Brendan Morais isn’t the first man on “Bachelor in Paradise” to partner up with someone he’s not that into just to stick around until the person he really wants gets to the beach.
Where Brendan crossed the line from playa to stone cold villain in Monday’s episode was in his arrogant and disrespectful attitude to Natasha Parker, the woman he strung along for several weeks while he waited for Pieper James to show up.
Bad enough Brendan lied to Natasha’s face about the extent of his pre-show relationship with Pieper, but to tell a producer that Natasha had “zero prospects” on the beach outside of him? That is asshattery of a high degree.
Brendan repeated the insult in a face-to-face conversation with Natasha, telling her, “If you had any desire to talk to other guys or other guys had any desire to talk to you, it would have happened.”
Oh, and also that he and Natasha had never had a romantic relationship, and that he’d told her that but she had “selective hearing.”
Of course, in the footage that we saw just before Pieper made her entrance, Brendan told Natasha that he wasn’t a “manipulative person.” (Feel free to laugh here.) Also, “the times that we have spent together when we’re both feeling good . . . and being silly and doing our thing on the beach, and being goofy and all that stuff, that’s the reason I want to be with you.”
Which doesn’t exactly sound like someone being friend zoned.
Pieper hadn’t got the “pretend we’re not already together” memo so she read out her date card and invited Brendan without even a pretence of talking to any other men.
Just how connected were Brendan and Pieper before Paradise?
Pieper got a little pissed with Brendan when he mentioned at dinner that he’d told other people they hadn’t been exclusively dating. But he explained, “If you have a full girlfriend going into Paradise it’s just not a good look . . . Obviously I was navigating this in a way to allow myself to potentially, hopefully be here while you’re here.”
She thanked him for “playing the game.”
“It makes me sad thinking you felt I was downplaying the connection that we had . . . You know how i feel about you, you know what we’ve talked about,” Brendan added.
We all kind of know now.
Pieper helpfully explained in her voice-over that Brendan was her boyfriend and that their plan all along had been to continue their relationship in Paradise — presumably with visions of sponcon dancing in their heads.
By the next day, when Brendan and Pieper were mooning over each other all over the beach, everybody had figured that out. And the consensus seemed to be they should leave Paradise.
When they weren’t throwing shade at Natasha — Brendan: “I was just getting so annoyed by her. I’m surprised she’s still here” — they were giggling about their Instagram followers, the tabloid attention they expected to get and how Brendan had “incriminated” himself.
The really funny part was that the pair apparently lost thousands of Instagram followers while the show was airing.
All the Brendan-Pieper drama sucked attention from the other two triangles on the beach.
You’ll recall that last Tuesday‘s episode ended with Kendall arriving and making a beeline for her former fiancé Joe.
Her appearance turned out to be more of a production trick than a genuine attempt to reconcile. She told Joe she still wanted him in her life but also doubled down on her refusal to move to Chicago to be with him. And I’m assuming he doesn’t want to move to L.A. and that the long distance thing didn’t work out so, um, I guess there’s really nothing to talk about then?
Although Joe claimed to be confused, he seemed pretty decisive about continuing his relationship with Serena, telling her he was over Kendall but if anything changed he would be 100 per cent honest with her about it.
The other drama involved Demi, who kind of lost her shit when Kenny came back from his nude volleyball date with Tia and immediately walked off with Mari, who told Kenny she still had feelings for him and she’d pushed him away because she got scared over feeling so strongly about him.
Kenny didn’t leap back into Mari’s arms right away, but he turned down Demi’s invitation to go to the boom boom room, and it looked like he and Mari were snuggling the next day, so I guess Demi will have to find another man to steal.
“I think Mari sucks, I think she’s mean, I think she’s a brat, I think she’s entitled and I don’t like her,” Demi fumed.
Hello pot, may I introduce you to kettle?
The only other development worth noting is that Noah and Abigail got back together, confessing that they still cared about each other and vowing to communicate better.
At this point, I would hate to declare any couple a sure thing, but there’s no denying that Noah and Abigail seem better together than apart.
That’s it until Tuesday night’s dose of drama, which promises more hostility from the rest of the cast toward Brendan and Pieper; four new arrivals, including model Chelsea from Matt’s season; Becca making out with Thomas, and tears for Tammy and Jessenia.
You can watch at 8 p.m. on ABC or online later at Citytv.com. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo
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