Cassidy leaves, Shanae lies and the Bachelor drama continues

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a “Bachelor” season launches with a lead who wasn’t the viewers’ choice and gets criticized for devoting too much time to the bullies among the cast.

The main difference between Matt James’ season a year ago and Clayton Echard’s now is that the bullies — so far — are targeting other white women. Oh and the franchise has reverted to its comfort zone of having a white man in the lead.

There are a couple of conclusions we can draw: the people who put this show together have learned nothing from past controversies and, even if they had, they don’t care what we think.

On Monday night, just ahead of the latest outrageous stunt by villain Shanae Ankney, “Bachelor” creator Mike Fleiss tweeted, “Not sure what it is, but there’s something about Shanae that I really like. . .”

Perhaps he was trying to be ironic, but it felt like a jibe at those of us who were genuinely disturbed by Shanae’s behaviour. And I’m not gonna lie: watching Shanae blatantly lie to Clayton as she badmouthed contestant Elizabeth Corrigan, and then laugh about pulling one over on him, really bothered me.

But guess what? The episode ended (yet again) without a rose ceremony, but it was clear from the promo of next week’s instalment that Shanae will make it through another week and we’ll be in for more of the drama that Fleiss and crew value so much.

I suppose some people will vote with their remotes and just stop watching. Ratings were down between Week 1 and 2, which aired two weeks ago, but were still good enough to lead the night in the all important 18 to 49 demo.

Me? I’ve committed to recapping the season, which I guess makes me part of the problem, but let’s get on with it.

Last week’s episode ended with Clayton asking host Jesse Palmer if anyone had ever taken back a rose before. It took about 16 minutes on Monday for Clayton to do just that, showing Cassidy the door after learning that she’d been FaceTiming her friend with benefits back home pretty much right up until it was time for her limo ride to the Bachelor mansion.

At first Cassidy was deny, deny, deny, but for some reason she caved and admitted there was a friend she’d slept with a couple of times over the last couple of months, but she had “no interest in resuming that relationship because I knew it wasn’t going anywhere.”

And what did she think Clayton was going to do with that information? She cried a lot when he handed her into the SUV of shame, so maybe she actually liked him? I dunno. And of course, there’s the double standard of a woman who’s about to become one of 30 chasing the same stranger being expected to live like a nun in the months leading up to filming, but Cassidy was annoying so I can’t pretend I’m sorry she’s gone.

Then Clayton, looking appropriately mournful, handed out 16 more roses (Sarah and Susie already had two) and 18 women moved on, sweetly but naively hoping they could put the drama behind them.

First up was a group date with Serene, Susie, Eliza, Mara, Marlena, Hunter, Genevieve and Jill, and can somebody please explain why this franchise has made such a fetish out of so-called “vulnerability”?

The women had to sit in a circle on a stage with Clayton and “Bachelorette” host Kaitlyn Bristowe and spill their guts about painful things in their lives. I mean, they don’t know Clayton, they don’t know Kaitlyn, just a few weeks in they probably barely know each other, so why?

Asked to share a part of themselves they weren’t proud of, their discussion turned to body image. Hunter confessed she had worn contacts to turn her eyes blue and changed her hair colour to please a boyfriend who cheated on her. Serene said she used to overeat in front of other people to fend off accusations she was anorexic because of her small stature. Even Clayton said he purposely lost weight when he was in Grade 7 because he thought he was fat.

Marlena talked about the burden of being a woman of colour: “having to be 10 times better just to be seen and just to be heard has been a lot for me,” although she also said she hadn’t intended to talk to Clayton about race. Bring it on was basically his response. She was helping the white guy “see things from a different perspective.” And that’s about as deep as this franchise gets on the topic.

At the after party there was more talk about opening up and validating feelings, but mostly Clayton kissed people and then gave the date rose to Eliza because she was a “sweetheart” and he seemed to really like her outfit.

Next up was a one-on-one with Sarah and yet another gratuitous “Bachelor” alumnus guest appearance.

This time, former Bachelorette Becca Kufrin was there because she had allegedly planned the date, which is as believable as the fact that when Clayton and Sarah were told they had to strip to their underwear they just happened to be wearing matching black briefs and a sports bra in Sarah’s case.

So we went from contestants having to strip emotionally to doing it physically. Sarah and Clayton got to make spectacles of themselves doing embarrassing things like dancing and singing (or rapping) in their gitch.

Clayton said it was “a true test to our relationship.” No it wasn’t, it was a bit of humiliation dreamed up by some producer with the sensibility of a 12-year-old boy.

Apparently Sarah hadn’t been quite vulnerable enough, because at dinner she talked about being part Vietnamese and being adopted into a white family because her birth parents were too young to raise her, and how she grew up feeling ashamed of being adopted.

Sarah was laying down some real feelings but getting rote responses from Clayton like “Seriously, thank you so much for sharing that.”

Nonetheless, she eagerly accepted the date rose and danced and smooched with Clayton as a string quartet played “Clair de Lune” inside the “Immersive Van Gogh” exhibit in Los Angeles.

Back at the mansion, the stage was being set for the group date nonsense to come.

First, Shanae turned what appeared to be a nice gesture by Elizabeth — making some garlic butter shrimp to share — into another reason to hate her; her words, not mine. I don’t know how many shrimp Elizabeth made, but Shanae ate eight of them — there was a counter onscreen keeping track — so some women didn’t get any. Shanae made more, but when most of the women failed to look up when Shanae brought a plate of shrimp to the hot tub she blamed that on Elizabeth too.

Then the next date card came. Elizabeth and Shanae were both on it, along with Gabby, Rachel, Kira, Melina, Lyndsey, Sierra and Teddi. Shanae groused in confessional that she didn’t want Elizabeth on her group date, “but she’s not gonna win. I need to get that fuckin’ rose tomorrow.”

I’m not sure why “Baywatch” was the theme of the date. So we could watch the women jiggle across the beach in those famous red bathing suits, perhaps? Anyway, original cast member Nicole Eggert was there and the women had to put sunscreen on each other, give CPR to a dummy (no, not Shanae) and do a slo-mo stroll.

Shanae distinguished herself by putting sunscreen on Clayton’s nipples and then jumping on him and kissing him for far too long, all the while hoping Elizabeth was watching. How could she not watch such a cringe-worthy display?

“I’m back on top,” crowed Shanae. But she wasn’t because Nicole gave the prize of extra time with Clayton to Gabby. Clayton was so impressed with Gabby’s quirkiness and goofiness that he also gave her the date rose — but not before Shanae had turned the cocktail party into another shit show.

Shanae lied to Clayton that Elizabeth was perpetuating their beef of the week before; that the other women wouldn’t talk to Shanae when Elizabeth was around; and that Elizabeth was “a liar and a bully and toxic,” which of course is a description of Shanae herself.

She even squeezed out a few tears and then boasted in her confessional, “Omigod, he believed me. Trust me, I have him. I know I have him. I was good, like, I was good. Holy fuck, I was good. And I didn’t mean to cry, but I cried,” she laughed.

I don’t know if Shanae is really that much of a jerk, if the stress of shooting has altered her behaviour, if she’s following a villain game plan or being egged on by producers, but her glee at hoodwinking Clayton seemed unambiguous.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth cried what appeared to be real tears after Clayton confronted her, yet again, with Shanae’s accusations, claiming that Shanae’s mental health was “wavering.”

“I’ve been nothing but kind to her. Like, what did I do?” protested Elizabeth. “I don’t feel like I can really talk to you because I’m just being questioned.”

The other women questioned Shanae about her claims but since she was unable to give them any examples she tried to shut down the conversation instead and reverted to calling Elizabeth “fake” and “two-faced.”

See, if Clayton was channelling Michelle Young he would have got to the root of the bullshit right then and there, and sent Shanae home. Instead, he planned to address the subject at the next night’s cocktail party.

“Elizabeth’s the problem,” declared Shanae. “She’s not gonna make me lose because of her lying ADHD ass.” So we’re back to that, are we?

We already know Shanae will get a rose and she’ll be on yet another group date next week and that Clayton, unable to see through her crap, will play more tonsil hockey with her. And she will find a new target for her raging insecurity in Genevieve. And honestly, I’m so over it.

But I’ll be back next week recapping the new episode, which airs Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo