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Tag: Greg

Hunter smash, Blake smooch, Greg cry on ‘The Bachelorette’

July 6, 2021 /
Josh, James, Hunter, Brendan, Michael and Quartney take the field for a Bash Ball Battle
on “The Bachelorette.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Monday’s episode was a perfect representation of the dual personality of the “Bachelor/Bachelorette” franchise, a show that claims to be all about love but so often revels in the baser aspects of human nature.

On the one hand, we had men on the group date playing in a ridiculous made-up sporting event designed to stoke their aggression to the point of physical injury. On the other, we had the antithesis of toxic masculinity when, at the after-party, Michael told the other men about his late wife and his story moved Greg to tears.

That the two frontrunners shared such a lovely human moment made the ongoing aggressiveness of Hunter — who seemed to transfer his win-at-all-costs attitude from the bash ball field to the pursuit of Katie Thurston — all the more annoying. But I’m also aware that I’m supposed to feel this way, thanks to the master manipulators behind the producing curtain.

After all, “The Bachelorette” abhors a vacuum and somebody had to take the place of villain Thomas, sent packing last week, and of Karl before him. Hunter, come on down.

Hunter’s elevation to new public enemy No. 1 by the “Bachelorette” house un-fraternal activities committee was good news for one Canadian: it distracted the guys from hating on Blake Moynes, who made his official debut as a contestant and promptly got the week’s first one-on-one date.

And he made such a good impression on the date that he went from guy who came in late just to piss everyone else off to serious contender. It’s not like there isn’t a precedent for that. I’m sure you’ll recall that Nick Viall went from hated latecomer to runner-up on Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season.

Katie lays one on Blake Moynes as Laine Hardy provides background noise.

Of course it’s possible that Katie just wants to practise some sex positivity on Blake since they were practically rolling in literal hay while doing some horizontal smooching on the day part of the date, indicating some hot and heavy chemistry. But she did say at the end of the night — after yet another country singer got his however many minutes of fame while being completely ignored by the Bachelorette and her paramour — that she could picture herself “walking away with Blake at the end of this.”

The obligatory deep thoughts part of the date had Blake asking Katie why she was so open about being sex positive — a question that I’m sure he thought of all by himself and not because some producer wrote it on a cue card for him.

Katie told him about being date-raped 10 years ago, although she didn’t use that term, and how she developed an unhealthy relationship with sex; one she only began to turn around with the onset of the #MeToo movement.

Blake made the right expressions of sympathy and understanding. There was more conversation, but we didn’t get to hear it. Had to fit in the rose hand-over and the slow dancing and smooching.

On to the group date.

Katie, being a good sport, pretended that 12 dudes were going to play a game called “bash ball” in tribute to her volleyball-playing days and not because the producers wanted them to actually bash each other. More bizarrely, the training and game were overseen by two “athletic legends,” “Bachelorette”/”Bachelor in Paradise” alum Wells Adams and resident franchise photographer Franco Lacosta.

I don’t feel so bad now about not being able to identify the sport in last week’s promo since it was a combination of rugby and basketball — played in wrestling singlets?

Here’s Hunter during bash ball, not hitting anyone, though Quartney and Connor are down.

The segment was edited to make it look like it was all Hunter’s fault that the guys were thumping the crap out of each other, but it was Justin who hit Michael from behind, knocking the wind out of him, leading to the medics being called and prompting Katie to end the game. Mind you, Justin did feel “terrible” about it and apologized.

Hunter, on the other hand, said on camera, “Personally I love the aggression level, I’m not gonna lie. I was laying hits left and right, but I’m here for it. Yeah. I love that.”

During the after-party, Hunter was more focused on laying cards on the table, or more precisely photos of his children. He told Katie he’d never introduced his son and daughter to a woman but wanted her to be the first.

“That is like the sweetest picture I’ve ever seen,” Katie cooed about a photo of Hunter lifting his daughter into the air, and then she kissed him.

Cute as the photo might have been, it’s hard to believe there wasn’t some producer intervention involved in Hunter beating Michael and Greg to the date rose, particularly since there were already rumblings from Aaron and others about disliking him.

Poor Michael, besides being physically injured, had just endured marking his late wife’s birthday without his family for support, although he assured Katie he was comforted by the fact he and Katie had something special. Seems more rose-worthy to me.

And when Michael told the other men his story, Greg hugged Michael with tears streaming down his cheeks. “I had no idea and he walks around with a smile every single day,” Greg said later, still in tears. “And knowing how I’ve just worried about the smallest things, he just puts life into perspective.”

Michael’s exhortation not to waste the finite time available encouraged Greg to tell Katie he was “completely crazy” about her. “As hard as it is, you are so worth it. I just know in my heart that you are.”

But sure, give Hunter the date rose.

“I don’t know what she sees in him,” said a disappointed Greg. Honestly, that makes two of us.

Yes, I wish I had a photo of Katie and Andrew on their date too,
but you’ll have to make do with a picture from last week.

Next up, Andrew S, the faux Duke of Hastings, got a one-on-one date but left his fake British accent behind. For one thing, he was rattled by the fact Katie was leading him into the woods in the dark. When Katie put a plug into a socket I thought there was going to be a mini carnival like in Matt James’ season but no, the “Bachelorette” budget was only good enough from some icicle lights and pink envelopes containing silly suggestions like “Show me your signature dance moves” and “Imitate the sound of an animal in the wild.”

Amid the silliness there was time for smooching, which checked the chemistry box, and Katie and Andrew delved further into their shared backgrounds as children of divorce and, in Andrew’s case, an absentee father who did some jail time.

So they were agreed they wanted the opposite of a broken family, a “forever kind of love,” but there was a potential deal-breaker for Andrew as a Black man dating a white woman: would Katie feel the same way as his ex, who worried about having strangers ask questions about her biracial children?

“I think our love could be so beautiful and our children would be just as beautiful as that love,” Katie said. “All I want is to have a beautiful family regardless of how they look.”

That answer made Andrew happy. The next stop was the hot tub and a rose and “seeing” themselves falling in love with each other as opposed to actually doing it.

And then something really unexpected happened: the episode ended with a rose ceremony rather than a “To be continued” bumping it to the following week. Not that there wasn’t some drama.

Hunter once again wore the blame. With his rose on his lapel, he had visions of hometowns dancing in his head, not to mention the one-on-one he had yet to receive. He spirited Katie away for some stargazing, champagne and strawberries, and you know what happens when men with roses take time with the Bachelorette before the rose ceremony: the men without roses get pissed.

James interrupted Hunter’s monologue so he could tell Katie he had feelings for her (like, duh?) and she rewarded his boldness with a kiss. Then James, Aaron and Tre teamed up to berate Hunter for being greedy.

Hunter’s response? “Guess what? I’m focused on Katie, I don’t give a shit what they think.” Thanks Captain Obvious.

Katie gave roses to Greg, Aaron, Michael, Connor, James, Justin, Mike , Brendan and Tre, cutting Andrew M, Josh and Quartney loose. The other guys showed their appreciation for Quartney by applauding him as he left.

It seems a safe bet there will be more Hunter drama next week, although the end-of-episode promo was of the “coming this season” variety with clips of various people crying and being confused and Katie threatening to go home, so yes, “the drama continues.”

You can tune in Mondays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo


One man’s ‘Bachelor audition’ gets cut short on Bachelorette

June 29, 2021 /
Katie Thurston lays some truth on Thomas Jacobs at the rose ceremony.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Remember this night, Bachelorette fans.

There will undoubtedly be frustrating moments in the weeks ahead. Next week alone, everybody will get mad at Blake Moynes and it seems like Hunter is going to try to kill somebody. But we will always be able to look back on the night that Katie Thurston told Thomas to take his fake ass home and it will be like balm to our troubled souls.

“Your Bachelor audition ends tonight, so get out.”

I want those words on a T-shirt.

The Bachelorette producers, cruel puppet masters that they are, had just pulled off a great fakeout.

We’d spent huge chunks of the episode listening to people talk about Thomas not being there for the right reasons. Even at the cocktail party, even though it was after freakin’ midnight, people wouldn’t stop talking about Thomas. I’m with Katie: it was exhausting.

But it seemed like she had finally decided Thomas wasn’t worth keeping around, or so she told co-hosts Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe. There was one rose left. Katie picked it up, sighed . . . and called Thomas’s name. And the show cut to a commercial with everyone at home feeling like Justin’s face looked.

Justin Glaze’s face, not exactly as shown the moment Thomas’s name was called but close enough.

Yeah, I was pissed. I thought Katie had caved to production demands just to buy another week of the “everybody in the house hates Thomas” drama.

But when Thomas walked up to Katie to get his rose, she took a step backward. “You told me things I wanted to hear, but what I learned about you tonight is you’re selfish,  unkind and a liar,” she said before circumventing his “Bachelor audition.”

So Katie is back in my Bachelorette Hall of Fame.

Going into Monday’s episode I was on the fence about whether Thomas was as manipulative as the other guys said. Sure, he admitted that when he came on the show he was interested in becoming the next Bachelor, but I find it hard to believe that thought didn’t cross other men’s minds.

What convinced me he was faking his feelings for Katie was when he interrupted her just as she was about to start handing out roses to apologize to her for “any moment I wasn’t here for the right reasons” and to the other men “for any moments of disrespect.” It reeked of desperation and self-interest. If the guy really believed he and Katie had a solid relationship he would have kept his mouth shut and let the chips fall.

So yes, Katie seems to have a knack for quickly jettisoning the jerks, like she did with Karl. Now what?

Well, Blake Moynes is what. As promised last week, he’s back. (Didn’t you love all the nonsense about keeping his identity hidden until the moment Katie walked up to him? Um, hello, he was in the promo last week?)

Sorry folks, ABC didn’t have current photos of Blake available so here he is with Clare Crawley.

Given my soft spot for Canadian contestants, I’d like to give Blake the benefit of the doubt and think he’s not just a reality TV fame whore or someone who has a Bachelorette fetish, but it’s hard — especially considering the bullshit explanation for why he didn’t join at the very beginning of the season.

Tayshia, whose season Blake was on as well as Clare Crawley’s truncated season, visited Katie to tell her an unnamed “someone” from her past wanted to meet Katie because he thought they would be “an amazing match.” He didn’t show up at the start of the season because he wasn’t sure he wanted “to throw himself back into the wild, crazy roller-coaster this is.”

Sure. Because showing up four weeks into the season and aggravating the men who’ve been there since the start, that’s so much easier.

Even though Katie thought Blake was handsome and they had exchanged DMs after her “Bachelor” appearance, she rightfully expressed some skepticism: “It is concerning that you dated, at this point, two Bachelorettes. If you stay I will now be your third Bachelorette.”

But with a rose going begging after Thomas’s ouster — no, she didn’t give it to Christian, Conor C or David — Katie decided her gut (maybe with the help of a producer?) was telling her to explore things with Blake, so she woke him up in the middle of the night, half-naked in his room, to tell him he could stay. And he locked himself out in the hallway in his boxer shorts and hoodie.

What else happened?

Things got hot on the group date, as in habanero pepper hot. Sure Tayshia, Kaitlyn and Katie
laughed at Greg, then they tried the hot peppers themselves.

There was a group date on which for a whole 19 minutes or so nobody talked about Thomas. Instead they did ostensibly fun “dares” like eat platters full of Twinkies and chocolate cake and mashed potatoes; eat habanero peppers and “propose”; get their butts waxed (that was Tre); and “whisper sweet nothings” into a giant ear, not realizing that Katie and Tayshia and Kaitlyn were listening in.

On that front, Andrew S took his Duke of Hastings impression to a whole other level with his sexy talk. Front-runner Greg, on the other hand, talked about, er, the 50 states? “Everything’s bigger in Texas,” he said — which might have made sense if he wasn’t from New Jersey.

Greg had better luck later at the after-party when Katie told him she was starting to fall for him, although Andrew S upped the competition by serving Katie a plate full of Taco Bell and Lunchables.

But Tre scooped the rose away from both of them by sharing his suspicions with Katie that Thomas was being manipulative, a move that Andrew S vehemently disagreed with because he said it would cause needless drama. But then Josh and Conor and Christian and Andrew M all piled on, telling Katie they agreed with Tre.

It was inevitable that Thomas would make a play to save his ass, which he did by showing up at Katie’s suite before the rose ceremony. He complained that his integrity and character had been “demonsterized,” whatever the hell that means, and the only thing getting him through the unpleasantness was “an opportunity to be with you.”

Katie said he was “perfect” and “Prince Charming,” which kind of made me gag a little, although it turned out all right in the end.

You want to know who the real Prince Charming is? Michael.

Katie said Michael helped her figure out “what I want, what I deserve.”

When everybody else was getting their tighty whities in a knot at the cocktail party over whether Thomas would stay or go, he avoided the topic so as not to add to Katie’s stress, instead telling her how much he liked and missed her and that he was starting to imagine a life with her outside “The Bachelorette.”

“The person you are is exactly the person I have been seeking,” he told her and, you know, when he says stuff like that I believe him.

Katie moves into Week 5 with 14 guys left, including Blake. And yes, some of the other 13 will be hostile toward Blake, which is to be expected. And Hunter will apparently get aggressive in some kind of ball game (sorry folks, I’m not sporty) and somebody will get hurt, but whether those two things have anything to do with each other remains to be seen.

You can tune in Mondays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Mud gets slung, and wrestled in, on The Bachelorette

June 15, 2021 /
Co-hosts Tayshia Adams, Kaitlyn Bristowe and Bachelorette Katie Thurston oversee yet another potentially violent group date on “The Bachelorette.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Hey y’all, someone’s not here for the right reasons on Katie Thurston’s season of “The Bachelorette.” It might just be the producers.

Monday’s episode was a smorgasbord of the kind of drama that has little to do with Katie actually falling in love with and marrying someone, and everything to do with keeping ratings and social media mentions up.

There was a group date that seemed designed to make the virgin among the contestants as uncomfortable as possible; another group date that paired two men with a beef in a physical confrontation; and the grand finale was a contestant sowing so much doubt in Katie’s mind about whether the other men were there for the right reasons she was left shaking and crying.

Sure, she managed to deepen some connections in between the drama, but the cocktail party turned into a shit show and the rose ceremony was delayed until next episode.

Karl, centre, on the first, sex-themed group date with Justin, left, and Quartney.

At the centre of the brouhaha was Karl Smith, a motivational speaker from Florida. The word on the net is that Karl might be in this thing to gain social media followers and that could be true, but casting doesn’t happen in a vacuum. If Karl is indeed the type of jackass who’d prey on a woman’s insecurities just to get reality TV famous, you think producers didn’t know that going in?

I’ll be honest: I was ready to give Karl the benefit of the doubt after the first bit of tension between him and other men early in the episode, especially given the franchise’s shoddy record with its Black contestants, but by the end, yeah, he just seemed like a jerk.

Next week, we’re promised, the drama continues, with more antagonism between Karl and everyone else in the house, and bad blood between Aaron and Thomas. In the meantime, here’s what was up on Monday.

‘The Greatest Lover of All Time’

Much has been made of the fact that Katie is “sex positive,” so it was inevitable there would be a group date that involved the men talking about sex. It was also inevitable that Mike, the San Diego gym owner who’s saving it for marriage, would be on that date.

Guided by actor, comedian and podcaster Heather McDonald, Christian, Garrett, Tre, Quartney, James, Justin, Thomas, Connor B., Karl and Mike had to answer sex questions — stuff like their favourite sex positions (Mike’s answer was a question mark), a woman’s largest sex organ (nope, not the vagina, the brain) and what piece of clothing increases her chances of having an orgasm (really? socks?).

Tre demonstrated what he’d like to do with Katie using puppets. The safe word was “peaches.”

And then they had to do presentations on what made each of them the greatest lover. It was more about innuendo than raunch, unless you consider hand puppets making out triple X-rated.

When it was Mike’s turn, he read Katie a composition that climaxed with the line “I would wait another 31 years to have sex if it was what proved to you that I would sacrifice everything for you to feel loved and secure.”

Um, yay? Katie bought it, even wiping tears from her eyes, and it won Mike the trophy. But it was Thomas with whom she exchanged steamy smooches at the after-party and who got the date rose. Mike and Connor, who got a redo on his Night 1 kiss, sans cat costume this time, were given honourable mentions.

‘We did make out while he was sitting on a toilet’

First impression rose winner and fan favourite Greg Grippo also got the first one-on-one date, which involved pitching a tent (a real tent, get your mind out of the sex date), turning a bucket into a makeshift toilet, on which Greg sat while he and Katie kissed, and fishing in a river.

Greg and Katie, after they traded a seat on a “toilet” bucket for a log.

The rustic activities — they wore his and hers plaid shirts over hoodies, for gawd’s sake — stirred up lots of emotions in Katie because they reminded her of stuff she used to do with her dad, who died in 2012.

She picked Greg for the meaningful date because “I wanted someone here who I see this going far with,” she said, cementing Greg’s frontrunner status. But a couple of things bothered me. When Katie was struggling to hold back tears as she talked about her father, why didn’t Greg reach out and comfort her? And why did he wait until later at dinner to tell her he’d lost his own father two years before and also had fond memories of them fishing together? Is there some emotional blockage going on or am I reading too much into it?

Once Greg did open up, he couldn’t hold back tears of his own, for which he kept apologizing. But he and Katie ended the evening with fireworks, smooches and mutual admiration.

Katie’s Big Buckle Brawl

This group date started with co-hosts Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe sneaking into the men’s quarters while they were sleeping, waking them up by banging a pot and a cheese grater (?) with spoons and forcing the participants outside in whatever they had on. It appeared no one was sleeping commando.

And then John, Andrew S, Kyle, Josh, Aaron, Brendan, Hunter and Cody had to put on cowboy outfits and then take their shirts off again to mud wrestle each other, so why not just stay in their underwear?

Aaron is declared the winner in his mud-wrestling match with Cody.

The main event was Aaron vs. Cody. We already learned on Night 1 that Aaron had some kind of beef with Cody, whom he knew from San Diego, and obviously the producers knew that too or they would never have been put on the date together.

Their wrestling match was strenuous enough that Katie noticed the tension between them and, after Aaron won the Big Buckle and got to hang out with her alone, she asked him what was up.

It was something about unspecified social media posts, Cody wanting “to become famous” and handling unspecified situations in a “malicious” way, according to Aaron. When Katie confronted Cody and he denied everything Aaron had said, she decided Cody was the one telling fibs and sent him home.

While Katie was off on her own brooding over Cody’s untrustworthiness at the after-party, Andrew made his move and brought her a glass of champagne. And then they bonded over the fact they both grew up poor, sealing their connection with kisses and the date rose. Better luck next time Aaron and Hunter, despite your handwritten letter.

‘I don’t know how tonight could be ruined’

The minute Katie uttered those words you just knew the cocktail party before the rose ceremony was going to hell in a hand basket.

First Karl mused to the other gents seemingly out of the blue that maybe Cody wasn’t the only dude who wasn’t there for the right reasons. Then he told Katie “there are some people who don’t have the best intentions,” but he wouldn’t give her names or examples, and had the nerve to tell her not to “stress about that.” As fucking if.

Of course she stressed. She stressed enough to give the men a teary speech telling them “if you are not here for me, if you are not here for an engagement, then get the fuck out.”

“I don’t know who is here for the wrong reasons, but from what I’ve been told there are multiple people I should be looking out for,” she added.

She even pulled Aaron aside, thinking that after he threw Cody under the bus he could out the other rats, but he was flummoxed. In the meantime, Karl confessed to the other men that he was the one who had sent Katie into a tailspin. “I heard some stuff circulating around,” he said vaguely. “I don’t know specifics 100 per cent.”

Perhaps that’s because there are no “specifics”? As far as I can tell he flat out lied when he claimed he only brought it up because Kate asked him about it first.

Things ended with the rest of the men rightfully pissed off and Katie in a room by herself crying. And we’ll have to wait till next week to see how it’s resolved and who’s getting roses.

You can tune in Mondays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Meet the new Bachelorette, same as the old Bachelorette

June 8, 2021 /
Katie Thurston and some of the dudes who endured quarantine to hang out
with her on “The Bachelorette,” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

So here we are again. After a disastrous season of “The Bachelor” that left a bad taste in plenty of mouths, sparked accusations of racism within the franchise and led to the departure of host Chris Harrison, a new season of “The Bachelorette” began Monday and it seems . . . exactly the same as every other season that came before it.

The star in what will be the first of two “Bachelorette” seasons to air this year is Katie Thurston, a 30-year-old marketing manager who became a fan favourite among Matt James’ group of contestants after she sparred with the bully-in-chief and tattled on a couple of the mean girls, but then got friend-zoned by Matt.

On her debut as the one handing out the roses, we had the same unwieldy group of some 30 men, same script about journeys, finding love and so on, same promises of conflict tinged with potential violence, same dumb shit-stirring production manipulations: I mean, hello, Blake Moynes from Clare’s and Tayshia’s combined season is coming back as a late contestant?

Roughly a third of the 23 fellows left standing Monday night were men of colour, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything if they’re only there to give the franchise a sheen of diversity, as we’ve seen in past seasons.

Co-hosts Tayshia Adams, left, and Kaitlyn Bristowe greet Katie before the limos started pulling up.

The only real change was Harrison’s absence and I can’t say it was to the show’s detriment. The presence of past Bachelorettes Kaitlyn Bristowe and Tayshia Adams as co-hosts injected some positive go-girl energy into the proceedings. I mean, can you imagine Harrison munching on popcorn as he watched the limos pull up and shouting encouragement to Katie from a window as she met the men?

So yes, the men. There were 29 of them to start by my count, well, 28 and one half man, half cat.

Katie bonds with Connor B, a math teacher who showed up dressed as a cat.

Connor B, a math teacher and musician from Nashville, separated himself from the pack by showing up dressed as Katie’s favourite animal, although she left her beloved cat Tommy at home during filming. Connor was one of several men who got first-night smooches from Katie, although personally I thought Connor’s kisses looked a bit like my cat attacking a bowl of canned food. Still, he seems nice enough.

Businessman Michael from Ohio also tried to bond over beasts with Katie, in his case a dog named Tommy, although his real love is his 4-year-old son.

There were a few other sweethearts in the bunch, at least based on first impressions.

Thomas, a real estate broker from San Diego County, said he “felt like a third grader trying to talk to a cute girl for the first time” and made Katie blush with his compliments, although he also seems to feature in some of the drama to come.

Tre, a software engineer from Georgia, showed up in a pickup truck with a ball pit in the bed (because Katie’s “a pretty baller Bachelorette”) and they had fun later sitting in the balls sipping drinks.

Katie had chemistry with Justin, an investment sales consultant from Baltimore who painted her a picture of roses and leaned in for the first kiss.

And I got just a touch of Duke of Hastings from “Bridgerton” vibes when Andrew S, a charming pro football player from Chicago by way of Vienna, spoke with a fake British accent.

I also have to put in a word for the Canadian in the bunch, firefighter trainee Brendan from my hometown of Toronto. Just ask Astrid Loch, who’s expecting a baby with fiancé Kevin Wendt, what she thinks of firefighters from Toronto.

Katie pins the first impression rose on early fan favourite Greg.

But my hands down favourite — me and the rest of Bachelor nation — was Greg, the marketing sales rep from New Jersey who won over Katie with his nervous sincerity and a necklace made of pasta by his 3-year-old niece. I mean, come on, the end-of-episode promo showed he and Katie kissing in the rain. I have no idea if Greg makes it to the end (no spoilers please!), but him getting the first impression rose was a given.

Who’s not so great?

There was some weird unexplained beef between Aaron, an insurance agent from San Diego, and Cody, a “zipper sales manager” also from San Diego. Seemingly out of the blue, Aaron told Cody, “I don’t like you, bro. Like, I’ve never liked you.” I can only assume they have some history back home.

Otherwise, no villains emerged on Night 1. There wasn’t even any double dipping on Katie’s time and the snarkery was mild at best, a few digs at Connor’s cat costume and at James, the software salesman from La Jolla, Calif., who spent most of the night in a giant wrapped box so he could be “present” for Katie.

Personally, I was waiting for someone to show up with a vibrator, hearkening back to Katie’s entrance on Matt James’ “Bachelor” season. Cody brought a blow-up doll named Sandy and Miami motivational speaker Karl depicted Katie as a vibrator-wielding princess in the poster he drew for her, but that was it for sex toys.

There were also a couple of random pairs of gitch. Florida technical recruiter Kyle pulled some tighty whities out of his pants and surgical skin salesman Jeff, who drove his motorhome (a.k.a. “Breaking Bad” RV) from New Jersey, apparently left his boxer shorts lying around before inviting Katie in for a tour. Um, yeah, way to keep it classy.

Oh right and there’s a virgin, gym owner Mike, also from San Diego, because we all know how well having virgins on the show has worked out before. Plus, yeah, what a great choice for a Bachelorette who describes herself as “sex positive.”

When all was said and done Katie handed out roses to a few serious contenders and a bunch of group date fodder.

As for what’s ahead, same old it looks like. The promos showed verbal sparring, men knocking each other around on group date challenges, the obligatory call for the medics, men getting naked or nearly so, lots of tears, hints of betrayal, an angry Katie telling guys to “get the fuck out” if they’re not there for her, Katie herself threatening to go home. So all the usual nonsense, but we’re still watching, aren’t we?

You can tune in Mondays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Edited because I said that Michael had a 4-year-old daughter rather than a son. Duh.

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