an eating disorder and horrible home lives; and then there was the Ghost of Squabbles Past as the Bennett and Noah feud kept rolling along.

By next week, one of them (maybe both?) will be but a spectre as far as Tayshia’s concerned since she promised to send one of them home before the end of the episode. In the meantime, let’s dig into our fourth week AC (after Clare).

First we had a bit of fluff with previous Bachelorette JoJo Fletcher (and yes, I agree, her face really did look different) showing up to supposedly offer Tayshia moral support, but really to fill in as dispenser of date cards for host Chris Harrison while he took his son to college.

Zac got the first one-on-one, which started with a cringey fake wedding photo shoot that had Tayshia remembering the first time she wore a wedding gown, i.e. her failed marriage. But that led to Zac confessing that he’d been married before, too, which was cool with Tayshia.

There was a lot more to Zac’s story, as Tayshia found out at dinner: a brain tumour at 23; a marriage that lasted only a year because of his drinking and drug-taking; a DUI arrest; stealing from his own father; two rehab stints, the second of which was the charm.

Woah! Talk about a change from the usual vapid getting-to-know-you talk.

It turned Zac into a contender, which is fine, but it’s getting kind of crowded in the “men Tayshia could end up with” corner, which also includes, by her own admission, Brendan, Ben, Ivan, possibly Riley.

Mind you, she did thin the herd during the second one-on-one date.

Tayshia and Eazy on a previous episode of “The Bachelorette.”

Tayshia and Eazy went ghost-hunting since La Quinta is supposedly occupied by the spirits of an oil baron who formerly owned the land, and his wife and baby, who both died after childbirth. The hunt involved walking into a couple of rooms that Tayshia said were freezing cold, hearing sounds and seeing things move (a chair in one case, a framed photo in another), then running away screaming. Ghosts? More likely producers with strings.

It was a fun date, in any event, or at least it was until dinner came around. Eazy said he was falling in love with Tayshia and it was clear from the startled look on her face this wasn’t going to end well.

Tayshia did the old “pick up the rose, then say you can’t have it” fake-out, although she did seem genuinely sorry to hurt Eazy’s feelings. “I’m not there where you are and I don’t know if I can get there,” she said.

Eazy was so stunned he asked, “Tayshia, this is real? You sure?” as she walked him to the waiting SUV.

The most substantial part of the episode came during the group date. It started out frivolously enough with Spencer, Ivan, Ed, Blake, Brendan, Riley, Demar, Bennett, Ben and Noah walking into a room where two naked people were posing and immediately fearing they’d have to take their clothes off . . . again.

But it was just a life-drawing session followed by blindfolded sculpting. “Fifty Shades of Clay,” quipped Bennett after he took advantage of the blindfolds to smooch Tayshia when no one else could see. Spencer sculpted a pepperoni pizza; Ben crafted an infinity symbol; Blake made a penis: way to rep Canada, dude!

Bennett made “homes” for himself and Tayshia in New York, the Hamptons and California, omitting the “mountain retreat” and the “chateau in Paris.” I believe that’s what one calls “flaunting your wealth” — although personally I’m surprised he didn’t build a scale model of Harvard.

But the silliness ended with the self-portrait part of the challenge, the goal of which was that whoever “opened up” the most would win extra time with Tayshia.

Blake talked about growing up in a “pretty failed household” and wanting a “true original family that I just never had”; Riley talked about his estrangement from his mother after his parents’ divorce; Ivan shared his fear that his father, who’d already had cancer twice and a heart attack, was going to die; Ben let his guard down by taking all his clothes off, which at first seemed like a gimmick, until later when he told Tayshia he had suffered from an eating disorder for 15 years.

Tayshia was so moved by the stories she went backstage to cry and then announced she couldn’t choose just one person to get extra time, which was the right thing to do.

Tayshia with Noah on a previous “Bachelorette” episode.

Ben got the date rose, deservedly so. But then things went from the sublime to the ridiculous with the sniping between Bennett and Noah.

I haven’t been Noah’s biggest fan, but holy hell, is Bennett ever condescending! “Young Noah” blah blah blah “I’m not on ‘The Babysitter,’ I’m on ‘The Bachelorette’ blah blah blah . . . completely ignoring the fact that the insults make Bennett seem more immature than he’s accusing Noah of being.

Tayshia called them both on the nonsense. They were summoned to an instant two-on-one to take place before the cocktail party before the rose ceremony.

Bennett claimed to wanted to make peace with Noah, so he brought him a present. It consisted of a bandana in homage to conversations they’d had about their fondnesses for ranching and cowboying (nice); a pair of moustache socks because “the only place you should wear a moustache is on your feet” (not so nice); and a book about emotional intelligence because Bennett said Noah was deficient in that (nasty).

Bennett reverted to telling Noah he had zero chance of ending up with Tayshia. Truthfully, both of them have zero chance of ending up with Tayshia; it’s just a question of who finds that out soonest.

It wasn’t looking so good for Bennett when the episode ended with a “To be continued.” He repeated his comment about Noah’s zero chance in front of Tayshia, which she said was “essentially questioning my integrity,” and then she asked, “What’s in the box?”

Next week, besides settling Noah vs. Bennett and presumably having a rose ceremony, there will be tears for Zac and Riley, and jitters for Brendan.

“The Bachelorette” airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? You can comment here (no spam please) or come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

The talk gets real, the orgasms are fake on ‘The Bachelorette’

November 25, 2020 /
Harvard grad Bennett “proposes” to Tayshia Adams on “The Bachelorette.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Fake orgasms that would do Meg Ryan proud; not one but two men sneaking around to visit Tayshia (and, um, Chris Harrison); a pillow fight and a game of Twister; and even a serious conversation about Black Lives Matter — there was a lot going on in Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette,” like. A. Lot.

At times it was almost as if other reality shows had insinuated themselves into the proceedings. The group date contestants drinking smoothies with disgusting lists of ingredients like chicken feet and cow intestines made me think a bit of “Survivor.” When Ben and Ed both set off to visit Tayshia in her suite, it was like watching two teams head for the Pit Stop at the end of an “Amazing Race” episode, not knowing which would get there first.

And when Ed got lost and ended up in host Chris Harrison’s suite instead it was the best thing ever.

Whether or not Tayshia Adams is further along in her quest to get hitched, we viewers are further along in our journey to fall in love with the show again after the season’s weird and frustrating start.

We ended the night with a classic bit of franchise drama when Noah claimed the other men were questioning Tayshia’s integrity, which got Tayshia so riled up she gave them a dressing down and cancelled the rest of the cocktail party, which then led to even more shade being thrown at Noah. Good times.

It all started off innocently enough. Eight of the 16 men who were left had to write and perform love songs for Tayshia. None of them could sing — or rap, for that matter.

Bennett worked his Harvard degree into his verses, of course; Blake played, and I use that word loosely, an accordion and a mandolin; Demar whipped up a little ditty he called “Mocha Latte”; but it was Ivan who took it home by inviting Tayshia up on the makeshift stage for his sentimental “rap.”

Ivan and Tayshia at last week’s “grown man challenge.” This week, he got to jump on her actual bed.

Ivan won the prize, a night in Tayshia’s suite, and it was the most pandemic-friendly date we’ve seen all season. Tayshia wore sweatpants; they ordered in room service; they played “the floor is lava” and Twister and went barefoot lawn bowling and had a pillow fight.

Things got serious when Ivan and Tayshia started talking about their families. He revealed, tears running down his cheeks, that his younger brother had spent four years in jail and gone through “some really dark times,” including getting beaten up by prison guards.

“Especially with George Floyd and that’s police brutality, and that’s something that really hit home for me,” Ivan said, referring to the Black man killed by a white police officer in Minneapolis in May, whose death kicked off worldwide Black Lives Matter protests.

Tayshia got so emotional thinking about the subject she couldn’t speak.

“I don’t know why it does so much but it’s like, it hurts a lot,” she said when she regained her voice.

They also talked about what it was like to grow up being mixed race, surrounded by people who didn’t look like them, and how inspirational it was to see so many people come together for the Black Lives Matter movement.

“We’re both biracial, have Black dads and have this beautiful love story developing. This is so big,” Ivan said.

It was no wonder that by the end of the date Tayshia described Ivan as really special. “He understands me more than anybody else can.”

It was a rare, refreshing dose of reality, as opposed to reality TV.

But then a new day dawned and a new group date, and it was back to silliness.

Becca Kufrin and Sydney Lotuaco help Tayshia out with her group date.

Six of the men played “Tayshia’s Truth or Dare” overseen by her friends, former “Bachelorette” Becca Kufrin and former “Bachelor” contestant Sydney Lotuaco.

The first part of it was all dares: chugging the aforementioned gross smoothies; interrupting Harrison at his lunch of crab legs and Veuve Clicquot to get him to sign their butt cheeks; eating habanero peppers and “proposing” to Tayshia, but the best — or worst, depending on your point of view — was faking orgasms over a loudspeaker so the rest of the resort could hear.

Think Meg Ryan from “When Harry Met Sally,” but louder and lewder. “I would direct him to the ER if I heard that,” quipped Becca after Kenny’s turn, which included the well known erotic phrase “Back up, back up.”

“Wow, he’s flexible, he’s bendy,” Becca said after Blake threw his leg up on a dais in the throes of fake passion.

Bennett, whom I’ve regarded as mainly comic relief up to this point, got carried away with the faux proposal. “Today was incredibly real in my mind and in my heart,” he said. “It’s the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever been a part of.”

Tayshia and Zac hang out on a previous date; hot tub not included.

Tayshia seemed to get closer to all six men, including Riley and Demar, on the evening or “truth” part of the date, but none more so than Zac, if by getting closer you mean making out in a hot tub. Zac got the date rose.

And then it was time for Ben and Ed’s Excellent Adventure.

You’ll recall that on last week‘s group date, the one that Noah crashed, Ben didn’t get to talk to Tayshia because he waited too long and ran out of time. Still brooding over that — and with Harrison’s advice that “Tayshia likes bold” to guide him — Ben went on a “secret mission” to Tayshia’s room.

And wouldn’t you know that Ed had the same bright idea, so we saw them both skulking through the resort on their way to Tayshia’s suite. It looked like Ed had beat Ben there; he knocked on the door, it opened . . . and there was Harrison in a sweatsuit saying, “It’s 2:30 in the morning. What are you doing?”

What Ed was doing was drinking red wine with Chris while Ben kissed and made up with Tayshia. Harrison eventually sent Ed on his way with directions. There was a knock on Tayshia’s door mid-smooch with Ben. Was it Ed? Nope, just a guy delivering champagne and strawberries. Ed never did find Tayshia’s suite, but he wasn’t too upset about it, describing his chat with Chris as “a great consolation.”

Noah with Tayshia when he still had what Bennett called “that terrible skidmark above his lip.”

By the time rose ceremony day rolled around, Ed was back to doing what he does best: complaining about other guys. This time it was Noah, whom Ed said was “a joke” and not there for the right reasons, blah, blah, blah. Bennett said Noah was too “juvenile” to end up with Tayshia.

That set the stage for Noah to whine to Tayshia about the heat he was getting from the other men over his fence-jumping, group date-crashing, moustache-shaving behaviour. “It’s been implied you gave me the rose just to shake things up,” Noah said, which was basically like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

To Tayshia, it went from the men taunting Noah because they think he’s a jerk — which seems pretty accurate — to the men questioning her integrity. She marched them all into a room and told them, “If you guys think that I’m just trying to start drama in the house for no reason, simply because I have a connection with some people, y’all need to grow up. If you’re gonna be questioning me, like, I’ll gladly walk you outside.” And that was the end of the cocktail party.

Noah fessed up that he was the reason for Tayshia’s bad mood and guess what? That just annoyed the other guys even more. “You ruined Tayshia’s night for your own glory,” Bennett said. More likely, he had some coaching from a helpful producer.

When rose time came, Ben, Eazy, Riley, Brendan, Bennett, Blake, Demar and Spencer all got roses along with Ed, leaving Kenny, Chasen, Jordan and Joe out in the cold.

Why did Tayshia give Ed a rose over nice, non-drama-causing Joe? No offence to her integrity, but I think I just answered my own question.

Next week, the animosity between Bennett and Noah ramps up, and Tayshia is not impressed.

“The Bachelorette” airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? Come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Two men plus one stupid beef equals Bachelorette drama

November 18, 2020 /
Ed, Joe, Eazy, Brendan and Tayshia on a “Bachelorette” wrestling date. ALL PHOTOS: Craig Sjodin/ABC

Among the things we learned on Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette”: numeracy and literacy standards appear to be slipping among the contestants.

At this point, somebody should be demanding contestant Bennett’s Harvard transcripts because, for all the boasting he continues to do about attending that prestigious university, he got both the math questions wrong during a group date challenge — and I’m not talking tough stuff like calculus or differential equations, just basic addition and subtraction. Oh, and he can’t spell “limousine.”

And then we have Chasen and his limited vocabulary: the two words he used over and over again were “smokeshow” (which can also be spelled as two words) and “Wolverine”: as in “Tayshia is a smokeshow” and “I’m bringing out my inner Wolverine.”

A more accurate word for what was going on with Chasen would be “shitshow” as in “This constant bickering between Chasen and Ed is a shitshow.”

If you were worried that this quarantine season of “The Bachelorette” — already turned upside down by Clare Crawley’s brief reign before Tayshia Adams took over — wouldn’t get back to normal, relax. It doesn’t get more normal than a couple of guys arguing about which of them is there for the right reasons and both of them getting roses and both of them going on a group date that involves intense physical competition in the hope there will be violence.

Oh sure, Tayshia is looking for a “grown ass man,” but the series continues to revel in toxic masculinity.

The episode’s first group date was literally called the “grown man challenge” and it was presided over by married “Bachelor in Paradise” couple Ashley Iaconetti and Jared Haibon. (Was there a whole shadow cast of “Bachelor” favourites quarantining at La Quinta? Or did they just give them COVID tests and parachute them in? What’s a swab up the nose when you’ve got reality TV fame to maintain?)

Besides the math and spelling questions, the men had to pair off in tugs-of-war and make Tayshia breakfast in bed. Tayshia was alone in bed until Bennett, wearing a bathrobe (what? no cosmetic mask?), crawled in with her and hand-fed her doughnuts, so he won the “grown ass man award,” despite his atrocious spelling and math, and the fact he bowed out of the tug-of-war because of an “old football knee injury.”

Bennett might not be able to add, but his “bougie” ways won over Tayshia on a group date.

Ed was named the “man child” and had to carry around a baby doll, which he named Carlos.

Initially, it looked like the beefing was going to be between Chasen and Bennett. Chasen said Bennett was “classless” for laying a smooch on Tayshia in front of the other men after he won the challenge. And when Bennett tried to talk to Tayshia first during the group date cocktail party, Chasen cut in. But then Ed started blabbing to Bennett about how he didn’t think Chasen was that into Tayshia; Bennett repeated it to Chasen and we were off to the races.

I won’t bore you with the whole he said, he said. Apparently Chasen used the same adjectives to describe both Clare and Tayshia and, golly, if that’s not evidence of fakeness I don’t know what is.

Chasen’s response, besides insulting Ed’s “chicken legs,” was to threaten to bring out his inner Wolverine (as in the Marvel character with the really big claws) and to get in Ed’s face because didn’t he know that when Tayshia showed up Chasen “pivoted”?

Besides, Chasen came up with a new word for Tayshia after he was challenged by Ed: “smokeshow,” which, as Bennett pointed out, is a noun, not an adjective.

If I was Tayshia I would have sent both Ed and Chasen home — I mean, Chasen’s 31 and says he’s never been in love; I’d be red-flagging the hell out of that — but that is not the “Bachelorette” way, so they got the final two of the 13 roses she handed out at the rose ceremony. (Counting the roses given to Brendan and Spencer last week and the one to Ivan on the group date, that leaves her with 16 men.)

A new day at La Quinta meant a new chance to stoke the antagonism between Chasen and Ed, so they both got sent on a group date (along with Eazy, Brendan, Joe, Jordan, Spencer and Ben) that involved wrestling.

There were a couple of minor boo-boos — a scraped knee for Jordan, a cut foot for Ben — but the main event was going to be Chasen and Ed kicking each other’s asses until . . . Ed bowed out because of chronically dislocated shoulders? Funny he didn’t mention that when everyone was training with WWE hall of famer Amy Dumas and UFC champ Tatiana Suarez.

Noah, and his moustache, answers the call and wrestles with Chasen.

So host Chris Harrison, who was MCing the so-called “Bachelorette Wrestlemania” with “Bachelorette” and “Bachelor in Paradise” alum Wells Adams, asked if anybody else wanted to fight Chasen. And Noah, who was there as a spectator with all the other guys who weren’t on the date, jumped over a fence into the ring and took Chasen on in his jeans. I guess we’re supposed to believe that was all Noah’s idea. I am highly skeptical.

Anyway, Noah lost the match but won an invitation to the cocktail party from Tayshia, which pissed off the eight guys who were officially on the group date. Not just that, Noah scored the first alone time with Tayshia and then he double dipped! And because Tayshia approved of Noah’s fence-jumping, and also because he allowed her to shave off his cheesy moustache (good riddance) and she really, really liked kissing his newly smooth face, Tayshia gave Noah the date rose.

It was especially irksome for Ben, who plotted to be the last one to speak to Tayshia before she gave away the rose but ran out of time.

Noah lost some ugly facial hair, but he gained a a nice big target on his back.

Next week, look for Tayshia to get smoochy with Bennett, Ben, Ivan and Zac, and for tension to brew between Bennett, Noah and — surprise, surprise — Ed. And then Tayshia lays down the law: “If you guys are trying to start drama in the house for no reason I’ll gladly walk you outside.”

I think that’s what you call a grown ass woman.

“The Bachelorette” airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? Come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelorette Tayshia gets some W’s. Spencer isn’t one of them

November 11, 2020 /
Tayshia Adams has her first group date on “The Bachelorette.” ALL PHOTOS: Craig Sjodin/ABC

Clare who?

Tayshia Adams began her reign Tuesday as the ABC franchise’s 17th Bachelorette — or should that be 16A? — and she was off to a generally stellar beginning.

If I can borrow a phrase from the man who has rocketed to the top of my villain list, Tayshia scored some “W’s.”

Except for one fellow — more on him later — the men left behind when Clare Crawley abruptly departed with new fiance Dale Moss were eager to switch their romantic aspirations to Tayshia and why wouldn’t they be? She came in like a ray of sunshine, announcing, “I’m Tayshia and I’m here for all of you.”

And damned if she didn’t back up those words with actions. When four new guys (who were reportedly alternates from Clare’s original group) were parachuted in — a nasty little trick by the producers to stir up crap with the 16 Clare castoffs — Tayshia cancelled the rose ceremony rather than make the original dudes feel worse by sending some of them home right away.

She seemed genuinely keen to learn as much as she could about as many of the men as she could. She even got me to look twice at a couple of guys who had flown completely under my radar, Zac and Brendan. And instead of making the losers in a group date competition forfeit any additional time with her, as usually happens, she let them return for the after-party.

So yes, Tayshia seems like an all-around class act, except . . . can we talk about the first impression rose recipient?

Tayshia Adams hands over the first impression rose to Spencer Robertson. Ugh.

She gave it to one of the new guys, Spencer, a 30-year-old water treatment engineer from San Diego.

My first impression? He’s a tool, a pretty tool perhaps (Tayshia described him as “hot, hot, hot, hot”), but a tool nonetheless.

After meeting Tayshia, Spencer greeted the 16 OGs, already rattled that a limo with who knows how many extra men had just pulled up, by asking, “So which one of you guys scared away Clare?” Ballsy maybe, also kind of a dick move.

Another red flag? His aggression during the group date splash ball game. It wasn’t Luke Parker body-slamming Luke Stone level physicality, but it exposed a certain preoccupation with winning — and cost him a bloody lip when Riley elbowed Spencer to get him off his back, connecting with Spencer’s mouth.

Spencer seemed nonplussed about the injury, although he managed to milk it for attention from Tayshia. After his team won the game, he said he was looking forward to more victories, particularly the group date rose, “the ultimate W.”

“I have a good reading on Tayshia, I’m feeling pretty confident in myself and I’ve got this in the bag,” Spencer declared, this after telling the other men that Tayshia was “the primary objective.”

Maybe it’s just Spencer getting the villain edit, but his comments were real clangers compared to the words of, say, Eazy, who talked about Tayshia making him feel smiley and giddy.

And no, Spencer didn’t get the “W.” The date rose went to Eazy, thank goodness.

In between the group date and Tayshia’s one-on-one with Brendan, there was a man overboard.

Jason confessed that he still had feelings for Clare and had to leave. And before you scoff, just remember that Dale ended up engaged to Clare after just two weeks, so who are we to say that Jason’s therapy one-on-one wasn’t a game-changer for him?

Tayshia was a bit less gracious about Jason’s departure than I would have expected, telling him she was sad that he was making one of her fears come true: that some of the guys would still be hung up on Clare. Given the rave reviews Tayshia had been getting up to that point it seemed like a pretty groundless fear — or perhaps just a little made-for-TV drama.

Brendan Morais, a potential front-runner after Tuesday, with Tayshia.

Tayshia’s spirits were restored by her one-on-one with Brendan, who told her she was more his type than Clare “in every single way.”

The limitations of being confined to La Quinta Resort for dates were comically exemplified by host Chris Harrison using a scooter to constantly intercept Tayshia and Brendan as they rode horses around the grounds, offering them margaritas, ice cream and coconut water. All Brendan wanted to do was kiss Tayshia, so he wasn’t digging the interruptions. He finally got his chance when he and Tayshia ditched the horses for a dip in the pool. Luckily, Harrison didn’t pop up like a Loch Ness TV host or something.

At dinner, Brendan and Tayshia bonded over the fact they had both married young and then divorced. Brendan explained that he’d fallen out of love with his high school sweetheart, particularly after learning she didn’t want children. Tayshia, whose college sweetheart spouse had cheated on her, was down with having kids; in fact, she said she wants five (!).

“I think I could marry him,” said Tayshia of Brendan. They ended the date with some very smoochy fireworks viewing.

That’s as far as we got in Tayshia’s “journey” since a chunk of the episode was eaten up by a Clare and Dale “tell-all.”

Clare Crawley and Dale Moss returned to La Quinta to talk to Chris Harrison.

What did they tell? Nothing particularly new or startling. They were still in love, still engaged. Clare cried — I know, shocker — talking about her late father and how he would be “so over the moon for me.” Asked by Harrison what’s next, Clare yelled, “Babies!” while Dale said they’d get married first, although I wouldn’t try to get between a 39-year-old woman and her biological clock if I was him.

The main point of the exercise seemed to be a chance for Harrison to confront the pair about whether they had communicated before they met on the show — because apparently it’s difficult for people to grasp the whole love at first sight thing.

Clare repeated what she’d already said: that she followed Dale on social media (along with some of the other men) and liked what she saw, but they never spoke, texted or otherwise made any contact, “on my dad’s grave.” Dale said the same. So yeah, I think that’s a no.

“I just wish people could be happy for me,” said Clare.

“Whether it took one day or 10 days, or two weeks or two years, this man makes me happy.”

Works for me.

Next week, it looks like the toxic masculinity is getting dialled up. There’s a wrestling date, there are medics called, new guy Noah does something that pisses everybody off, and Chasen and Ed get surly with each other. Oh and Wells Adams makes a guest appearance, but I’m not calling him toxic.

“The Bachelorette” airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? Come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

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