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Tag: Greer

Bachelor recap: Greer’s over COVID, Zach’s over her

From left, Ariel, Kat, Charity, Kaity and Gabi with Zach Shallcross and host Jesse Palmer at the rose ceremony in Budapest, Hungary. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

This is what “The Bachelor” producers think of the women on this show. After Greer was released from her COVID quarantine, they made her fly to another country just so Zach could break up with her.

If Zoom was good enough for a rose ceremony, surely it was good enough to let Greer know she didn’t stand a chance in hell of getting a hometown date, which apparently everyone but Greer knew. Or she could have just disappeared like Logan did on Rachel and Gabby’s season.

But no, we needed to see the mascara streaking down her cheeks as she sat next to Zach in his Budapest hotel suite.

If there was a word or phrase of the week, it wasn’t “best friend,” which made a reappearance, or even “flabbergasted,” which Zach pulled out on his date with Kaity; it was “insecure,” which is how most of the women felt at some point during the episode.

Well, not Kaity. Everything seemed to be coming up roses for Kaity — pun intended — after she got the first Hungarian one-on-one, her second of the season.

Kaity Bigger looks at Zach Shallcross with adoration as he reads the love “poem” he typed.

She and Zach rode the Budapest Castle funicular — another new Bachelor word! — and wrote the world’s worst “poems” to each other on an old typewriter on the castle grounds, which had not at all been planted at a lookout point by “Bachelor” producers.

They learned important facts about each other, like her favourite colour is purple and his original family name was Shacklecross. And if old English names were derived from what people did for a living, I’m not sure I want to know what that one’s about.

By the time they had their non-dinner at Budapest’s oldest bathhouse, Zach was telling Kaity she made him feel “so special and safe and flabbergasted,” and Kaity was telling Zach he made her feel “that safety, that security, that stability” she’d been missing in her other relationships.

That emphasis on reliability made sense when Kaity explained that her father had left when she was young and the man who raised her also left when she was in Grade 8. And she started to cry and, for once, Zach didn’t start comparing her experience to something in his own life.

“Wow, I mean, that’s, I mean, not easy and I, I, I can’t fathom that, you know, it’s just,” he said.

So eloquently put. But he could have said goo goo, ga ga and Kaity would still have been beaming when he handed over the date rose, which guaranteed her a hometown date.

Next up was the group date. Ariel, Charity, Gabi and Kat were sent to the Kalman Imre Theatre, which was “dark and very scary” inside, according to Charity. She didn’t know the half of it.

Ariel, Charity, Kat and Gabi with Zach and mentalist Labib Malik on the group date.

Zach was hanging with a magician named Labib Malik, who claimed to be able to read minds.

At the very least, his tricks — including making a red heart appear to transfer from Zach’s hand to Gabi’s — enabled us to enjoy Gabi’s swear word substitutions, like “holy shiitake mushroom” and “what the front door.” Malik also asked the women to think of words and then wrote those words down on a chalk board, and he never missed.

What was less fun for the women was when Malik, warning them he’d know if they were lying to him, made comments and asked questions designed to make them feel like they were blowing it with Zach.

Shades of the psychoanalysis date on Clayton’s season.

So Gabi was told that people found her confusing; Ariel was told she was keeping people from knowing “the true you”; Charity was induced to say she had a hard time trusting herself after her previous horrible relationship; and Kat was outed for having considered quitting “The Bachelor.”

Kat, Gabi and Charity were all in tears at the after-party at various points. Ariel seemed to be the only one who wasn’t losing her shiitake mushrooms.

All we really knew at this point was that Zach had to give Ariel a hometown date so we could meet the father who told her, “Ariel, you can’t do the show. I know what they do there, orgies. You will walk into a room and they will force you to get naked.”

Oh goodie, can’t wait for Ariel to tell her folks about the visit to the nude sauna in Estonia, hopefully while Zach is sitting there.

Charity assured Zach that although she hadn’t forgiven herself for staying too long in her abusive relationship, “I have no doubt with you, none at all,” which seemed to work for Zach.

Gabi confessed her “super ADHD” to Zach and “all the weirdness that goes on in my brain,” but Zach assured her that her personality was “fun to be around.” And he reinforced that with wall smooching, which is like regular smooching, but you do it pressed up against a wall.

With Kat on the other hand, Zach was nervous that when the mentalist asked her if she wanted Zach to meet her family, she replied, “I think so.” A crying Kat dug the hole deeper by telling Zach there were days she felt like she “just couldn’t do it” and “when things get hard I want to leave and give up.”

She tried to turn it around by assuring Zach she saw a forever future with him, but the pained look on his face said forever was only going to last until the next rose ceremony.

Gabi got the rose — come on, wall kisses — which unleashed more tears from Kat.

Then it was time for Greer to get punked.

She walked to Zach’s hotel bubbling with excitement and optimism about seeing him again.

Zach and Greer Blitzer chat in his hotel suite for the first time since her COVID confinement.

After some small talk about the weather and COVID and such — and why do you have your hand on her knee if you’re about to break up with her? — Greer uttered the fateful words: “I guess I was just wondering, like, where you’re at.”

Bottom line: “To give a hometown rose I need to feel 100 per cent confident that I can see a future and I don’t feel that,” Zach said.

Well, duh. Greer never stood a chance, not without getting a one-on-one date. At this point they should just stop giving out first impression roses on “The Bachelor” because they’re nothing but stinkweeds.

Greer got the consolation prize of being told she was “an incredible woman” and a couple of hugs. Welcome to Budapest!

Speaking of one-on-ones, there are two types when it comes to second dates: the ones that shore up relations with a frontrunner, which is what Kaity got; and the ones where you take out someone on the bubble, which is what Brooklyn got.

It’s not a hot tub, but Zach and Brooklyn Willie share some water kisses.

All the bike riding, the hot air balloon riding, the smooching in the pool of yet another bathhouse as people clapped and yelled “Kiss! Kiss!” (also totally not rigged by “Bachelor” producers) was for naught.

At their non-dinner, Brooklyn got emotional talking about the family she expected him to meet, including her mom and the dirt bike-riding grandpa who raised her after her father skedaddled and who, let’s be honest, might have given Gabby’s Grandpa John a run for his money.

Zach excused himself from the table and was this one of those drama-inducing fakeouts?

It wasn’t. An emotional Zach told Brooklyn that her family “know the love that you do deserve,” but there was something blocking his connection with her and “I want you to know that you do deserve the love I can’t give you.”

They parted with tears on both sides while, back at the hotel, the other women cried and group-hugged when Brookyn’s suitcase was taken away.

Despite last week’s disagreement between Brooklyn and Kat, the women are obviously close, which explains I guess why we never got a two-on-one this season: not enough animosity in the house, fake or otherwise.

There was nothing left but the rose ceremony and don’t tell me you’re surprised that Kat got sent home, and Charity and Ariel got the last two roses.

“Why?” Kat asked Zach.

Despite their strong connection in the Bahamas — which if I’m being honest seemed mostly physical to me — “over the past couple of weeks it changed and I couldn’t see a confident future in us,” Zach said.

There was another teary handoff to the van of doom and, after Kat was driven off complaining “It’s not fair,” host Jesse Palmer came out to hug and comfort Zach. And maybe I’m a sucker, but I found that very touching.

Next week is a twofer, with hometowns (and a couple of very protective brothers, oh boy) on Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and “Women Tell All” Tuesday at 8 p.m. You can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor recap: Pip, pip, oh no, as Zach gets COVID in London

Jess, Brooklyn, Mercedes, Kat, Kaity, Aly, Kylee and Ariel, next to a royal guard, on a Zach-less group date. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

Forget Brexit, how about a vexit?

Two of the women who joined Bachelor Zach Shallcross in London, England, on this week’s episode got sent away during a virtual rose ceremony, the franchise’s first. There was to be no union, European or otherwise, for Mercedes and Kylee after Zach handed out his roses over a video screen.

Why virtual? Zach got COVID . . . or so we were told.

One does wonder why, if he tested positive just two days after he and Gabi were snogging — yes, snogging, not snugging, Kat — all over London she didn’t have to isolate as well.

Be that as it may, Gabi got the only in-person quality time with Zach all week, unless you count Kaity talking to him through the door of his hotel room.

And Gabi got the Cinderella date to boot, upgraded to queen for a day since they were in the U.K.

Zach and Gabi Elnicki sample scents made for famous folks at Floris.

It began with a visit to Floris, perfumer to the royal family and other mucky-mucks — apparently the scent created for Winston Churchill smelled “old man-y” according to Zach. Is that better or worse than smelling like “Sour Patch Kids” or “Christmas with a little bit of weed,” which is how Gabi described some of the scents they sampled as they created their own bespoke perfume, which they named, um, Zabi.

Zach and Gabi get a visit from some royally pedigreed corgis.

Next up, Grant Harrold, former butler to King Charles III, treated Zach and Gabi to a royal afternoon that included sipping the queen’s cocktail (Dubonnet and gin, Google tells me), trying on tiaras and hats, cavorting with corgis apparently descended from the royal bloodline, enjoying high tea and playing dress-up with what I presume were designer gowns.

This allowed Gabi to reveal that she had struggled with body image issues, but Zach’s reactions to the dresses she tried on were making her feel “the most special I’ve ever felt in my life.”

She chose a frothy, blue confection to wear to dinner, which Zach declared “insane.”

Gabi picks a dress to wear to dinner on her one-on-one.

The real fun came when Gabi returned to the women’s hotel suite, laden with bags of swag, including Jimmy Choo sandals.

You didn’t need Edward from Floris to tell you the scent in the room was envy with a top note of tears.

That was especially true for first impression rose winner Greer, who felt that the fact she loves tea entitled her to a one-on-one in London.

She cried enough tears to fill a teapot and I’m talking about a big-ass Brown Betty.

Now, I know Greer isn’t a fan favourite because of tweets she wrote in 2016 defending blackface, but I confess to being a bit puzzled at the seeming trend to consign first impression rose winners on “The Bachelor” to group date hell.

Nice touch by the producers, though, setting up Greer’s meltdown in front of the door to Gabi’s room. Gabi had to get Greer and Charity, who was comforting Greer, to move as she swished past with her bags of loot. Way to rub “dirt in the wound,” to use Greer’s words.

Gabi’s dream date wasn’t over since she still had dinner with Zach ahead of her. I’m not sure what venerable old building they were in, just that it had lots of wood, mullioned windows and candlelight, but Zach assured Gabi he knew things wouldn’t always be this “extravagant.”

Zach and Gabi enjoy a swanky pretend dinner.

“Who’s the person you want to wake up every morning and do life with?” Zach said.

“I had the experience last season where I thought I knew someone and then learned I didn’t. That was devastating to me. I want that long-lasting love.”

Oooh, another dig at Rachel Recchia!

“I think it’s the little things that make somebody feel so loved,” replied Gabi.

Like, say, Zach making her feel beautiful just by looking at her.

Zach told Gabi she was so beautiful it was insane, which appears to be the word of the week. And he was sorry she hadn’t always felt that way. And she was beautiful inside and out …

And just hurry up already, give her the rose and then you can go dance and kiss to UB40 — yes “Red Red Wine” UB40 — performing “(I Can’t Help) Falling in Love With You.”

So the next day was the group date with Brooklyn, Kat, Aly, Kaity, Ariel, Kylee, Jess, Mercedes and Greer, which is when the wheels came off the double decker bus.

Instead of Zach, host Jesse Palmer showed up with a card, clearly not in Zach’s handwriting, saying he was “a little under the weather” but to enjoy the date and he’d see them soon.

Enjoy? Ha!

Kylee grumbled, “You weren’t too sick to stay up all night with Gabi. You’re not gonna be too sick to go on a one-on-one with Charity tomorrow.”

From left clockwise, Aly, Brooklyn, Greer, Kat, Ariel, Mercedes, Kaity, Kylee and Jess pose on the bus.

“Today sucks,” complained Kaity after they had piled onto a double decker bus for a tour of the city. Ariel said the bagpiper playing “Amazing Grace” in the cold “sounded like a funeral.” And it rained, although one wonders why they didn’t just move inside the bus, you know, to the other level, as in double decker?

Guzzling pints in the Grapes pub did wonders for their moods, though. (Fun fact, it’s one of the oldest pubs in London, according to its website. Charles Dickens used to hang there and actor Ian McKellen is one of the leaseholders.)

Mercedes follows the well-worn path of other annoying tourists in London.

They were feeling perky enough to squish into an old red phone booth — “Who farted?” — eat fish and chips (Mercedes smelling hers first was kind of priceless), and tease a fellow dressed as a royal guard with annoying questions and twerking. Was he really a royal guard? Unclear. He did appear to be standing in front of the Indonesian embassy, but would a royal guard be caught on camera contemptuously raising his eyebrow as the women walked away?

Anyway, the ladies had their game faces and fanciest duds on as they awaited Zach at the after-party only to have a gentleman in a bow tie and dinner jacket deliver a “message from Zachary.”

Yup, still sick, not coming.

If the women were concerned for Zach’s health at this stage, we didn’t see it.

Kat and Kaity cried. Kylee wondered “what is even the point?” Brooklyn said that “selfishly I feel stood up.” Greer doubled down and said she’d been stood up twice.

They consoled themselves by all taking a petal from the discarded date rose.

It was pretty obvious by this point that Charity wasn’t going to get her one-on-one the next day, which she described as “like a toy dangling in my face” that she really wanted. “I don’t know why this happened,” she said.

Well, because Zach got diagnosed with COVID-19, according to Jesse.

It was Zach’s worst nightmare, Jesse said, apparently not because he had a disease that can sometimes be lethal, but because he was losing “quality time” with the women. Priorities, am I right?

Greer managed to muster up, “I just hope he’s OK.”

Kaity, who’s a nurse, was ostensibly so concerned about Zach being all alone in his room with his mind racing — and maybe, I don’t know, feeling sick? — that she took a gift basket to Zach’s room, which was obviously all about making Zach feel better and not about solidifying her position as a front-runner.

Nurse Kaity brings Zach a gift basket because souvenirs are what COVID patients really want.

After a cursory “how are you doing?” she launched into monologue about how not knowing when she’d see Zach again “has taken a toll on me because I’m here for you,” and “I’m just scared that momentum is gonna fall flat” and “I see a future with you.”

Hell of a door-side manner, that Kaity.

Zach assured her he was excited she was there and he saw “something with you,” which sounds a little vague to me, but Kaity was happy enough to leave him the hell alone.

The answer to Jesse’s earlier question — “How do we move forward?” — was the answer many of us came up with during the pandemic: do it on video.

So Zach held a video cocktail party, speaking to the women individually from the screen of a tablet.

I won’t bore you with the inanities of the various chats, except to say that Charity was gifted with a replica of Big Ben that some production lackey obviously bought and hid behind a pillow in the room where Zach held virtual court.

Greer talks up her chances with Charity and Brooklyn before her disaster of a chat.

Greer’s turn came and wow, awkward. First she sat too far away from the tablet; then she said she was glad she couldn’t see herself onscreen because she’d probably just look at herself instead of Zach. And when she tried to commiserate by comparing Zach missing dates because of COVID to her missing her sales goal because of COVID, Zach seemed to take offence.

Finding his future wife “means a lot more to me than the end of a sales quarter,” he chided Greer.

If I were Greer I would figure I was going home too, but when Zach virtually handed out his roses — looking solemn on a large screen as the women picked them up from a basket on a table — Greer got the last one. Go figure.

Kaity, Charity, Aly, Kat, Brooklyn, Jess and Ariel also got roses, so nine women are moving on to wherever they end up next week.

The end-of-episode promo previewed the rest of the season rather than the next episode and it looks like there might be some non-fantasy suite hanky panky in Zach’s future, although these things can be deceiving.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

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