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Tag: Ben

Someone put a ring on it on ‘The Bachelorette’ season finale

Host Chris Harrison and Bachelorette Tayshia Adams on proposal day.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

SPOILER ALERT: STOP READING NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHO TAYSHIA GOT ENAGAGED TO.

As a certain 16th-century playwright once wrote, “All’s well that ends well.”

There were moments of frustration on the “Bachelorette” finale, to be sure — Ben being allowed to stay, a very unhelpful daddy-daughter talk — but Tayshia Adams ended up engaged to Zac Clark after a truly beautiful proposal and seemed to be deliriously happy.

I don’t know about you, but I had myself a good cry. As Tayshia might say, it was a lot.

Given what we’ve watched the last couple of weeks, it seemed very likely that Zac would be the last man standing, not that “Bachelorette” producers didn’t try to throw us off the trail.

First there was the return of Ben Smith, which I thought was kind of ridiculous.

Just repeating “I love you” over and over again should not have been good enough for a second chance. I was expecting Tayshia to tell him that he was too late and to send him home for good, but instead she invited him to that night’s rose ceremony and then she kissed him — like, really kissed him. Ugh.

Still, I figured Tayshia would give the first rose to Zac then seem to waver between Ben and Ivan for drama’s sake before giving the second rose to Ivan. Instead, she picked up a rose, put it down again and uttered the dreaded words, “Ivan, can we talk really quickly?”

So yes, Ivan was sent home. Tayshia blamed it on religious differences that had come up during their overnight date. “At the end of the day religion’s part of my morals and my beliefs,” she said.

What does that mean? Is Ivan an atheist? Does he only go to church at Christmas and Easter? We never found out. Ivan went pretty quietly although he did say in the SUV of Shame that he figured Tayshia wouldn’t end up with anybody because “me and her made the most sense.”

Ivan and Tayshia on their hometown date, presumably not talking about religion.

His departure raises a couple of questions. Had Ben not shown up, would Tayshia have gone through the charade of introducing Ivan to her parents for the sake of the format, despite knowing they were incompatible? Was Ben allowed to come back just so Tayshia could send Ivan home and still have two finalists?

Whatever Ben might have thought was going on, it was clear after watching both him and Zac with Tayshia’s family that he was around just to make up the numbers.

For instance, Tayshia’s father Desmond asked Ben, “What do you see in Tayshia?” His answer: “For me, what made me come back to this experience, even though I was sent home, is the way that she makes me feel and I would be an idiot not to come back.”

Sorry dude, but that answer’s about you, not her.

Zac’s responses seemed less self-centred and more mature.

When Desmond expressed concern that an engagement between Zac and Tayshia might be a “test” rather than a commitment, Zac replied, “What I’ve really had to look at is, when all this goes away and it’s just me and her, life is not always easy. Supporting each other through these tough times is what I actually look forward to.”

So, in other words, he seemed to have thought beyond the “Tayshia makes me feel good” stage.

In any event, there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships, on or off “The Bachelorette,” which is why it was kind of annoying when Desmond turned up at Tayshia’s door to have a doom and gloom conversation with her.

“I’ve seen you hurt before and I can’t let that happen this time,” he told her, referring to her divorce. “Seeing these guys, we don’t want things to go backwards for you. It might not be what you want to hear, but I don’t want you to be making the biggest mistake of your life.”

Gee, thanks Dad.

I have a few questions of my own. Is Tayshia not an adult capable of making her own decisions? How exactly do you keep somebody from getting hurt unless you lock them in a room and throw away the key? Was this conversation all her father’s idea or did production have a hand in it? If it happened just before her date with Zac, as it was presented, why was Tayshia wearing the same denim dress she had on when she went to see Ben, whose date appeared to come after Zac’s?

Tayshia and Zac on their fantasy suite date.

However it unfolded, Tayshia did seem rattled when she met with Zac. They had a good time at their dance lesson, but that night Tayshia expressed her fears: that Zac’s feelings might change if she put her career ambitions aside to become a full-time mother, that he might eventually run away.

Zac, who was celebrating his ninth anniversary of being sober, told her the reason his recovery was so important to him was because “it allowed me to not run away . . . and actually face life as it comes my way.”

“To hear you say your fear is that things will change or that I’ll run or whatever it is breaks my heart because if I were given the opportunity to propose to you, I am not doing that unless I am committing to you, for life.”

Tayshia’s mind was set at ease, so much so that she didn’t even bother having her final date with Ben. She visited him in his room and gave him the old “I care about you so much” — pause — “I just feel like my heart is with somebody else” speech.

There was nothing left on the to-do list but a proposal.

We had to endure some more commentary about Tayshia’s doubts — and she started crying when she checked in with Chris Harrison — but of course she and Zac were getting engaged. Duh.

I won’t repeat Zac’s whole proposal speech. The part that really got me went as follows: “I love you, Tayshia. I love you because you’re a fighter. I love you ’cause you’re a strong, independent woman. You make everyone around you better. I love you because you believe in me. I love you because you’re a total dork. And I love you because you drive me absolutely wild. I love everything about you.”

I’ve had a few people tell me they don’t buy that Tayshia and Zac really love each other. It seemed pretty convincing to me.

Tayshia gave a lovely speech too, telling him, “I love you, Zac Clark. And I’ll do absolutely anything to keep that huge smile on your face because you do everything to keep a huge smile on mine.”

There was an emerald-cut Neil Lane diamond to put on her finger, a final rose to put on his lapel, happy tears, laughter, hugs, kisses, dancing and then they hailed the cardboard taxi from their hometown date and carried it away with a “Just engaged” sign on the back, which was absolutely adorable.

There was no “After the Final Rose” for us to bask in their joy (or to commiserate if they had broken up), but judging from the interview that Tayshia gave to People magazine, which appeared Tuesday night, it seems she and Zac are still very much a thing.

Assuming that Clare Crawley and Dale Moss are still together — and from what I can glean online, they are — “Bachelorette” producers must be feeling extremely pleased with themselves. Not only did they pull off a satisfying season during a pandemic, they ended up with two engagements, almost as good as a season of “Bachelor in Paradise.”

Now we’ll have to see if Matt James can keep up the streak when his “Bachelor” season starts Jan. 4.

I’ll be watching and recapping. In the meantime, you can comment here (no spam please), come visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

It’s down to 2 — oops, we’re back to 3 men — on ‘The Bachelorette’

Tayshia Adams and Zac Clark get handsy during Night 1
of the “Bachelorette” season finale. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Things got messy during the fantasy suites episode of “The Bachelorette” — and I don’t mean because Tayshia and Zac spent part of their date slathering each other in paint.

Their time together was one of the cleanest parts of Monday’s episode in that it seemed pretty straightforward: Zac said he loved Tayshia; she said she loved him back; Zac seemed like the man to beat in the proposal derby.

But Tayshia’s journey hit a couple of big pot holes. First, Brendan Morais, the man who seemed like the biggest threat to Zac’s frontrunner status, sent himself home after deciding he wasn’t ready to commit to Tayshia. Then Ben Smith, the guy Tayshia sent home last week, came back to declare his love and complicate the hell out of everything.

Here’s how I thought the night was going to go: Tayshia was going to send dear sweet Ivan Hall away and make Zac and Brendan the final two. Even if Ben did come back, as everyone expected, Tayshia would send him home . . . again.

Now? Well, considering we saw Tayshia kissing Ben in the promo for Tuesday’s episode it looks like she might give him another chance. What does that mean for Ivan and Zac? Guess we’ll find out tomorrow night.

In the meantime, we’ve got a couple of fantasy suites to talk about.

Brrrrr. Tayshia and Ivan climb into tubs of ice water on their date.

Ivan was first up. I’m not sure who decides who gets what date, but from my point of view he got a raw deal — as in raw from the cold. He and Tayshia set a record for “world’s longest coldest kiss” by smooching while sitting in tubs of ice water for more than six minutes. “How is this going to affect his performance in the fantasy suite later tonight?” quipped host Chris Harrison, who oversaw the event with “Bachelor” security dude Big Paulie.

Things warmed up from there. Later, at another one of those dinners where nobody actually eats, Ivan told Tayshia he was falling in love with her. Personally, I was suspicious of the fact that she looked down instead of right at him when he said it, but she did tell him, “I definitely have been falling for you too.”

After going through the charade of reading the fantasy suite card (as if he was going to say no to forgoing his individual room) they repaired to possibly the cutest fantasy suite ever in an Airstream trailer. Ivan said they stayed up all night talking. The end result: Ivan was ready to propose and Tayshia said she could picture “a really beautiful life” with him.

One down, two to go.

Tayshia and Zac during the clothed part of their painting exercise.

There was no ice involved in Zac’s date with Tayshia. They started hot and just kept sizzling along. Having to strip down to bathing suits and cover each other with body paint fuelled their natural chemistry. There was much smooching.

At dinner, Tayshia, who’s said a couple of times that she wants five children, questioned Zac about his mother’s contention that he didn’t want any kids. Zac assured her he was ready to be a dad and, furthermore, “I don’t think, I know that I love you,” Zac told her.

“I love your smile, your strength, how you treat other people. I just love the human being that you are.”

Tayshia put her hand to her face, seeming overcome by emotion, and replied, “It’s just wild because I love you too.”

She seemed delighted by Zac’s admission, laughing and kissing him, and making him repeat the words. The laughing and kissing continued in the fantasy suite, where it looked like Zac and Tayshia might stay up doing more than talking, but who knows?

But despite how thrilled Tayshia seemed with Zac — they even jumped on the bed together — she noted that Brendan had had her heart “since Day 1.”

Nobody who saw her heartwarming “hometown” date with Brendan could doubt there was a real bond between them, which made what came next all the more shocking.

Don’t let the smile fool you. Brendan seemed nervous during his diamond date with Tayshia.

Going into the date, Brendan said he was nervous about the idea of proposing, but in the normal scheme of things you’d expect those jitters to subside in the fantasy suite. Except Brendan gave off a deer caught in the headlights vibe when he and Tayshia met up with resident “Bachelor” jeweller Neil Lane and Tayshia tried on bling, including wedding rings.

It seems so Machiavellian. The guy’s getting cold feet about getting engaged so trap him in a room full of engagement and wedding bands. If the point was indeed to stoke Brendan’s doubts it worked like a charm.

Holding back tears, he told Tayshia at dinner that he wanted a wife and kids “more than anything on the face of this Earth, but then coming to the realization that there’s a big part of me that’s still broken, there’s a big part of me that still needs time to heal,” Brendan said.

“All I want is to give you my whole heart, but as I sit here today my heart isn’t whole and it really breaks my heart, because you deserve a man that is complete and you deserve a man who is healed from his past and, unfortunately, right now I’m not that man.”

It was one of the more heartbreaking goodbyes we’ve seen in the franchise. Tayshia cried as she and Brendan hugged at the waiting SUV. He kissed her hand and said, “Thank you, Tayshia. God bless you, OK?” And then he was gone and Tayshia cried even harder.

But she was composed the next day, when former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay showed up for a pep talk, on top of the one Tayshia already had from JoJo Fletcher. Not that it wasn’t nice to see Rachel, but I’m a bit mystified as to why these former Bachelorettes keep popping up for what amounts to filler, especially in the middle of a pandemic.

Tayshia with Ben on a previous episode.

Anyway, Tayshia was all ready mentally to hand roses to her final two when Ben turned up, first at host Harrison’s door, claiming he simply had to tell Tayshia that he loved her.

Tayshia didn’t seem thrilled to see Ben. Nonetheless she let him in and listened as he blamed his complete lack of emotion at their breakup on how caught off guard he had been.

“The feelings that I’ve had for you, I just didn’t know what it was, but I’m in love with you,” Ben said. “Like the life we could have together, the thought of that, it keeps me awake at night and I’m not sure what to do right now.”

Say thanks for your time and head back out the door is what I would suggest, but that wasn’t happening. Tayshia was the one who left the room, looking very upset. “I mean, I just want to cry. I don’t know what to do,” she told an unseen producer.

Frankly, it seems like there’s a lot to do in tomorrow’s two-hour finale. Tayshia has to figure out what to do with Ben; there’s a rose ceremony; the final two have to meet her parents; she has to have a potentially upsetting conversation with her father. And then, maybe by the end of it all, she’ll be engaged.

It airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv.

Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? You can comment here (no spam please) or come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

No ‘I love you’ means no rose as the Bachelorette picks her final 3

The “Bachelorette” final four had to recreate their hometowns at La Quinta Resort in Palm Springs, including this New York City backdrop for Zac Clark. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

If your heart wasn’t melting watching the “hometowns” episode of “The Bachelorette” on Tuesday night it’s possible you don’t have one.

This was one of the sweetest, most emotional hometown episodes we’ve ever seen — without anyone going near an actual hometown.

There were no obnoxious siblings, no overbearing parents, no taxidermy collections, no fake autopsies: just four nice guys with nice families who seemed to really, really love them, which just made it all the more heartwrenching when Tayshia Adams had to send one man home.

The mood was set in the early minutes of the show when host Chris Harrison arrived to tell the finalists which of their family members had made the trip to La Quinta Resort in Palm Springs, Calif., and they got teary-eyed (except Ben, who apparently doesn’t cry) and all hugged each other.

Tayshia has talked about what a great group of guys she has and now that she’s got rid of dead weight like Bennett and Noah I couldn’t agree with her more.

Normally, Tayshia would have travelled to each of the men’s hometowns to meet their families. Thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, the families had to come to her, not just showing up, but quarantining and taking who knows how many COVID tests at the resort.

And the suitors had to create little slices of their hometowns at La Quinta, which to be honest felt kind of refreshing compared to the show and tells we usually get.

Brendan Morais, Tayshia and his niece Aliyah play some carnival games on their “hometown” date.

Brendan started things off with a recreation of a small-town carnival, the kind of thing he’d attend in his hometown of Milford, Mass. And if that idea wasn’t adorable enough he had his niece Aliyah join him and Tayshia to play games like ring toss, win stuffed animals, eat popsicles, dance, ride toy horses, cavort in a bouncy castle and show off their secret handshake.

So the date was already screaming “keeper!” Then Brendan upped the ante with an emotional reunion with his big brother Daniel, whom he told Harrison was “the closet thing I had to a father after my father passed.”

“I feel like I haven’t told you enough, or at least in a long time, how much you mean to me,” Brendan told his bro. I mean, is that heartwarming or what?

The good feelings just kept flowing, with Tayshia getting encouragement from Daniel and his wife Christi that Brendan was ready to get married. At the end of it all, Tayshia declared, “I really am falling in love with him. I truly feel like Brendan could be my husband.”

After that date, us too. But there were three more dates to go.

Tayshia and Zac ride a “cab” on their hometown date.

Zac Clark, whose hometown is listed as Haddonfield, N.J., took Tayshia to “New York,” where they walked around in a cardboard taxi (once Zac had taught Tayshia how to hail one), ate bagels and pizza, then took in a view of the “Hudson River.”

Tayshia later met Zac’s parents, Douglas and Beatrice, and his brother Matt.

“They saved my life,” Zac said. “They believed in me when I had a pretty gnarly drug addiction that could have taken me out at any time.”

Matt was a little skeptical, though. He asked Tayshia point blank how her feelings for Zac compared to the other three guys and she didn’t answer him — which Matt pointed out — although she did say she was falling in love with Zac.

But Douglas and Beatrice were on board.

“I haven’t seen him smile that much in a long time,” Douglas told Tayshia, “and that’s something that’s really making me happy.”

Zac’s smile also came up in an emotional chat with his mom. “I would not be alive if it wasn’t for your strength,” Zac told her. “So nothing means more than for you to see me happy tonight and see me smiling and see me at peace.”

So I think we’re all agreed: another keeper, right?

Ivan and Tayshia do some Filipino cooking on their hometown date.

Next up was Ivan Hall, who instead of taking Tayshia to a hometown, took her to a kitchen where they made Filipino “lumpia,” or spring rolls, coached via video by Ivan’s adorable niece Kehlani.

Ivan and Tayshia were cooking in more ways than one in that kitchen as they laughed and kissed and danced. Then Tayshia met Ivan’s father Clarence and his mother, whose name I don’t think we got.

Mom was skeptical given how fast everything was happening but told Ivan she’d welcome Tayshia with open arms if he chose to be with her. Clarence bonded with Tayshia over the fact they both had marriages that didn’t work out (Ivan’s mom is his second wife) and both married young; Clarence at 24, Tayshia at 25.

 “I’m really impressed with the young lady,” Clarence said. “She and Ivan could be a good match.”

There was one more family member for Tayshia to impress. Ivan’s brother Gabriel, the one he told Tayshia about who’d done time in jail, made a surprise appearance, which had Ivan in tears. Then Gabriel teared up talking to Tayshia about how loyal Ivan had been to him. Like I said, it was an emotional night.

By the time the date was done, Tayshia had passed muster with the fam and Ivan said he was falling in love with Tayshia.

Ben and Tayshia rollerbladed to the “boardwalk” at “Venice Beach” on their date.

Last but not least, Ben took Tayshia to “Venice Beach,” even though he was raised in Indiana. Things seemed to be going great. Tayshia said she was smitten with Ben and he said he’d never been happier. Ben’s parents weren’t able to make it to La Quinta because of the pandemic, but Ben’s sister Madeline, the one he told Tayshia saved his life, was there along with close family friend Antonia, and they both seemed delighted with Tayshia.

Tayshia, who earlier in the episode expressed unease about not knowing how Ben felt about her, asked for and received assurance from Madeline that Ben wasn’t “hiding” anything. It’s too bad Tayshia couldn’t have overheard Ben’s conversation with Antonia because Ben admitted to Antonia that he was in love with Tayshia.

He was all set to tell Tayshia, too, but he clammed up when they were alone together and she asked him how he felt.

When Ben walked into the rose ceremony it was with the idea that it might be too late to tell Tayshia he loved her. But we’ve seen instances where an inability to clearly express feelings was used as a red herring just to make viewers think that person wasn’t getting a rose, so it was hard to tell if Ben had really blown it.

Honestly? I had no idea who Tayshia would send home. She seemed to have strong feelings for all four and had also had deep conversations with all of them about real stuff, whether it was Brendan’s previous marriage, Zac’s former drug addiction, Ivan’s experiences with racism or Ben’s suicide attempts.

This season has certainly had its share of silliness, but it’s also had some of the most meaningful interactions I can recall. Maybe being quarantined during a pandemic was a reminder for at least some of the men of what was really important in their lives.

Unfortunately for Ben, he never got the chance to tell Tayshia how he felt. Would it have made a difference? We might never know. Tayshia did say that she couldn’t keep putting energy into pulling things out of Ben so perhaps a declaration would have been too little too late.

In any event, Ben put his walls right back up after Tayshia rejected him, brushing it off with “I’ll be all right. I’m always all right.”

“He couldn’t give me one ounce of emotion,” said an upset Tayshia after he left.

But Ben clearly wasn’t all right. “I’m still in love with her,” he said, looking stricken in the back of the SUV. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to fall out of love with her.”

For Ben’s sake I hope he figures it out and that he’s got that therapist who helped him after his suicide attempts on speed dial.

Tayshia is moving on, with fantasy suite dates and maybe a proposal next week.

(Update: it sounds like Ben is going to be back next week to ask Tayshia to give him another chance. I’m skeptical it will work, but it will be good for the drama.)

It airs Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv.

Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? You can comment here (no spam please) or come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

It’s boo! and bye-bye for one man on ‘The Bachelorette’

Zac and Tayshia demonstrate the mood on the latest “Bachelorette” episode, as in up and down.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Welcome to “The Bachelorette,” a.k.a. “The Haunting of La Quinta Resort.”

Not only was there a date that involved ghost-hunting, Tayshia professed to be haunted by memories of her first marriage; various men dredged up haunted bits of their pasts, like drug addiction, an eating disorder and horrible home lives; and then there was the Ghost of Squabbles Past as the Bennett and Noah feud kept rolling along.

By next week, one of them (maybe both?) will be but a spectre as far as Tayshia’s concerned since she promised to send one of them home before the end of the episode. In the meantime, let’s dig into our fourth week AC (after Clare).

First we had a bit of fluff with previous Bachelorette JoJo Fletcher (and yes, I agree, her face really did look different) showing up to supposedly offer Tayshia moral support, but really to fill in as dispenser of date cards for host Chris Harrison while he took his son to college.

Zac got the first one-on-one, which started with a cringey fake wedding photo shoot that had Tayshia remembering the first time she wore a wedding gown, i.e. her failed marriage. But that led to Zac confessing that he’d been married before, too, which was cool with Tayshia.

There was a lot more to Zac’s story, as Tayshia found out at dinner: a brain tumour at 23; a marriage that lasted only a year because of his drinking and drug-taking; a DUI arrest; stealing from his own father; two rehab stints, the second of which was the charm.

Woah! Talk about a change from the usual vapid getting-to-know-you talk.

It turned Zac into a contender, which is fine, but it’s getting kind of crowded in the “men Tayshia could end up with” corner, which also includes, by her own admission, Brendan, Ben, Ivan, possibly Riley.

Mind you, she did thin the herd during the second one-on-one date.

Tayshia and Eazy on a previous episode of “The Bachelorette.”

Tayshia and Eazy went ghost-hunting since La Quinta is supposedly occupied by the spirits of an oil baron who formerly owned the land, and his wife and baby, who both died after childbirth. The hunt involved walking into a couple of rooms that Tayshia said were freezing cold, hearing sounds and seeing things move (a chair in one case, a framed photo in another), then running away screaming. Ghosts? More likely producers with strings.

It was a fun date, in any event, or at least it was until dinner came around. Eazy said he was falling in love with Tayshia and it was clear from the startled look on her face this wasn’t going to end well.

Tayshia did the old “pick up the rose, then say you can’t have it” fake-out, although she did seem genuinely sorry to hurt Eazy’s feelings. “I’m not there where you are and I don’t know if I can get there,” she said.

Eazy was so stunned he asked, “Tayshia, this is real? You sure?” as she walked him to the waiting SUV.

The most substantial part of the episode came during the group date. It started out frivolously enough with Spencer, Ivan, Ed, Blake, Brendan, Riley, Demar, Bennett, Ben and Noah walking into a room where two naked people were posing and immediately fearing they’d have to take their clothes off . . . again.

But it was just a life-drawing session followed by blindfolded sculpting. “Fifty Shades of Clay,” quipped Bennett after he took advantage of the blindfolds to smooch Tayshia when no one else could see. Spencer sculpted a pepperoni pizza; Ben crafted an infinity symbol; Blake made a penis: way to rep Canada, dude!

Bennett made “homes” for himself and Tayshia in New York, the Hamptons and California, omitting the “mountain retreat” and the “chateau in Paris.” I believe that’s what one calls “flaunting your wealth” — although personally I’m surprised he didn’t build a scale model of Harvard.

But the silliness ended with the self-portrait part of the challenge, the goal of which was that whoever “opened up” the most would win extra time with Tayshia.

Blake talked about growing up in a “pretty failed household” and wanting a “true original family that I just never had”; Riley talked about his estrangement from his mother after his parents’ divorce; Ivan shared his fear that his father, who’d already had cancer twice and a heart attack, was going to die; Ben let his guard down by taking all his clothes off, which at first seemed like a gimmick, until later when he told Tayshia he had suffered from an eating disorder for 15 years.

Tayshia was so moved by the stories she went backstage to cry and then announced she couldn’t choose just one person to get extra time, which was the right thing to do.

Tayshia with Noah on a previous “Bachelorette” episode.

Ben got the date rose, deservedly so. But then things went from the sublime to the ridiculous with the sniping between Bennett and Noah.

I haven’t been Noah’s biggest fan, but holy hell, is Bennett ever condescending! “Young Noah” blah blah blah “I’m not on ‘The Babysitter,’ I’m on ‘The Bachelorette’ blah blah blah . . . completely ignoring the fact that the insults make Bennett seem more immature than he’s accusing Noah of being.

Tayshia called them both on the nonsense. They were summoned to an instant two-on-one to take place before the cocktail party before the rose ceremony.

Bennett claimed to wanted to make peace with Noah, so he brought him a present. It consisted of a bandana in homage to conversations they’d had about their fondnesses for ranching and cowboying (nice); a pair of moustache socks because “the only place you should wear a moustache is on your feet” (not so nice); and a book about emotional intelligence because Bennett said Noah was deficient in that (nasty).

Bennett reverted to telling Noah he had zero chance of ending up with Tayshia. Truthfully, both of them have zero chance of ending up with Tayshia; it’s just a question of who finds that out soonest.

It wasn’t looking so good for Bennett when the episode ended with a “To be continued.” He repeated his comment about Noah’s zero chance in front of Tayshia, which she said was “essentially questioning my integrity,” and then she asked, “What’s in the box?”

Next week, besides settling Noah vs. Bennett and presumably having a rose ceremony, there will be tears for Zac and Riley, and jitters for Brendan.

“The Bachelorette” airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? You can comment here (no spam please) or come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

The talk gets real, the orgasms are fake on ‘The Bachelorette’

Harvard grad Bennett “proposes” to Tayshia Adams on “The Bachelorette.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Fake orgasms that would do Meg Ryan proud; not one but two men sneaking around to visit Tayshia (and, um, Chris Harrison); a pillow fight and a game of Twister; and even a serious conversation about Black Lives Matter — there was a lot going on in Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette,” like. A. Lot.

At times it was almost as if other reality shows had insinuated themselves into the proceedings. The group date contestants drinking smoothies with disgusting lists of ingredients like chicken feet and cow intestines made me think a bit of “Survivor.” When Ben and Ed both set off to visit Tayshia in her suite, it was like watching two teams head for the Pit Stop at the end of an “Amazing Race” episode, not knowing which would get there first.

And when Ed got lost and ended up in host Chris Harrison’s suite instead it was the best thing ever.

Whether or not Tayshia Adams is further along in her quest to get hitched, we viewers are further along in our journey to fall in love with the show again after the season’s weird and frustrating start.

We ended the night with a classic bit of franchise drama when Noah claimed the other men were questioning Tayshia’s integrity, which got Tayshia so riled up she gave them a dressing down and cancelled the rest of the cocktail party, which then led to even more shade being thrown at Noah. Good times.

It all started off innocently enough. Eight of the 16 men who were left had to write and perform love songs for Tayshia. None of them could sing — or rap, for that matter.

Bennett worked his Harvard degree into his verses, of course; Blake played, and I use that word loosely, an accordion and a mandolin; Demar whipped up a little ditty he called “Mocha Latte”; but it was Ivan who took it home by inviting Tayshia up on the makeshift stage for his sentimental “rap.”

Ivan and Tayshia at last week’s “grown man challenge.” This week, he got to jump on her actual bed.

Ivan won the prize, a night in Tayshia’s suite, and it was the most pandemic-friendly date we’ve seen all season. Tayshia wore sweatpants; they ordered in room service; they played “the floor is lava” and Twister and went barefoot lawn bowling and had a pillow fight.

Things got serious when Ivan and Tayshia started talking about their families. He revealed, tears running down his cheeks, that his younger brother had spent four years in jail and gone through “some really dark times,” including getting beaten up by prison guards.

“Especially with George Floyd and that’s police brutality, and that’s something that really hit home for me,” Ivan said, referring to the Black man killed by a white police officer in Minneapolis in May, whose death kicked off worldwide Black Lives Matter protests.

Tayshia got so emotional thinking about the subject she couldn’t speak.

“I don’t know why it does so much but it’s like, it hurts a lot,” she said when she regained her voice.

They also talked about what it was like to grow up being mixed race, surrounded by people who didn’t look like them, and how inspirational it was to see so many people come together for the Black Lives Matter movement.

“We’re both biracial, have Black dads and have this beautiful love story developing. This is so big,” Ivan said.

It was no wonder that by the end of the date Tayshia described Ivan as really special. “He understands me more than anybody else can.”

It was a rare, refreshing dose of reality, as opposed to reality TV.

But then a new day dawned and a new group date, and it was back to silliness.

Becca Kufrin and Sydney Lotuaco help Tayshia out with her group date.

Six of the men played “Tayshia’s Truth or Dare” overseen by her friends, former “Bachelorette” Becca Kufrin and former “Bachelor” contestant Sydney Lotuaco.

The first part of it was all dares: chugging the aforementioned gross smoothies; interrupting Harrison at his lunch of crab legs and Veuve Clicquot to get him to sign their butt cheeks; eating habanero peppers and “proposing” to Tayshia, but the best — or worst, depending on your point of view — was faking orgasms over a loudspeaker so the rest of the resort could hear.

Think Meg Ryan from “When Harry Met Sally,” but louder and lewder. “I would direct him to the ER if I heard that,” quipped Becca after Kenny’s turn, which included the well known erotic phrase “Back up, back up.”

“Wow, he’s flexible, he’s bendy,” Becca said after Blake threw his leg up on a dais in the throes of fake passion.

Bennett, whom I’ve regarded as mainly comic relief up to this point, got carried away with the faux proposal. “Today was incredibly real in my mind and in my heart,” he said. “It’s the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever been a part of.”

Tayshia and Zac hang out on a previous date; hot tub not included.

Tayshia seemed to get closer to all six men, including Riley and Demar, on the evening or “truth” part of the date, but none more so than Zac, if by getting closer you mean making out in a hot tub. Zac got the date rose.

And then it was time for Ben and Ed’s Excellent Adventure.

You’ll recall that on last week‘s group date, the one that Noah crashed, Ben didn’t get to talk to Tayshia because he waited too long and ran out of time. Still brooding over that — and with Harrison’s advice that “Tayshia likes bold” to guide him — Ben went on a “secret mission” to Tayshia’s room.

And wouldn’t you know that Ed had the same bright idea, so we saw them both skulking through the resort on their way to Tayshia’s suite. It looked like Ed had beat Ben there; he knocked on the door, it opened . . . and there was Harrison in a sweatsuit saying, “It’s 2:30 in the morning. What are you doing?”

What Ed was doing was drinking red wine with Chris while Ben kissed and made up with Tayshia. Harrison eventually sent Ed on his way with directions. There was a knock on Tayshia’s door mid-smooch with Ben. Was it Ed? Nope, just a guy delivering champagne and strawberries. Ed never did find Tayshia’s suite, but he wasn’t too upset about it, describing his chat with Chris as “a great consolation.”

Noah with Tayshia when he still had what Bennett called “that terrible skidmark above his lip.”

By the time rose ceremony day rolled around, Ed was back to doing what he does best: complaining about other guys. This time it was Noah, whom Ed said was “a joke” and not there for the right reasons, blah, blah, blah. Bennett said Noah was too “juvenile” to end up with Tayshia.

That set the stage for Noah to whine to Tayshia about the heat he was getting from the other men over his fence-jumping, group date-crashing, moustache-shaving behaviour. “It’s been implied you gave me the rose just to shake things up,” Noah said, which was basically like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

To Tayshia, it went from the men taunting Noah because they think he’s a jerk — which seems pretty accurate — to the men questioning her integrity. She marched them all into a room and told them, “If you guys think that I’m just trying to start drama in the house for no reason, simply because I have a connection with some people, y’all need to grow up. If you’re gonna be questioning me, like, I’ll gladly walk you outside.” And that was the end of the cocktail party.

Noah fessed up that he was the reason for Tayshia’s bad mood and guess what? That just annoyed the other guys even more. “You ruined Tayshia’s night for your own glory,” Bennett said. More likely, he had some coaching from a helpful producer.

When rose time came, Ben, Eazy, Riley, Brendan, Bennett, Blake, Demar and Spencer all got roses along with Ed, leaving Kenny, Chasen, Jordan and Joe out in the cold.

Why did Tayshia give Ed a rose over nice, non-drama-causing Joe? No offence to her integrity, but I think I just answered my own question.

Next week, the animosity between Bennett and Noah ramps up, and Tayshia is not impressed.

“The Bachelorette” airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. Feel like chatting about “Bachelorette”? Come visit my Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter @realityeo

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