Hey y’all, someone’s not here for the right reasons on Katie Thurston’s season of “The Bachelorette.” It might just be the producers.
Monday’s episode was a smorgasbord of the kind of drama that has little to do with Katie actually falling in love with and marrying someone, and everything to do with keeping ratings and social media mentions up.
There was a group date that seemed designed to make the virgin among the contestants as uncomfortable as possible; another group date that paired two men with a beef in a physical confrontation; and the grand finale was a contestant sowing so much doubt in Katie’s mind about whether the other men were there for the right reasons she was left shaking and crying.
Sure, she managed to deepen some connections in between the drama, but the cocktail party turned into a shit show and the rose ceremony was delayed until next episode.
At the centre of the brouhaha was Karl Smith, a motivational speaker from Florida. The word on the net is that Karl might be in this thing to gain social media followers and that could be true, but casting doesn’t happen in a vacuum. If Karl is indeed the type of jackass who’d prey on a woman’s insecurities just to get reality TV famous, you think producers didn’t know that going in?
I’ll be honest: I was ready to give Karl the benefit of the doubt after the first bit of tension between him and other men early in the episode, especially given the franchise’s shoddy record with its Black contestants, but by the end, yeah, he just seemed like a jerk.
Next week, we’re promised, the drama continues, with more antagonism between Karl and everyone else in the house, and bad blood between Aaron and Thomas. In the meantime, here’s what was up on Monday.
‘The Greatest Lover of All Time’
Much has been made of the fact that Katie is “sex positive,” so it was inevitable there would be a group date that involved the men talking about sex. It was also inevitable that Mike, the San Diego gym owner who’s saving it for marriage, would be on that date.
Guided by actor, comedian and podcaster Heather McDonald, Christian, Garrett, Tre, Quartney, James, Justin, Thomas, Connor B., Karl and Mike had to answer sex questions — stuff like their favourite sex positions (Mike’s answer was a question mark), a woman’s largest sex organ (nope, not the vagina, the brain) and what piece of clothing increases her chances of having an orgasm (really? socks?).
And then they had to do presentations on what made each of them the greatest lover. It was more about innuendo than raunch, unless you consider hand puppets making out triple X-rated.
When it was Mike’s turn, he read Katie a composition that climaxed with the line “I would wait another 31 years to have sex if it was what proved to you that I would sacrifice everything for you to feel loved and secure.”
Um, yay? Katie bought it, even wiping tears from her eyes, and it won Mike the trophy. But it was Thomas with whom she exchanged steamy smooches at the after-party and who got the date rose. Mike and Connor, who got a redo on his Night 1 kiss, sans cat costume this time, were given honourable mentions.
‘We did make out while he was sitting on a toilet’
First impression rose winner and fan favourite Greg Grippo also got the first one-on-one date, which involved pitching a tent (a real tent, get your mind out of the sex date), turning a bucket into a makeshift toilet, on which Greg sat while he and Katie kissed, and fishing in a river.
The rustic activities — they wore his and hers plaid shirts over hoodies, for gawd’s sake — stirred up lots of emotions in Katie because they reminded her of stuff she used to do with her dad, who died in 2012.
She picked Greg for the meaningful date because “I wanted someone here who I see this going far with,” she said, cementing Greg’s frontrunner status. But a couple of things bothered me. When Katie was struggling to hold back tears as she talked about her father, why didn’t Greg reach out and comfort her? And why did he wait until later at dinner to tell her he’d lost his own father two years before and also had fond memories of them fishing together? Is there some emotional blockage going on or am I reading too much into it?
Once Greg did open up, he couldn’t hold back tears of his own, for which he kept apologizing. But he and Katie ended the evening with fireworks, smooches and mutual admiration.
Katie’s Big Buckle Brawl
This group date started with co-hosts Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe sneaking into the men’s quarters while they were sleeping, waking them up by banging a pot and a cheese grater (?) with spoons and forcing the participants outside in whatever they had on. It appeared no one was sleeping commando.
And then John, Andrew S, Kyle, Josh, Aaron, Brendan, Hunter and Cody had to put on cowboy outfits and then take their shirts off again to mud wrestle each other, so why not just stay in their underwear?
The main event was Aaron vs. Cody. We already learned on Night 1 that Aaron had some kind of beef with Cody, whom he knew from San Diego, and obviously the producers knew that too or they would never have been put on the date together.
Their wrestling match was strenuous enough that Katie noticed the tension between them and, after Aaron won the Big Buckle and got to hang out with her alone, she asked him what was up.
It was something about unspecified social media posts, Cody wanting “to become famous” and handling unspecified situations in a “malicious” way, according to Aaron. When Katie confronted Cody and he denied everything Aaron had said, she decided Cody was the one telling fibs and sent him home.
While Katie was off on her own brooding over Cody’s untrustworthiness at the after-party, Andrew made his move and brought her a glass of champagne. And then they bonded over the fact they both grew up poor, sealing their connection with kisses and the date rose. Better luck next time Aaron and Hunter, despite your handwritten letter.
‘I don’t know how tonight could be ruined’
The minute Katie uttered those words you just knew the cocktail party before the rose ceremony was going to hell in a hand basket.
First Karl mused to the other gents seemingly out of the blue that maybe Cody wasn’t the only dude who wasn’t there for the right reasons. Then he told Katie “there are some people who don’t have the best intentions,” but he wouldn’t give her names or examples, and had the nerve to tell her not to “stress about that.” As fucking if.
Of course she stressed. She stressed enough to give the men a teary speech telling them “if you are not here for me, if you are not here for an engagement, then get the fuck out.”
“I don’t know who is here for the wrong reasons, but from what I’ve been told there are multiple people I should be looking out for,” she added.
She even pulled Aaron aside, thinking that after he threw Cody under the bus he could out the other rats, but he was flummoxed. In the meantime, Karl confessed to the other men that he was the one who had sent Katie into a tailspin. “I heard some stuff circulating around,” he said vaguely. “I don’t know specifics 100 per cent.”
Perhaps that’s because there are no “specifics”? As far as I can tell he flat out lied when he claimed he only brought it up because Kate asked him about it first.
Things ended with the rest of the men rightfully pissed off and Katie in a room by herself crying. And we’ll have to wait till next week to see how it’s resolved and who’s getting roses.
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