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Fantasy suites turn bros into foes and The Bachelorette is in love

December 15, 2021 /
From left, Nayte Olukoya, Joe Coleman and Brandon Jones await their fate on “The Bachelorette.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC.

Sorry Chris Sutton, but you know who sure seems to have it in the bag after Tuesday’s episode of “The Bachelorette.”

Michelle Young and her final three — Nayte Olukoya, Joe Coleman and Brandon Jones — went to Mexico for fantasy suite dates, but she told only one of those men she was already in love with him. That would be Nayte.

And yes, you’d be forgiven for thinking this takes the mystery out of next week’s finale, in which she’ll chose between Nayte and Brandon. Michelle’s feelings for Nayte were clearly more advanced, notwithstanding that she told Brandon she was “falling in love” with him.

Still, we’ve been promised a “shocking conclusion you’d never expect,” so I guess those of us who aren’t up on the spoilers will wait and see.

Her choice is between a man who says he’s never been in love before and whose own stepdad doubts he’s ready to get engaged, and a man who says he’s so ready you feel like telling him to slow his roll.

Brandon got the first date on Tuesday, which he interpreted as a sign of favour from Michelle. And he couldn’t wait to “literally rip out my heart, throw it on the table and say, ‘Just do what you want with it, because it only beats for you at this point.'”

Obviously, he didn’t “literally” do that, but figuratively? Oh yes, indeed.

That night, after their daytime horseback riding and beach smooching, he told Michelle he loved her three times before they’d even cleared the dinner table.

“I’m just so sick of keeping it in because I want you to know I will always, always put you first, always till I take my last breath I will put you first,” Brandon said.

That seems pretty intense for an “I’m still one of three guys left” date, but Michelle wasn’t put off by it.

She reiterated that she was falling in love with Brandon and told him she could see a future with him. “I’ve never met somebody who has made me feel so safe, has made my heart feel so safe. I’m really excited about that, I’m not gonna lie.”

Brandon feeds Michelle an empanada in bed.

They were still on the same page the next morning, even though Brandon shoved an empanada practically up Michelle’s nose, leading to a food fight in bed (ugh, the poor cleaning staff).

“We’re playful, we have so much fun together whether we are kissing, have empanada sliding down our faces or are having a heart to heart: this relationship seems like it has it all,” Michelle said.

One thing Brandon didn’t count on in his glee at getting the first date was the stress of having to sit in the hotel on the nights that Michelle had her other dates, picturing what she was up to with the other two men.

It’s a particularly mean tradition to have the final three all stay in the same suite so they can watch each other roll in the morning after they’ve spent the night with the Bachelorette.

Luckily, none of the men went into the gory details, but you could cut the tension with a knife. “Now we kind of went from bros to foes,” said Nayte.

Joe was the next bro-foe up for a date.

The narrative going in was that Michelle had to learn more about Joe to decide if she could picture a life with him. I’m not entirely sure how ziplining helps with that, but Michelle dug the fact that the normally reserved Joe screamed as he was doing it and showed his “goofy side.”

“Today was, I think, a big day for me because I saw the energetic, upbeat Joe; I saw the relaxed, adventurous side,” Michelle said. If you say so. She also called Joe a 1,000-piece puzzle “and I like puzzles.” Hmmm.

If nothing else, it was the most picturesque date. How can you beat the image of them smooching as the sun sets with a hungry horse nudging them?

Joe and Michelle seemed to vibe at dinner over their shared desire to make a difference in the world, which seemed like a good thing — until you recall she had a similar conversation with Matt James on their “Bachelor” date and they didn’t end up together either.

While Joe and Michelle were bonding, Brandon was back at the hotel quietly freaking out over the fact his woman was out with another man: “You kind of get into your head, thinking ‘Oh, maybe she’s already got the person picked out she wants to be with.'”

Well, yeah, duh, of course she does. The fiction that she’s still trying to decide between three men at this point is just a ridiculous requirement of the format.

Brandon might have taken comfort from knowing that when Michelle woke up with Joe the next day she told him, “I hope you know how much I care about you and how much you mean to me.” The thing is: Joe was already on the L-word train; Michelle was still on the platform.

Nayte, meanwhile, had correctly surmised that it was better to be last than first in the date order. “I would want, personally, my closest connection to be the last guy,” he told Brandon.

Nayte Olukoya was No. 1 in the soul-mate stakes.

Michelle validated that, as they enjoyed cruising on a catamaran, by saying in her voice-over, “When I’m with Nayte I feel how you’re supposed to feel when you’re with your soul mate, when you’re with your favourite person.”

But were her feelings for Nayte stronger than his were for her? Was he ready to get engaged?

Never one to beat about the bush, Michelle told Nayte at dinner, “So falling in love is one thing, being in love is another thing and then engagement is another thing. Which of those are you ready for?”

“I mean, all three,” Nayte said. “I know I trust myself, I trust you and I trust that I’m really falling in love with you.”

Good enough, off to the fantasy suite.

Nayte upped the ante the next morning, telling Michelle, “I’m falling in love with you, I’m in love with you.”

“I am definitely in love with you too,” Michelle replied.

After that, it was no surprise that Nayte was cocky as hell going into the rose ceremony — annoying but not surprising.

Brandon, on the other hand, seemed hella nervous, enough to pull Michelle aside before she could start handing out the roses.

It played well into the production tricks suggesting Michelle was going to send him home. In her voice-over she said she was going to break the heart of “someone who continued to put me first,” basically taking the words right out of Brandon’s mouth. And then she wiped tears from her eyes as Brandon told her, “I will be here for you regardless of what happens to me.”

We were also supposed to think that Brandon’s “Hail Mary,” as Nayte called it, had changed Michelle’s mind about who to send home. Not a chance. If you parse everything she said to Brandon and to Joe on their separate dates it was clear the latter was a goner.

And go he did, expressing his shock.

Michelle told Joe she was still falling in love with him and really had seen a future with him, and she cried an awful lot after his SUV drove away. So much for her “little slice of home.”

Next Tuesday, it’s the three-hour finale (ugh), with the promo suggesting that Michelle’s dad is worried about Brandon becoming jealous and her mom doubting Nayte’s readiness for an engagement, but you know how deceptive those promos can be. We’ll see what’s what next week.

You can tune in at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

One man’s cheat sheets get failing grade from Bachelorette

October 20, 2021 /
Bachelorette Michelle Young and her suitors. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Michelle Young’s maiden voyage as Bachelorette included a dude who served himself up on a silver platter, but Michelle had another guy’s head on a platter after deciding he wasn’t there for the Right Reasons (yes, we have to capitalize those words).

Moral of the story: maybe don’t pack your crib notes on how to maximize your time on the show in your luggage, especially not in a red binder with the word “Bachelorette” spelled “Bachlorette” on the front.

By and large, the 30 men Michelle met on Night 1 seemed like affable fellows, which is perhaps why some drama needed to be stirred up over Ryan Fox, an environmental consultant from San Jose, Calif.

What a coincidence that co-hosts Kaitlyn Bristowe and Tayshia Adams surprised three of the men in their hotel rooms and then kicked them out while they snooped through their stuff.

Oh jackpot! There was Ryan’s binder with notes on topics like how to get a good edit, how to get more screen time and — dunh, dunh, dunh, dunnnnh — “how to make it seem like you’re super interested.” Oops.

Ryan Fox looking interested in Michelle before she red-flagged his ass.

Kaitlyn and Tayshia were concerned, but not enough to warn Michelle until after she’d been charmed by Ryan, who showed up with an ice cream truck and a cheesy line about serving up “two scoops of love.” It was working for Michelle, though.

Ryan had obviously studied well, since he told Michelle about how he coaches Special Olympics and that he connected with her because she’s “so giving.”

That first thing is definitely true, but once Michelle had been tipped off by Tayshia and Kaitlyn, and gone to Ryan’s room to inspect the documents for herself, the kindergarten teacher went into full on disciplinarian mode.

Ryan claimed most of his notes had been prepared by friends to help him figure the show out since he hadn’t watched more than two hours of “The Bachelorette” — a curious claim considering he took part in the “Bachelor Live on Stage” tour when it made a San Jose stop.

Whatever the reality, Michelle kicked him to the curb. When Ryan asked for another chance she told him sternly, “You need to respect that I’m going to choose to listen to my red flags.” Second guess Miss Young at your peril.

One down, 29 to go.

There was another man in the doghouse. That would be Joe Coleman, a real estate developer and fellow Minnesotan.

Joe Coleman made a good impression until Michelle remembered who he was.

Joe was looking forward to bonding with Michelle over their shared geographic location, love of basketball and biracial heritage, but Michelle — who is sharp as a tack — soon figured out he was the man who ghosted her when they exchanged DMs; when exactly, I don’t know.

Joe blamed it on the fact one of his properties was in George Floyd Square — that’s the Black man who was murdered by a white Minneapolis police officer in May 2020 — and that there were murders and shootings happening in the neighbourhood and he was feeling anxious.

Michelle countered that she was “a woman of colour living right there when George Floyd and all these different things are going on,” so would have understood if Joe had explained his anxiety.

She softened when he told her he’d had therapy to help with his poor communication skills — “Being a Black man talking about going to therapy, I want you to know that I see you” — but Joe had to wait until the very last rose to find out if he’d been reprieved.

Let’s be honest, though. It was pretty much a given that Joe would stay, if nothing else as a potential conduit for drama if the other men find out Michelle knew him before the show.

So let’s talk about the men who got good grades.

Michelle was taken with Canadian Nayte Olukoya.

The first impression rose winner was Nayte, a Winnipeg native living in Austin, Texas, with a great smile, an adorable dog and a mom who’s a teacher. But he also seemed uncomfortable with being a child of divorce, with his mom having uncoupled from not only his dad but his stepdad, “who’s my best friend.”

Michelle rewarded Nayte for pushing himself to be vulnerable — we’re going to hear that word a lot for the next couple of months — and sealed it with a long kiss that gave her sparks and butterflies, the first we saw her bestow.

For his part, Nayte said earlier that rather than butterflies he had “pigeons in my stomach.”

Sounds like Nayte is going to be accused of being a player and an actor later on, but I’m just going to put my fingers in my ears and go la, la, la, la, la.

Michelle also connected with Rick, who had the weirdest entrance hands down, disguising himself as a plate of food. Seriously, when a table was wheeled over to Michelle with a serving platter on it, she lifted the lid and screamed because there was Rick’s head on a bed of lettuce.

Michelle went back for a second helping of Rick Leach after he showed up disguised as dinner.

When Rick, a medical sales rep from Los Angeles, finally ditched the garnish he came off as a little, um, intense. He seemed very focused on finding the love of his life and the mother of his children. Fine, but it’s the first night and you spent most of it disguised as an entree.

Among the 23 men whom Michelle kept around were two firefighters: Daniel from Austin turned up in his bunker gear but on a toy firetruck; PJ from Houston drove up in the real deal, sirens blaring, and a slick suit and tie.

Michelle also kept two Chris’s: Chris Sutton, a self-described “southern gentleman” and commodities broker living in West Hollywood, who showed up looking like AC/DC’s Angus Young in a schoolboy suit; and Chris Gallant, a motivational speaker from Halifax.

Rodney Mathews should have asked Ryan if he had any cheat sheets on apple varieties.

Among the many teacher references Michelle (and we) had to endure, Clayton, a Missouri medical sales rep, invited Michelle to spank him with a ruler and scored a rose, and Rodney, a California sales rep, dressed up as an apple. Michelle passed him even though he failed her apple test, describing himself as a Granny Smith, a green apple, despite wearing a red costume.

What did the other successful suitors do? Pizzapreneur Peter fed Michelle cannoli and red wine; Romeo spoke French to her; Will spoke some other language; Pardeep told her his dopamine was on fire; Brandon J brought a bed with him and kissed her hand; Spencer showed up with two basketballs; Martin did a back flip; Leroy took a Polaroid of her; Jamie told her she smiles with her spirit. Don’t ask me what Alec and Casey and Mollique and Olu did, but LT wore his suit without any pants and still got a rose.

Hey, somebody’s got to populate the group dates.

So as Michelle said, “Cheers to really beginning the journey.”

You can tune in next Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv, but please note I’ll be on the road next week celebrating a significant birthday and will not post a recap next Wednesday. You can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Watchable July 12 to 18, 2021

July 12, 2021 /

SHOW OF THE WEEK: SurrealEstate (July 16, 10 p.m., CTV Sci-Fi Channel/CTV.ca)

Tim Rozon stars as paranormally savvy real estate agent Luke Roman in “SurrealEstate.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Bell Media

Among the influences that “SurrealEstate” will put you in mind of are crime procedurals, the movie “Ghostbusters” and your favourite real estate porn — not to mention a fun throwback to “The Exorcist” in its opening minutes — but this made-in-Canada drama is its own thing.

It’s about a team of realtors, led by Luke Roman (Tim Rozon of “Schitt’s Creek” and “Wynonna Earp”), who specialize in selling “metaphysically engaged properties,” i.e. haunted houses.

The team includes gadget guy August (British-Canadian actor Maurice Dean Wint), researcher and ex-Catholic priest “Father” Phil (Toronto’s Adam Korson), office manager with attitude Zooey (“Wynonna Earp” vet Savannah Basley) and new employee Susan (Sarah Levy of “Schitt’s Creek”).

TV veterans Art Hindle and Jennifer Dale play recurring spectral characters while Tennille Read (“Workin’ Moms”) appears in multiple episodes as Megan, a client with a particularly troublesome house. And fans mourning the dearly departed supernatural dramedy “Wynonna Earp” can take heart from the fact that Wynonna herself, Melanie Scrofano, appears in one episode of “SurrealEstate” and directed two of them.

That’s the who of “SurrealEstate”; how about the what?

As much as comparisons between “SurrealEstate” and the movie “Ghostbusters” with its “Who you gonna call?” catchphrase are inevitable, the TV show is not that. It has its moments of levity, but its apparitions are generally not played for laughs. There isn’t a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man or Green Goblin in sight.

In fact, the ghosts in “SurrealEstate” are often spooky, if not dangerous. They include ancient malevolent demons, houses that hold their occupants prisoner, spirits out for revenge and even living people with deadly paranormal abilities. And the ghosts that aren’t that scary still have serious stories attached, like a little boy who haunts a former nun-run orphanage.

The show was shot in St. John’s and other parts of Newfoundland, which boasts some lovely homes and also apparently some haunted ones (E! posted an interview with Rozon and Levy in which they talked about guest stars feeling an otherworldly presence at their mansion turned hotel).

The series mostly follows a haunting of the week format, with the Roman Agency having to crack the supernatural case and banish the paranormal perp to make the sale, although there’s a through-line involving the very haunted Donovan House, in which Luke takes a particular interest.

As the suave and charismatic but guarded Luke, still wounded over a childhood trauma, Rozon — best known as immortal gunslinger Doc Holliday in “Wynonna Earp” and Alexis’s love interest Mutt on “Schitt’s Creek” — burnishes his leading man credentials. Likewise Levy, who played waitress Twyla (and at one point Mutt’s girlfriend) on “Schitt’s,” gets to be more than just a sounding board behind a cafe counter, portraying a professional overachiever with a messed up personal life.

The other members of the team also get their moments to shine. That lost little boy haunting, for instance, provides a plot detour into Phil’s back story and his conflicted relationship with the church he left. We learn that Zooey, who hides her feelings behind irony, lost her high school sweetheart to drug abuse and now cycles through relationships with unreliable men. We don’t know much about August beyond the fact he’s a whiz with technology and quotes famous authors, but that may change before the season ends.

The fact that the team, even initial skeptic Susan, takes what they do seriously grounds the show despite the paranormal subject matter. You might not believe in ghosts, but the Roman Agency does and that helps us believe in them.

The Beast Must Die (July 12, 10 p.m., AMC)

Cush Jumbo as Frances and Billy Howle as Strangeways in “The Beast Must Die.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Ludovic Robert/AMC

There’s no ambiguity about the end goal in this crime thriller, based on the 1938 novel by Cecil Day-Lewis (yes, Daniel’s father): “I am going to kill a man,” says bereaved mother Frances Cairnes, played by Cush Jumbo. “I don’t know his name, I don’t know where he lives, I have no idea what he looks like. But I’m going to find him and kill him.”

Jumbo, known in North America for “The Good Wife” and “The Good Fight,” brings Frances’s pain to anguished, visceral life as well as her fierce intelligence.

Her 6-year-old son Martin was killed by a hit-and-run driver on a vacation visit to the Isle of Wight and the local police have mishandled the investigation. So Frances, a widowed teacher, takes matters into her own hands: leaving her job and apartment, disguising her identity, and tracking down a suspect with as much dedication and ingenuity as a crack detective.

That’s how she comes to meet rich developer George Rafferty (the ever reliable Jared Harris), after befriending his much younger sister-in-law Lena (Mia Tomlinson) on the pretext of shadowing her for a mystery novel she’s writing. Frances ends up moving into a cottage on the Rafferty estate, where she has a close-up view of George’s casual cruelty and the dysfunction of the family, which includes George’s harridan of a sister Joy (Geraldine James, Marilla on “Anne With an E”), his troubled wife Violet (Maeve Dermody) and bullied son Phil (Barney Sayburn).

Frances has to keep up the pretence of being a writer — not easy to do when her grief can swamp her at a moment’s notice — and try to win the confidence of the odious George while avoiding police detective Nigel Strangeways (Billy Howle), who has decided to reopen the case.

Did George really kill Martin? Will Frances really kill him?

Along the way to answering those questions we delve into Strangeways’ own trauma over witnessing the death of his former partner, as well as the Rafferty family dynamics, but this is Jumbo’s and Harris’s show and it’s not always clear who’s the cat and who’s the mouse in their interactions. Frances has the force of her resolve on her side, but George has his cunning and entitlement.

When the resolution comes — after a couple of twists that keep us guessing — it’s hard to say that anybody has really won.

Schmigadoon! (July 16, Apple TV Plus)

Melissa (Cecily Strong) and Josh (Keegan-Michael Key) get trapped in a musical in “Schmigadoon.” PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy of Apple TV Plus

A Martin Short leprechaun and Cecily Strong singing. Aaron Tveit swaggering and Jane Krakowski high kicking. Kristin and Ariana with voices that ring, these are a few of my new favourite things.

With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein, if you recognize that I’m playing with the song “My Favorite Things” from the 1959 musical and 1965 movie “The Sound of Music,” you’re likely already predisposed to enjoy this comedy, an affectionately mocking love letter to the musical.

It stars Cecily Strong of “Saturday Night Live” and fellow comedian Keegan-Michael Key (“MADtv,” “Key and Peele”) as Melissa and Josh, a pair of Manhattan doctors who meet cute by the hospital vending machine, start a romance and, several years later, are trying to reconnect on a couples’ retreat when they wander off a hiking trail and end up in the old-fashioned town of Schmigadoon.

Yes, that’s a play on “Brigadoon,” the 1947 Lerner and Loewe musical (and later movie) about two tourists who stumble into a magical Scottish village that appears for only one day every 100 years.

If you’re a fan of musicals, you’ll enjoy spotting all the references to the canon packed into “Schmigadoon!” They start from the moment Melissa and Josh follow a “Wizard of Oz”-like path into town where the citizens greet them with an exuberant song and dance that will put you in mind of “Oklahoma!”

Musical hater Josh can’t wait to blow the old-timey (and very fake looking) town while musical lover Melissa treats the townsfolks’ penchant for breaking into song like an entertaining diversion, but when they try to leave the next day the portal back to the real world has closed. A leprechaun (Martin Short) informs them that they can’t go until they find true love. Not only are they trapped; the love they thought they shared has been exposed as a lie.

Josh and Melissa quickly break up, which leaves them free to explore other romantic entanglements. For Josh that includes farmer’s daughter Betsy (Disney star Dove Cameron), channelling both “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” and “Oklahoma!”; and schoolmarm Emma Tate (Ariana DeBose of “Hamilton”), a ringer for Marian the Librarian from “The Music Man.” Melissa’s admirers include Danny Bailey, a Billy Bigelow stand-in (“Carousel”) played with appropriate bad boy swagger by Broadway vet Aaron Tveit; and Doc Lopez (Mexican heartthrob Jaime Camil), a Captain von Trapp-like disciplinarian (“The Sound of Music”).

The show also stars former “Cabaret” MC Alan Cumming as Mayor Menlove (get it?); Ann Harada of “Avenue Q” as his wife, Florence; Kristin Chenoweth as town scold Mildred Layton, who puts her “Wicked” pipes on display in a fun number that borrows from “The Music Man”; Fred Armisen as her husband, Reverend Layton; and Jane Krakowski in a small but impactful role as the Doc’s fiancee, the Countess (yep, “The Sound of Music” again).

Showrunner and musical theatre lover Cinco Paul created the series with his “Despicable Me” co-writer Ken Daurio, with “SNL’s” Lorne Michaels executive producing. Paul wrote the songs, which are pitch perfect imitations of what you’d hear in a real golden age musical but also wink at the inherent silliness of the form, not to mention the sexism (the racism isn’t explicitly confronted aside from the fact the cast includes non-white faces).

Kudos are due to the ensemble of singers and dancers who bring the musical numbers to life (Mississauga’s Amanda Cleghorn of “So You Think You Can Dance Canada” among them). Strong, a musical fan in real life (as is Key), gets to join in on the singing and hoofing.

I have no idea how “Schmigadoon!” will play with the musical-adverse, but if you love them, as corny as it sounds, it might just put a song in your heart.

Short Takes

The first major group portrait of the Beatles taken by Terry O’Neill during the recording of
“Please Please Me” at Abbey Road Studios in 1961. PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy of Terry O’Neill

Icon: Music Through the Lens (July 16, 9 p.m., PBS)

Watching this series will remind you just how much music appreciation is a visual as well as an aural experience. Over six episodes featuring dozens of interviews and many, many pictures, the docuseries takes us into the world of music photography from the point of view of the takers and the taken. The first episode, which I screened, is a treasure trove of stories about capturing everyone on camera from Robert Johnson to the Beatles and Rolling Stones; Jimi Hendrix to Joy Division; B.B. King to Bob Marley; Beyonce to Billie Eilish; and Sinead O’Connor to Snoop Dogg. Future episodes, on subsequent Fridays, explore concert images, record covers, magazine images, music photography as art and the future of the medium in the digital era.

Transgender teen Levi, left, and his twin sister Kailyn. PHOTO CREDIT: Mina Lumena

Levi: Becoming Himself (July 16, CBC Gem)

This touching and thought-provoking documentary may open your eyes and your heart to what it’s like to be a transgender teen. For Vancouver’s Levi Nahirney, transitioning from female to male is just one part of an identity that also includes being Vietnamese-Canadian, a twin and an adoptee. Obviously there have been challenges — including homophobia and transphobia — but the film isn’t a downer. Levi, now 19, has lots of support from twin Kailyn, adoptive parents Tom and Lois — who recounts that Levi was 3 when he first began asking why he wasn’t a boy — his birth family, his friends and the online LGBTQ community. Levi is sharing his story in the hope of inspiring other trans people. “I want to be someone who could potentially save someone’s life,” he says.

Odds and Ends

Ronan Farrow in the docuseries “Catch and Kill: The Podcast Tapes.” PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy of HBO

“Catch and Kill: The Podcast Tapes” (July 12, 9 p.m., HBO/Crave) revisits Ronan Farrow’s investigation into the Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse allegations, work that earned him a Pulitzer Prize and was turned into a podcast and bestselling book. The news release for this docuseries promises “new insights into this culture-shaking story.”

Crave also has “100 Foot Wave” (July 18, 10 p.m., HBO/Crave), about the 10-year journey of surfer Garrett McNamara to conquer a 100-foot wave in Nazare, Portugal.  

On the Netflix slate this week are Season 2 of popular coming of age drama “Never Have I Ever” (July 15), starring Mississauga’s Maitreyi Ramakrishnan; the new reality show “My Unorthodox Life” (July 14) about shoe designer Julia Haart and her escape from the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community she grew up in; and crime series “Heist” (July 14), which substitutes major thefts for the usual murders.

Amazon has the second season of the fashion competition series “Making the Cut” (July 16), starring “Project Runway” escapees Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn, and the sure to be popular horror movie sequel “A Quiet Place II” (July 13), written and directed by John Krasinski, and starring him and real-life wife Emily Blunt.

NOTE: The dates and times listed here are in Eastern Standard Time, and reflect information provided to me and cross-checked where possible, but it’s always best to check listings for your own area. The selection of programs reviewed reflects what I’m given access to by networks and streamers, whether reviews are embargoed, how many shows I have time to watch and my own personal taste.

Hunter smash, Blake smooch, Greg cry on ‘The Bachelorette’

July 6, 2021 /
Josh, James, Hunter, Brendan, Michael and Quartney take the field for a Bash Ball Battle
on “The Bachelorette.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Monday’s episode was a perfect representation of the dual personality of the “Bachelor/Bachelorette” franchise, a show that claims to be all about love but so often revels in the baser aspects of human nature.

On the one hand, we had men on the group date playing in a ridiculous made-up sporting event designed to stoke their aggression to the point of physical injury. On the other, we had the antithesis of toxic masculinity when, at the after-party, Michael told the other men about his late wife and his story moved Greg to tears.

That the two frontrunners shared such a lovely human moment made the ongoing aggressiveness of Hunter — who seemed to transfer his win-at-all-costs attitude from the bash ball field to the pursuit of Katie Thurston — all the more annoying. But I’m also aware that I’m supposed to feel this way, thanks to the master manipulators behind the producing curtain.

After all, “The Bachelorette” abhors a vacuum and somebody had to take the place of villain Thomas, sent packing last week, and of Karl before him. Hunter, come on down.

Hunter’s elevation to new public enemy No. 1 by the “Bachelorette” house un-fraternal activities committee was good news for one Canadian: it distracted the guys from hating on Blake Moynes, who made his official debut as a contestant and promptly got the week’s first one-on-one date.

And he made such a good impression on the date that he went from guy who came in late just to piss everyone else off to serious contender. It’s not like there isn’t a precedent for that. I’m sure you’ll recall that Nick Viall went from hated latecomer to runner-up on Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season.

Katie lays one on Blake Moynes as Laine Hardy provides background noise.

Of course it’s possible that Katie just wants to practise some sex positivity on Blake since they were practically rolling in literal hay while doing some horizontal smooching on the day part of the date, indicating some hot and heavy chemistry. But she did say at the end of the night — after yet another country singer got his however many minutes of fame while being completely ignored by the Bachelorette and her paramour — that she could picture herself “walking away with Blake at the end of this.”

The obligatory deep thoughts part of the date had Blake asking Katie why she was so open about being sex positive — a question that I’m sure he thought of all by himself and not because some producer wrote it on a cue card for him.

Katie told him about being date-raped 10 years ago, although she didn’t use that term, and how she developed an unhealthy relationship with sex; one she only began to turn around with the onset of the #MeToo movement.

Blake made the right expressions of sympathy and understanding. There was more conversation, but we didn’t get to hear it. Had to fit in the rose hand-over and the slow dancing and smooching.

On to the group date.

Katie, being a good sport, pretended that 12 dudes were going to play a game called “bash ball” in tribute to her volleyball-playing days and not because the producers wanted them to actually bash each other. More bizarrely, the training and game were overseen by two “athletic legends,” “Bachelorette”/”Bachelor in Paradise” alum Wells Adams and resident franchise photographer Franco Lacosta.

I don’t feel so bad now about not being able to identify the sport in last week’s promo since it was a combination of rugby and basketball — played in wrestling singlets?

Here’s Hunter during bash ball, not hitting anyone, though Quartney and Connor are down.

The segment was edited to make it look like it was all Hunter’s fault that the guys were thumping the crap out of each other, but it was Justin who hit Michael from behind, knocking the wind out of him, leading to the medics being called and prompting Katie to end the game. Mind you, Justin did feel “terrible” about it and apologized.

Hunter, on the other hand, said on camera, “Personally I love the aggression level, I’m not gonna lie. I was laying hits left and right, but I’m here for it. Yeah. I love that.”

During the after-party, Hunter was more focused on laying cards on the table, or more precisely photos of his children. He told Katie he’d never introduced his son and daughter to a woman but wanted her to be the first.

“That is like the sweetest picture I’ve ever seen,” Katie cooed about a photo of Hunter lifting his daughter into the air, and then she kissed him.

Cute as the photo might have been, it’s hard to believe there wasn’t some producer intervention involved in Hunter beating Michael and Greg to the date rose, particularly since there were already rumblings from Aaron and others about disliking him.

Poor Michael, besides being physically injured, had just endured marking his late wife’s birthday without his family for support, although he assured Katie he was comforted by the fact he and Katie had something special. Seems more rose-worthy to me.

And when Michael told the other men his story, Greg hugged Michael with tears streaming down his cheeks. “I had no idea and he walks around with a smile every single day,” Greg said later, still in tears. “And knowing how I’ve just worried about the smallest things, he just puts life into perspective.”

Michael’s exhortation not to waste the finite time available encouraged Greg to tell Katie he was “completely crazy” about her. “As hard as it is, you are so worth it. I just know in my heart that you are.”

But sure, give Hunter the date rose.

“I don’t know what she sees in him,” said a disappointed Greg. Honestly, that makes two of us.

Yes, I wish I had a photo of Katie and Andrew on their date too,
but you’ll have to make do with a picture from last week.

Next up, Andrew S, the faux Duke of Hastings, got a one-on-one date but left his fake British accent behind. For one thing, he was rattled by the fact Katie was leading him into the woods in the dark. When Katie put a plug into a socket I thought there was going to be a mini carnival like in Matt James’ season but no, the “Bachelorette” budget was only good enough from some icicle lights and pink envelopes containing silly suggestions like “Show me your signature dance moves” and “Imitate the sound of an animal in the wild.”

Amid the silliness there was time for smooching, which checked the chemistry box, and Katie and Andrew delved further into their shared backgrounds as children of divorce and, in Andrew’s case, an absentee father who did some jail time.

So they were agreed they wanted the opposite of a broken family, a “forever kind of love,” but there was a potential deal-breaker for Andrew as a Black man dating a white woman: would Katie feel the same way as his ex, who worried about having strangers ask questions about her biracial children?

“I think our love could be so beautiful and our children would be just as beautiful as that love,” Katie said. “All I want is to have a beautiful family regardless of how they look.”

That answer made Andrew happy. The next stop was the hot tub and a rose and “seeing” themselves falling in love with each other as opposed to actually doing it.

And then something really unexpected happened: the episode ended with a rose ceremony rather than a “To be continued” bumping it to the following week. Not that there wasn’t some drama.

Hunter once again wore the blame. With his rose on his lapel, he had visions of hometowns dancing in his head, not to mention the one-on-one he had yet to receive. He spirited Katie away for some stargazing, champagne and strawberries, and you know what happens when men with roses take time with the Bachelorette before the rose ceremony: the men without roses get pissed.

James interrupted Hunter’s monologue so he could tell Katie he had feelings for her (like, duh?) and she rewarded his boldness with a kiss. Then James, Aaron and Tre teamed up to berate Hunter for being greedy.

Hunter’s response? “Guess what? I’m focused on Katie, I don’t give a shit what they think.” Thanks Captain Obvious.

Katie gave roses to Greg, Aaron, Michael, Connor, James, Justin, Mike , Brendan and Tre, cutting Andrew M, Josh and Quartney loose. The other guys showed their appreciation for Quartney by applauding him as he left.

It seems a safe bet there will be more Hunter drama next week, although the end-of-episode promo was of the “coming this season” variety with clips of various people crying and being confused and Katie threatening to go home, so yes, “the drama continues.”

You can tune in Mondays at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo


Watchable the week of May 31, 2021

May 31, 2021 /

SHOW OF THE WEEK: Sweet Tooth (June 4, Netflix)

Christian Convery as Gus in “Sweet Tooth.” PHOTO CREDIT: Kirsty Griffin/Netflix

Up until I watched “Sweet Tooth” I wouldn’t have thought a dystopian drama could be heartwarming, but this series based on the Jeff Lemire comic books is one of the most moving shows I’ve seen.

It’s not that there isn’t darkness here; the story is, after all, set 10 years after a virus has laid waste to the world as we know it, so there’s death and fear, cruelty and ignorance, but also goodness and innocence and, yes, sweetness and hope.

Most of that is down to the title character, a boy named Gus who’s part human and part deer, nicknamed Sweet Tooth for his love of candy. And he’s not the only hybrid, the term for children who began to be born with the physical features of animals at the same time the virus emerged. But Gus was raised in isolation so, when he finally emerges into what’s left of the world, he’s a naif: able to fend for himself in a practical sense but with no real idea of just how dangerous humans can be.

His protector and his teacher in that regard, reluctantly so, is a jaded ex-football player named Tommy Jepperd (Nonso Anozie) who has just enough humanity left in him not to turn his back on Gus.

There are others who seek to protect the hybrids, including an orphaned young woman who calls herself Bear (Stefania LaVie Owen) and Aimee (Dania Ramirez), a former therapist who has set up a sanctuary for hybrids at an abandoned zoo. But they’re up against a paramilitary force known as the Last Men who are intent on wiping out the hybrids, whom some blame for causing the virus.

The other key character is Dr. Singh (Adeel Akhtar), whose only concern is keeping his sick wife alive and her condition hidden from nosy and potentially murderous neighbours.

These character strands are pursued separately at first, but it’s obvious they’ll eventually be pulled into Gus’s orbit, which is a good thing. The series is at its best whenever Gus is onscreen. He is truly the heart of the story, and the casting gods were smiling on the production team (which includes actor Robert Downey Jr. and his wife Susan as executive producers, and Jim Mickle as showrunner and director) when they found Christian Convery to play him.

The young Canadian actor perfectly embodies Gus’s guileless innocence and his persistent faith that things will work out, even when everything around him suggests otherwise.

On the face of it, a postapocalyptic drama might not seem like the optimal entertainment for a pandemic-weary world, but “Sweet Tooth” reminds us of the human capacity for good even at the worst of times.

Netflix also has Season 2 of “Feel Good,” debuting May 28, the dramedy in which Canadian comedian Mae Martin plays a fictionalized version of herself. As the season begins, Mae returns to Canada and to rehab, leaving George (Charlotte Ritchie) behind in London.

Tulsa: The Fire and the Forgotten (May 31, 9 p.m., PBS)

Forensic archeologists excavate a suspected mass grave at Tulsa’s Oaklawn Cemetery in October 2020 in “Tulsa: The Fire and the Forgotten.” PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy Jonathan Silvers/Saybrook Productions

Monday is Memorial Day in the U.S., which honours that country’s military. It’s also the 100th anniversary of the Tulsa Race Massacre, a confluence that lends a certain irony given that members of the National Guard were reportedly present when a white mob razed a Black neighbourhood in Tulsa, Oklahoma, from May 31 to June 1, 1921, murdering as many as 300 Black citizens, leaving thousands more homeless.

If you don’t know anything about the massacre, you’re not alone. This doc makes the point that even some Tulsa residents didn’t know about it until fairly recently. I personally had never heard of it before viewing the 2019 fantasy series “Watchmen.” 

But this film, directed by Jonathan Silvers and produced by Washington Post reporter DeNeen L. Brown, both recounts the history of the atrocity and draws a line from it to ongoing anti-Black racism, not just physical violence but mental, emotional and economic oppression of Black communities.

At the time, Tulsa’s Greenwood area was a thriving neighbourhood, known as the Black Wall Street for its wealth. In just 16 hours more than 35 square blocks were destroyed, a tragedy that was blamed on its victims. 

It began after a young Black man was falsely accused of assaulting a white woman in an elevator and other Black men went to the city’s jail, some with guns, to protect him from being lynched by the crowd of white men that had gathered. After a melee broke out and the Black men fled back to Greenwood, the attack began. 

The white mob was unimpeded by the city’s police, some of them even deputized by the force. None of those men, some of whom can be seen proudly posing in photographs, were ever held accountable.

And the story of what’s called one of the worst incidents of racial violence in U.S. history is still being written: the legal fight for reparations to survivors and descendants of victims is ongoing; and this summer, bodies that might belong to massacre victims will be exhumed from a mass grave in a city cemetery. 

Girls5eva (June 3, 9 p.m., W Network)

Paula Pell, Sara Bareilles, Renée Elise Goldsberry and Busy Philipps in “Girls5eva.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Heidi Gutman/Peacock)

Think of “Girls5eva” as the TV equivalent of a pop song: fun, a little frothy and catchy enough to get stuck in your head.

The latest from executive producers Tina Fey and Robert Carlock (“30 Rock”), created by Meredith Scardino, a writer on Fey’s and Carlock’s “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” “Girls5eva” lampoons 1990s and early 2000s girl groups, and the sexism and commercialism surrounding them. 

The group of the title is sort of a New York version of the Spice Girls . . . if the Spice Girls faded into obscurity after one hit.

When hip-hop star Lil Stinker (Jeremiah Craft) samples that hit, “Famous 5eva” (cuz 4eva’s too short), the four surviving “girls” get booked to back Stinker on “The Tonight Show,” leading to dreams of renewed stardom.

Easier said than done, of course, for a group of 40somethings in an industry in which, as their sleazy former manager Larry (Jonathan Hadary) says, “For ladies, 35 is checkout time. That’s a quote from our greatest president.” (The point is made in an even  funnier way by legendary producer Alf Musik, played by Stephen Colbert, who writes Girls5Eva a song called “Invisible Woman.”)

But “chill one” Dawn (Sara Bareilles), “hot one” Summer (Busy Philipps), “fierce one” Wickie (Renee Elise Goldsberry) and gay one Gloria (Paula Pell) persevere through others’ indifference and their own self-doubt, learning to write their own songs (with the help of a fantasy Dolly Parton, played by Fey) and to think outside the boxes they were put in by the music biz.

The first season culminates in a snatched moment of glory that is preposterous, predictable and emotionally satisfying all at once.

It took me a few episodes to warm up to “Girls5eva” but, once I did, I was fully invested in the group making good, even narcissistic Wickie (Goldsberry), who gets the best lines.

Speaking of lines, the jokes fly by fast so best pay attention. Same goes for the clever lyrics of the songs, written mainly by Scardino and composer Jeff Richmond, with real life singer/songwriter Bareilles pitching in on a couple of them. (My favourite, though it’s not a Girls5eva tune, is “New York Lonely Boy,” which pokes fun at Gen X parents and their fedora-wearing, sushi-eating only children: “The Strand is his Disneyland.”)

“Girls5eva” isn’t particularly deep or envelope-pushing but, like an earworm, it doesn’t have to be to grab your attention.

Short Takes

Mary Galloway and Kaitlyn Yott as Abe and Daka in “Querencia.” PHOTO CREDIT: APTN lumi

Querencia (June 1, 11 p.m., APTN lumi)

This is the first original series for APTN lumi, the streaming service of the Aboriginal Peoples Television Network. It’s about the relationship between two Indigenous queer women, winningly played by series creator and director Mary Galloway and Kaitlyn Yott. Daka (Yott) has come to Vancouver to try her luck as a dancer, despite her misgivings and those of her family. Abe (Galloway), a musician, has been on her own for a while and, unlike Yott, is out of touch with her Indigenous traditions. A misunderstanding on the part of Daka’s new roommate brings them together, even though Daka has previously identified as straight, and a spark is struck. The series, a clear-eyed and compassionate look at two young women growing into the people they want to be, will be part of the Inside Out Festival, screening virtually beginning June 2 at noon. There will also be a premiere event June 1 hosted by imagineNATIVE with musical performances and a Q&A.

Ballerina Boys (June 4, 9 p.m., PBS)

Josh Thake, left, and Duane Gosa perform with Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo.
PHOTO CREDIT: Laura Nespola/Courtesy of Merrywidow Films LLC

Anything that brings together the art forms of ballet and drag seems like a good thing to me, which would seem to be proven by the fact Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo has been in existence for some 47 years. This documentary, a Pride Month offering from PBS’s “American Masters,” makes it clear that behind the comedic aspect of men in tutus with faux Russian names there is serious discipline and respect for ballet tradition. Started in New York in the years following the Stonewall riots as “kind of a lark,” in the words of co-founder Peter Anastos, the Trocks grew into a genuine ballet company, one that tours all over the world when it’s not locked down. Despite early disapproval by what Anastos calls “the muckety muck dance establishment,” the company persevered, quite a feat in the ’90s when it lost half its dancers to AIDS. It brings ballet to audiences who wouldn’t know a plie from a pirouette, and to places that aren’t exactly gay-friendly. And it’s clear the dancers love what they do, despite the pain of pointe shoes; they talk in the doc about how performing in drag makes them feel like themselves. The film ends fittingly with a 2019 performance in Central Park of George Balanchine’s “Stars and Stripes” commemorating the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

Odds and Ends

I didn’t get an advance look at “Lisey’s Story” (June 4), the Apple TV Plus series that Stephen King adapted from his own novel, although reviews I’ve read suggest that’s not a bad thing. You’ll have to judge for yourself. The cast is certainly top notch, including Julianne Moore, Clive Owen, Joan Allen and Jennifer Jason Leigh.

Amazon debuts “Dom” (June 4), a crime series based in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and based on a true story about a man who’s part of the drug trade and his police officer father.

The Smithsonian Channel has the original series “Searching for Secrets” (June 6), which digs into hidden history in “the world’s most iconic cities.” The list includes New York, London, San Francisco, Berlin, Paris and Singapore. Sorry Toronto.

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