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Joey gets his girl, Josh gets rivals on Bachelor in Paradise Canada

Joey Kirchner and Vay Paquette share some news on “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos courtesy of Citytv

You could say that Sunday’s “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” was about loyalty and the rewards or consequences thereof.

Joey proved his loyalty to Vay and got to leave Paradise with his girl.

Josh proved his loyalty to Lisa and was rewarded by . . . her going on a date with another guy. Then, when Josh tried to rekindle his flirtation with Maria — yes, she was still around, I’ll explain later — she got scooped up by another newcomer, raising the prospect of Mr. “Bachelor” in Paradise not getting a rose.

I’m skeptical that Josh will get bounced. I mean, look what happened with Maria. Last week’s episode made it seem as though Josh might give her his rose at Lisa’s expense, but he stuck with Lisa.

By rights, Maria should have gone home along with Bianka and Nicole. Iva had already self-eliminated with the words “I had a blast, but I’m peacing out.”

But then, after the final rose, host Jesse Jones reappeared with a final, final rose, a.k.a. “a special rose for a special lady who deserves another shot at love here in Paradise.” It was up to Josh and the other men, including Kamil, Brendan S, Brendan M, Alex, Joey and Mike, to decide who that lady would be and they chose Maria.

Maria Garcia-Sanchez, right, got to stay thanks to a “special” rose; Bianka Kamber, front, had to go.

The cynic in me thinks that had as much to do with Vay’s continuing jealousy of Maria as with second chances, but there we are.

The next day, Joey was in tears after a sleepless night as Vay continued to give him the cold shoulder over the fact he’d left Vay to go to his friend Maria’s cabin and talk her into sticking around.

Once Vay finally agreed to talk it out with Joey he was extremely contrite, even though I don’t think he had a reason to be.

“I don’t want to be the jealous crazy girlfriend . . . but unfortunately that’s how I felt,” said Vay. “I wish I didn’t care when you spoke about another girl,” she said, adding, “If you want to be with me you need to understand that it comes with a lot of baggage.”

Joey understood and was ready to turn himself into a human luggage rack.

“I hate that I’m the reason you felt the way you did yesterday . . . because I love you,” he said.

“I was trying to be a good person for people in need, but you are my No. 1 priority.”

And with that, the deep freeze was over as Joey and Vay smooched and the other campers cheered. More on them later.

In the meantime, a new dude had ambled into Camp Paradise: 27-year-old engineer and firefighter trainee Connor Rogers from Toronto. And he was Lisa’s type, “a mix between Owen Wilson, Prince Harry and Bradley Cooper,” as she put it.

Connor had the good fortune of arriving just after all the men had disappeared to play basketball, but I doubt Lisa would have been dissuaded from accepting his date even if Josh had been around. She did spare a thought for Josh, however, saying, “If I have a great time with Connor I will actually be worrying about Josh because then I’ll have a hard decision to make.”

Lisa Mancini was vibing with Connor Rogers and I don’t even know if he likes Hawaiian pizza.

Well, wouldn’t you know that the date allowed Lisa, a renowned friend to rodents, to channel her “inner squirrel” on a ropes course? And, more importantly, when she and Connor got to the drinks-on-a-couch part of the date, Lisa opened up to him about the death of her father in 2020, something she said she hadn’t shared with anybody else.

“I’m, like, hopeful that we can keep pursuing this,” Connor said before they shared a kiss, one that Lisa said left her feeling sparks whereas kissing Josh felt “more like a friend.”

Oh dear.

To her credit, Lisa told Josh what was going on after she and Connor returned to the beach and he was . . . totally cool with it.

“If you really like someone, Lisa, I want you to explore that here, honestly,” Josh told her. “I’m in your corner. Whether I’m with you or I’m cheering for you, I’ve got your back.”

How sweet is that?

And the silver lining was that Josh could now explore his feelings for Maria guilt free. Just before Lisa turned up, Josh and Maria had been hanging out by the fire pit, flirting, and had agreed to get to know each other more.

But then along came Karn Kalra, a 30-year-old actor from Toronto. (His credits include “Tuxedo Man #1” in the Oscar-winning movie “Green Book,” playing Saddam Hussein in “The Dictator’s Playbook” and Agent Folson in “The Hot Zone: Anthrax,” so more than “actor” Chris Sutton on “The Bachelorette.”)

Maria Garcia-Sanchez got to go on another date, this time with newcomer Karn Kalra.

And why wouldn’t Maria go on a date with him? Josh has got to be one of the nicest guys in Camp Paradise, but it’s not like he’d given Maria a rose.

She even seemed to have fun tubing with Karn, despite getting thrown out of the tube at least twice and face-planting once, which didn’t look like it tickled.

Karn scored points with Maria for being close to his mom and he said she “checks a lot of the boxes off.”

Still, Maria went for a walk with Josh when she got back to camp and said she had more in common with him, but she stopped short of letting Josh kiss her, pointing out, “You literally just kissed someone the night before.”

Well, yeah, it’s Paradise. And your point is?

We’ll have to wait till next week to find out if Maria agrees to be Josh’s fourth Paradise lip-lock or goes for the clean slate, a.k.a. Karn.

In the meantime, Joey and Vay solidified their bond with a date that involved roasting weenies and marshmallows next to a mini trailer called a Happier Camper (honestly, the product placement on this show is intense).

Vay Paquette goes cowgirl for her honey Joey Kirchner on their date.

Vay showed up in a cropped gingham top, jean short shorts, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat, which Joey said made him “happy in a bunch of places.”

“Whoever thought the guy walking in in the pink Speedo would be this amazing man?” said Vay.

We knew that Joey had “something big” to tell Vay, but he’d already popped the L-word and it seemed early for an engagement. It turned out Joey had to leave Paradise for Alberta that night to be best man at his friend’s wedding and he wanted Vay to come with him and meet his family.

“Will you be my plus one?” he asked.

“Of course I’ll come with you,” she replied.

So Joey and Vay rode off into the night after exchanging heartfelt hugs with their cast mates. Damn it, I’m going to miss you, Joey!

Now let’s talk about the other couple who dropped an L-bomb. That would be Brendan S and Illeana.

Brendan Scanzano hasn’t wavered in his devotion to Illeana Pennetto.

Brendan has only had eyes for Illeana since Day 1 so it shouldn’t be a huge surprise that he was talking about getting engaged and asking Illeana for her favourite ring style (princess cut or radius cut, which she had to explain to Brendan).

Illeana appeared to be less gung ho than Brendan, saying that he’d run head first into an engagement without thinking about how things would work outside Paradise, but when Brendan told her he loved her, she replied, “I know you do and I love you too.”

And then there were Kamil and Caitlin.

Caitlin Clemmens and Kamil Nicalek. Is she really having doubts or are producers just messin’?

Kamil planned a surprise for Caitlin with blankets, bubbly and a basket of clementines in honour of the nickname he gave her. And they seemed to be on the same wavelength as far as wanting to be in a committed relationship and yet . . . Caitlin kept expressing doubts: about whether Kamil would “step up” when they were a plane ride away from each other; whether he’d call it quits like he did with Annaliese on U.S. “Bachelor in Paradise”; whether she herself would overcome her instinct to cut and run to avoid getting hurt.

It’s hard to tell if these are genuine obstacles or just editing to make it seem like Caitlin and Kamil won’t leave Paradise together.

In any event, it seems like shit is about to get real, or as real as it can anyway, next week. It seems the committed couples are having serious chats ahead of the last rose ceremony. And it look like there will actually be a rose ceremony. And then Jesse shakes things up by announcing fantasy suites.

Yes, definitely a shakeup considering this has been probably the most chaste season in “Bachelor in Paradise” history.

You can tune in next Sunday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And don’t forget “Bachelor After Show: After Paradise” at 9:30 p.m. If you want to talk Paradise with me you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Three new women shake up Bachelor in Paradise Canada

Sunday’s “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” was rocky for Kamil Nicalek and Caitlin Clemmens
and Angela Amezcua and Brendan Morgan. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos courtesy of Citytv

Beware the quiet ones.

When three new women infiltrated Camp Paradise on Sunday’s “Bachelor in Paradise Canada” it wasn’t the two more aggressive ladies who caused the most disruption; it was the “really nice girl.”

There are now five more women than men on the beach — a bit of overkill, no, “Bachelor in Paradise Canada”?

And the three newbies all had date cards, but only one of the dates threatened the established order. More on that later.

As the episode opened, the campers discussed the flirtations of the night before (which you can read about here) and Nicole, one of last week’s newcomers, lamented that the people who were coupled up — essentially everyone but her and fellow new arrival Bianka — seemed unlikely to “budge.”

Bianka, who as a “Bachelor Canada” winner was kind of a marquee attraction when the cast was first announced, has had hardly any screen time and appeared to not even be trying to kindle any romantic sparks.

But that state of affairs didn’t deter Halifax fan contestant Sasanet, a.k.a. Sasa, who declared “Everyone’s gonna be obsessed with me” and who, in Brendan M’s words, wasn’t afraid to step on toes. She figured every man was fair game until they were engaged.

Mike Ogilvie reminded Sasanet Iassu a bit of Thor on their date.

So she chose “beautiful man” Mike for her date and Mike got to show off the physique she so admired on a slip and slide, even pulling Sasa along the slide at one point using just his brawny arms — “like Thor,” she said — as she held onto his ankles.

“Was he as good as Thor? No, but he met my expectations,” Sasa quipped.

Alas, it would have taken all of the Avengers to pull something resembling a decent conversation out of Mike and Sasa. That expression that opposites attract? Not in this case.

City girl Sasa made it clear she preferred a walk in the mall to hiking and when Mike asked her if she liked hardcore metal music, she replied, “Absolutely not, it stresses me out.”

Mike couldn’t wait to return to Stacy. “I’m very thrilled to be coming home to you,” he told her.

In the meantime, host Jesse Jones had announced the “Camp Paradise Bonfire,” which involved the campers sitting around a bonfire and asking each other anonymous questions that had been dropped into a box.

From left, Lisa, Illeana, Bianka, Vay and Sessa at the bonfire, with Josh, Brendan M and Kamil behind.

Mike got asked, “Why didn’t you tell Stacy about your interest in Caitlin before the rose ceremony?” His lame answer: he couldn’t find Caitlin to talk to for a week, which I guess is better than “I waited because production told me to.”

And then for Kamil: “Do you not realize all the girls notice you checking them out or do you just not care?”

Kamil hemmed and hawed and then settled on, “I didn’t think I was checking them out, but if that’s the case I guess I’ll admit to it. There’s a lot of beautiful people here in Paradise.”

Finally, Joey not so anonymously had a question for Vay: “Are you falling in love with Joey because I’m falling in love with you.”

Vay said she was definitely getting there although she needed more time because of her trust issues and that made Joey’s heart warm.

You want to know whose heart wasn’t warm? Caitlin’s.

She was brooding over Kamil’s admission to checking people out.

“I want somebody who’s got eyes just for me, like not on everyone else,” she told Kamil.

Kamil was annoyed but apologized, but only for the way he answered the question, which Caitlin called “lacklustre.”

That wasn’t the end of the discussion. Mike and Stacy told Kamil and Caitlin the reason they were being “targeted” by other people was because they spent so much time apart from the rest of the group.

Mike suggested Kamil go on other dates, like Mike had, to be sure his relationship with Caitlin was a “10 out of 10.”

Kamil disagreed. “Once you find something special in life I feel like you should keep it close,” he retorted, adding that he’d be happy to leave Paradise right then and there with Caitlin and make it work in the real world.

“That sounds like love to me. Would you say then you’re in love?” Mike asked.

Neither was willing to fess up to that.

It didn’t end there because the next day Kamil chastised Caitlin for not having his back and making a “big deal” over his checking people out comment. “I don’t feel I need to reassure you all the time,” Kamil said. Caitlin was aghast and said in her confessional she felt like she was being gaslit.

I think Mike’s right. One of these two should go on a date with a different person.

Onwards! A new day brought a new arrival: fan contestant Iva from Calgary.

Iva described herself as “aggressive in my pursuit.” Even “I got shade for days” Joey called her “blunt” for the way she fired questions at the men.

Josh Guvi gets to know Iva Mikulic, perhaps more than he bargained for.

But Josh found her “spicy” and agreed to go on a date. His current romantic interest, Lisa, kind of took it in stride, calling Josh “the Bachelor in Paradise.”

As for the date, it was all fun and games when it came to flying on a trapeze; less so when Iva demanded that Josh dump Lisa. “You make out with her I’ll fucking throw you in the lake,” Iva said. Well, all righty then.

Iva’s demand might have carried more weight if Josh had enjoyed making out with her. But when a producer asked Josh about his kiss with Iva, he kind of grimaced and diplomatically declared himself “undecided.”

Josh told Lisa all about the ultimatum when he came back to the beach. “Does that mean me and her are gonna have a problem?” asked Lisa. “I am the last person somebody wants a problem with. I’m small, but I’m mighty.”

Speaking of problems, Angela definitely had one.

The third new arrival was Maria, a Colombian-born, Toronto-raised designer who described herself as having Canadian “niceness” and Colombian “spice.”

To Joey, she was “a sweetheart of a girl,” someone he’d worked with in Toronto and gone on one unsuccessful date with. But as he gave Maria the lay of the Paradise land, Joey made it clear he had a deep connection with Vay — which didn’t make Vay any less jealous of the time Joey spent with Maria or the way he talked about her.

Guy after guy politely blew Maria off, letting her know they were taken — all except Brendan M. Brendan told Maria he was “definitely open” to “meeting new people and seeing if there’s possibility there.”

Uh oh.

When Brendan agreed to Maria’s date, he justified it by saying he and Angela had talked “in the past” about allowing each other to go on dates with new people, but the operative word was “past” — Angela clearly thought that kind of deal was behind them.

Angela summoned Brendan for a chat — the conversation they should have had before he agreed to go with Maria because tossing “All right?” over your shoulder as you walk away with someone else doesn’t really count. Brendan said he wanted Angela to just focus on what they had but also to give him the “respect” to go on this date.

Basically, he was unsympathetic to her distress, leaving her with a non-committal “Chat with you later,” not even a hug or a peck on the cheek.

Cold, dude, cold.

“It feels nice to be painted on,” said Brendan Morgan, with Maria Garcia-Sanchez. We bet!

He was all smiles when he and Maria met up to strip down to white bathing suits and throw paint on a drop sheet and each other, eventually rubbing it on each other’s bodies.

Still, Brendan hadn’t completely forgotten about Angela. As he and Maria shared drinks by a cosy fire, Brendan admitted he really wanted to kiss her but refrained because he didn’t want to disrespect Angela.

Bad news, Brendan, the “disrespect” horse bolted before you shut your lips, er, the barn door.

Angela was back at the beach, telling her besties Illeana and Caitlin she wasn’t sure she could completely trust Brendan anymore.

And then Brendan dropped the equivalent of a cow patty on the whole situation by returning from his date, spotting Angela with her friends and manoeuvring Maria over to a beach bed instead of talking to Angela.

Hey Brendan, I think we’ve solved the mystery of why you’re not in a committed relationship yet. You clearly have no idea how to commit!

Next week, it looks like neither Angela nor Maria is happy with Brendan M. There’s more tension between Joey and Vay over Maria. Iva continues her dogged pursuit of not only Josh but Mike. And is that Kevin Wendt’s lovely fiancee, Astrid Loch, helping him introduce the “Camp Paradise Twisted Talent Show”?

You can tune in next Sunday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And don’t forget “Bachelor After Show: After Paradise” at 9:30 p.m. If you want to talk Paradise with me you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Edited to correct the spelling of Sasa.

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