Tag: The Bachelor (Page 1 of 2)

Rachel and Gabby let Clayton off the hook and they’ll regret it

March 15, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Host Jesse Palmer with “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” alumni Michelle Young, Nick Viall and Clare Crawley on Part 1 of the live “Bachelor” finale. PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC

Clayton Echard might not get engaged — to be honest, I hope he doesn’t — Susie, Rachel and Gabby might all feel like chumps but hey, “The Bachelor” was the No. 1 trending topic worldwide Monday night, so at least ABC and Warner Bros. are getting their happy ending.

It’s pretty gross when you think about it. People were dying in Ukraine at the same time that millions of us were tuned into the equivalent of emotional torture porn on a reality show.

I’m not being holier than thou. I was watching and tweeting right along with everyone else, and now I’m writing about it.

This whole hideous season is coming down to a hideous two-part finale —the second half of “the most shocking finale in ‘Bachelor’ history” goes down tonight — and my guess would be that, if anything, it’s just emboldened the people who put the show together.

We hated that they chose Clayton as Bachelor; we hated “the Shanae Show”; we hated the way Clayton talked to Susie last week, but all of that just fuelled the show’s clout, so is it any surprise that Jesse sounded positively gleeful when he teased “the rose ceremony from hell” as the episode started?

And it was hellish.

Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia before Clayton dropped his bomb.

For some unfathomable reason, Clayton decided that after his relationship with Susie blew up — since she couldn’t accept the fact he had sex with both Rachel and Gabby, and had also told both that he loved them — he might as well be “1,000 per cent transparent” with the two who were still standing.

When Rachel and Gabby showed up for the rose ceremony, in the dramatic Harpa concert hall in Reykjavik, Iceland, Clayton said the words that have been teased all season long: “I am in love with both of you and I also was intimate with both of you.”

Stunned, Rachel and Gabby walked off in different directions. Rachel sat on some steps and sobbed, her anguish echoing through the hall, wiping her eyes so much she wiped the makeup right off her face. “I’ve never felt pain like this before,” she said.

Gabby had a cry too, and came back with questions for Clayton and also some observations, and they were really good ones.

Like, for instance, exploring relationships fully “is not definitively loving.”

Also, after Clayton told her he meant everything he said to her, “but how do you, like, back that up?”

“Because ultimately, like, whoever I pick I love the most,” Clayton said.

It’s a good thing Gabby hadn’t heard Clayton tell Susie that he loved her the most or her head would have exploded.

“I don’t think you just tell multiple women you love them thinking there would be no consequences,” Gabby said in her voice-over. Exactly! “For him saying the woman I walk out with is the woman I love the most, like wrong fucking answer.

“I don’t want to be loved the most, I just want to be loved for who I am.”

Speaking of love, I don’t think I have loved Gabby more than I did at that moment.

Rachel was also struggling to understand how Clayton could love three people at once but, given how head over heels she was for him, it wasn’t a surprise when, as the rose ceremony got back on track, she accepted the first flower from him without recrimination.

Rachel expresses her shock as Clayton walks Gabby out behind her.

But Gabby said no and I was so pleased for her. It’s too bad she didn’t just hightail it out of there. But she let Clayton talk to her and he somehow talked her into staying.

I have to pause here to defer to former Bachelor Nick Viall (yeah, I know), who was hauled onstage along with former Bachelorettes Michelle Young and Clare Crawley to comment on the spectacle unfolding. Nick said Clayton was “a guy focused on finding love for himself and not focused on finding love with someone else.” Also, “he never took the time to consider the position of power he’s in as the Bachelor.” Spot on Nick, spot on.

Back at the Harpa, Rachel was still trying to digest that fact that she would end up with Clayton by default rather than by design when Clayton and Gabby came back.

Gabby and Rachel share a moment of support.

And this is the moment that I will cling to as I watch the rest of this train wreck: Gabby walked up to Rachel, told her “I’m sorry to make you wait,” and they hugged, and Rachel asked Gabby if she was OK and rubbed her shoulder.

Clayton does not deserve either of these women, which made it hard to watch as each of them met his family. Clayton’s family seems perfectly nice, but it was tough to see Gabby and Rachel get strung along a little bit farther.

Furthermore, his dad Brian and mom Kelly were as unimpressed with him telling three women he loved them as everyone else.

“I don’t know how you could be in love with three people,” said Kelly.

“You have to understand, they don’t want to be second or third, they want to be first. They have a right to be upset with you,” said Brian.

“You have screwed the pooch, in my opinion.”

Kelly added that Gabby, who they were about to meet, seemed like a consolation prize. “I don’t know if the love of your life has gone.”

Hold that thought.

These are the faces of parents whose son has just told them he loves three women.

Things went as well as can be expected when the man who’s just ripped your heart out and stomped on it a little takes you to meet his family.

Alas, Gabby told Kelly she still trusted in her relationship with Clayton. “I’ve never met anyone as genuine and open-hearted as him.”

I guess we can agree on the open-hearted part, all things considered; too open-hearted.

Rachel, meanwhile, told Kelly straight up that Clayton was perfect for her. And she told Brian she’d never been in love “the way I am with him.”

So Mama and Papa Echard were all in on whichever one Clayton chose as their new daughter-in-law. And then came the twist that practically had Jesse peeing his pants as he introduced the next segment.

CLAYTON COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT SUSIE!

“I’ve just realized my heart, where it’s at,” Clayton told his folks. “Not to disregard what I have with Rachel and what I have with Gabby. It’s so special what I have with those women. It just was a little bit more special with Susie.”

THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU KEEP YOUR LIPS ZIPPED WITH GABBY AND RACHEL AND KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS?

Brian and Kelly did their best to convince Clayton the Susie ship had sailed, but along came Jesse to helpfully tell Clayton that Susie was still in Iceland. Because of course she was.

Host Jesse Palmer drops in on Clayton, his folks and his brothers.

And to add insult to injury, back in the studio, Jesse brought Rodney Mathews onstage, alongside Kaitlyn Bristowe and Cassie Randolph, the man who should have been Bachelor. Rodney is very much Team Clayton, but he did say that Clayton was “living in the moment a little too much.” Ya think?

I don’t believe “Bachelor” producers have yet figured out a way to infiltrate cast members’ brains and control their feelings, although it would not at all surprise me to hear they’d been using subliminal messaging to imprint the idea of falling in love with three women on Clayton.

Whether they knew or merely hoped he was going to want to reconcile with Susie, keeping her in Iceland instead of letting her go home was all part of the nefarious plan.

Since Jesse keeps saying he doesn’t know what happens, it seems likely Clayton and Susie aren’t going to kiss, make up and get engaged — maybe they agree to keep dating a la Cassie and Colton Underwood (and we all know how that turned out). It does seem clear that Rachel and Gabby are going to be discarded, which puts the lie to Clayton’s protestations of love for them.

Part 2 of this mess airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Clayton bonks his way to a breakup on ‘The Bachelor’

March 9, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Final three Susie Evans, Rachel Recchia and Gabby Windey ponder their fates on “The Bachelor.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos screen grabs

Monday’s fantasy suites episode of “The Bachelor” was like waiting for the train wreck that you knew was coming and, when it happened, it was worse than you thought it was going to be.

Not only did Clayton Echard tell his final three he was in love or falling in love with each of them, he also tried to have sex with all three of them. And when Susie foiled his plan by refusing to take Rachel’s and Gabby’s sloppy seconds (and thirds) Clayton turned into an entitled jerk right before our eyes.

As the episode ended, Susie was gone and distress was in store for Rachel and Gabby. We’ve known since before the season even started that Clayton was going to confess to having sex with both of them and, judging from the promos, their reactions to that are exactly what you’d imagine them to be.

Of course, we can’t pretend all the blame for Monday’s mess lies with Clayton.

It’s just too much of a coincidence that the one woman for whom Clayton having sex with someone else would be a deal breaker ended up getting the last of the three fantasy suite dates. I mean, I doubt producers stood over the beds urging Clayton and Rachel and Gabby to fornicate, but it was clearly what they hoped would happen.

Having the women stay together in the same suite, watching each other come back from spending the night with the same guy — particularly after Gabby said she was sorry “in advance” — was another nice bit of psychological manipulation.

And was it all Clayton’s idea to spread the L-word around so indiscriminately? Who knows?

The episode started with Clayton flying to Iceland, saying in his voice-over that he was falling in love with all of the women and might already be in love with Susie.

Obviously, a Bachelor claiming to be falling for multiple women is nothing new. It’s part of the Faustian bargain the leads make: they pretend to be racked with indecision about who to choose until the morning of the proposal.

But telling more than one woman you love them? Ask Ben Higgins and Arie Luyendyk Jr. how well that turned out.

I’ve always figured it was just play-acting, that the Bachelors knew weeks in advance whom they wanted to end up with. And if that was the case you would assume they wouldn’t go sampling the wares, so to speak, of the other two finalists.

So did Clayton really not know? Or is he just a horny guy who figured he’d never again get a free pass to sleep with multiple women?

Rachel and Clayton 400 feet beneath the surface of an inactive volcano.

His first date — a descent into an inactive volcano — was with Rachel. To be honest, I would have figured that for lust rather than love, given how incapable they’ve been of keeping their hands and lips off each other. But Clayton told Rachel he was falling in love with her at dinner. Then, after their night in the boom boom room, er, fantasy suite, he yelled “I love you too, Rachel!” as she bid him farewell from the balcony.

One down.

Gabby and Clayton spent the night in a yurt.

Next up was Gabby and they took a dune-buggy ride on a beach. Before checking into a yurt with floor-to-ceiling windows — let’s hope there were curtains to pull before they got busy — Clayton told Gabby he was falling in love with her and repeated it the next morning.

Two down.

Susie had been freaking out pretty much the whole episode, obsessing about what Clayton might be doing while alone with Rachel and Gabby. The producers even juxtaposed audio of her saying she was “spiralling emotionally” with video of her walking down a spiral staircase, because they just couldn’t help themselves.

“If I find out he’s falling in love with other women or he had become physically intimate with another woman, that would be devastating,” she said.

Clayton and Susie at the spa before the wheels came off.

So we had a pretty good idea of what was coming, even though the early part of the date, at the Sky Lagoon spa, went really well.

Clayton said his love for Susie was “on another level” and, at dinner, he told her how he felt.

Susie said she adored him in return, but she had “expectations I’m not willing to let go of.”

“Do you feel that same way with somebody else or have you, like, slept with another woman?” If so, “I think it would be impossible to move forward toward an engagement.”

The answer to both her questions was yes, but Clayton told Susie he was “the most in love” with her, which didn’t help.

He wanted them to go to the fantasy suite to talk things through. Susie said she was confused and walked away from the table.

By the time she came back to talk some more, Clayton Jekyll had turned into Mr. Hyde.

Susie said she felt awful and like she’d fucked everything up. Clayton just shook his head and told her she had “invalidated everything that we had.” If she really cared about him, she would try to work through it. And if sex with other women was a deal breaker, she should have told him that before fantasy suites, he said.

“I don’t even know who I’m looking at anymore,” Clayton told her coldly. “You just dropped a bombshell on me. I don’t agree with it at all how you went about this. I think it’s BS. And we’re done.”

Clayton shows Susie the door, literally.

Susie kept trying to apologize as he walked her to the waiting SUV. In fact, he walked ahead of her, held the door as if she couldn’t get in the car fast enough, and told her he was going to find somebody who “will fight for me as much as I fight for them. You’re not that person.”

Like wow. There’s a lot to unpack there, as the saying goes.

I understand that sex is implied in the idea of fantasy suites (although plenty of Bachelors and Bachelorettes claim they just talked in theirs) and, with that in mind, ideally Susie would have shared her feelings about Clayton having multiple partners earlier.

But it wasn’t out of line for her to believe that if Clayton really wanted to be with her he wouldn’t mess around with someone else. She was well within her rights to set boundaries for herself that she would not cross. And Clayton acted like an asshole when he shifted all the blame for the relationship imploding onto her.

I suspect he’s going to find out next week that Rachel and Gabby don’t want to fight for him either.

In which case, what the hell have we wasted nine weeks of our lives for?

You can watch next week’s two-part finale Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

With Shanae gone, Mara picks up the villain torch on The Bachelor

February 15, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Monday’s episode of “The Bachelor” was about as hard to swallow as the fish eyes and other unpalatable things eaten on the group date. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos screen grabs unless otherwise indicated

Is it possible for a person to be possessed by the spirit of someone who’s still alive?

I’m just asking because no sooner had Shanae been kicked off “The Bachelor” — finally! — then Mara went on a jealousy and insecurity rampage that culminated in her trying to get rid of Sarah.

This is all part of the evil producer plan, of course: stoke Mara’s self-doubt by ensuring she gets the very last rose at the rose ceremony, then send the woman she’s most threatened by on a second one-on-one date while Mara is stuck in group date purgatory. Presto chango, a new villain!

It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if it turned out that Mara — perhaps realizing her chances of getting a one-on-one were about as good as the women ceasing to over-pronounce the “t” in Clayton — signed up for the villain edit.

And Clayton continues to be the perfect producer stooge, dutifully confronting Sarah with Mara’s accusation that she wasn’t ready to get engaged, feigning confusion, then stepping away “to think this through,” leaving Sarah a sobbing mess. That doesn’t seem like something you would do to someone you claim to see a future with but, at this stage, it appears that when the producers say “Jump!” Clayton doesn’t even ask how high; he just leaps.

The women said that Clayton sending Shanae home showed he’s not a bad judge of character after all. Too bad viewers can’t share that perspective.

If anything, the result of the two-on-one between Shanae and Genevieve showed that Clayton has been playing the game all along.

Genevieve Parisi and Shanae Ankney wait for Clayton Echard to give one of them the rose.

Consider that up until this point Clayton has appeared to swallow all of Shanae’s whoppers hook, line and sinker. And now, suddenly, he draws the line?

Shanae did what she’s done all along: lied (she claimed to have overheard Genevieve saying she wanted to go home the night before) and faked emotion (tearing up because she’d been single for five years and, at 29, had never been in love). And then she exulted at pulling one over on Clayton: “Getting this rose tonight is gonna feel better than sex.”

Genevieve appeared to cry real tears while basically apologizing to Clayton for not being vulnerable enough. Ugh.

Clayton asked Genevieve point blank, with Shanae sitting there, “Are you an actress” — Shanae’s word — “and have you been lying to me?” A startled Genevieve said no and then asked Clayton why he’d ask her that.

Instead of answering, he walked away for a little think, no doubt counting down the minutes until he was allowed to stop pretending, and go back and hand out the rose, which he said was “going to somebody who helped me see the truth in all of this.”

“So Shanae, I’m just, I’m so sorry, but I cannot find it in my heart to give you this rose.”

And just like that, Shanae’s five-week reign of terror came to an end. I have to be honest, it felt way longer.

“Fuck Clayton. I never want to see him again,” Shanae said, which sums up how viewers feel about her. I’m sure more than one member of Bachelor Nation was popping Champagne along with Shanae’s fellow contestants.

With Shanae gone, all seemed to be sweetness and light at the cocktail party on rose ceremony night. Clayton was sucking face with his favourites Sarah and Rachel. He even kissed Hunter. But Mara, an entrepreneur from New Jersey, was fretting that Clayton didn’t know what a “keeper” she was. She only got about three minutes with him and spent that time force-feeding him what looked like cold poutine.

Mara Agrait was ready to fall in love in Croatia, come hell or high water.

“I am a grown ass woman. I know what I have to offer and I know who I am, and I came here to find love,” she ranted before breaking down in tears.

Translation: I am 32 years old. I am ready to get married and start churning out little Echards. Why does Clayton like women who are younger than me?

Listen, nothing against someone who really wants to be coupled up, but if Mara is as “strong, powerful, passionate, independent” as she claims, perhaps she could ratchet down the desperation.

She finally got her rose after Sarah, Serene, Susie, Teddi and Eliza had got theirs, with Marlena and Hunter sent home.

And then it was time for Clayton and his chosen nine, including Rachel, Gabby and Genevieve, to leave Toronto and head to Hvar, Croatia, where Mara’s complaining continued apace.

When Teddi got the first one-on-one — and come on, she was the first impression rose winner; she should have got one way before now — Mara sniped that some of the women were more girlfriend than wife material and that Clayton was doing himself a “disservice” by not availing himself of Mara’s awesomeness.

Anyway, Teddi and Clayton were off on the ever popular “let’s walk around this town and do the most cheesy, touristy things possible” date, followed by the standard true confessions dinner.

Clayton and Teddi Wright, but not in Croatia, because apparently ABC
couldn’t find any photographers in Croatia. PHOTO CREDIT: John Fleenor/ABC

Teddi told Clayton that she was — gasp! — a virgin and Clayton’s response was a master class in awkwardness. First he told her that he “would have never known” since there was physical attraction between them. Then he hastened to add that their connection was more emotional. And then he asked, “Have you been in love since that point?”

First off, what point? Secondly, since Teddi said she was saving herself until the first time she was in love, clearly she had never been in love because, if she had, she wouldn’t be a virgin.

Clayton blathered about how he wanted Teddi to be “fully vulnerable” — and is there a double entendre in there somewhere? — and Teddi said she trusted Clayton and felt safe with him.

He gave her the rose and they kissed just like people who aren’t virgins do, and Teddi said she could see herself falling in love with Clayton and best not to let your mind go there.

In the meantime, when Mara found out she was on the group date along with Serene, Rachel, Susie, Gabby, Eliza and Genevieve, and that 23-year-old Sarah was getting a second one-on-one, she bemoaned Clayton “going for the youngest girl in the house, who I couldn’t imagine being ready to get engaged.”

And look, I’m a lot older than Mara, but this a bullshit, ageist argument. Chronological age is not a guarantee of readiness for anything. My mother got married at 18 and she’ll be celebrating her 62nd wedding anniversary this year. Besides, the most immature woman on the show so far has been Shanae at 29.

But Mara put on her game face during the group date, which involved the women donning medieval armour-type outfits and being led through challenges by a female knight named Katarina (at least I think that’s how it’s spelled).

Mara figured she had the competition in the bag because she out-muscled Rachel in the strength challenge; chowed down on pig’s liver and cow’s stomach and fish eyes and other, um, delicacies; and, as a sign of her devotion to Clayton, recited a poem that included the lines “I cook and clean and I’m great in bed/Come on Clayton, use your head.”

Personally, I preferred Genevieve’s “I endured an epic war against the evil shrimp dragon.”

In any event, Serene was declared to have the virtues of a true knight, which meant she got to wear a cape and smooch Clayton.

At the after-party, Mara complained to Clayton that she’d been “vulnerable, sweet, cute, flirty” but still hadn’t got a one-on-one. Furthermore, Clayton was wasting his time on younger women like Sarah, one of whom Mara alleged — OK, she meant Sarah — had said she couldn’t picture herself engaged after just a couple of months.

But Mara speaking her “truth” was no match for Rachel telling Clayton she was falling for him, so no date rose for Mara.

Susie Evans in “beast” mode ahead of her impromptu clock tower date with Clayton.

Mara was miffed, so when Clayton got an unsigned card saying “Meet me at the clock tower,” it seemed like Mara might have more to say. (Some people even speculated it was Shanae taking another kick at the can.) It was just Susie, who became the second woman to tell Clayton she was falling in love with him.

And then, finally, it was time to emotionally torture Sarah.

After first having a staged pep talk with host Jesse Palmer about his “biggest fear” potentially coming true, Clayton dropped the bomb on Sarah that she’d been called out for possibly not being ready to get engaged and thus, he was “confused” and “scared.”

Sarah Hamrick before Clayton dropped Mara’s “truth” bomb on her.

Sarah began to cry and to strenuously object, saying she absolutely wanted to get engaged to Clayton. And then Clayton left her there at the table, bereft, to step away to think, which was obviously a bit of producer manipulation.

In the meantime, Sarah cried her eyes out. She was still crying when Clayton came back to the table, telling him she was afraid to lose him over a “blatant lie.”

Well, of course, she wasn’t going to lose him. It was just some bullshit drama. Sure enough, Clayton told Sarah that he was sure she was there for him and “you want what I’m after.” Sarah cried on his shoulder after he gave her the damn rose.

Cue Sarah, mad as hell, heading back to the hotel suite to confront the “liar” and the words “To be continued” on the screen. So there’s more Mara and Sarah drama ahead next week and is this bloody season over yet?

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Shanae is tackled but not ousted as the Bachelor drama continues

February 1, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Mara tackles Jill on the group date, a good approximation for how viewers feel after another punishing episode of “The Bachelor.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Felicia Graham/ABC

Houston, we have a problem.

Not only did Bachelor Clayton Echard not send Shanae Ankney home at Monday’s rose ceremony, which was expected, he continued to be oblivious to the BS she was laying down throughout the episode.

After the contestants moved on to Houston, Texas, two more women came forward to tell Clayton that Shanae couldn’t be trusted. And what did he do? Fell for more of Shanae’s nonsense — hook, line and sinker.

Judging by the way Clayton hoisted Shanae up onto a bar so he could apply suction to her mouth, with hand planted on her booty, we could be dealing with a simple case of thinking-with-his-dick-itis.

But that doesn’t negate the fact that Bachelor Nation feels like it’s taken a few of Teddi’s football tackles after a third week of pointless drama revolving around one insecure, vindictive contestant.

I don’t want to call Clayton names or insult his intelligence, but dude, what were you thinking?

It’s one thing to have the mean girl stuff happen where you can’t see it, which was the defence Clayton mounted on a recent episode of the “Bachelor Happy Hour” podcast, but Shanae’s nastiness was on display during a sit-down between her and Elizabeth and Clayton and, not only did Clayton not see it, he turtled.

Decided he didn’t want to deal with the conflict, walked away, cancelled the cocktail party, and then gave a rose to Shanae and sent Elizabeth home, to the horror of the other 14 women who remained.

Clayton’s discomfort is written all over his face as Shanae and Elizabeth debate.

I mean seriously: it seemed like a good idea to give a rose to somebody who spent several minutes whining that she was being bullied because nobody wanted the stupid plate of shrimp she brought out to the hot tub?

As Elizabeth sensibly pointed out, “Why was that my responsibility?”

It wasn’t, it isn’t, regardless of whether she was in the hot tub that day or not. And for the record, Elizabeth was in the hot tub, not upstairs having a shower as she told Clayton, but it doesn’t bloody matter! It’s a tempest in a teapot, or in a shrimp pan, if you will.

As Jill said, “I lost brain cells because I listened to Shrimpgate” and Jill is all of us.

That Shanae walked back into the mansion carrying a plate of — you guessed it — shrimp was the producers messing with us. Let’s move on.

So Elizabeth and Kira and Melina got sent home, and we were forced to watch Shanae gloat about how she won and nobody should fuck with her, and the next day everybody flew to Houston. And then we had a pointless interlude where a man named Clarence, one of Clayton’s football friends, came to visit Clayton in his hotel suite just to further drill into our heads that Clayton wants a family.

Because Clarence has a wife and a child, he is a shining exemplar of Bachelor #goals. Pssst, did you know Clayton wants kids, y’all?

Mind you, we knew we were in trouble because Clayton told Clarence that he expected to be hung up on two, “maybe three, possibly four women” at the end of this. Which I guess explains all the promos about him telling three women he’s in love with them.

Will Rachel be one of those three? It seemed like a possibility after their one-on-one date.

Rachel and Clayton only have eyes for each other on their one-on-one date.

They went horseback riding; they dropped in on some poor family and ate their barbecue; they whispered — literally whispered — sweet nothings to each other on a picturesque dock.

At dinner, there was a minor fakeout when Clayton said he was confused and had questions for Rachel, but what he wanted to know was how “a woman as beautiful as you with this badass job” ended up on “The Bachelor.”

The badass job was the short answer. Rachel, who’s a flight instructor and a pilot, described being in a relationship with a man who didn’t support her career. She told Clayton she wants to get married and have kids, but she also wants to keep flying.

He assured her he would “never, ever hold you back from doing something that you love.”

After that they got serenaded by — what else? — a country band called Restless Road, and Clayton gave Rachel the rose and they kissed a lot, and he told her, “I’ll never dim your light.”

That’s kind of sweet. It’s the kind of thing that might give me the warm fuzzies if it wasn’t for the fact I can’t get excited about seeing someone as lovely as Rachel end up with a man who got bamboozled by Shanae.

Come to think of it, can I steal the name of that band to describe this season?

Time for the group date, but first Sierra, Genevieve and Gabby had a conversation in the hotel suite in which Sierra suggested the group date contestants warn Clayton about Shanae’s character, or lack thereof, in an effort to get her sent home. Of course, Shanae, who was napping in her room — a mark of a true villain as Corinne Olympios can attest — overheard them and I have questions.

Did they not realize that Shanae was within earshot? Why didn’t they whisper? It’s just so convenient.

And then, fancy that, the group date was a tackle football game, because the franchise is an equal opportunity provider of chances for contestants to get violent.

Sarah, Eliza, Teddi, Marlena, Jill, Susie, Mara, Sierra, Hunter, Lyndsey, Genevieve, Gabby and Shanae were split into two teams, coached by Houston Texans Jonathan Greenard and Kamu Grugier-Hill.

It was the Purple Punishers vs Shrimp Stampede in the Bachelor Bowl.

Shanae was on the — wait for it — Shrimp Stampede team, but the Purple Punishers had Olympian Marlena to run touchdowns and also an ace tackler in Teddi, so they beat the shrimps 21-0. And that meant they won extra time with Clayton at the after party.

(As an aside, the “Bachelor Bowl” commentary from host Jesse Palmer and sports anchor Hannah Storm made me miss the late Fred Willard, who used to team up with Chris Harrison, but I will give Jesse credit for one good line about Jill, “an architectural historian, also a vegan, Hannah, and she just ate grass.”)

At the after-party, Sierra put Operation Sink Shanae into effect. Both she and Genevieve told Clayton that Shanae wasn’t to be trusted. “We believe that if you have the full story you wouldn’t want somebody like that to be your wife,” Sierra told him, while Genevieve said, “She just can’t get along and she’s lied and she can’t apologize for what she’s done.”

Clayton was frustrated that the Shanae drama hadn’t been squelched and “Shanae seems to be involved in all the conflict.”

I believe the correct expression would be “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” But Clayton was more interested in the sparks generated when he and Shanae put their lips together.

He halfheartedly confronted Shanae when she crashed the after party — because of course she did — but she didn’t even have to lie this time to wriggle off the hook, telling him how she’d overheard Gabby, Genevieve and Sierra plotting against her.

After Clayton’s and Shanae’s smooch sesh, she walked over to where the other women were sitting, said, “Genevieve and Sierra, keep my name out of your fucking mouths,” picked up the Bachelor Bowl trophy, threw it in some bushes and stormed off.

“It’s Shanae Show, not The Bachelor,” smirked Shanae. And she’s absolutely right, it is, and it’s ruining what was already shaping up to be a lacklustre season. How much longer will we have to put up with her is the question.

There was no “to be continued,” but the promo for next week showed a two-on-one date with Shanae and Genevieve. Confusingly, the promo for later in the season also showed both Shanae and Genevieve. Surely, Clayton won’t go on a two-on-one and keep both the women.

We’ll find out next week. It airs Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

‘The Bachelor’ hits a new low as woman mocks another’s ADHD

January 11, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Clayton Echard on the group date that hatched the season’s first villain.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs John Fleenor/ABC

Can we stop pretending that “The Bachelor” has anything to do with helping people find love?

That some of the franchise’s stars form lasting relationships is down to luck and their own ability to make connections. Sure, the show throws people together, but its abiding interest is in manufacturing as much drama as possible to attract viewers, advertising dollars and social media mentions.

What that means for viewers is that we’re subjected to toxic spectacles like Monday night’s, in which one contestant bullied and belittled another, making fun of her medical condition.

I guess the only saving grace is that the contestant in question, Ohio recruiter Shanae Ankney, was picking on another white woman, Colorado real estate adviser Elizabeth Corrigan, unlike the last crappy Bachelor season when the white bullies targeted women of colour. (Which doesn’t negate the fact that all the focus on Shanae and the other blond villain, Cassidy Timbrooks, diverted attention from contestants of colour.)

It would be easy to lay all the blame on Shanae, who truly acted like a horrible human, but let’s not pretend the people who cast her were ignorant of her villain potential or that that’s not exactly the reason she made the cut.

I suspect she’ll get through the next rose ceremony, which we won’t see for at least two weeks, since Bachelor Clayton Echard’s ability to judge character seems about as sound as his ability to find a word other than “fun” to describe his every activity.

All right, on with the recap.

First off, the producers want us to be really excited that they’re back filming at the “Bachelor mansion,” lovingly captured in a couple of swooping drone shots as dramatic orchestral music played.

“Ohmigod!” the contestants kept yelling as they explored. Like, weren’t they just there for the Night 1 cocktail party?

Then host Jesse Palmer came along to introduce himself and remind everyone he used to be the Bachelor. “I know that this thing can work,” he said, completely glossing over the fact that he broke up with the woman he picked shortly after his season finale and married someone years later who has nothing to do with the franchise.

Whatever, at least he fulfilled his key duty of dropping off the first date card.

Teddi, Ency, Melina, Gabby, Kira, Mara, Sierra, Genevieve, Serene and Cassidy were off to do something that “dreams are made of.”

However, the dream belonged to the little girl whose birthday party they were there to set up. Or maybe it was all Cassidy’s dream since she was thrilled that her childhood idol Hilary Duff, a.k.a. “Lizzie McGuire,” was there.

Hilary Duff fulfilled her contractual obligation to pretend to be excited to see Clayton.

Duff is a trained actor so she was able to say with a straight face that she was “super excited” that Clayton was the Bachelor. Then she put the women to work building all the party paraphernalia.

All except Cassidy, who declared, “I’m not here to build a dollhouse, I’m here to build a relationship” and lured Clayton to the pool for a makeout sesh.

You think he gave a shit that Cassidy wasn’t pulling her weight in the party prep? This dude could still hardly believe he was the Bachelor. He wasn’t going to say no to some pushy woman practically dry-humping his leg and sticking her tongue down his throat.

And a word to the sound editor who let us hear the noises every time Clayton smooched someone: ewwwwwwwww.

Clearly Cassidy’s behaviour annoyed the hell out of the other women, which was the point — even Hilary Duff thought she was acting like a cow — but Clayton rewarded her for her boldness. He didn’t even care that she dropped birthday girl Maya’s cake.

Clayton and schoolteacher Serene Russell with the “small people.”

Forget the fact he claims to be jonesing to have a family and that Serene, a third grade teacher, had the most obvious connection with the children who attended the birthday bash.

Serene told Clayton at the after-party how teaching had made a difference in her life and enabled her to do something meaningful. Cassidy — who told the children, “I spend as little time around you small people as possible” — told Clayton at the after-party how pulling him first and kissing him had made her feel really confident, Yeah, I can see how that deserved the group date rose and to theoretically put Cassidy another step closer to being the mother of Clayton’s future brood.

Luckily, we got a palate cleanser with the one-on-one date with someone who actually seemed nice, Susie.

“Oh my gosh!” exclaimed the bubbly wedding videographer, jumping up and down with excitement when she realized she and Clayton were about to take her first ever helicopter ride (yep, the helicopter rides are back) — making sure to swoop close to the mansion to stir up the other women’s envy.

Clayton and Susie Evans enjoy the good life on a yacht.

Susie mentioned as they flew over the coast that she loved the water, which was fortuitous because the helicopter landed on a yacht, where she and Clayton shared bubbly and kisses in a hot tub and even went for a swim.

Then it was time for Susie to sing for her supper, or rather to spill her guts to prove she was worthy of the date rose.

Luckily, she had some trauma to share. Her father had been seriously ill the year before, like organs shutting down ill. Susie teared up as she recalled him holding his grandson, her brother’s child, for the first time when he got out of hospital.

During his long recovery in the ICU, “there wasn’t a day went by that my mom didn’t, like, sleep in the little chair by his bed. Seeing my mom by my dad’s side was very powerful and I want that for myself,” Susie said.

Can’t say I’m convinced that Clayton is the one who can give that to her, but she got the rose nonetheless, bestowed by Clayton as they were serenaded by Canadian country singer Amanda Jordan.

Then it was time for Blonds Behaving Badly Part 2.

Marlena, Elizabeth, Kate, Sarah, Lyndsey, Rachel, Tessa and Shanae were on the second group date.

Shanae — who for some bizarre reason was calling herself “Shanaenae” — had already been coached by her pal Cassidy on how to stand out by being aggressive, so she was raring to go.

She was the first to run up to Clayton, greeting him with the now traditional jump up and wrap your legs around him move — do they make all the women demonstrate that when they cast them? — but she missed out when the contestants walked into a “classroom” to learn about “red flags” by playing “Never Have I Ever” with comedian Ziwe and Elizabeth took the seat next to Clayton.

Elizabeth Corrigan stole a march on Shanaenae by sitting next to Clayton.

Shanae’s jealousy and insecurity were stoked even further when Ziwe teased that Clayton and Elizabeth were “just flirting it up right in front of me. I love it. Love this connection.”

An obstacle course was next and Shanae seemed to take Ziwe’s exhortation to “fight for love as they fought on the beaches of Normandy” a bit too seriously, grabbing Elizabeth’s boob and shoving her down into a pool of goo as the women hopped from one piece of foam bread to another in a “breadcrumbing” challenge (yeah, no, it doesn’t make sense to me either).

Sarah Hamrick gets “alone” time with Clayton, goo and all.

But it was wealth management adviser Sarah who won the prize of alone time with Clayton, which meant sitting off to the side on a couch, drinking bubbly and smooching while Shanae stared and fumed.

That meant it was “all or nothing” for Shanae at the after-party in her quest to win the date rose, but when Elizabeth stole him for alone time first, Shanae had a mini meltdown and then concocted a bullshit story about how Elizabeth was two-faced — all because she didn’t look at Shanae as Shanae was speaking to her during a group conversation.

Clayton, who wouldn’t know a red flag from his ass, sombrely summoned Elizabeth to get her side of the story. As the other women tried to figure out what was going on, Kate asked Shanae point blank, “You didn’t say anything?” Shanae shook her head no.

Pardon me, but saying one thing to Clayton and lying that you didn’t to the other women seems like the definition of two-faced, no?

Elizabeth is a grown-up, so she took Shanae aside to try to clear the air and explained that the reason she didn’t look at Shanae during their conversation with Ency is because she has ADHD and “it’s really hard for me to have multiple auditory inputs. I was probably just really trying to concentrate on what Ency was saying to me.”

Shanae Ankney playing “Never Have I Ever”: “I have” made a complete ass of myself would be my guess.

But Shanae just kept banging on about how it was “two-faced” and she was hurt.

Thank heavens Clayton didn’t give Shanae the date rose. It was a close call as he blathered on about how thankful he was that she could be open with him since being in a relationship meant having to have “those tough conversations.” Boy, is he going to feel like a fool now that he’s seen the episode.

The rose went to Sarah instead, which Shanae took as a cue to keep lashing out at Elizabeth. Now she was claiming that Elizabeth was being two-faced because she had told Shanae during their chat that she loved her. Just for the record, what Elizabeth actually said was, “I 100 per cent validate you as a person and would love to move forward and continue forging a relationship.”

Shanae outed Elizabeth’s ADHD to the rest of the women and said as she stormed off, “Fake, fake, fake, ADHD my ass, 100 per cent.”

Even her mentor in villainy Cassidy was telling Shanae to drop the beef, but she wouldn’t let it go, taking Elizabeth outside for another chat during the rose ceremony cocktail party and questioning whether she really had ADHD.

“I have ADHD,” said Shanae. “Everyone, I mean fucking little kids have ADHD and I think you’re using that as an excuse.”

Elizabeth, who would have been within her rights to push Shanae into the pool at that point, calmly told her she was ending the conversation and walked away.

But Shanae continued the belittling in her confessional, saying sarcastically, “I don’t know if anyone has heard, but she has ADHD and it’s really bad. I don’t want to ever upset her again because I feel terrible. She has ADHD,” and then she laughed.

Note that not only did the producers choose to air this nonsense, they underscored Shanae’s insulting comments with jaunty music like it was a funny joke we should all be laughing at.

It was a new low for a franchise that has been crawling on its belly for quite a while now.

But hey, it was time to shift the focus back to the other villain.

Despite already having a rose, Cassidy sought Clayton out for alone time so she could simper at him and smooch him and tell him what a good kisser he was. And then she boasted to the other women about how much Clayton appreciated her being “unrelenting” in her pursuit.

That was too much for Sierra — another contestant we don’t really know much about since the evil twins have been taking up all the oxygen. Cassidy had confided to Sierra that she had a boy toy back home who she’d been FaceTiming while she was in the hotel waiting for the season to start. And he couldn’t wait for Cassidy to get home so they could watch the unnamed reality show she was on together.

This ain’t a she said, she said. Those sneaky producers got the conversation on tape.

Sierra Jackson breaks the bad news to Clayton about his favourite mouth-to-mouth partner.

Sierra, a recruiting co-ordinator from Dallas, told Clayton about Cassidy’s “friend with benefits” and Clayton went off to brood while Sierra told Cassidy what she’d done.

The episode ended with Clayton asking Jesse, “Has anyone ever taken a rose back before?” and one of those annoying “TO BE CONTINUED” captions — note the all-caps, which are the show’s, not mine.

Remember the good old days, like last month during Michelle’s season, when every episode ended with a rose ceremony?

We’ll be waiting two weeks, until Jan. 24, to find out whether Cassidy gets ousted and whether Shanae’s reign of idiocy continues.

In the meantime, you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor Clayton starts his ‘journey’ with two rejections

January 4, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Clayton Echard started his “journey” as “The Bachelor” on Monday night.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs John Fleenor/ABC

It’s been confirmed: there is at least one person who isn’t a member of the production team who wanted Clayton Echard to be the Bachelor.

Luckily for Clayton, it’s the woman who got his first impression rose and also his first kiss on Monday’s season premiere.

Teddi, a surgical unit nurse from California, told Clayton she picked him out as her ideal Bachelor from photos of Michelle Young’s “guys” because, as she told her sister at the time, “I think he’s really cute and he has such a kind smile.”

So Teddi got her wish. The rest of us? Well . . .

If you were hoping we’d learn something in the season opener that would justify why Clayton, 28, was chosen before Michelle’s season had even aired, you likely came away disappointed.

Clayton’s own explanation for why he’s the man is “because I truthfully believe in this process I think more than anybody else” — which is a pretty nifty trick after appearing on one season of “The Bachelorette” in which he was basically wallpaper.

Also, you know, he cried when he got those (possibly fake) letters from Michelle’s students after their one-on-one date. The producers weren’t going to let us forget that.

On Monday we found out that, um, Clayton’s tall, he has dimples, he used to play football, he’s “a Midwest guy who doesn’t really like the spotlight” from Eureka, Missouri. And he really, really wants to get married and have kids, so much so he tried to give his first impression rose to an emotionally unavailable woman who was still traumatized about her ex-fiance.

Like, what the hell was that?

Salley Carson, whose job description is “previously enagaged,” visits Clayton in his room.

Could the producers really be Machiavellian enough to cast a woman who was engaged to be married a month before filming began, just so she could break up with Clayton before the season had even started, stoking his fear of rejection?

Honestly, I wouldn’t put anything past them at this point.

It turns out Salley from Virginia was supposed to have been getting married the weekend she was in L.A. filming, so she wanted to go home and be with her family instead of, you know, competing with 29 other women for the attention of some dude she’d never met. “Ever since I’ve been here I’ve been an emotional wreck,” she said.

But first she decided to tell Clayton what was going on, and Clayton decided there was chemistry between them and offered her a rose.

After a tearful conversation with somebody back home, Salley rejected the rose, telling Clayton she liked him, but “my heart is just not ready.”

It all felt so manipulative, from the fact Salley was there in the first place to her showing up at Clayton’s room — why the hell would she need to tell him she was leaving if he hadn’t met her yet? — to her getting to keep her cellphone to Clayton’s bright idea to give her a rose.

Salley wasn’t the only woman who rejected Clayton on Night 1.

Clayton and Claire as their “tailgate party” was interrupted.

Claire, a spray tanner from Virginia Beach, started loudly proclaiming that Clayton wasn’t the guy for her after their one-on-one time turned into a “catastrophe,” in her words.

I don’t know what happened. Initially, the football fanatic was “super excited” about spending time with Clayton at the tailgate party the producers had set up for her. Was she mad that Mara interrupted? Was it the fact that Claire beat Clayton at cornhole? Did he not show enough appreciation for the chicken wings with ranch sauce she loves so much she put them in her “bachelorette biography”?

Claire said Clayton was “100 per cent too nice for me.”

“I dont need ‘Hi, I love America and I am a sweetheart,'” she complained.

And then it struck me: Claire is all of us.

After schoolteacher Serene tattled to Clayton that Claire was telling people she hated him, Clayton confronted Claire before walking her out. No, she didn’t hate him, she said, “I feel like we just haven’t, like, clicked.”

Exactly! Bachelor Nation doesn’t hate you, Clayton, but we clicked a lot more with Rodney, Olu, Brandon and even Rick.

When Clayton stepped back into the mansion to explain why he’d ousted Claire, he invited other women to leave too if they weren’t that into him.

“Oh hush, we’re not going anywhere,” said Cassidy, an executive assistant from L.A. who was one of several women Clayton kissed on Night 1.

Clayton bestows the first impression rose (or maybe the second?) on Teddi Wright.

His first makeout sesh (or at least the first one we saw) was with Teddi, who revealed in her intro package that she’s a virgin. So if she turns out to be one of the two or three women that Clayton confesses to having sex with, hoo boy!

Clayton said, not once but twice, that Teddi made him “feel some type of way” — the type of way that makes you hand over a rose, I guess. Bonus points for the fact that Teddi hadn’t just broken off an engagement.

Clayton also locked lips with doctor Kira, who showed up in lingerie and a lab coat and told Clayton she was going to give him a full body physical; Eliza, a marketing manager who spent her childhood in Berlin and asked Clayton in German if she could kiss him; Cassidy, who made her entrance in a miniature car, which was then run over by pickup truck-driving hell raiser Shanae; and Rachel, a flight instructor whose shtick was to have a 63-year-old retiree named Holly get out of the limo first and then introduce her. (Listen, as a fellow 60-something, let me just say Holly really pulled off that dress.)

And while we’re talking about wacky entrances, human resources specialist Hunter brought a snake; real estate agent Kate invited Clayton to hold one of her “nips,” as in a mini bottle of booze; architectural historian Jill brought an urn that she said contained the “ashes of my ex-boyfriends”; Jane, a self-proclaimed cougar at 33 (!), drove up in a vintage convertible; ICU nurse Gabby brought a pillow with Clayton’s face on it because, you know, she wanted to sit on Clayton’s face; real estate adviser Elizabeth brought a whip, which she used on Clayton’s butt; and Samantha showed up in a bikini and a bubble bath, prompting Rachel to say, “Mom, can you pick me up from the Bachelor mansion? I’m scared.”

With the one notable exception we’ve already discussed, the women seemed to eat up Clayton’s aw shucks, “I’m just a guy from a small town,” I can’t believe I’m the Bachelor demeanour. He even spilled his drink while making his toast to potentially falling in love, etc. etc.

Clayton also had a cheerleader in newbie host (and doppelgänger) Jesse Palmer, although it’s worth noting that while they’re both football players, Jesse is a Canadian, born in my hometown of Toronto. “I got your back buddy. You are not doing this alone,” Jesse told Clayton.

As daylight peeked through the mansion windows, Clayton finally handed out 21 roses and I’m not going to list all the names because we won’t remember most of them.

Tessa, another human resources specialist and one of the women of colour in the group, toasted to “the most supportive and beautiful group of women I’ve met in my whole life,” while Cassidy shouted out “everyone’s support and kindness” and looked forward to “getting to be friends.”

You could almost hear the chuckles of glee from the editing room since the next thing we saw was a montage of crying and/or arguing women, along with Shanae getting in someone’s face, grabbing and throwing away a trophy (it’s not quite a flight jacket in the pool, but beggars can’t be choosers).

Since drama increases in inverse proportion to the boringness of the Bachelor, I will paraphrase the great Bette Davis in “All About Eve”: fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

You can watch the next episode Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

An apple falls right out of the tree on ‘The Bachelorette’ hometowns

December 1, 2021 / Debra Yeo

Nayte Olukoya, Joe Coleman, Rodney Mathews and Brandon Jones wait to learn their fate
on the hometowns episode of “The Bachelorette.” PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC

You could say the hometowns episode of “The Bachelorette” came down to an apple vs. a guy in orange shorts. Michelle Young tossed the man who will forever be known for dressing as an apple on Night 1 while the man who donned orange swim trunks on their date, the one we were meant to think she was having doubts about, maintained his frontrunner status.

I mean it’s hard to drum up drama when you have a final four that seems this benevolent, and not a mean brother or rude mother in the bunch among the families that Michelle met.

The closest we got to hometown conflict was when Nayte’s stepdad expressed doubt that Nayte was ready for an engagement, which set up the narrative that Michelle was “struggling” as she went into the rose ceremony with the fear that Nayte would break her heart.

But there was no way she was going to send the season’s frontrunner home; ditto for Brandon, since Michelle told him she was falling for him. And was she really going to ditch Joe after he threw her a prom?

So that left Rodney Mathews, the down-to-earth, good-natured fellow who wormed his way into viewers’ hearts.

I always figure you can tell a lot about a man by how he makes his exit. “I’m always gonna care about you, Michelle, like forever,” Rodney said. “You’re amazing Michelle, so thank you.” And he kissed her hand before he got into the SUV.

That’s class. And I don’t want to belabour the point, but like a lot of other people I’m wondering why we couldn’t have had Rodney for a Bachelor instead of Clayton Echard, whom ABC finally confirmed as its next male star.

While I had hoped we might get actual hometown dates this week, instead the men’s families came to Minneapolis.

First up was Brandon, who hails from Portland, Oregon.

Michelle gets a skateboarding lesson from Brandon Jones. My apologies for the crappy screen grabs,
but ABC’s photo selection for the episode was really paltry.

The less said about the skateboarding part of the date the better. Whatever skills Brandon had gained from skating with his whole family deserted him with Michelle around and yes, it did make him look 14.

Skating around Brandon’s mother Carmen, father David and brother Noah was way easier. Noah was playing the skeptic of the group, but Michelle told him she could 100 per cent see herself with Brandon. She won David over by talking fishing and basketball. And she assured Carmen she could see who Brandon really was “and that’s why Brandon is still here, because I truly love who that person is.”

Speaking of love, Michelle told Brandon, “After today it is very clear to me that I am falling for you.” Combine that with the fact there was so much goodbye smooching that they were still lip-locked as Michelle sat in the back of the van and Brandon seemed like a shoo-in for a rose.

Next it was Rodney’s turn to take Michelle spiritually if not physically to Rancho Cucamonga, Calif., but they picked apples and Rodney fed Michelle apples blindfolded, callbacks both to the first night and their one-on-one date.

Michelle was clearly the apple of Rodney Mathew’s eye during their hometown.

If you didn’t know any better it would be easy to think Rodney stood a real shot at a rose. Michelle leapt on him and kissed him and told him she missed him. She said Rodney could be the “best friend” her parents had told her she should end up with. We never heard Michelle say she was falling for him, however.

When his mom, Carrie, asked Michelle if she could create a life with Rodney outside “The Bachelorette,” the best Michelle could come up with was that Rodney was the type of person she’d want to be stuck in an airport with for five hours if their flight got cancelled.

So yeah, I get why Carrie was fearing the worst for her son with three other men in the running, but Rodney told her Michelle was worth the risk.

Perhaps Joe, on the other hand, already had a leg up, since he shared his hometown of Minneapolis with Michelle, but he had the best non-family date activity hands down. He took Michelle to prom at his old high school complete with fancy clothes, snacks, balloons, dancing, a photo booth, king and queen sashes and crowns and, with no chaperones, all the smooching they wanted.

The prom do-over that Joe Coleman (and production) planned made Michelle happy.

This was a callback to Michelle’s group date spoken-word poem in which she said she was the last picked for prom, as well as the fact Joe had never gone to one.

“You’ll always be first with me,” Joe told her.

“Joe really sees me and understands me,” Michelle said.

The tough cookie at the family meet-and-greet was meant to be Joe’s sister-in-law, Hanna, but once again the family was putty in Michelle’s hands.

She told Hanna Joe was her “little slice of home away from home” and Hanna decided that Michelle had the kind of strength and energy that Joe needed in his life. Although she also said, “I hope this works out because we will see her in the grocery store.”

The last supposed obstacle was that Joe hadn’t told Michelle how he felt about her yet, but he rectified that: “I am falling in love with you and I feel like you’re that special person for me.”

Finally, it was the turn of Nayte, a Winnipeg native who now calls Austin, Texas home.

Nayte Olukoya put on the orange swim trunks that Michelle said she liked for their date.

The paddleboarding was an entertaining enough diversion for Michelle, but the main event was meeting Nayte’s mom Leanna and stepdad Charles, who were divorced but had come together just to support Nayte — or Nathaniel, as they called him.

Nayte had warned Michelle that his family wasn’t into talking about emotions — “no heart to hearts, no I love you’s” — so it was pretty remarkable to watch Nayte and Charles do both those things, apparently for the first time ever.

Charles, who had come into Nayte’s life when he was in Grade 9, told Nayte what an amazing journey it had been to watch him “grow up to be you.”

“Never doubt that I’m proud of you . . . never, ever, ever doubt that I love you and never doubt that I’m here for you,” Charles said.

Nayte thanked him for everything.

“I’m gonna have a family one day and I want to be who you were to me for them,” said Nayte, with tears in his eyes.

“You’ll be even better than me,” Charles replied.

If nothing else ever comes of Nayte meeting Michelle, that’s a moment to treasure right there.

But for purposes of plot development, the important conversation was between Michelle and Charles when she asked if Nayte was ready for an engagement and Charles replied, “I don’t know if he’s gonna get to that point.”

Then again, who knows if that answer actually had anything to do with Michelle’s question, given the magic of editing, although Nayte himself told his mom he wasn’t quite there yet.

The day of the rose ceremony, Michelle had an extraneous visit from her former “Bachelor” mates Bri Springs and Serena Pitt, which boiled down to Michelle telling them it was going to be tough to send one of her final four home since they were “the best guys I’ve met in my entire life.” And maybe she’d get her heart broken at the end. Well, duh.

When the time came, Michelle handed roses to Brandon, Nayte and Joe and you know the rest.

Next week it’s back to a Monday night schedule with “Men Tell All.” ABC also promoted Clayton’s “Bachelor” season for the first time, which starts Jan. 3. My assessment, based on the clips, is that they’ve brought on some mean girls to compensate for what would otherwise be the deadly dullness of the season.

You can tune in next Monday at 9 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

One woman’s exit leaves Matt speechless on ‘The Bachelor’

February 23, 2021 / Debra Yeo

Matt James didn’t get the rose ceremony he expected on Monday’s episode of “The Bachelor.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Matt James asked a rhetorical question on Monday’s hometowns episode of “The Bachelor,” on which he met the relatives of the four women still in the hunt: “The fact that their families are here to meet me and spend time with their daughter, how can you not be excited about that?”

I wasn’t excited at all, truth be told. This has felt like a gruelling season, first because of the nasty behaviour among some of the contestants, later because of the racism controversy that led to Chris Harrison stepping down as host. It’s the first time I can remember that I started to appreciate weekly episodes less as entertainment than as milestones to the end of the season and not having to watch anymore.

But then the first “hometown” date, with teacher Michelle Young, chipped away some of the stone where my “Bachelor”-loving heart used to be. There were cute children on Zoom asking awkward and funny questions. There were lovely moments of affection and care between Michelle and her parents.

By episode’s end, I was feeling sorry for Matt, who seemed to have the wind knocked out of him when Serena Pitt told him he wasn’t her “person” and sent herself home. The stunned silence with which he greeted her pronouncement was raw and real. He hasn’t seemed that disturbed about anyone else leaving, which makes me think that Bri lucked into what would have been Serena’s rose. More on that later.

Back to Michelle’s date. Taking questions from the children of Ms. Young’s class was probably good practice for Matt meeting the parents later on.

Matt got to “meet” teacher Michelle’s students on their hometown date.

The kids weren’t messing around. “How many girlfriends do you have?” asked a girl named Marnie. “Are you going to have babies?” queried Kelsey and Luke. “Are you going to marry her?” asked Tyler. Matt wasn’t saying, but promised he’d give Tyler a Zoom call when he knew.

Michelle’s dad Ephraim wasn’t quite that direct, but he did ask Matt if he was in love with Michelle. “I am falling for your daughter,” Matt replied. He also said he’d be willing to move to Minnesota if they ended up together.

Michelle had emotional conversations with both her mom and her dad, not just about her feelings for Matt but about how they supported her after what I presume was a bad breakup two years before. “That’s our job, to be there when things get tough,” Ephraim said, which gives me hope Michelle will be just fine if Matt doesn’t pick her.

Later, Michelle told Matt she was falling in love with him. He did not say it back, but he did seem happy she said it, so we’ll see.

Rachael gets a rose from Matt. Should I read anything into the fact that her hometown date
was the only one that the ABC website didn’t provide any photos for?

The next date was with our problem contestant, Rachael Kirkconnell.

If you’re like me, you’re probably hoping that Matt doesn’t pick Rachael because if her social media blunders were more than just youthful ignorance, and the allegations that she bullied high school colleagues for dating Black guys are true, then her getting engaged to Matt can’t end well.

Matt certainly does seem attached to Rachael, however. There was a mishap when they went skydiving and Rachael came in for a rough, face-first landing. She was fine other than bruises, but Matt said the near-miss had put his feelings in perspective. “It’s a different feeling when you’re falling in love and that person’s, like, potentially really hurt and the thought of losing you set in in that moment . . . I didn’t realize how strongly I felt until something like that happened,” he said.

When it came to her family, Rachael’s father Darrell was skeptical, but he wasn’t rude about it. “To me it would be difficult to care about someone when you’re seeing other people,” he told Matt and who the hell can argue with that sentiment?

Rachael wasn’t dissuaded when Darrell suggested Matt was telling the other three women the same things he was telling her. “I don’t think he is,” she said. “It might be a little naive of me to think I’m different, but I really think that I am.”

What could Dad do but tell her she had his support?

Rachael was a little put off, however, by the fact Matt hadn’t asked her father for permission to propose. “That’s not a conversation I want to have with four families,” Matt explained and I applaud the hell out of that remark. He promised Rachael he’d phone her pop when the time came.

If there’s a wedding for these two, Bri might need to pull out the step stool at the altar.

Bri’s date was the most uneventful of the four. There was only one child in view, her mother Lauren’s new baby, and she was too young to ask questions. There were no injuries despite the fact Bri took Matt off-roading.

Even though Matt said he was falling for Bri, her mom wasn’t sure if he meant in love or lust. But when Bri tearfully told Lauren she was falling in love with Matt, Mom was all for sharing that with him. “Worst case scenario we are mending a broken heart together and we’ll survive,” she said.

I could be wrong, but I suspect there’ll be mending to do, only because when Bri told Matt she felt like she was falling for him, he responded, “Thank you for sharing that with me tonight.” It seemed too polite a reaction.

Serena and Matt indulge in a Canadian pastime.

And now for Serena. Like her, I am a proud Canadian so I was most interested in the Toronto publicist’s date. One room of the Nemacolin was turned into a mini Canadaland. There were stuffed moose and beavers; there was maple syrup; there was a map of Canada and Canadian flags; there was a quiz in which Matt couldn’t distinguish between a toboggan and a toque. I’ll be honest: unless you popped into a souvenir store you wouldn’t see any of that stuff just wandering around Toronto. Although, yes, I occasionally eat poutine and BeaverTails and Nanaimo bars, but hold the peameal bacon.

Serena whupped Matt at hockey and beating Americans at hockey is something all Canadians like to do, or at least to see being done.

But there was to be no cross-border love story here. It wasn’t that Serena’s mom and dad and sister were opposed to Matt; it was that the more questions they asked Serena about him the more confused she became about her feelings. She was the only one of the four women who didn’t tell Matt she was falling for him. In fact, she told him very candidly that she was having doubts.

So the next day, Matt went to Serena’s suite to try to resolve those doubts after telling Harrison it was a relationship worth fighting for. Except it turned out to be a pretty fast knockout.

Matt told Serena he could see a future with her. Serena told him that despite the fact he had everything she could want in a husband, “it just comes down to the fact that I don’t think that you’re my person.”

For at least 20 seconds, Matt just sat there stunned before finally responding, “It sucks to hear that.” Serena walked him out and hugged him and handed him into an SUV. And Matt had tears running down his face in his confessional, so that one definitely left a mark.

My guess is that Bri would have gone home had Serena stuck around and that’s just because he seems more into Michelle and Rachael. But with Serena gone, all three got roses — after a warning from Matt that accepting a rose meant accepting everything that came it, including a potential engagement.

Next week it’s “Women Tell All” so expect rancour and tears, including from Victoria, and maybe even some apologies, fake or otherwise.

Then in two weeks, there’s some sexy time on the overnight dates, buckets of tears, including from Matt, Rachael saying she “can’t do this anymore” and Matt telling Harrison that maybe he doesn’t want to do it anymore either, so make of that what you will.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

The chickens come home to roost for two Bachelor ‘antagonists’

February 2, 2021 / Debra Yeo

Matt James and friend on a farm-themed group date. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Matt James brought out the Swiffer on Monday night, but what he needed was a heavy duty mop.

The Bachelor, tipped off to all the toxic nonsense swirling around the women, decided to clean house — and it almost worked.

Once Queen Victoria and her mean girl protege Anna had been sent packing, it seemed like something approaching civility might be restored among the contestants. When nice girl Rachael got a one-on-one date nobody called her “slutty” or a “ho.” Sure, the other women were disappointed it wasn’t them, but a few of them even clapped for Rachael.

Even the goat she was trying to milk didn’t want anything to do with MJ.

The goodwill didn’t last, though. MJ, who managed to avoid the purge that eliminated Victoria and Anna, got outed on the group date as an “antagonist” by Jessenia. The episode ended with the pair of them on an instant two-on-one and MJ gaslighting so hard it was like she was Charles Boyer and Jessenia was Ingrid Bergman.

I’m going to go out on a fairly sturdy limb and say that Matt won’t swallow MJ’s balderdash about spreading harmony and peace next week. But, in the meantime, let’s relive the fall of Queen Victoria.

After Katie tipped off Matt to the bad blood between the new women and the so-called OGs, it was fairly certain that a couple of troublemakers were headed for the SUVS of Shame.

Anna with Matt in the proverbial “happier times,” at last week’s rose ceremony.

First up was Anna, who you’ll recall gleefully spread a false rumour that newcomer Brittany was an escort back home in Chicago.

Matt heard the tale firsthand from a tearful Brittany. “This is on national TV,” she said. “My mom watches this show and this could ruin my entire life.”

Anna apologized to Matt, but her tears and her explanation of how horrible she felt weren’t good enough for a reprieve. And it was amazing how contrite everyone else got after they watched Matt walk Anna out of the hotel. “Kiss-assery” was what Serena C accurately called it, although she should have been kissing ass right along with the rest.

Queen Victoria’s reign finally came to an end and not with a rose, like last week.

Victoria even apologized to Catalina for taking her Miss Puerto Rico crown the night she arrived and then she sucked up to Brittany, but it was newbie Ryan who laid the groundwork for Victoria’s dethroning by telling Matt, “She told me to my face that because I’m a dancer, she flat out stated that I was a ho.”

The best part was that Victoria seemed to think she could bullshit her way out of it. She told Matt that her comment about Ryan being a ho was taken out of context, to which Matt replied, “I’m just curious, like what context would calling somebody a ho be acceptable to be taken in?” Yes! Thank you Matt.

Victoria just looked at him and played with her hair, but she had plenty to say to whichever producer had been babysitting her.

“Ryan, she’s the shadiest bitch and I hope I don’t get sent home because of that,” Victoria whined, loudly enough for Ryan and some of the other women to hear.

“Literally, there’s no one here he can marry besides me . . . I’m the only one with a working brain in this room. I’m not even being rude, I’m being serious. If he’s gonna believe some idiot over me he’s not my person.”

Holy delusional, Batman. I can’t wait to see that clip replayed on “Women Tell All” and hear Victoria’s spin on it.

When Victoria finally did get sent home, along with Catalina, Lauren and Mari, she had the nerve to tell Matt, “I honestly feel so sorry for you that you would listen to hearsay and not all the facts behind this situation.”

In reply, Matt just looked at her, which was the perfect response.

So Victoria declared that Matt was no longer her king but a jester, which to my mind is not a bad thing. It means he gets the last laugh.

Rachael plays dress-up inside one of the hotel shops.

The next day, Rachael got the “Cinderella” date. Since there presumably weren’t any swanky stores open nearby (or none they’d break quarantine in the resort for), Rachael was taken to one of the shops inside the Chateau at Nemacolin and gifted with a bunch of designer dresses and a pair of Louboutins.

The dinner conversation was mostly standard talk about Rachael having self-doubt and being afraid to open up. The most significant thing was that she said she was falling in love with Matt and he said it back to her, and I do believe that’s the first time he’s said that to someone.

Imagine how pissed you’d be if you’d just watched Rachael come back to the suite with her arms full of bags of expensive clothes and you had to go on the group date and shovel poop. That’s what Serena P, Bri, Katie, Pieper, Serena C, Ryan, Michelle, Brittany, Magi, Abigail, Chelsea, Jessenia and MJ got to do, as well as milk a goat named Frenchie (who did not like MJ much at all) and gather eggs.

MJ thought she’d be cute and flirty and chase Matt after he threw an egg that broke in her hand, but he ran straight into Pieper doing an interview and began sucking on her face. Awkward.

Hey Matt, remember your first impression rose recipient, Abigail?

Put MJ aside for a moment while we talk about Abigail. I’ve been puzzled that the first impression rose winner has not yet had a one-on-one, which was also weighing on Abigail’s mind.

She told Matt she was afraid she would disappoint him, chiefly because he wants a family and there’s a good chance her children will be deaf like her and her sister. She also confessed her fear of opening up in a relationship after her birth father walked out on the family when Abigail and her sister got their cochlear implants. Matt, himself the son of a single mom as we all know, treated her confessions as fuel for a future together and gave her the date rose. So don’t count Abigail out just yet.

When MJ’s turn for a chat came, things weren’t quite so cordial. Matt told her that some of the other women had identified her as an “antagonist” in the house. MJ claimed to be shocked and hurt, and then promptly proved her bona fides as an antagonist by getting up in Jessenia’s face. Jessenia had told Matt how MJ referred to the original women in the house as the “varsity” squad and the newer women as “JV” or junior varsity.

I mean, I’d rather be called JV than a ho, but I see Jessenia’s point, which was that it made the newer contestants feel unwelcome. MJ claimed she’d “never been involved in anything,” which anyone who’s watched the season from the beginning knows is a bunch of hogwash.

Anyway, enough about MJ. It was time for Kit’s one-on-one. I confess on Night 1 I had Kit pegged as perennial group date fodder and perhaps a sparring partner for Victoria. But Matt had Kit come to his place to bake chocolate chip cookies and smooch a lot.

Kit talked about how growing up in the public eye as the daughter of designer Cynthia Rowley made her keep her emotions hidden and her walls up, but she was being really vulnerable (yes, that word again) for the very first time. She said she was starting to fall in love with Matt.

Matt didn’t say it back, but he said he was happy to have Kit on the journey and gave her a rose.

And just like that it was rose ceremony day again and a card arrived for MJ and Jessenia, telling them to meet Matt at the cocktail party ahead of the other women.

I won’t bore you with the full extent of the she said, she said.

Jessenia said MJ was a liar for not owing up to her part in the toxicity in the house. MJ said all she was doing was preaching peace and harmony (if by harmony you mean saying things like, “The new girls aren’t gonna try to, like, get to the front of the line. Let the varsity squad go in first,” then yes, very harmonious).

Jessenia, who I am totally re-evaluating due to the cool way she parried MJ’s BS, said, “You’ll find out the truth when all this airs and so will he.”

And then Matt walked in, looking grim, and the promo rolled for next week.

We know that Pieper will be pissed, Abigail will be angry, Serena C and Katie will clash, Tyler Cameron will put in an appearance and, lord help us, Heather Martin will make her long awaited (or is that dreaded?) return to “Bachelor” land.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

New blood brings fresh meat for the Bachelor’s Mean Girls

January 26, 2021 / Debra Yeo

Matt James started his night with 18 women at the rose ceremony and ended up with 23.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos, Craig Sjodin/ABC

Dumping new women into the cauldron of insecurity and jealousy that is “The Bachelor” several weeks into the season is kind of a no-miss move if drama is the aim.

At the very least, the original women will be flustered enough to generate lots of bitchy B-roll when the new ladies arrive. If the Bachelor keeps at least one of the newbies you’re guaranteed at least another day or two of tension.

But I imagine the producers practically peed themselves with excitement when Matt James kept (or agreed to keep) four of the five women parachuted in on Monday night, then took one of the four on a one-on-one date, leaving several of the OG contestants in a lather.

And when the jealousy reached new levels of verbal nastiness, well, high fives all around in the production room.

It seems like last week‘s gang-up on Sarah was perhaps a rule and not an exception given what went down this week. As usual, Victoria was the chief Mean Girl, but Anna was a close second, with assists from MJ and Serena C.

The episode began with Matt moping about Sarah’s departure and a few of the women gloating about it. “The trash took itself out,” sniped Victoria. When Katie asked her to stop being mean, Victoria responded, “No, I won’t stop, Katie. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”

Matt and Katie, who had no time for Victoria’s nonsense.

During the group date, Victoria tried to get Katie to apologize: “You told me to stop when I wasn’t done expressing myself.” When Katie pointed out that Victoria’s self-expression consisted of calling Sarah names, Victoria retorted, “I can express myself with name-calling if I choose to.” When Katie didn’t back down, Victoria tried to shame her by bringing up the vibrator from Night 1, but Katie — bless her heart — stuck to her guns.

Model Chelsea, who chatted with Matt about the emotional weight that Black women attach to their hair, got the date rose.

By the time the rose ceremony cocktail party rolled around, it looked like the drama had died down. Matt gave a very unconvincing speech about how he was eventually “hoping to get down on one knee” and distributed kisses and compliments to Pieper and Kit and Katie and Bri. And then, just as Victoria started blathering to Matt, host Chris Harrison interrupted and told Matt he had to talk to him. Right. Now.

Matt liked newcomer Brittany way more than the OG contestants did.

Was Sarah back? That’s what the women thought when an SUV pulled up outside. But brunette bombshell Brittany quickly became their new target when they saw her from a window planting a big smooch on Matt (for the love of god, will someone tell Matt to close his eyes when he kisses?).

She was quickly followed by teacher Michelle, dancer Ryan, nurse Kim and Catalina, a former Miss Puerto Rico whose crown “Queen Victoria” stole right off her head.

Victoria fumed that the interlopers were “random-ass hoes”: Anna said she was having a mental breakdown; Katie worried they were “new and exciting eye candy.” Matt called them “a nice surprise” — so nice in fact that he kept Brittany, Michelle, Ryan and Catalina and sent home Khaylah and Kaili, not that it mattered much in the grand scheme of things. It’s mostly changing up the group date fodder.

Speaking of group dates, the next day Matt took Brittany, Ryan and Catalina on a group date with Mari, Bri, Abigail, Magi, Anna and Victoria.

Former Bachelor Ben Higgins was back to oversee a group date.

It was an obstacle course supposedly planned by former Bachelor Ben Higgins: a “Fall in Love Fest” in which the women had to kayak in “pumpkins” across a pond (fall, get it?), then dress in squirrel costumes and hunt for stuffed acorns in a pile of leaves before racing to the finish line.

There was no drama to speak of, unless you count Anna hiding Brittany’s acorn, but that changed at the cocktail party when Brittany interrupted Anna’s time with Matt.

Anna started trash-talking Brittany, egged on by Victoria, who called Brittany “slutty.” Anna claimed to have heard rumours from their mutual hometown of Chicago that Brittany was — gasp! — an escort.

Brittany denied it, saying it was shitty that Anna was drawing conclusions without knowing her. “I know you guys don’t care at all, but it’s really hard,” said Brittany, to which Victoria retorted, “OK, then get out of the house” and laughed.

First off, so what if Brittany was an escort? Would that disqualify her from coming on a dating show? And have we not moved past women slut-shaming each other on this series?

Newcomer Michelle got a coveted one-on-one with Matt.

Against that background, Matt’s one-on-one date with Michelle the next day was a nice respite. The ziplining and hot-air ballooning were fine (some of the other women spied on them with binoculars from a hotel balcony), but it was the dinner conversation that made it clear these two had really bonded in their short time together.

Michelle talked about her work as a teacher, how much she loved her job, how hard the year had been for her students between the pandemic and the killing of George Floyd, and she paraphrased Maya Angelou: “People don’t always remember what you say. They remember how you made them feel,” which happened to be one of Matt’s favourite quotes.

Matt said Michelle had “the type of depth I’m looking for in a woman” and “could be someone that I called my wife,” and you had the feeling it might be game over for the women back at the hotel.

There was fighting as well as fighting words on “The Bachelor,” with guidance from Mia St. John.

Nonetheless, the show must go on, so there was another group date. This time 10 of the women — no newbies, luckily for them — got to train with former world boxing champ Mia St. John and then beat each other up in the “Battle for the Bachelor” while the rest of the women, Harrison and alum Wells Adams watched.

The women didn’t pull their punches, so much so that one bout was stopped after Serena P. got smacked in the throat and the nose by Lauren.

At the after-party, the women began complaining about the new girls again, undeterred by Katie telling them, “At some point we’ve got to get over it and welcome them into the house a little bit.”

It was worse back at the “house,” where Anna and Victoria were tag-teaming again, with Victoria calling Brittany “serial killer weird” and Catalina “the dumbest ho I’ve ever met.”

Katie, who knew firsthand how upset Brittany was about the escort story, decided to tattle. She ran outside to tell Matt there was bullying going on and rumours being spread about the new girls that “could literally ruin their lives.”

So it looks like the poop will hit the fan next week just ahead of the rose ceremony.

There will be tears, recriminations and it looks like Victoria will have a fainting spell of her own.

You can watch all the drama on Citytv next Monday at 8 p.m. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Tag: The Bachelor (Page 1 of 2)

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