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Tag: Nayte

Fantasy suites turn bros into foes and The Bachelorette is in love

December 15, 2021 /
From left, Nayte Olukoya, Joe Coleman and Brandon Jones await their fate on “The Bachelorette.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC.

Sorry Chris Sutton, but you know who sure seems to have it in the bag after Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette.”

Michelle Young and her final three — Nayte Olukoya, Joe Coleman and Brandon Jones — went to Mexico for fantasy suite dates, but she told only one of those men she was already in love with him. That would be Nayte.

And yes, you’d be forgiven for thinking this takes the mystery out of next week’s finale, in which she’ll chose between Nayte and Brandon. Michelle’s feelings for Nayte were clearly more advanced, notwithstanding that she told Brandon she was “falling in love” with him.

Still, we’ve been promised a “shocking conclusion you’d never expect,” so I guess those of us who aren’t up on the spoilers will wait and see.

Her choice is between a man who says he’s never been in love before and whose own stepdad doubts he’s ready to get engaged, and a man who says he’s so ready you feel like telling him to slow his roll.

Brandon got the first date on Tuesday, which he interpreted as a sign of favour from Michelle. And he couldn’t wait to “literally rip out my heart, throw it on the table and say, ‘Just do what you want with it, because it only beats for you at this point.'”

Obviously, he didn’t “literally” do that, but figuratively? Oh yes, indeed.

That night, after their daytime horseback riding and beach smooching, he told Michelle he loved her three times before they’d even cleared the dinner table.

“I’m just so sick of keeping it in because I want you to know I will always, always put you first, always till I take my last breath I will put you first,” Brandon said.

That seems pretty intense for an “I’m still one of three guys left” date, but Michelle wasn’t put off by it.

She reiterated that she was falling in love with Brandon and told him she could see a future with him. “I’ve never met somebody who has made me feel so safe, has made my heart feel so safe. I’m really excited about that, I’m not gonna lie.”

Brandon feeds Michelle an empanada in bed.

They were still on the same page the next morning, even though Brandon shoved an empanada practically up Michelle’s nose, leading to a food fight in bed (ugh, the poor cleaning staff).

“We’re playful, we have so much fun together whether we are kissing, have empanada sliding down our faces or are having a heart to heart: this relationship seems like it has it all,” Michelle said.

One thing Brandon didn’t count on in his glee at getting the first date was the stress of having to sit in the hotel on the nights that Michelle had her other dates, picturing what she was up to with the other two men.

It’s a particularly mean tradition to have the final three all stay in the same suite so they can watch each other roll in the morning after they’ve spent the night with the Bachelorette.

Luckily, none of the men went into the gory details, but you could cut the tension with a knife. “Now we kind of went from bros to foes,” said Nayte.

Joe was the next bro-foe up for a date.

The narrative going in was that Michelle had to learn more about Joe to decide if she could picture a life with him. I’m not entirely sure how ziplining helps with that, but Michelle dug the fact that the normally reserved Joe screamed as he was doing it and showed his “goofy side.”

“Today was, I think, a big day for me because I saw the energetic, upbeat Joe; I saw the relaxed, adventurous side,” Michelle said. If you say so. She also called Joe a 1,000-piece puzzle “and I like puzzles.” Hmmm.

If nothing else, it was the most picturesque date. How can you beat the image of them smooching as the sun sets with a hungry horse nudging them?

Joe and Michelle seemed to vibe at dinner over their shared desire to make a difference in the world, which seemed like a good thing — until you recall she had a similar conversation with Matt James on their “Bachelor” date and they didn’t end up together either.

While Joe and Michelle were bonding, Brandon was back at the hotel quietly freaking out over the fact his woman was out with another man: “You kind of get into your head, thinking ‘Oh, maybe she’s already got the person picked out she wants to be with.'”

Well, yeah, duh, of course she does. The fiction that she’s still trying to decide between three men at this point is just a ridiculous requirement of the format.

Brandon might have taken comfort from knowing that when Michelle woke up with Joe the next day she told him, “I hope you know how much I care about you and how much you mean to me.” The thing is: Joe was already on the L-word train; Michelle was still on the platform.

Nayte, meanwhile, had correctly surmised that it was better to be last than first in the date order. “I would want, personally, my closest connection to be the last guy,” he told Brandon.

Nayte Olukoya was No. 1 in the soul-mate stakes.

Michelle validated that, as they enjoyed cruising on a catamaran, by saying in her voice-over, “When I’m with Nayte I feel how you’re supposed to feel when you’re with your soul mate, when you’re with your favourite person.”

But were her feelings for Nayte stronger than his were for her? Was he ready to get engaged?

Never one to beat about the bush, Michelle told Nayte at dinner, “So falling in love is one thing, being in love is another thing and then engagement is another thing. Which of those are you ready for?”

“I mean, all three,” Nayte said. “I know I trust myself, I trust you and I trust that I’m really falling in love with you.”

Good enough, off to the fantasy suite.

Nayte upped the ante the next morning, telling Michelle, “I’m falling in love with you, I’m in love with you.”

“I am definitely in love with you too,” Michelle replied.

After that, it was no surprise that Nayte was cocky as hell going into the rose ceremony — annoying but not surprising.

Brandon, on the other hand, seemed hella nervous, enough to pull Michelle aside before she could start handing out the roses.

It played well into the production tricks suggesting Michelle was going to send him home. In her voice-over she said she was going to break the heart of “someone who continued to put me first,” basically taking the words right out of Brandon’s mouth. And then she wiped tears from her eyes as Brandon told her, “I will be here for you regardless of what happens to me.”

We were also supposed to think that Brandon’s “Hail Mary,” as Nayte called it, had changed Michelle’s mind about who to send home. Not a chance. If you parse everything she said to Brandon and to Joe on their separate dates it was clear the latter was a goner.

And go he did, expressing his shock.

Michelle told Joe she was still falling in love with him and really had seen a future with him, and she cried an awful lot after his SUV drove away. So much for her “little slice of home.”

Next Tuesday, it’s the three-hour finale (ugh), with the promo suggesting that Michelle’s dad is worried about Brandon becoming jealous and her mom doubting Nayte’s readiness for an engagement, but you know how deceptive those promos can be. We’ll see what’s what next week.

You can tune in at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

An apple falls right out of the tree on ‘The Bachelorette’ hometowns

December 1, 2021 /
Nayte Olukoya, Joe Coleman, Rodney Mathews and Brandon Jones wait to learn their fate
on the hometowns episode of “The Bachelorette.” PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC

You could say the hometowns episode of “The Bachelorette” came down to an apple vs. a guy in orange shorts. Michelle Young tossed the man who will forever be known for dressing as an apple on Night 1 while the man who donned orange swim trunks on their date, the one we were meant to think she was having doubts about, maintained his frontrunner status.

I mean it’s hard to drum up drama when you have a final four that seems this benevolent, and not a mean brother or rude mother in the bunch among the families that Michelle met.

The closest we got to hometown conflict was when Nayte’s stepdad expressed doubt that Nayte was ready for an engagement, which set up the narrative that Michelle was “struggling” as she went into the rose ceremony with the fear that Nayte would break her heart.

But there was no way she was going to send the season’s frontrunner home; ditto for Brandon, since Michelle told him she was falling for him. And was she really going to ditch Joe after he threw her a prom?

So that left Rodney Mathews, the down-to-earth, good-natured fellow who wormed his way into viewers’ hearts.

I always figure you can tell a lot about a man by how he makes his exit. “I’m always gonna care about you, Michelle, like forever,” Rodney said. “You’re amazing Michelle, so thank you.” And he kissed her hand before he got into the SUV.

That’s class. And I don’t want to belabour the point, but like a lot of other people I’m wondering why we couldn’t have had Rodney for a Bachelor instead of Clayton Echard, whom ABC finally confirmed as its next male star.

While I had hoped we might get actual hometown dates this week, instead the men’s families came to Minneapolis.

First up was Brandon, who hails from Portland, Oregon.

Michelle gets a skateboarding lesson from Brandon Jones. My apologies for the crappy screen grabs,
but ABC’s photo selection for the episode was really paltry.

The less said about the skateboarding part of the date the better. Whatever skills Brandon had gained from skating with his whole family deserted him with Michelle around and yes, it did make him look 14.

Skating around Brandon’s mother Carmen, father David and brother Noah was way easier. Noah was playing the skeptic of the group, but Michelle told him she could 100 per cent see herself with Brandon. She won David over by talking fishing and basketball. And she assured Carmen she could see who Brandon really was “and that’s why Brandon is still here, because I truly love who that person is.”

Speaking of love, Michelle told Brandon, “After today it is very clear to me that I am falling for you.” Combine that with the fact there was so much goodbye smooching that they were still lip-locked as Michelle sat in the back of the van and Brandon seemed like a shoo-in for a rose.

Next it was Rodney’s turn to take Michelle spiritually if not physically to Rancho Cucamonga, Calif., but they picked apples and Rodney fed Michelle apples blindfolded, callbacks both to the first night and their one-on-one date.

Michelle was clearly the apple of Rodney Mathew’s eye during their hometown.

If you didn’t know any better it would be easy to think Rodney stood a real shot at a rose. Michelle leapt on him and kissed him and told him she missed him. She said Rodney could be the “best friend” her parents had told her she should end up with. We never heard Michelle say she was falling for him, however.

When his mom, Carrie, asked Michelle if she could create a life with Rodney outside “The Bachelorette,” the best Michelle could come up with was that Rodney was the type of person she’d want to be stuck in an airport with for five hours if their flight got cancelled.

So yeah, I get why Carrie was fearing the worst for her son with three other men in the running, but Rodney told her Michelle was worth the risk.

Perhaps Joe, on the other hand, already had a leg up, since he shared his hometown of Minneapolis with Michelle, but he had the best non-family date activity hands down. He took Michelle to prom at his old high school complete with fancy clothes, snacks, balloons, dancing, a photo booth, king and queen sashes and crowns and, with no chaperones, all the smooching they wanted.

The prom do-over that Joe Coleman (and production) planned made Michelle happy.

This was a callback to Michelle’s group date spoken-word poem in which she said she was the last picked for prom, as well as the fact Joe had never gone to one.

“You’ll always be first with me,” Joe told her.

“Joe really sees me and understands me,” Michelle said.

The tough cookie at the family meet-and-greet was meant to be Joe’s sister-in-law, Hanna, but once again the family was putty in Michelle’s hands.

She told Hanna Joe was her “little slice of home away from home” and Hanna decided that Michelle had the kind of strength and energy that Joe needed in his life. Although she also said, “I hope this works out because we will see her in the grocery store.”

The last supposed obstacle was that Joe hadn’t told Michelle how he felt about her yet, but he rectified that: “I am falling in love with you and I feel like you’re that special person for me.”

Finally, it was the turn of Nayte, a Winnipeg native who now calls Austin, Texas home.

Nayte Olukoya put on the orange swim trunks that Michelle said she liked for their date.

The paddleboarding was an entertaining enough diversion for Michelle, but the main event was meeting Nayte’s mom Leanna and stepdad Charles, who were divorced but had come together just to support Nayte — or Nathaniel, as they called him.

Nayte had warned Michelle that his family wasn’t into talking about emotions — “no heart to hearts, no I love you’s” — so it was pretty remarkable to watch Nayte and Charles do both those things, apparently for the first time ever.

Charles, who had come into Nayte’s life when he was in Grade 9, told Nayte what an amazing journey it had been to watch him “grow up to be you.”

“Never doubt that I’m proud of you . . . never, ever, ever doubt that I love you and never doubt that I’m here for you,” Charles said.

Nayte thanked him for everything.

“I’m gonna have a family one day and I want to be who you were to me for them,” said Nayte, with tears in his eyes.

“You’ll be even better than me,” Charles replied.

If nothing else ever comes of Nayte meeting Michelle, that’s a moment to treasure right there.

But for purposes of plot development, the important conversation was between Michelle and Charles when she asked if Nayte was ready for an engagement and Charles replied, “I don’t know if he’s gonna get to that point.”

Then again, who knows if that answer actually had anything to do with Michelle’s question, given the magic of editing, although Nayte himself told his mom he wasn’t quite there yet.

The day of the rose ceremony, Michelle had an extraneous visit from her former “Bachelor” mates Bri Springs and Serena Pitt, which boiled down to Michelle telling them it was going to be tough to send one of her final four home since they were “the best guys I’ve met in my entire life.” And maybe she’d get her heart broken at the end. Well, duh.

When the time came, Michelle handed roses to Brandon, Nayte and Joe and you know the rest.

Next week it’s back to a Monday night schedule with “Men Tell All.” ABC also promoted Clayton’s “Bachelor” season for the first time, which starts Jan. 3. My assessment, based on the clips, is that they’ve brought on some mean girls to compensate for what would otherwise be the deadly dullness of the season.

You can tune in next Monday at 9 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

A Bachelor is born and a final 4 picked on The Bachelorette

November 24, 2021 /
Michelle Young gets milking lessons with Nayte, Rodney, Martin, Olu and Joe on “The Bachelorette.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

Michelle Young, who’s just the fourth Black lead in 43 combined “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” seasons, picked her final four in Tuesday’s episode and they’re all men of colour for the first time in franchise history.

It’s just too bad that milestone is being overshadowed by the choice of yet another dull white guy as the next Bachelor.

The good news is that on Tuesday Bachelor Nation finally got its first clue as to why Clayton Echard got the call (still to be officially confirmed by ABC). The bad news is that either ABC is letting fifth graders make its casting decisions or it’s manipulating children.

The kids — four students who’d been taught by Michelle — had the task of choosing one of the remaining eight men for a one-on-one date and they picked Clayton.

No sense getting down on the kids. Clayton did build them a fort out of sheets, pillows and overturned furniture. And as student Luke said, “Clayton has really big muscles. He’d be really good at carrying the groceries in” — definitely a useful skill in a husband.

The kids were also perceptive about who didn’t deserve Miss Young’s time.

 “I don’t really like Martin,” said Kelsey. “I don’t know how to explain it. He’s trying to show off. I don’t know if he’s the right one for Michelle and he wears too much cologne.”

Well, that’s bang on.

The kids, if it was indeed the kids, also planned one of the best dates we’ve seen all season, sending Michelle and Clayton to the Bell Museum of Natural History at the University of Minnesota for a real-life Night at the Museum — minus the exhibits that come to life.

Unfortunately for Clayton, fort-building skills and making up his own animal mating call weren’t enough to snag him a rose and a hometown date.

Clayton Echard and Michelle spent the evening in a natural history museum.

Let’s be honest though, that was a given. Sure, he earned the group date rose on last week’s episode, but with guys like Nayte, Joe, Brandon, Rick and Rodney in the running for hometowns Clayton had an insurmountable amount of catching up to do.

Michelle said he checked all the boxes as far as desirable qualities, but “giving out this rose means I’m ready to meet your family and I don’t feel that I’m able to get there with you in time.”

So what made the producers fall in love with him? His muscles? His earnest confession about being ready to settle down and have a family after five years of focusing on his job to the exclusion of all else?

They key moment in the campaign to win fans over to Clayton came after he’d been eliminated and he got letters from two of the kids urging him not to be sad that Miss Young didn’t choose him, which made him cry and vow he’d do whatever it takes to have a family of his own.

Thoughts: why only two letters, was the vote for Clayton not unanimous? (Ahmed, for instance, seemed partial to Rodney and his shaved nipples.)

These letters seemed about as genuine as the wishes that Michelle and Rick pulled out of a wish box on their date but, even if they were real, Luke and Kelsey wouldn’t have written them without guidance from production.

Jayleen and Kelsey, two members of the Bachelor selection committee.

“You will probably meet someone else and fall in love and have lots of kids and be a great dad,” wrote Kelsey, stopping just short of “And you’ll be the next Bachelor.” Just to hammer the point home, the end credits showed Jayleen, impressed that Clayton let her paint his fingernails red, telling a producer, “He’ll be the next Bachelor.”

Yeah, OK, we get it.

Time to move on to what the point of the season is supposed to be: Michelle finding a husband.

To that end, she took Rick, Rodney, Nayte, Joe, Martin and Olu on a farm date, ostensibly also picked by the kids, on which they milked cows, bottle fed calves, churned butter and shovelled shit.

But the real poop got flung around at the after-party. Martin — still pontificating about his “miscommunication” with Michelle over his sexist comment that Miami women were high maintenance — told Rick and Olu that Michelle had not been paying attention, which was “why she perceived everything a little bit incorrectly.”

“There’s a lot of things that have made me question what she really stands for, I guess,” Martin said. And then he mentioned Michelle’s group date poem, the one in which she shared her hurt at being the “token Black girl” at school, and said it showed there was “something deep inside her that maybe she hasn’t worked past and I think that’s immature.”

Michelle in one of her final conversations with Martin Gelbspan.

Martin, of course, despite his boast that he was brutally honest, didn’t share any of that BS with Michelle but just blah blahed about how she was an amazing woman and he wanted to introduce her to his family and friends.

But Olu spilled the tea — “I just want that right man for you,” he said and I believed him — and Michelle confronted Martin.

Martin at first denied the “immature” comment and then tried to spin it as being about the “difference between being insecure and having insecurities,” which doesn’t even make sense. And he kept talking over Michelle, then apologized for “maybe speaking over you” when she called him on it.

I doubt Martin would have got a hometown rose even if Olu hadn’t spoken up, but it was nice to see Michelle put him in his place before showing him the door.

The real Martin came out in the SUV of Shame. Michelle was making a mistake, he said, but “at this point I wouldn’t even care to give her a shot . . . like a woman like that does not deserve my time.”

Can’t wait to see you get your misogynistic ass handed to you at Men Tell All, dude.

Both butter and Michelle were putty in Nayte Olukoya’s hands.

In any event, the only man who was getting the rose on the group date was Nayte, and it wasn’t for his butter churning or the fact he put his back out on manure duty. He told Michelle he was “definitely, seriously, strongly falling for you” and she replied that she was “really tumbling down a hill so fast falling for you as well.”

So if he wasn’t before, Nayte is now the man to beat.

Next up was a one-on-one with Brandon, the main event of which was Michelle taking him to her childhood home while her parents were out.

Brandon Jones and Michelle before her parents “caught” them.

We’re supposed to believe that Michelle’s idea to hang out in her parents’ Jacuzzi, with Brandon in a borrowed pair of her dad’s trunks no less, was spontaneous and that it was a complete coincidence that her folks surprised them there mid-smooch. As if.

To be honest, I’ve always found Brandon’s intensity when it comes to wooing Michelle a little unsettling and, on Tuesday, he dialled it up to 11 by asking for her folks’ permission to marry her — like, bro, you didn’t even know yet if you were getting a hometown date!

The sentimentality continued at dinner, where Brandon talked about how much he wished Michelle could have met his late grandfather, who was his best friend, and gifted her a bracelet that his mom made for him to give Michelle “if I truly think that you’re the one.”

“Michelle Ann Young, I’m falling in love with you,” he declared.

Michelle handed over the rose, obviously, telling Brandon “I can see you being my best friend.”

She also said, “It’s very possible that I could fall in love with Brandon,” but she won’t and man, is he going to be crushed when he gets sent home.

All that was left to do was hand out the other two roses, which Michelle did after cancelling the cocktail party, a move that’s always supposed to come as a shock but never does.

Obviously her fellow Minnesotan Joe Coleman — of whom she said after the farm date, “Clearly Joe knows how to handle tests” — was a lock for a hometown. I figured it was between Rick and Rodney for the final rose and it was Rodney’s.

Despite how much Bachelor Nation loves Olu — and they’ve been lobbying for weeks for him as Bachelor instead of Clayton — he never had a one-on-one with Michelle, a clear indication he wasn’t her guy.

When Michelle said letting Rick and Olu go was her “most difficult goodbye yet,” you believed her.

On to hometowns — and will Michelle actually go to their hometowns? — and an assortment of skeptical family members.

You can tune in next Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Nayte gets one-on-one, Chris S gets bum’s rush on Bachelorette

November 17, 2021 /
Did the producers have it in for Chris Sutton, fifth from right? He had the most ridiculous
costume on a Viking-themed group date. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Has there ever been a more perfect visual metaphor than Chris S dressed as a horse’s ass on Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette”?

I’m hard pressed to think of one considering Chris spent his portion of the episode acting like a posterior.

Let’s review. Last week, Chris disrupted the cocktail party by telling Michelle Young that some guys, i.e. Nayte, thought they had it “in the bag,” primarily because Nayte commented that it wasn’t a question of if he got a one-on-one date but when.

Well, duh, Nayte was right: the first impression rose winner got Tuesday’s second one-on-one (Michelle’s fellow Minnesotan, Joe Coleman, got the first, more on that later).

The minute Chris realized that Nayte wasn’t on the group date card, he looked like he’d swallowed a lemon.

“I went out on a limb for her and told her the honest truth, which is what she wanted to hear and asked from everyone else in the house,” he told the producer-enabler on the other side of the camera, self-righteously tapping out his points with one of his fingers.

“Everything I said fell on deaf ears. The way things played out I feel like I got the short end of the stick.”

Well, he definitely got an end on the group date.

Chris, Casey, Rodney, Martin, Leroy, Rick, Clayton, Olu and Brandon met Michelle at the home of the Minnesota Vikings football team — yes, the group had relocated from Palm Springs to Michelle’s hometown of Minneapolis — where instead of the NFL Vikings they met three older dudes dressed up as ancient Vikings.

The date participants had to put on costumes and do things like yell really loudly, throw logs, eat disgusting fermented herring and arm wrestle. But all the guys except Chris got to dress more or less like Vikings; Chris, the least physically imposing man in the bunch, wore horse’s legs and hoofs with an inflatable horse rear end.

Chris Sutton in a tug of war with Casey Woods. Go ahead, try not to laugh at that silly image.

I’m thinking either the producers were having a laugh at Chris’s expense or trying to compound his humiliation so he’d go off the deep end. Having him arm wrestle the absolutely ripped Olu undoubtedly helped with that mission.

By the time the group segued to the after-party at the historic Semple Mansion, Chris was in full brood mode over the fact he didn’t get the one-on-one despite all the “good information” he’d given Michelle about Nayte. And he claimed he really wanted to talk to her about that but made no attempt to do so.

This was no doubt all part of the evil production plan, although Chris mouthed the word “Wow” when Michelle announced she was wrapping up the party despite not having spoken to Chris. (Clayton, who’d hulked his way into being declared a “true Viking” earlier in the day, got the date rose for telling Michelle about his admiration for his parents. As you know, Michelle is really into parents.)

Absurdly, despite having had a whole evening when he could have grabbed a few minutes of Michelle’s time, Chris decided to wait until the next day and interrupt her date with Nayte to say his piece.

Well, perhaps decided is the wrong word. He couldn’t have known where Michelle and Nayte were having dinner without production being on side, so whether he was goaded into living out his white saviour fantasy or was following a villain script (he is reportedly an aspiring actor) it obviously wasn’t entirely his idea.

Michelle and Nayte had been having a pretty deep discussion, with Michelle telling Nayte about a past relationship that was so toxic she couldn’t eat and thought she had a disease. They had just shared a kiss when Michelle looked over Nayte’s shoulder with a WTF expression on her face as Chris walked up to the table.

She agreed to step outside with Chris, who basically told her he was pissed she’d chosen Nayte over him, although he didn’t put it exactly like that.

“I came here to say I warned you and I don’t want you to make the wrong decision,” i.e. give a rose to Nayte, Chris told her.

With eloquence and far more patience than Chris deserved, Michelle told him she could make her own decisions.

“I do appreciate you wanting to look out for me but also, at the same time, I can speak for myself,” Michelle said. “And I want a man who’s going to stand and support me when I speak and not a man who’s going to speak for me.”

Also, “as a female of colour there’s a lot of situations where people speak for me and my voice isn’t heard.”

She made herself heard in this case. Telling Chris she didn’t see their “relationship” progressing, Michelle walked him as far as the top of the escalator and then returned to give Nayte the date rose, saying their chemistry “is undeniable, unlike anything that I’ve ever felt before.”

“I’m very crazy about Nayte,” Michelle said, adding that he was starting to feel like her person.

Nayte Olukoya cemented his frontrunner status after his date with Michelle.

Besides, Nayte had already been approved by people with way more cred than Chris: Michelle’s two best friends. They joined Michelle and Nayte earlier in the day on a boat ride on Lake Minnetonka (note: Michelle, as she has all season, did the driving) and asked him allegedly hard questions. The first question was clearly a plant from production: “Is there anyone here that you think could be here for the wrong reasons?”

That gave Nayte an opening to talk about Chris S and explain that he didn’t really think he had it in the bag; he was just confident because he knew “there’s something going on” with Michelle.

Michelle’s friends clearly agreed, gushing about Michelle’s and Nayte’s “amazing natural chemistry.”

“I love the way you guys look at each other,” said Allie.

Let’s backtrack a bit and talk about Joe, the season’s other frontrunner.

For their date, Michelle took him on a walk down memory lane — after they’d stopped by a Minnesota Twins game where she threw out the first pitch and kissed Joe for the Jumbotron — visiting her old high school, where they smooched while towering over her old locker, admired her photo in the trophy case and played one-on-one basketball in the gym (yeah, she beat him; in a dress, she pointed out).

“I feel like Joe would have been my crush in high school,” Michelle said.

The main event came over dinner where Joe told Michelle how a college football injury had led to a couple of operations, getting seven screws and a plate in his left foot, and anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide when he couldn’t perform the same way on the basketball court and had to eventually quit the sport.

Michelle and Joe both shed tears.

“You give up so much for the sport that you love. To have something take you out of it before you’re ready to be taken out of it is a pain like not everyone will understand,” said Michelle, herself a former college basketball player.

Naturally Michelle gave Joe the date rose, saying her feelings for him had grown tremendously.

They finished the night with a smoochy Ferris wheel ride.

Joe Coleman was rewarded with a rose for opening up to Michelle on their date.

There were three roses already spoken for and five to give out going into the rose ceremony — yes, if you’re keeping track, we’re five for five in the rose ceremony to episode ratio.

The only thing you really need to know is that Martin had another bout of foot-in-mouth disease that I thought for sure was going to get his butt sent home.

First, he mentioned hearing Michelle give compliments to other men and wondering if she meant the ones she gave him.

“Do you think I would blow smoke up your ass?” asked Michelle. Uh, no.

Then Martin started yapping about women in Miami being high maintenance for allegedly expecting men to do everything for them.

Men, he said, don’t usually “go into a relationship saying ‘Hey, you’re gonna take care of me,'” which made Michelle laugh.

Excuse me, Martin, do you know any men?

And, then as the realization dawned that he was digging himself a hole, Martin told Michelle he knew she was different. Not exactly a convincing recovery.

Alas, he collected a rose along with Rick, Olu, Brandon and Rodney. Casey and Leroy went home.

I’m not entirely sure what next week will bring since the promo was about the rest of the season, but it looks like the other guys aren’t done targeting Nayte. Leave the Canadian guy alone, eh?

You can tune in next Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Chris S steps up as the new villain on The Bachelorette

November 10, 2021 /
Michelle Young took 12 of the men on a slumber party group date, but they ended up sleeping on her. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Michelle Young wasn’t the only one who didn’t feel seen on Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette.”

Apparently, Chris Sutton — who, let’s be honest, we haven’t paid attention to since his intro package in the season premiere — was missing his “look at me” moment. He rectified that with a self-serving speech at the cocktail party about how some of the other men thought they “have it in the bag” — it presumably meaning Michelle — and weren’t putting in the effort she deserves. And then he tried to throw Nayte Olukoya, one of the front-runners, under the bus.

Hey, Chris, we see you now, but it’s not a good look.

Chris actually said in his confessional: “I came in on my white horse and I saved her from the castle that she’s been stuck in.” First off, what the hell does that even mean? Second, I can’t think of anyone who needs saving less than Michelle, especially not by the likes of Chris.

I concur with Nayte: “What a dweeb.”

Alas, Chris S was still around after the rose ceremony. Michelle has done such a good job of weeding out the dudes who are there to cause drama: first Ryan, then Jamie and Peter. But Chris S got to stay. Maybe production asked her to stop dumping the trouble-makers? I don’t know.

Speaking of Jamie, Michelle’s first date was with Martin, who was described as being “very close” to Jamie, so the date narrative was whether Michelle could trust Martin.

Michelle and Martin Gelbspan hung out at the BMW Performance Center.

Personally, I’m not sure I’d trust a guy who tears the sleeves off his shirt, but that’s just me. Things seemed to go fine as Martin and Michelle spun around, literally, in BMW M3s at the BMW Performance Center near Palm Springs. Michelle outdrove Martin and that shouldn’t surprise you.

Martin started to skid when he and Michelle got into a tub to cool off with some champagne and Martin said he didn’t think Jamie was a bad person: “I still think he’s a hell of a man.” Michelle figured Martin was questioning her decision to send Jamie home. So was Martin next?

He course-corrected at dinner at the Rancho Mirage Observatory, explaining that he hadn’t learned how to express emotions growing up and was still working on his communication skills. I’m not sure what any of that had to do with his opinion of Jamie, but Michelle gave him the date rose.

It was on to the group date on which 12 of the men — Will, Chris S, Casey, Chris G, Leroy, Rodney, Olu, Brandon, Clayton, Joe, Romeo and Nayte — got to “surrender to love” by putting on PJs and attending a slumber party complete with cotton candy, popcorn, an ice cream sundae bar, mini spa treatments and giant teddy bears.

Michelle said it was all about “bonding and quality time,” but she didn’t count on the men being more interested in bonding with each other than with her.

By the time WWE stars the Bella Twins showed up to supervise the Ultimate Teddy Bear Takedown — in which the men beat the stuffing out of each other with their bears — Michelle was pissed.

The WWE’s Bella Twins helped the men turn their teddy bears from cuddly to cudgels.

She was so annoyed I’m not sure she took the time to appreciate the absurdity of pairing Brandon, who looks shall we say a little boyish, with Olumide, who Clayton said “looks like he ate three of Brandon for breakfast.” I mean, come on, we watched Olu do an exercise that looked like a pushup combined with a jumping jack.

Hosts Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe nearly fell off the couch when Olu took his shirt off. Brandon’s strategy of trying to dance out of reach could only work so long against that type of brawn.

So Olu’s team, which included Clayton, Casey, Romeo, Leroy and Nayte, won after-party time with Michelle. They were so busy jumping up and down together and playing with the streamers that fell from the ceiling they didn’t notice when Michelle left the building for a heart to heart with Kaitlyn.

Michelle explained that having the guys ignore her took her back emotionally to high school, when she was the “token black girl” who didn’t get asked out on dates. “I wasn’t seen,” said Michelle.

“I’m frustrated and hurt,” she added, struggling to hold back her tears. “In this situation I felt like one thing I wasn’t gonna have to worry about was not being seen.”

Totally makes sense to me, as it did to the chastened men at the after-party.

It resonated especially with Olu, who teared up as he told Michelle that everything she said about feeling isolated as a Black woman reminded him of his four sisters and “me being that male figure in my sisters’ life, having to uplift them, tell them that (they’re) beautiful, you can do anything, the right guy will come to your life.”

It was a genuine moment, one that Michelle especially appreciated because of Olu showing emotion as a Black man. For the date rose to go to anybody but him would have been ridiculous.

(And on the topic of ridiculous, I’m with everyone else who’s commenting about the absurdity of Clayton apparently being chosen as the next Bachelor before Michelle’s season even aired. No offence to Clayton, but I’ve seen nothing to suggest he won’t be just another boring white dude in the lead. Olu deserved to be considered.)

Michelle said she got what she needed from the men, that things were back on track.

Then, for a palate cleanser, she went on a one-on-one with Rick that involved taking the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway to Mount San Jacinto State Park, where they walked around taking in the view and smelling trees.

And oh look, there’s a “wish box,” with instructions to read all the wishes inside before writing and leaving your own. What a coincidence that the first two were about finding “my soulmate” and “a love like my grandparents had,” and the third was “I wish my dad could see the man I’ve become.” Because it turns out Rick has some serious father issues. So good job whichever producer got rid of all the real wishes and put in the fake ones.

Michelle’s and Rick’s wish was “We wish to find love by having the hard conversations,” which sounds less like a wish than a decree for every single dinner portion of a one-on-one date.

And so, during dinner, they got down to it. Essentially, when Rick was 17 he found a text from another woman on his dad’s phone, told his mom about it and his parents split up three days after Christmas. Rick talked about his dad being depressed for about 10 years and calling Rick one day when he was at work and too busy to talk. After Rick called back later, his dad texted “I’m just trying to catch my breath” and was then found dead by a friend, which happened three years ago.

His father died “still blaming me because I blew a whistle unfortunately,” Rick said.

That is heavy stuff that Michelle would have to hear eventually, but planting a note so Rick would talk about it on camera definitely feels skeevy.

Nonetheless, Rick regained his good cheer, told Michelle he felt like he was falling in love with her and accepted the date rose, which she presented to her “little lettuce wrap,” a callback to his Night 1 silver platter getup.

Michelle and Rick Leach enjoy a private performance by Andy Grammer.

And then they got to dance and smooch to a musical artist that people have actually heard of — and not a country one at that — Andy Grammer.

Onward to the rose ceremony — and can I just point out we’re four for four as far as episodes ending with rose ceremonies? Wow.

After Chris S made his silly speech and then rudely butted in front of Brandon for alone time with Michelle, he served up Nayte as an example of one of the men who thought they had it in the bag, recounting Nayte’s comments after the group date card arrived.

OK, yes, Nayte did say, “I’m not stressing about when I get a one-on-one date. All I know is a one-on-one is coming. If it’s not today it’s gonna be another time.” And yes, perhaps he should have said that in his inside voice, but he’s right! He’s the first impression rose winner and likely headed to the finale (and no I haven’t read the spoilers, I don’t give a crap about them) so duh, of course he’s getting a one-on-one.

Does that equate to thinking he has “it in the bag”? I don’t think so.

Nayte was understandably perturbed when his alone time with Michelle was consumed with what Chris had said about him and her warning him that “I’m not this massive prize at the end of this.”

So Nayte confronted Chris and they had a loud, angry conversation, during which Chris S lied and said he gave up Nayte’s name because Michelle asked him for the facts.

Chris Sutton, who will heretofore be down as the Dweeb, doing his best to impress Michelle.

Dude! As if she could get a word in edgewise during your monologue when you were too busy trying to make yourself look good.

Chris also got into it with Olu, who suggested Chris might not get a rose because of “the shit you just pulled.”

Chris laughed to himself, boasting about how all the men hated him and when he got his rose he was going to say, “This one’s for you Olu and then I’m gonna wink at him.” And I don’t believe in violence, but I really, really felt like reaching through the TV screen and slapping the smirk off his face.

Perhaps for an aspiring actor like Chris, it’s better to be a villain than just another guy who’s destined to be group date fodder. Did ABC offer him a speaking role on a show or something?

Anyway, Chris S did indeed get a rose along with Brandon, Leroy, Joe, Rodney, Clayton, Casey and Nayte. Chris G, Will and Romeo got jettisoned.

Next week, Chris S moans about Michelle’s “infatuation” with Nayte; there’s a one-on-one with Joe; Michelle spends quality time with Nayte, and tells some unlucky fellow or fellows “Our relationship isn’t progressing forward” and “I can’t do this anymore.” Fingers crossed those words are directed at Chris.

You can tune in next Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

One man’s cheat sheets get failing grade from Bachelorette

October 20, 2021 /
Bachelorette Michelle Young and her suitors. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Michelle Young’s maiden voyage as Bachelorette included a dude who served himself up on a silver platter, but Michelle had another guy’s head on a platter after deciding he wasn’t there for the Right Reasons (yes, we have to capitalize those words).

Moral of the story: maybe don’t pack your crib notes on how to maximize your time on the show in your luggage, especially not in a red binder with the word “Bachelorette” spelled “Bachlorette” on the front.

By and large, the 30 men Michelle met on Night 1 seemed like affable fellows, which is perhaps why some drama needed to be stirred up over Ryan Fox, an environmental consultant from San Jose, Calif.

What a coincidence that co-hosts Kaitlyn Bristowe and Tayshia Adams surprised three of the men in their hotel rooms and then kicked them out while they snooped through their stuff.

Oh jackpot! There was Ryan’s binder with notes on topics like how to get a good edit, how to get more screen time and — dunh, dunh, dunh, dunnnnh — “how to make it seem like you’re super interested.” Oops.

Ryan Fox looking interested in Michelle before she red-flagged his ass.

Kaitlyn and Tayshia were concerned, but not enough to warn Michelle until after she’d been charmed by Ryan, who showed up with an ice cream truck and a cheesy line about serving up “two scoops of love.” It was working for Michelle, though.

Ryan had obviously studied well, since he told Michelle about how he coaches Special Olympics and that he connected with her because she’s “so giving.”

That first thing is definitely true, but once Michelle had been tipped off by Tayshia and Kaitlyn, and gone to Ryan’s room to inspect the documents for herself, the kindergarten teacher went into full on disciplinarian mode.

Ryan claimed most of his notes had been prepared by friends to help him figure the show out since he hadn’t watched more than two hours of “The Bachelorette” — a curious claim considering he took part in the “Bachelor Live on Stage” tour when it made a San Jose stop.

Whatever the reality, Michelle kicked him to the curb. When Ryan asked for another chance she told him sternly, “You need to respect that I’m going to choose to listen to my red flags.” Second guess Miss Young at your peril.

One down, 29 to go.

There was another man in the doghouse. That would be Joe Coleman, a real estate developer and fellow Minnesotan.

Joe Coleman made a good impression until Michelle remembered who he was.

Joe was looking forward to bonding with Michelle over their shared geographic location, love of basketball and biracial heritage, but Michelle — who is sharp as a tack — soon figured out he was the man who ghosted her when they exchanged DMs; when exactly, I don’t know.

Joe blamed it on the fact one of his properties was in George Floyd Square — that’s the Black man who was murdered by a white Minneapolis police officer in May 2020 — and that there were murders and shootings happening in the neighbourhood and he was feeling anxious.

Michelle countered that she was “a woman of colour living right there when George Floyd and all these different things are going on,” so would have understood if Joe had explained his anxiety.

She softened when he told her he’d had therapy to help with his poor communication skills — “Being a Black man talking about going to therapy, I want you to know that I see you” — but Joe had to wait until the very last rose to find out if he’d been reprieved.

Let’s be honest, though. It was pretty much a given that Joe would stay, if nothing else as a potential conduit for drama if the other men find out Michelle knew him before the show.

So let’s talk about the men who got good grades.

Michelle was taken with Canadian Nayte Olukoya.

The first impression rose winner was Nayte, a Winnipeg native living in Austin, Texas, with a great smile, an adorable dog and a mom who’s a teacher. But he also seemed uncomfortable with being a child of divorce, with his mom having uncoupled from not only his dad but his stepdad, “who’s my best friend.”

Michelle rewarded Nayte for pushing himself to be vulnerable — we’re going to hear that word a lot for the next couple of months — and sealed it with a long kiss that gave her sparks and butterflies, the first we saw her bestow.

For his part, Nayte said earlier that rather than butterflies he had “pigeons in my stomach.”

Sounds like Nayte is going to be accused of being a player and an actor later on, but I’m just going to put my fingers in my ears and go la, la, la, la, la.

Michelle also connected with Rick, who had the weirdest entrance hands down, disguising himself as a plate of food. Seriously, when a table was wheeled over to Michelle with a serving platter on it, she lifted the lid and screamed because there was Rick’s head on a bed of lettuce.

Michelle went back for a second helping of Rick Leach after he showed up disguised as dinner.

When Rick, a medical sales rep from Los Angeles, finally ditched the garnish he came off as a little, um, intense. He seemed very focused on finding the love of his life and the mother of his children. Fine, but it’s the first night and you spent most of it disguised as an entree.

Among the 23 men whom Michelle kept around were two firefighters: Daniel from Austin turned up in his bunker gear but on a toy firetruck; PJ from Houston drove up in the real deal, sirens blaring, and a slick suit and tie.

Michelle also kept two Chris’s: Chris Sutton, a self-described “southern gentleman” and commodities broker living in West Hollywood, who showed up looking like AC/DC’s Angus Young in a schoolboy suit; and Chris Gallant, a motivational speaker from Halifax.

Rodney Mathews should have asked Ryan if he had any cheat sheets on apple varieties.

Among the many teacher references Michelle (and we) had to endure, Clayton, a Missouri medical sales rep, invited Michelle to spank him with a ruler and scored a rose, and Rodney, a California sales rep, dressed up as an apple. Michelle passed him even though he failed her apple test, describing himself as a Granny Smith, a green apple, despite wearing a red costume.

What did the other successful suitors do? Pizzapreneur Peter fed Michelle cannoli and red wine; Romeo spoke French to her; Will spoke some other language; Pardeep told her his dopamine was on fire; Brandon J brought a bed with him and kissed her hand; Spencer showed up with two basketballs; Martin did a back flip; Leroy took a Polaroid of her; Jamie told her she smiles with her spirit. Don’t ask me what Alec and Casey and Mollique and Olu did, but LT wore his suit without any pants and still got a rose.

Hey, somebody’s got to populate the group dates.

So as Michelle said, “Cheers to really beginning the journey.”

You can tune in next Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv, but please note I’ll be on the road next week celebrating a significant birthday and will not post a recap next Wednesday. You can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

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