Tag: Bachelor recap (Page 1 of 3)

Bachelor finale recap: Another woman sacrificed to drama

March 28, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Zach Shallcross waits on a beach in Thailand to do what everyone knew he was going to do all along. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

So ABC, can we finally cut the crap?

The (un)reality series “The Bachelor” had a “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” moment on Monday’s season finale, very nearly openly revealing just how much of a sham it is.

That it did so at the expense of a brokenhearted woman is to its producers’ shame, as well as ours for going along with the nonsense season after season after season.

To no one’s surprise, even those of us who don’t read the spoilers, Zach Shallcross proposed to Canadian nurse Kaity Biggar in the episode, sending Vermont account executive Gabi Elnicki home — but not before Gabi called him out for stringing her along.

Gabi reacts to being told she’s not the one for Zach.

As she stood on the proposal platform in Krabi, Thailand, getting the “I’ve been falling in love with you, but . . . ” speech from Zach, Gabi made him stop: “I’ve known it was coming,” she said of the breakup. “What I don’t know is why you didn’t tell me when you knew.”

Zach claimed that he didn’t “fully” make his decision until the night before in bed, but Gabi interrupted: “You’ve known, you’ve known.”

And there’s the crux. Sure, Bachelors can compartmentalize, they can have feelings for multiple women, but don’t tell me that with a potentially life-changing decision like a proposal on the line they wait until the last possible moment to make up their minds.

The “I can’t decide between two women” conceit is a fiction that Zach agreed to uphold as part of making a TV show. Gabi laid bare the toll it takes on the woman who, in her words, is “strung along” for the sake of sticking to the formula.

“I never thought someone who said they were falling in love with me would make me go through that,” Gabi told host Jesse Palmer after she watched the debacle in front of a studio audience.

“That last day, when you prepare a speech and you have hours and hours and hours of interviews, and you get ready and you spend all morning waiting and waiting and waiting, and I remember having the thought in the back of my head, ‘Zach would never make you go through this.’

“Even though I had that gut feeling of (not being the one) I didn’t think somebody who cared about me would make me go up there, and go through all of that stress and anxiety, and just the entire day just to — I mean I felt humiliated.”

But Zach made her go through it; Zach played the game.

And that wasn’t even the worst of the betrayal.

Gabi told Jesse that until she watched the fantasy suites episode she didn’t know Zach had told “everyone” about them having sex, a decision they had agreed was going to be just “between us.”

“So for me to see that, it was beyond a TV show for me,” Gabi said crying. “I feel ashamed from a moment that felt like love to me.”

She added, “I thought it was love, I thought it was more than a TV show. I get it, sex sells, but now I’ve become a narrative and it’s really painful . . . it’s a part of me that I’ll never get back that I shared with him and it’s extremely violating that the entire nation knows everything.”

Gabi lays out her pain for Zach on the “Bachelor” finale.

And what did Zach have to say for himself? Not much.

Time was short because the finale was on a schedule but, hey, we really, really needed to have Sean and Catherine Lowe in the hot seat so Sean could pretend that, yes, Zach had a tough choice to make, even though Sean and everybody else knew he’d made it weeks ago. Also, so “The Bachelor” could once again trot out its only real success story in 27 seasons. It’s funny, though, that Sean gives God more credit for his life with Catherine than “this sometimes silly reality TV show.”

But back to Zach. He told Gabi there was no excuse for the way he handled things, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, he was sorry from the bottom of his heart, etc.

It was a variation of what he said to Ariel Frenkel when she took him to task earlier for not telling her he’d had sex with Gabi — she didn’t find out until she watched the episode — and for arbitrarily making sex a no-go when he and Ariel had their fantasy suite date.

Ariel was her usual poised, mature self talking to Zach.

“I want to know why the other women were given grace and honesty and I wasn’t given that respect,” Ariel said to applause and cheers.

Also, “by putting sex off the table you made the entire week about sex” — which, no doubt, was the producers’ intention.

“I want you to understand you also took away my agency . . . You took away my ability to even have a conversation. If you had waited you would have found out I was on the same page as you” about not having sex that week, Ariel told Zach.

I have nothing but good things to say about Ariel and Gabi, who were both done dirty by a franchise that has proven over and over again that it will sacrifice anybody’s well-being, particularly women’s, if it means creating a juicy plot line.

But they weren’t the only women disrespected on Monday.

Sure, Kaity got the “prize,” engagement to Zach, but ABC also did her a dirty by upending the usual order of things, by interspersing the “After the Final Rose” interviews with footage of the events in Thailand instead of leaving “ATFR” to the final hour like they did in the old days.

Zach pops the question to Kaity in Thailand.

How were viewers supposed to enjoy the emotional and, for Zach and Kaity, joyous proposal just minutes after we watched Gabi pour out her anguish onstage?

Once the seemingly genuinely happy couple were together in the hot seat, Zach told Jesse, “When I saw her at the last chance date, I saw her and I thought to myself, ‘It’s you, it’s always been you,’ and I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman.

“And obviously, the show, had to wait it out a little bit, couldn’t say anything. I just knew she was my wife.”

And since Gabi’s last chance date came after Kaity’s, or at least was presented that way in the episode, it certainly puts the lie to all that “I didn’t make up my mind till the night before the proposal” nonsense, doesn’t it?

What else can I say? Kaity and Zach said they’re moving in together in Austin, Texas, in the summer and hope to get married in 2025. I wish them well. I hope they make a go of it.

The episode ended with a sneak peek of Charity Lawson’s “Bachelorette” season as we watched her brother, Nehemiah, turn up at the mansion and put on a disguise so he could become the “undercover brother” and find out more about the men.

Frankly, given the franchise’s overall level of disrespect, I think it will take more than a caring brother to protect her from the drama that will be inflicted on her in her season.

Will I continue recapping “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette”? I’m not sure right now that I have the stomach for it, but I’ve been here before and got sucked back in. I will definitely be back in May to follow “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.”

You can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor recap: Zach says no, then yes to sex and blabs about it

March 21, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Kaity, Ariel and Gabi wait for Zach Shallcross to hand out the roses on “The Bachelor.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

Do you remember the good old days of “The Bachelor” when what happened in the fantasy suites stayed in the fantasy suites?

Yes, it was all nudge, nudge, wink, wink, doors closing and lights going out, to give the impression that the Bachelor was doing the horizontal mambo, but nobody was bonking and talking back then so we didn’t end up with scenes like we had Monday night where Zach had sex with one woman and felt compelled to tell another woman about it.

At first glance it seems like a ridiculous — and yes, selfish — thing to do and I’m not saying it isn’t. But it also seems like absolute confirmation that Kaity Biggar will be the last one standing after next week’s season finale.

After all, Zach told host Jesse Palmer that “everyone” needed to be aware that he had broken his no-sex vow with Gabi Elnicki, but it sure looked like Ariel Frenkel went home without knowing bupkis about Zach and Gabi’s night in the sack.

If that was indeed the case — and it wasn’t just the editing out of a conversation — then Zach clearly wanted to fess up specifically to Kaity so she wouldn’t be blindsided after he proposed to her.

Hold that thought while we examine how we got into this mess.

Zach lays down the fantasy suite law with Jesse Palmer: No sex!

It started with Zach having the much promoted conversation with Jesse about how there would be “no sex of any kind” in the fantasy suites, which in and of itself raises questions. So no second or third base then?

He said having sex could “muddy the situation” and that was “not how a healthy engagement should start.” But then, couldn’t you just have sex only with the woman you planned to propose to? So many questions.

Also, Zach confirmed he did not have sex with Rachel Recchia in their fantasy suite, not that I’m surprised. Jesse talked about how Zach “got your heart ripped out of your chest” on that overnight and Zach acknowledged that he learned things about Rachel that night “for the worse.” And we would all love to know what that means.

But never mind, it was time for Zach’s overnight date with Ariel. And let’s be honest: we knew he was going to have a whoopsie on one of this dates and we figured it was going to be with her.

Ariel and Zach check out a Thai night market before spending the night together.

I mean the woman is hot. Plus Zach kept talking in his voice-over about their physical chemistry: “When I kiss Ariel my body just gets hot, omigod, turn on the AC please.”

But despite Ariel eating bugs with the man at a night market in Thailand and sharing that she was falling in love with him, there was no boom in the room, just some making out in their private pool.

A still chaste Zach left Ariel in her adorable pyjamas after they fed breakfast to each other.

And then it was Gabi’s turn and she was in her head, as they say.

Did Zach and Ariel really pass right by her window on their way to dinner, with Ariel in that amazing strapless dress? I don’t know, but even a ride to a private island in a pirate ship during her date couldn’t lift the cloud of Gabi’s self-doubt.

She told Zach that getting the second fantasy suite date was stressing her out. She even left him alone on the beach to cry to a producer that she felt disgusting and ugly.

Having cried and sweated her makeup off, Gabi lays it on the line for Zach.

“I was never good enough in my previous relationships. I was not enough and I was cheated on. I was chosen second,” she told Zach.

But Zach told Gabi that things were “special” with her and reassured her so tenderly I began to think maybe she was going to be the last one standing after all, especially given the way they kissed and cuddled each other in bed the next morning.

The “cuddle sesh” to which Gabi alluded turned out to be a euphemism, however.

Zach spilled the beans to Jesse: he and Gabi had sex.

“I feel terrible because I’ve essentially gone against my word,” Zach said.

He added, “I think every woman needs to be at least aware of what actually happened this week because I don’t want there to ever be any secrets,” as Jesse tried to keep the look of incredulousness off his face.

Did Zach really need to tell Kaity or anyone else though? I mean, it would be an elephant in the room down the road for sure. I’m just not convinced the right time to get honest was before he and Kaity got anywhere near their own fantasy suite.

Nor was Gabi pleased when Zach paid a visit to her room before his date with Kaity to say he was going to be “fully transparent” with everyone else about what she thought was just between them.

Oh yeah, and Zach told Gabi he was falling in love with her, to add another layer of confusion to the proceedings.

But there was Kaity, excited about spending all day and night with Zach.

Zach and Kaity paddle the mangrove forest before the waters got rough.

We’ll leave aside the fact that Zach’s talk about “full transparency” coincided with him and Kaity paddling a glass-bottomed boat through the mangrove forest. And speaking of coincidence, Zach came clean to Kaity during a rain shower while thunder rumbled in the background. And is there money in the “Bachelor” budget for those kinds of special effects?

Zach didn’t name names but told her he had been “intimate.”

And she reacted . . . exactly how you would expect her to react. “Crushed” was the word she used. It’s not that she didn’t realize Zach might have sex with someone else, but she didn’t want to hear about it and I’m with her on that.

Zach tried to patch things up by telling Kaity he could see it being “us” at the end and she was “so special,” and he found it hard to see her upset.

“Like, what did you expect Zach? Do you think I was gonna be like yay?” Kaity asked.

Well, duh. Zach finally seemed to start clueing in that honesty isn’t always the best policy, “Catholic guilt” notwithstanding.

Still, despite Kaity saying she felt distant from him and wondering aloud how she would spend the night with him after his revelation, she kept touching him throughout their conversation. So it wasn’t a shock when Kaity showed up for their fantasy suite and declared that relationships weren’t “always rainbows and butterflies” and they would get through this.

If there was any sex during their overnight, nobody was saying boo about it.

There’s not much to tell about the rose ceremony. It was obvious even during last week’s hometowns that Ariel was the odd woman out.

Zach walked her to the waiting van, telling her she was “the most intriguing, interesting, beautiful, respectful, mature, intelligent woman I’ve ever met.”

And we were treated to the rather bizarre sight of Kaity basically telling Gabi she knew she’d had carnal knowledge of the man they were both hoping to snag. This show, honestly.

“I feel like I’m wearing like an A on my chest. Scarlet letter over here,” said Gabi, and I’m pretty sure she was referring to the 1850 Nathaniel Hawthorne novel “The Scarlet Letter” and not the 2010 Emma Stone film “Easy A.”

Gabi wasn’t feeling all that chuffed about having a rose, especially since Zach avoided making eye contact with her.

How will it all turn out in next week’s “stunning” finale, to use Jesse’s word? Probably exactly how we expect with some bumps along the way.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor recap: Things get sticky on Zach’s hometowns

March 14, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Ariel, Charity, Kaity and Gabi await their fates on the hometowns episode of “The Bachelor.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos Craig Sjodin/ABC

Twenty-seven seasons in, it’s no surprise that brothers, fathers and other family members might want to ask the Bachelor tough questions when their sisters and/or daughters bring him home for vetting.

What is shocking is that families continue to wholeheartedly give those sisters/daughters their approval to pursue this total stranger when three out of four of them are essentially being strung along.

Does anybody really believe that at this late stage of the game, emphasis on “game,” Zach Shallcross doesn’t know to whom he plans to propose?

My guess is that it’s going to be Kaity — and no, I never read spoilers if that’s what’s floating around out there — which means Gabi, Ariel and Charity were just around to fill the mandated number of hometown dates and, likewise, fantasy suites next week.

On Monday, it was Charity’s turn to get handed into an SUV with a declaration that she deserved love that Zach couldn’t give her. And to be honest, it seemed obvious back when Charity got her one-on-one in Estonia that Zach wasn’t going to pick her.

But still, her perfectly lovely family was subjected to having to entertain and feed Zach while he pretended there was a chance in hell she might be the one.

Sitting with Charity’s brother Nehemiah, Zach called Charity “this incredible and special woman,” which is exactly the kind of language he uses for someone he’s about to send home.

Zach visits Charity Lawson in her hometown of Columbus, Georgia.

Asked by Nehemiah what set Charity apart from the other three, Zach said “we felt almost immediately comfortable with each other” and he “didn’t have any doubt that she’s looking for exactly what I’m looking (for), which is forever love.” Neither answer sounds like what you say about the woman of your dreams.

Nonetheless, after Charity had heartfelt, touching and tearful conversations with her brother, her father, her mother and her friends, Charity’s mom Vickie told her that “as far as Zach, that’s nothing but a good thing.”

Charity felt confident enough to tell Zach after an evening of line dancing that she was falling in love with him. And when she said she 1,000 per cent could see herself engaged to Zach you just knew her goose was cooked.

Hers was actually the third date of the episode; Gabi’s was the first.

And in keeping with the “Gabi is weird” narrative she and Zach attempted to tap a maple tree in the woods of Pittsford, Vermont, which devolved into a silly bit of sexual innuendo when Zach stuck his finger in the hole and said things like, “Oh, it is wet in there.”

Good lord.

Gabi Elnicki has Zach taste test maple syrup and no, it didn’t end well.

The maple syrup tasting didn’t go much better when Zach picked the fake pancake syrup as his favourite over the three genuine articles. And you’d think Gabi would have learned her lesson about Zach and maple syrup after forcing him to drink it on Night 1 and getting a less than enthusiastic reaction.

The one type of sugar Zach seems to go all in for is on Gabi’s lips. Last week they were kissing against a wall; this week it was a tree.

They disengaged eventually so that Zach could meet Gabi’s father, mother, sister and two brothers.

Big bro Evan wanted to know Zach’s full intentions. That “comfort” word came up again, but Zach also said Gabi was “someone I could see a future with,” which he more or less repeated to mom Stephanie.

Stephanie reserved judgment whereas father Kevin was more optimistic, having fallen in love with Gabi’s mom in a day after meeting her in a lunchroom — although I doubt he was dating three other women at the same time.

Gabi told Zach she could see a future with him but also cried because “this hurts.”

“We’re gonna get through this,” Zach reassured her and I suspect they will, at least until final two.

From the woods to the metropolis, Zach’s next date was with Ariel in New York City.

So no maple syrup, but there was pizza, a beef tongue sandwich, gefilte fish and espresso martinis.

Zach and Ariel Frenkel eat some carbs in Lower Manhattan.

Zach seemed enthused over learning about Ariel’s Jewish heritage — her parents, she said, fled the Soviet Union due to antisemitic persecution and built a life to be proud of in New York — less so about meeting the brother who had offered to beat up her ex-boyfriends.

Brother Bobby definitely had questions and his first one really seemed to stump Zach.

“At the end of the day, my sister’s the one choosing you, so why should she choose you?”

“Great question,” said Zach, which is what people usually say when they have no idea how to answer.

“Great answer,” retorted Bobby as Zach hemmed and hawed. He eventually came up with his “big heart” and being “a pretty good cook.” And that was not a great answer.

Nor could he tell Bobby Ariel’s birthday or her middle name, but he doesn’t need to know those things to kiss Ariel, which seems to be Zach’s main interest.

Ariel’s father Feliks who, alas, did not bring up orgies, said that Zach seemed very nice but, given Ariel was just one of four women, “Why am I expected to be 100 per cent when the other answer could be 25 per cent?” Why indeed?

Nonetheless, he told Ariel he trusted her judgment. And she seemed to trust Zach, telling him she was definitely falling for him.

“I’m gonna let myself enjoy these emotions and be intensely happy,” she said.

Frontrunner Kaity got the very last date, which was also kind of in Zach’s hometown since he too lives in Austin, Texas.

Kaity could hardly be expected to show him around, especially since she had been there just a few weeks, so instead they went grocery shopping and bonded over cinnamon cereal.

Zach and Kaity Biggar enjoyed running errands in Austin.

Then Kaity took Zach to her house where he put together an Ikea bookshelf, screwed in lightbulbs and set up her mattress.

He was not at all put off. “If it’s Kaity and I at the end of this, this is gonna be a great insight into what life would look like,” Zach said, although presumably he wouldn’t be putting furniture together every week.

Mind you, we were led to believe it could all be for naught since Kaity said she couldn’t be with Zach without the approval of her mother, who had raised her after her father and stepfather both split.

Did her mother, Anne, give the OK? What do you think?

Anne couldn’t help but notice how “handsy” Zach and Kaity were with each other after they arrived. And Zach gave Anne more assurances than he’d given any other parent, saying he could “100 per cent see a future with Kaity” and could “absolutely see myself falling in love with her.”

Yep, Kaity for the win.

Speaking of 100 per cent, that’s how much Anne said she would support Kaity being with Zach moving forward. So Kaity told Zach she was falling in love with him.

There was nothing left to do at that point but for Sean Lowe to have another of his totally voluntary and not at all contractual visits with Zach (at least Sean didn’t have to see Zach stripped to his pecs again although there was yet another gratuitous Zach shower scene at the start of the episode).

Zach pretended he didn’t know whom he was going to send home and Sean made sympathetic comments about how brutal that was going to be, “but I’m proud of you so far.”

Zach also got moral support from host Jesse Palmer with not one but two hugs before he went into the mansion to break Charity’s heart.

After walking her out, Zach told Charity he’d been sick to his stomach all day.

“I know you don’t want to hear this from me, but you deserve all the love and I couldn’t give it to you. I’m grateful to know you,” Zach told Charity before handing her into the SUV and then crying as it pulled away.

Charity was gracious and tearful but also kind of pissed once she was alone.

“It makes no fucking sense to me,” she said. “I can’t give you the love you deserve. Like I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what it frickin’ means.”

Maybe she got to ask Zach that question during “The Women Tell All,” which airs Tuesday night at 8 p.m. on Citytv. I’m afraid I won’t be recapping that one. I’ve got too much to do this week for double “Bachelor.”

Next week it’s the “no sex, OK, yes sex” fantasy suites episode when Zach apparently gets intimate with someone and upsets everyone else. And does what happens in the fantasy suite not stay in the fantasy suite anymore?

You can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor recap: Greer’s over COVID, Zach’s over her

March 7, 2023 / Debra Yeo

From left, Ariel, Kat, Charity, Kaity and Gabi with Zach Shallcross and host Jesse Palmer at the rose ceremony in Budapest, Hungary. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

This is what “The Bachelor” producers think of the women on this show. After Greer was released from her COVID quarantine, they made her fly to another country just so Zach could break up with her.

If Zoom was good enough for a rose ceremony, surely it was good enough to let Greer know she didn’t stand a chance in hell of getting a hometown date, which apparently everyone but Greer knew. Or she could have just disappeared like Logan did on Rachel and Gabby’s season.

But no, we needed to see the mascara streaking down her cheeks as she sat next to Zach in his Budapest hotel suite.

If there was a word or phrase of the week, it wasn’t “best friend,” which made a reappearance, or even “flabbergasted,” which Zach pulled out on his date with Kaity; it was “insecure,” which is how most of the women felt at some point during the episode.

Well, not Kaity. Everything seemed to be coming up roses for Kaity — pun intended — after she got the first Hungarian one-on-one, her second of the season.

Kaity Bigger looks at Zach Shallcross with adoration as he reads the love “poem” he typed.

She and Zach rode the Budapest Castle funicular — another new Bachelor word! — and wrote the world’s worst “poems” to each other on an old typewriter on the castle grounds, which had not at all been planted at a lookout point by “Bachelor” producers.

They learned important facts about each other, like her favourite colour is purple and his original family name was Shacklecross. And if old English names were derived from what people did for a living, I’m not sure I want to know what that one’s about.

By the time they had their non-dinner at Budapest’s oldest bathhouse, Zach was telling Kaity she made him feel “so special and safe and flabbergasted,” and Kaity was telling Zach he made her feel “that safety, that security, that stability” she’d been missing in her other relationships.

That emphasis on reliability made sense when Kaity explained that her father had left when she was young and the man who raised her also left when she was in Grade 8. And she started to cry and, for once, Zach didn’t start comparing her experience to something in his own life.

“Wow, I mean, that’s, I mean, not easy and I, I, I can’t fathom that, you know, it’s just,” he said.

So eloquently put. But he could have said goo goo, ga ga and Kaity would still have been beaming when he handed over the date rose, which guaranteed her a hometown date.

Next up was the group date. Ariel, Charity, Gabi and Kat were sent to the Kalman Imre Theatre, which was “dark and very scary” inside, according to Charity. She didn’t know the half of it.

Ariel, Charity, Kat and Gabi with Zach and mentalist Labib Malik on the group date.

Zach was hanging with a magician named Labib Malik, who claimed to be able to read minds.

At the very least, his tricks — including making a red heart appear to transfer from Zach’s hand to Gabi’s — enabled us to enjoy Gabi’s swear word substitutions, like “holy shiitake mushroom” and “what the front door.” Malik also asked the women to think of words and then wrote those words down on a chalk board, and he never missed.

What was less fun for the women was when Malik, warning them he’d know if they were lying to him, made comments and asked questions designed to make them feel like they were blowing it with Zach.

Shades of the psychoanalysis date on Clayton’s season.

So Gabi was told that people found her confusing; Ariel was told she was keeping people from knowing “the true you”; Charity was induced to say she had a hard time trusting herself after her previous horrible relationship; and Kat was outed for having considered quitting “The Bachelor.”

Kat, Gabi and Charity were all in tears at the after-party at various points. Ariel seemed to be the only one who wasn’t losing her shiitake mushrooms.

All we really knew at this point was that Zach had to give Ariel a hometown date so we could meet the father who told her, “Ariel, you can’t do the show. I know what they do there, orgies. You will walk into a room and they will force you to get naked.”

Oh goodie, can’t wait for Ariel to tell her folks about the visit to the nude sauna in Estonia, hopefully while Zach is sitting there.

Charity assured Zach that although she hadn’t forgiven herself for staying too long in her abusive relationship, “I have no doubt with you, none at all,” which seemed to work for Zach.

Gabi confessed her “super ADHD” to Zach and “all the weirdness that goes on in my brain,” but Zach assured her that her personality was “fun to be around.” And he reinforced that with wall smooching, which is like regular smooching, but you do it pressed up against a wall.

With Kat on the other hand, Zach was nervous that when the mentalist asked her if she wanted Zach to meet her family, she replied, “I think so.” A crying Kat dug the hole deeper by telling Zach there were days she felt like she “just couldn’t do it” and “when things get hard I want to leave and give up.”

She tried to turn it around by assuring Zach she saw a forever future with him, but the pained look on his face said forever was only going to last until the next rose ceremony.

Gabi got the rose — come on, wall kisses — which unleashed more tears from Kat.

Then it was time for Greer to get punked.

She walked to Zach’s hotel bubbling with excitement and optimism about seeing him again.

Zach and Greer Blitzer chat in his hotel suite for the first time since her COVID confinement.

After some small talk about the weather and COVID and such — and why do you have your hand on her knee if you’re about to break up with her? — Greer uttered the fateful words: “I guess I was just wondering, like, where you’re at.”

Bottom line: “To give a hometown rose I need to feel 100 per cent confident that I can see a future and I don’t feel that,” Zach said.

Well, duh. Greer never stood a chance, not without getting a one-on-one date. At this point they should just stop giving out first impression roses on “The Bachelor” because they’re nothing but stinkweeds.

Greer got the consolation prize of being told she was “an incredible woman” and a couple of hugs. Welcome to Budapest!

Speaking of one-on-ones, there are two types when it comes to second dates: the ones that shore up relations with a frontrunner, which is what Kaity got; and the ones where you take out someone on the bubble, which is what Brooklyn got.

It’s not a hot tub, but Zach and Brooklyn Willie share some water kisses.

All the bike riding, the hot air balloon riding, the smooching in the pool of yet another bathhouse as people clapped and yelled “Kiss! Kiss!” (also totally not rigged by “Bachelor” producers) was for naught.

At their non-dinner, Brooklyn got emotional talking about the family she expected him to meet, including her mom and the dirt bike-riding grandpa who raised her after her father skedaddled and who, let’s be honest, might have given Gabby’s Grandpa John a run for his money.

Zach excused himself from the table and was this one of those drama-inducing fakeouts?

It wasn’t. An emotional Zach told Brooklyn that her family “know the love that you do deserve,” but there was something blocking his connection with her and “I want you to know that you do deserve the love I can’t give you.”

They parted with tears on both sides while, back at the hotel, the other women cried and group-hugged when Brookyn’s suitcase was taken away.

Despite last week’s disagreement between Brooklyn and Kat, the women are obviously close, which explains I guess why we never got a two-on-one this season: not enough animosity in the house, fake or otherwise.

There was nothing left but the rose ceremony and don’t tell me you’re surprised that Kat got sent home, and Charity and Ariel got the last two roses.

“Why?” Kat asked Zach.

Despite their strong connection in the Bahamas — which if I’m being honest seemed mostly physical to me — “over the past couple of weeks it changed and I couldn’t see a confident future in us,” Zach said.

There was another teary handoff to the van of doom and, after Kat was driven off complaining “It’s not fair,” host Jesse Palmer came out to hug and comfort Zach. And maybe I’m a sucker, but I found that very touching.

Next week is a twofer, with hometowns (and a couple of very protective brothers, oh boy) on Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and “Women Tell All” Tuesday at 8 p.m. You can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor recap: Naked greed for Kat, an early exit for Jess

February 28, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Aly, Brooklyn, Gabi, Kaity, Jess and Kat on a group date in Estonia with Zach and a witch.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

Naked bodies at a nude sauna in Estonia weren’t the only things exposed on Monday’s episode of “The Bachelor.”

The shallowness of some of Zach Shallcross’s supposed “connections” was also revealed when Jess Girod went home early.

Sure, Jess sounded like a broken record when she kept repeating that she was the only one left without a one-on-one date (actually, Greer hadn’t had one either, but Greer was out of commission with COVID-19), but Jess had a point.

Zach basically told her that one-on-ones aren’t important, but that’s nonsense: they are.

It’s not unprecedented for a woman to make final four without a one-on-one — Corinne Olympios did it on Nick Viall’s season — but it’s pretty rare, as is getting to hometowns when you’re the last person to get an individual date.

So Jess had reason for concern. What was really interesting was watching Zach keep reassuring Jess that he was “confident about us” as she cried and expressed her fears, and then watching him tune out when she wouldn’t stop talking about wanting a one-on-one.

And suddenly it was “I’m not feeling that confident” from Zach.

Zach ran out of patience with Jess Girod’s desire for a one-on-one date.

“I’m not begging for you, I’m not doing that,” Jess told Zach tearfully before he walked her out.

After, as a van took her away, Jess asked, “If it’s someone I wanna marry wouldn’t I want to feel like he wants to take me on a date? So for him to be shocked that I’m, like, hurt is crazy to me.”

Yes, us too, Jess.

Zach cried after Jess left and was supposedly so broken up that he ended the group date after-party without giving out a rose. Why all the emotion for someone he’d only ever gone on group dates with? Who knows?

Speaking of dates, Charity finally got her one-on-one after it was cancelled in London, England, when Zach got COVID.

(And speaking of COVID, I have questions. If Greer only talked to Zach through a video screen, whom did she get COVID from? And if she had it, how come none of the other women did?)

But not so fast! Zach had been locked away in his room and Kat had to make up for lost time! So she whisked Zach into the hallway before he and Charity could set off to coo at and kiss him.

“Call me greedy, but I don’t care,” she told Zach.

OK, you’re greedy. And she very much cared when she was called out for stepping on Charity’s moment.

Gabi noted that Zach had lip gloss on his lips when he came back into the hotel suite “which I don’t think he applied himself.”

After Kat burbled about how much she had missed Zach, Aly told her, “If that would have happened before my date it would have messed me up in the head.”

Brooklyn was more blunt and I’m here for it. She described Kat’s steal as tactless and selfish, and then Kat started complaining about “offensive words” being used and I’m sorry, but get over yourself. More on all this later.

Zach and Charity Lawson take a carriage ride through Tallinn, Estonia.

Back to Charity’s date. It wasn’t a princess date, but she and Zach tooled around picturesque Tallinn in a horse-drawn carriage.

Not quite as romantic: entering the “wife-carrying” race they, ahem, just happened to stumble on, which involved Zach running an obstacle course while carrying Charity on his back — with her face in his ass.

The friendly Estonian who invited them to enter the race told them it was a really popular sport and I was pretty skeptical but, unless Google is punking me, there are even wife-carrying world championships held in Finland, which Estonia has won a bunch of times. Go figure.

Charity also got to partake in more dignified local customs like drinking booze that made her gag, sampling sweet almonds — what is Zach’s obsession with tossing food into the women’s mouths? — and marzipan.

That was all just the appetizer for the confessional main course.

The women have regularly revealed past relationship trauma on the dinner portion of the one-on-ones and Charity was no different.

She told Zach she had been emotionally abused, cheated on and manipulated in her previous relationship and it was still clearly very hard for Charity to talk about.

Points to Zach for holding her hand and comforting her. Points taken away for him comparing his experiences to hers, saying he too had lost himself in his previous relationship.

First off, I hope he’s not still talking about Rachel Recchia. Secondly, I don’t think that not being able to remember your favourite music is in the same ball park as emotional manipulation. Third, isn’t that kind of comparison of dissimilar situations exactly what Zach got mad at Greer for?

Alas, Charity got the date rose and said she was “100 per cent falling for Zach.” I foresee heartbreak in her future.

The group date was next. There always seems to be at least one “woo woo” date when “The Bachelor” visits a foreign country and this was it.

Zach, Kaity, Brooklyn, Jess, Kat, Gabi and Aly with an Estonian witch.

Brooklyn, Kaity, Kat, Gabi, Aly and Jess met up with Zach and an Estonian grand witch whom the show didn’t even bother to name with a chyron. And, of course, she was there to help them find love and to cleanse negative energy, a hard chore as Brooklyn continued to glower at Kat.

“There’s not enough sage in the world to cleanse Kat,” said Brooklyn after Zach wafted burning clumps of sage over the women. “If she was sage herself still wouldn’t help.”

Also of note, during an exercise in which Zach stared into the women’s eyes through a candle flame, the candle went out when it was Jess’s turn. As the witch said, “Oops.”

Since we already know how the group date ended, let’s turn our attention back to the Brooklyn and Kat feud.

Kat continued to insist she was justified in stealing Zach before Charity’s date because all bets were off once he got COVID. But as Ariel very sensibly pointed out, “I don’t think respect ever shifts, though.”

Kat’s retort to Brooklyn, who accused her of being classless and disrespectful, was that it was up to Charity to call Kat out, not Brooklyn. But when Charity tried to have a post-one-on-one conversation about it, Kat declined because she didn’t want to ruin the group date.

“You have your head up your ass,” Brooklyn said, and I couldn’t agree more. Also, “if the shoe fits then light that bitch up.”

Here’s my issue: of course certain women are going to steal time when they can; it’s part of the game. And I also realize we’re only seeing the edit of Kat’s reactions, so maybe she abjectly apologized to Charity and we missed it.

Where Kat lost me is when she made herself the victim. Boo hoo, Brooklyn is saying mean things to me. If you do something that you know is going to piss people off, own it and accept the consequences.

OK, moving on to Ariel’s one-on-one date.

Speaking of being disrespectful, how ridiculous that the producers sent Zach and Ariel to a nude sauna just so they could titter over the fact there were naked people there (while keeping their bathing suits on). Their guide Laura explained that traditional saunas are sacred in Estonia, but there was nothing reverent about the way in which Zach and Ariel approached the experience.

Ariel and Zach are joined by nude people at the nude sauna. Wow, imagine that.

They laughed and joked through the pre-sauna relaxation ritual and, once in the sauna, sniggered at the sight of two middle-aged bodies. It was pretty rude.

During the meal portion of the date, Ariel was set up as the potential dark horse of the season. “I feel like she could be my best friend,” Zach said, which in his lexicon equates to wife.

But then he had to go and do exactly what he did to Charity: when Ariel told him that she’d had many heartbreaks and had “kind of stopped loving myself” through them, Zach responded that he had similar experiences. “My fear is losing myself,” he said. I’m sorry dude, but it’s not all about you, even if you are the Bachelor.

Ariel is lovely. I’m not loving Zach much after this episode.

Next up was the rose ceremony and I really am grateful we’re getting a rose ceremony at the end of every episode.

Kat was the locus of the cocktail party drama. When Charity tried once again to talk to her about the pre-date steal, Brooklyn interrupted and Kat walked out to go and sniffle all by herself about how she kept getting “pushed down.”

What? You thought Kat Izzo wasn’t going to get a rose from Zach?

And wouldn’t you know that was the moment Zach came to find her? Would she tattle on Brooklyn? She did not, but Zach told Kat something felt “a little off” between them on the witch date, which set up the false narrative that Kat might get sent home.

She didn’t, of course. Aly got dispatched while Gabi, Kaity and Brooklyn also got roses.

So seven women are going into next week’s adventures in Budapest, vying for the coveted hometown dates. That includes Greer, who will make her post-COVID return. Not that it’s going to help her much.

Who’s that pulling away in a van in the promo? And who’s got Zach crying?

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor recap: Pip, pip, oh no, as Zach gets COVID in London

February 21, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Jess, Brooklyn, Mercedes, Kat, Kaity, Aly, Kylee and Ariel, next to a royal guard, on a Zach-less group date. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

Forget Brexit, how about a vexit?

Two of the women who joined Bachelor Zach Shallcross in London, England, on this week’s episode got sent away during a virtual rose ceremony, the franchise’s first. There was to be no union, European or otherwise, for Mercedes and Kylee after Zach handed out his roses over a video screen.

Why virtual? Zach got COVID . . . or so we were told.

One does wonder why, if he tested positive just two days after he and Gabi were snogging — yes, snogging, not snugging, Kat — all over London she didn’t have to isolate as well.

Be that as it may, Gabi got the only in-person quality time with Zach all week, unless you count Kaity talking to him through the door of his hotel room.

And Gabi got the Cinderella date to boot, upgraded to queen for a day since they were in the U.K.

Zach and Gabi Elnicki sample scents made for famous folks at Floris.

It began with a visit to Floris, perfumer to the royal family and other mucky-mucks — apparently the scent created for Winston Churchill smelled “old man-y” according to Zach. Is that better or worse than smelling like “Sour Patch Kids” or “Christmas with a little bit of weed,” which is how Gabi described some of the scents they sampled as they created their own bespoke perfume, which they named, um, Zabi.

Zach and Gabi get a visit from some royally pedigreed corgis.

Next up, Grant Harrold, former butler to King Charles III, treated Zach and Gabi to a royal afternoon that included sipping the queen’s cocktail (Dubonnet and gin, Google tells me), trying on tiaras and hats, cavorting with corgis apparently descended from the royal bloodline, enjoying high tea and playing dress-up with what I presume were designer gowns.

This allowed Gabi to reveal that she had struggled with body image issues, but Zach’s reactions to the dresses she tried on were making her feel “the most special I’ve ever felt in my life.”

She chose a frothy, blue confection to wear to dinner, which Zach declared “insane.”

Gabi picks a dress to wear to dinner on her one-on-one.

The real fun came when Gabi returned to the women’s hotel suite, laden with bags of swag, including Jimmy Choo sandals.

You didn’t need Edward from Floris to tell you the scent in the room was envy with a top note of tears.

That was especially true for first impression rose winner Greer, who felt that the fact she loves tea entitled her to a one-on-one in London.

She cried enough tears to fill a teapot and I’m talking about a big-ass Brown Betty.

Now, I know Greer isn’t a fan favourite because of tweets she wrote in 2016 defending blackface, but I confess to being a bit puzzled at the seeming trend to consign first impression rose winners on “The Bachelor” to group date hell.

Nice touch by the producers, though, setting up Greer’s meltdown in front of the door to Gabi’s room. Gabi had to get Greer and Charity, who was comforting Greer, to move as she swished past with her bags of loot. Way to rub “dirt in the wound,” to use Greer’s words.

Gabi’s dream date wasn’t over since she still had dinner with Zach ahead of her. I’m not sure what venerable old building they were in, just that it had lots of wood, mullioned windows and candlelight, but Zach assured Gabi he knew things wouldn’t always be this “extravagant.”

Zach and Gabi enjoy a swanky pretend dinner.

“Who’s the person you want to wake up every morning and do life with?” Zach said.

“I had the experience last season where I thought I knew someone and then learned I didn’t. That was devastating to me. I want that long-lasting love.”

Oooh, another dig at Rachel Recchia!

“I think it’s the little things that make somebody feel so loved,” replied Gabi.

Like, say, Zach making her feel beautiful just by looking at her.

Zach told Gabi she was so beautiful it was insane, which appears to be the word of the week. And he was sorry she hadn’t always felt that way. And she was beautiful inside and out …

And just hurry up already, give her the rose and then you can go dance and kiss to UB40 — yes “Red Red Wine” UB40 — performing “(I Can’t Help) Falling in Love With You.”

So the next day was the group date with Brooklyn, Kat, Aly, Kaity, Ariel, Kylee, Jess, Mercedes and Greer, which is when the wheels came off the double decker bus.

Instead of Zach, host Jesse Palmer showed up with a card, clearly not in Zach’s handwriting, saying he was “a little under the weather” but to enjoy the date and he’d see them soon.

Enjoy? Ha!

Kylee grumbled, “You weren’t too sick to stay up all night with Gabi. You’re not gonna be too sick to go on a one-on-one with Charity tomorrow.”

From left clockwise, Aly, Brooklyn, Greer, Kat, Ariel, Mercedes, Kaity, Kylee and Jess pose on the bus.

“Today sucks,” complained Kaity after they had piled onto a double decker bus for a tour of the city. Ariel said the bagpiper playing “Amazing Grace” in the cold “sounded like a funeral.” And it rained, although one wonders why they didn’t just move inside the bus, you know, to the other level, as in double decker?

Guzzling pints in the Grapes pub did wonders for their moods, though. (Fun fact, it’s one of the oldest pubs in London, according to its website. Charles Dickens used to hang there and actor Ian McKellen is one of the leaseholders.)

Mercedes follows the well-worn path of other annoying tourists in London.

They were feeling perky enough to squish into an old red phone booth — “Who farted?” — eat fish and chips (Mercedes smelling hers first was kind of priceless), and tease a fellow dressed as a royal guard with annoying questions and twerking. Was he really a royal guard? Unclear. He did appear to be standing in front of the Indonesian embassy, but would a royal guard be caught on camera contemptuously raising his eyebrow as the women walked away?

Anyway, the ladies had their game faces and fanciest duds on as they awaited Zach at the after-party only to have a gentleman in a bow tie and dinner jacket deliver a “message from Zachary.”

Yup, still sick, not coming.

If the women were concerned for Zach’s health at this stage, we didn’t see it.

Kat and Kaity cried. Kylee wondered “what is even the point?” Brooklyn said that “selfishly I feel stood up.” Greer doubled down and said she’d been stood up twice.

They consoled themselves by all taking a petal from the discarded date rose.

It was pretty obvious by this point that Charity wasn’t going to get her one-on-one the next day, which she described as “like a toy dangling in my face” that she really wanted. “I don’t know why this happened,” she said.

Well, because Zach got diagnosed with COVID-19, according to Jesse.

It was Zach’s worst nightmare, Jesse said, apparently not because he had a disease that can sometimes be lethal, but because he was losing “quality time” with the women. Priorities, am I right?

Greer managed to muster up, “I just hope he’s OK.”

Kaity, who’s a nurse, was ostensibly so concerned about Zach being all alone in his room with his mind racing — and maybe, I don’t know, feeling sick? — that she took a gift basket to Zach’s room, which was obviously all about making Zach feel better and not about solidifying her position as a front-runner.

Nurse Kaity brings Zach a gift basket because souvenirs are what COVID patients really want.

After a cursory “how are you doing?” she launched into monologue about how not knowing when she’d see Zach again “has taken a toll on me because I’m here for you,” and “I’m just scared that momentum is gonna fall flat” and “I see a future with you.”

Hell of a door-side manner, that Kaity.

Zach assured her he was excited she was there and he saw “something with you,” which sounds a little vague to me, but Kaity was happy enough to leave him the hell alone.

The answer to Jesse’s earlier question — “How do we move forward?” — was the answer many of us came up with during the pandemic: do it on video.

So Zach held a video cocktail party, speaking to the women individually from the screen of a tablet.

I won’t bore you with the inanities of the various chats, except to say that Charity was gifted with a replica of Big Ben that some production lackey obviously bought and hid behind a pillow in the room where Zach held virtual court.

Greer talks up her chances with Charity and Brooklyn before her disaster of a chat.

Greer’s turn came and wow, awkward. First she sat too far away from the tablet; then she said she was glad she couldn’t see herself onscreen because she’d probably just look at herself instead of Zach. And when she tried to commiserate by comparing Zach missing dates because of COVID to her missing her sales goal because of COVID, Zach seemed to take offence.

Finding his future wife “means a lot more to me than the end of a sales quarter,” he chided Greer.

If I were Greer I would figure I was going home too, but when Zach virtually handed out his roses — looking solemn on a large screen as the women picked them up from a basket on a table — Greer got the last one. Go figure.

Kaity, Charity, Aly, Kat, Brooklyn, Jess and Ariel also got roses, so nine women are moving on to wherever they end up next week.

The end-of-episode promo previewed the rest of the season rather than the next episode and it looks like there might be some non-fantasy suite hanky panky in Zach’s future, although these things can be deceiving.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor recap: Instagram claims its first victim of the season

February 14, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Zach Shallcross with dates Jess, Gabi, Kaity, Aly, Charity, Greer, Kylie, Anastasia, Ariel, Genevie, Davia and Mercedes before the trouble began. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. Also Instagram, you never, ever, ever, ever talk about Instagram.

Anastasia found that out on Monday’s episode of “The Bachelor” when she became the second woman to be dispatched so Zach Shallcross can maintain a drama-free zone. (Looks like his luck might run out on that point next week.)

Anastasia’s first sin was getting aggressive on what was supposed to be a chill beach group date after Zach and his harem decamped to the Bahamas – which host Jesse Palmer, the new spokesman for the Bahamas tourism board, tells us is “one of the most beautiful and one of the most romantic places in the entire world.”

And by aggressive, I don’t mean physical, although Anastasia suggested that Kylee was ready to put up her dukes after the two got into a verbal tussle over time with Zach.

Anastasia Keramidas learned that it isn’t always better in the Bahamas.

Basically, Anastasia scooped Zach up for some alone time on the beach during said group date; Kylee got jealous and tried to interrupt; Anastasia asked for more time with Zach; Kylee said, “Please just let me have him, I don’t like to fight but”; Anastasia replied, “I’m definitely not gonna fight you” and then proceeded to tell everyone who would listen that Kylee had been spoiling for fisticuffs.

I mean it feels ridiculous even writing all that out.

Kylee got her revenge at the afterparty when she told Zach that Anastasia had been overheard talking about how many Instagram followers she was going to gain being on “The Bachelor.”

Alert! Alert! Alert! Somebody is not here for the right reasons!

Zach checked the story with Charity, who seems like a pretty straight arrow and had indeed heard Anastasia say that the 14 women who were still around would get at least 50,000 Instagram followers apiece, which doesn’t seem like enough to get excited about, but fine.

Anastasia got a stay of execution at the afterparty, but Zach sent her packing on rose ceremony night right at the beginning of the cocktail party, despite Anastasia protesting her innocence.

This does not seem like a big deal — despite how much it made Kylee cry, go figure — because Anastasia never seemed like more than group date fodder.

What seems more concerning is how many women Zach is getting “excited” about, his new favourite word. I know it’s only Week 4, but he does realize he can only pick one, right?

Let’s see: Zach was excited about Kat after a “very exciting” one-on-one date; he was excited about Kylee; he was excited about Kaity; he was excited about Brooklyn; after chatting with Gabi, he said he was “excited about all the connections I have.” He was also excited about Ariel but, judging from those smooches and the way they were blowing on those conch shells, I think it was a given.

“You didn’t play conch in your school band?” Zach asked, although it came out sounding like “cock.”

“I didn’t, I was a virgin,” Ariel replied.

Ba dump bum.

So what excited Zach about Kat, his first one-on-one of the episode?

First a digression: Kat getting the date card and tactlessly blurting out that she and Zach would be in the water and it would be “very intimate” made Greer cry. And who could blame her? She got the first impression rose, but now Zach seems to have forgotten who she is. My guess is she’s not going to make final four.

Kat Izzo and Zach get “intimate” with sunscreen on a catamaran.

But back to Kat. Zach said Kat looks like a model and “I’m like, I never dated a model.” Also, she has SPFing skills, judging from the time they spent smoothing sunscreen on each other. And she enjoys awkward dancing.

But oh no, what if Kat’s dinnertime confession drove Zach away? Are you ready? She had . . . an unhappy upbringing and left home at one point because of her bad relationship with her mom. That’s it?

Look, I don’t mean to minimize Kat’s obvious pain over this, but when is this show going to stop acting like everybody who didn’t have a perfect childhood needs to be ashamed of it? Sometimes parents suck, it’s not the kids’ fault.

Obviously Zach didn’t banish Kat over this and you’ve got to give the guy credit for being both emotionally intelligent and articulate. “I want to love my person for who they are, not for what they came from,” he said.

Kat got the date rose and copious smooches, but then Zach said that kissing Kat was “like two meteors just perfectly colliding and creating a star,” which makes zero sense. Cue the fireworks.

So we’ve already discussed the group date which, besides Anastasia’s and Kylee’s dust-up, was notable for Gabi’s shellfish allergy.

Since a lot of what was being consumed on the beach was shellfish, Gabi worried that she wouldn’t get noticed by Zach since she couldn’t participate in activities like conch fritter tossing. “I literally can’t kiss Zach because he had shellfish,” she said tearily.

Where is Shanae with a bowl full of shrimp when you need her?

Speaking of conch, the group date rose went to Ariel.

Brooklyn Willie gets the action date on “The Bachelor.”

Zach’s second one-on-one was with Brooklyn and it was a pretty standard driving ATVs and smooching on the beach outing.

Zach said he wanted Brooklyn to open up and he got his wish at dinner, when she told a harrowing story about being in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship for six years with a man just like her father. (Apparently ABC warned viewers that discretion was advised before Brooklyn’s story, although I didn’t see the warning here in Canada.)

“I was a shell of the person I was,” Brooklyn said. “I woke up one day and I was like, no, this can’t define me. I truly believe if I wouldn’t have just woke up and got out I can literally guarantee I would not be sitting here right now.”

Zach told Brooklyn how sorry he was she had gone through that. “You are so fucking tough,” he said. And I think she would have to be to escape the abuse and rebuild her self-esteem the way she apparently has.

After Zach handed over the rose they danced and kissed as an apparently nameless man sang and played guitar.

Then it was rose ceremony time.

Once he’d sent Anastasia home, Zach wasted no time doling out kisses to favourites like Charity and Kat.

Kylee Russell chats up Zach on the group date, before the deluge of tears.

Kylee cried a lot after Anastasia left, initially because she said she didn’t want to be the cause of someone going home — although what did she think was going to happen after she told Zach about the Instagram stuff? — but really because she was afraid she would be collateral damage in the drama.

She wasn’t the only one getting teary. Davia could sense her connection with Zach dwindling. She made a valiant effort to rekindle, but when Zach talked about their “fast, hot connection” in the past tense and gave her a kiss that seemed more polite than passionate, it was clear it was time for Davia to join the “Bachelor in Paradise” talent roster.

Despite Kylee’s carrying on — at one point she told Mercedes she was going to self-eliminate because she couldn’t handle the rose ceremony — she got her damn rose. So did Charity, Kaity, Gabi, Jess, Mercedes, Aly and Greer, leaving Davia and Genevie to go home.

Next week, the chosen 11 head to London with Zach, where Jesse shares “some really bad news” that leaves everybody crying and Jesse saying, “The million dollar question now is what are we gonna do?”

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Bachelor recap: Fantasy suite night at the museum

February 7, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Bachelor Zach Shallcross and his dates before the wheels fell off the pool party.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

There were two questions to be answered after Monday’s episode of “The Bachelor”: Is Christina Mandrell a mean girl or a misunderstood girl? And did Zach Shallcross and Kaity Biggar jump each other’s bones during their night at the Natural History Museum?

Well, OK, maybe three questions: If the episode’s musical performer is a cousin of the host does that make them a nepo baby? A nepo cuz, at least?

The episode was bookended by some (manufactured) drama and also saw a couple of women crash and burn — luckily not on the skydiving date — but only one of them decided to burn someone else on her way out. More on that later.

First things first: the “Bachelor” producers apparently have so little faith in their ability to keep viewers interested this season that they opened the episode with both gratuitous shower footage of Zach and a FaceTime call with Sean Lowe, although it’s beyond me why you’d want to keep reminding everyone that your show is 1 for 26 (maybe soon 27) when it comes to your stars actually using the platform to find their spouses. (OK, maybe 24 and a half if you count Jason Mesnick and Arie Luyendyk Jr.)

Next it was time for host Jesse Palmer to stoke the hopes of the 17 women who were still around and immediately crush 16 of them by handing out the first one-on-one date card.

ER nurse Kaity was the recipient and got decked out in a slinky green dress so she could . . . walk around a museum looking at dinosaur skeletons and animal dioramas?

The other women, as much as they were all “so happy for you, Kaity,” couldn’t help but notice Zach’s hand resting on her knee when he came to the mansion to pick her up. Little did they know worse was yet to come.

Zach Shallcross and Kaity Biggar commune in the shadow of a dino.

Kaity herself described the museum date as the only romantic thing she had ever done in her life. And I know she’s only 27, but what?

When she told Zach that after seven years of a toxic, on-and-off relationship she just wanted to feel safe and to find “a good man to treat me right,” you kind of wanted to hug her.

This show makes a fetish out of vulnerability, but some of these women truly are vulnerable as hell.

The mood lifted when Zach — who kept whispering as if he was afraid of waking up the fossils — gave Kaity the date rose, then invited her to spend the night with him in a tent next to the elephant display. There were his and hers animal pyjamas and two camp cots, which they pushed together before zipping up the tent.

I guess what happened in the museum stays in the museum, for now anyway, but the other women were rattled when Kaity came home the next morning, still in her PJs, and talked about how romantic the date was.

“Did you get any sleep?” asked Gabi.

“Nope,” Kaity said.

That was the point, of course, to stress out the other contestants thinking Zach got intimate with Kaity. Why else would you put an overnight date in the third episode?

It was back to business as usual, however, with a football group date, the fifth instalment of the so-called “Bachelor Bowl.” It was the Shall-Crushers against the Ball-Zachs and, honestly, the latter should have won for the name alone.

Ariel, Christina, Kylee and Kat of the Ball-Zachs prepare to kick off Bachelor Bowl V.

Despite an ambulance being called when Anastasia took a dive, there were no injuries unless you count Gabi’s pride when she peed her pants a little on national TV.

The Ball-Zachs did indeed win and got to enjoy an after-party with Zach while the Shall-Crushers slinked back to the mansion. Only two things of note happened.

Bailey, one of the women who first met Zach on “After the Final Rose,” decided she needed “validation” from him, but as soon as she told him things were feeling “weird” to her and “regressing a little bit,” he rapidly agreed.

“I’m just not confident there is a future between us,” Zach told her.

“I do feel, like, if we had more time together, like, we could get there,” Bailey responded.

Like, you’re on “The Bachelor,” sweetie. Even the women he really, really likes don’t get enough time.

Bailey’s departure upset the other women and was the beginning of the end for Christina.

Bailey says goodbye to the other women while Christina makes a sad(?) face in the background.

She had already been annoying her teammates by bringing up her one-on-one date. Sin No. 2 was to describe Bailey’s departure as “sad” but “inevitable.” Strike 3 came after Charity got the group date rose. As the other women told Charity how well-deserved it was, Christina blurted out that she was confused as well as mad that it didn’t go to her, punctuated with a “duh,” all of which appeared to make Charity cry.

Christina defended her faux pas as her “trying to be 100,” but Brooklyn and Kat countered that Christina was making things all about her.

Finally Brooklyn shut down the argument with a line that will live in “Bachelor” infamy — or at least in the highlights reel at “Women Tell All” — “Have you ever considered just literally shutting the fuck up?”

So was Christina deliberately trying to intimidate, and being manipulative and calculating, as Brooklyn said?

I don’t think so. She clearly sucked at reading a room, particularly one of exhausted and emotional fellow contestants, and it seems she never heard the expression “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Christina’s final reckoning was still to come. First there was a second one-on-one date to dispense with. If you were surprised it went to health-care strategist Aly, well, join the club.

She put on the wedding jumpsuit that the producers sent over and met Zach, dressed in a groom-like charcoal suit and white, open-necked shirt, next to a wedding bower — and I’m sorry, but these faux wedding dates are as boring as the football ones.

Zach to Aly Jacobs: “Will you jump out of this really scary plane with me?”

At least it wasn’t one of those stupid fake wedding shoots; Aly and Zach got dressed up to parachute out of a plane, because that worked so well for Rachel Kirkconnell on Matt’s season.

But you know, Zach is looking for his best friend — which is becoming the overused, meaningless phrase of the season — and, uh, best friends jump out of planes together?

Zach and Aly emerged unscathed to have dinner at the cool-looking Bradbury Building in downtown L.A. True confessions were on the menu.

Aly told Zach that she liked to be in control of everything to avoid the hurt of her past relationships and that she never put herself first in a relationship before, but she wanted to find “a safe space where I could put myself first but still be fully invested in you.”

Zach seemed down with that or at least down with getting to know the real Aly — it is only Week 3, people — and handed over the date rose.

Griffen Palmer gets to enjoy performing on “The Bachelor,” i.e. having the Bach and his date ignore you.

Then he had a surprise: Griffen Palmer was playing a song called “Second Chances.” Who dat? Why Jesse Palmer’s country singer cousin from Pickering. Look out folks, the Canadians are taking over.

Speaking of Jesse, he showed up at the mansion the next day to announce there would be no rose ceremony cocktail party . . . but there would be a pool party so run and put on those skimpy bikinis girls!

It was all fun and games and clandestine smooches until Brianna, a.k.a. America’s first impression rose winner, decided to tell Zach she was leaving.

No surprise here. It seemed obvious to me from Night 1 there was nothing cooking between Zach and Brianna, which I guess is what happens when you let “America” hand out the roses instead of the Bachelor. Yeah, great idea, Mike Fleiss.

But Brianna had a parting gift for Christina. She told Zach that their “connection didn’t get off the ground because of hard things I’ve been going through in the house” and that she felt intimidated by Christina, who made her cry several times.

Brianna Thorbourne has her exit interview with Zach.

So where is the footage of this intimidation? The only thing we saw, in Week 2, were receipts of Christina giving Brianna a back-handed compliment on the first night, which Brianna interpreted as hurtful.

Look, it’s always tricky when a white woman is accused of making a Black woman feel unsafe, but this reeked of production stoking Brianna’s insecurities and then manipulating her to throw Christina under the bus.

Whatever the case, Zach really wasn’t kidding when he told Brianna he didn’t like drama.

Christina defended herself as best she could, telling Zach her “outgoing and happy and loud” personality was rubbing people the wrong way, but she thought her conflicts with a couple of the other women had been settled and it would be a mistake to believe Brianna’s accusations.

And then she went and cried on the stairs.

Quite honestly, I figured Zach would go through the motions of debating whether to keep Christina and she’d get the final rose, and then we’d have a few more weeks of her pissing off Brooklyn and Kat and Kylee.

But nope, Christina was banished as Zach gave roses to Jess, Gabi, Ariel, Genevie — who showed up at the rose ceremony with a cast on her arm? what?!? — Greer, Kat, Kylee, Davia, Anastasia, Brooklyn and Mercedes.

So who’s gonna be the centre of the drama now? Don’t worry, looks like somebody is getting outed as a social media clout chaser next week.

Sorry, Zach, if you didn’t like drama you should have stayed home.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Edited because a reader — yay, I have readers! — emailed to point out that Jason Mesnick wasn’t the only one who married his runner-up.

Bachelor recap: Tahzjuan tries to ‘bad bitch’ her way into season

January 31, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Rapper Latto and Bachelor Zach Shallcross oversee a “bad bitch”-themed group date.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

Where does the “bad bitch” leave off and the “lame bitch” begin?

It seems like a valid question after watching Monday’s episode of “The Bachelor.” And it’s directed at the producers more than the women who are vying to win Zach Shallcross’s heart and/or a bump in their Instagram and TikTok followers.

I’ve got bad news for anyone hoping this episode would rise above the ennui that greeted the season premiere: there were three boring dates on Monday interspersed with several trumped up attempts at drama.

By and large the women who had survived the first rose ceremony seemed to be getting along, notwithstanding some of them comparing notes about whether Zach gave them tongue when they kissed him — nurse Katherine said Zach “likes the big tongue energy” and ewwww.

But obviously collegiality can’t be allowed to continue, not on this show. So a little surprise was cooked up to unsettle the women on the first of two group dates.

On the cringe scale the date was probably about a six or seven. Luckily no one had to sing or write poetry or, heaven forbid, smell anyone’s armpits.

The women — Brianna, Brooklyn, Katherine, Mercedes, Bailey, Davia, Cat, Genevie and Kylee — were driven to what looked like an empty strip club where rapper Latto (currently in the news for selling her panties on eBay) told them she was looking for some “bad bitch energy for Zach.”

So what does bad bitch energy mean in the Bachelor world? Uh, dancing around a bit; putting on funny hats and wigs, and gyrating some; making speeches about a time in their life that they were bad bitches, which the Urban Dictionary tells us is a confident, independent woman. Ironic no? Since “The Bachelor” has a knack for turning women into insecure, hot messes (I see you, Brianna).

Tahzjuan Hawkins, Victoria Fuller and Courtney Robertson with Zach and Latto.

The producers brought in some “bad bitch alumni” allegedly to inspire the group date contestants but mainly because they seem to think we’re all jonesing to see past competitors. So “Bachelor in Paradise” heat hater Tahzjuan Hawkins, “Paradise” villain Victoria Fuller and past “Bachelorette” winner (and skinny dipper) Courtney Robertson showed up to, well, not really do much of anything.

That is, until Tahz crashed the group date after-party, supposedly because she had taken such a shine to Zach — the “full package,” she called him — that she wanted to join the season.

And I’m sorry, but what?

Zach told Tahz he would think about it, a BS manoeuvre to freak the other women out while they waited to hear Zach’s decision. Tahz used that time to insult them, saying it was “painful to watch” some of them earlier in the day and they had missed their opportunity to really connect with Zach.

“You guys aren’t all gonna marry Zach,” Tahz said. Well, honey, you aren’t either.

The producers finally allowed Zach to return and cut Tahz loose. He then gave the group date rose to Katherine for, um, being the best kisser maybe?

That didn’t sit well with Brianna — America’s first impression rose winner — who was in her head about the fact she hadn’t yet got a rose from Zach.

We now know the real evil purpose of that “After the Final Rose” stunt, by the way. You thought it was meant to get viewers invested in the new season; turns out it was a tool to freak out the woman who won it.

Brianna cried in front of Zach and told him she considered going home since she didn’t think he cared if she stayed. He reassured her that he saw something in her and sealed it with a smooch — although considering how many women he was giving his “tongue energy” to, yeah, I’d be worried too.

Christina Mandrell got Zach’s first one-on-one of the season.

Next up was Christina’s one-on-one with Zach and what’s that? Your aunt is a famous country singer, but you’ve never seen a helicopter in person? Whatever.

So to what fabulous destination was the helicopter ferrying them? Zach’s childhood home, you say? A belated birthday party for his mother with 20 of his friends and family? Fine, but can we please stop pretending these early meet-the-family dates have any significance?

Zach’s family seemed nice. Any woman with a pulse and an ability to string words into sentences would have done fine in that milieu.

The real point of the date was for Christina to tell Zach about her five-year-old daughter, Blakely May. We were meant to think this would be a dealbreaker for Zach but, like, ABC, you know we’ve already seen Christina in future episodes in the season promo, right?

So Zach blustered a little about how scary it was and how he didn’t know if he was ready to be a dad, but he gave Christina the rose because she was “showing me signs of someone I really want to spend a long time with.” Ringing endorsement, huh?

Finally, the last group of women — Jess, Charity, Gabi, Aly, Ariel, Greer, Kimberly, Anastasia and Victoria J. — got their date and they got ripped off . There was no daytime activity, at least none that we saw: it was straight to the after-party.

Zach said he wanted to get to know all the women as much as he could, although “get to know” seemed to be a euphemism for smooching them all as much as he could — or at least, that’s how it was edited.

The only in-depth conversation seemed to take place with Jess, who challenged Zach to tell her something only she would know. He confessed that he was born with a condition called pyloric stenosis, which Google tells me is a blockage between the stomach and small intestine, and wasn’t expected to live. That was why he was so close to his mom, Zach said, getting emotional, and why “I feel this crazy sense of, like, purpose; I’m here for a reason.” So don’t pretend you’re surprised that Jess got the date rose.

Gabi Elnicki has her first non-maple syrup conversation with Zach.

The other significant conversation involved Gabi, the Vermont woman who made him drink maple syrup on Night 1, to his evident distaste. It was significant because she had not yet talked to Zach, other than their brief out-of-the-limo interaction, and also because she treated the chat like she was a contestant on “This Is Your Life” instead of “The Bachelor,” word vomiting (her term) as much as she could about herself in a short amount of time.

She also told Zach she wanted to give him a nickname, suggesting Zacharius, Zachy Poo or Zachy, which seemed to go down about as well as the maple syrup. She also didn’t get a kiss, so it seemed Gabi would soon be back to visiting farmers markets and cooking with her mom.

But nice fake-out Bachelor! During the rose ceremony cocktail party, Zach and Gabi talked again. Zach told her she gave him “giddy butterflies in my stomach”; she then gave him peanut butter cups, which they attempted to eat “Lady and the Tramp” style, resulting in a chocolatey peanut butter smooch.

So, with Gabi sorted, it was Brianna’s turn to spiral.

She said she hadn’t slept the night before because of anxiety. But rather than blame Mike Fleiss and his henchpersons for giving her America’s curse of a rose, she focused her unease on Christina, saying Christina made a “mean comment” to her on the first night and “I didn’t realize how much it hurt me until now.”

Brianna, hun, take a breath. Christina’s “mean comment” was actually a compliment. She said, “You look beautiful and I hate you, JK,” which means just kidding. Which producer put this nonsense into your head?

Brianna confronted Christina and said the comment made her feel like “I didn’t know if this was gonna be a safe environment for me, not only to find love but to make friends” and I am really trying to keep my eyes from rolling.

Christina apologized, but Brianna still went to Zach and complained that someone had made her uncomfortable, without naming names. And Zach, who said he doesn’t like drama, didn’t want to know the name, but he also told Brianna she seemed to have “a lot of walls up,” and his conversations with her had felt “very strict and serious” rather than fun. Ouch.

So the moral of the story, ladies: if they offer you a chance to meet the Bachelor on “After the Final Rose,” say no.

Brianna Thorbourne finally gets a rose from Zach instead of America.

Of course, this all meant that Brianna’s was the last name called at the rose ceremony, even though we all knew she was going to get one.

Zach also gave roses to Brooklyn, Genevie, Greer, Aly, Charity, Kaity, Gabi, Ariel, Anastasia, Kylee, Davia, Mercedes and Bailey, so 17 women are still in the hunt.

Alas, Cat went home, so we will be deprived of her wide-eyed facial contortions until “Women Tell All.”

Next week, Zach goes skydiving with someone; there’s a football group date and an overnight date (what, already?) with Kaity at a museum; and the house apparently gangs up on Christina.

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

The Bachelor recap: Night 1 tally, 4 nurses, 1 gravely wounded ego

January 24, 2023 / Debra Yeo

Zach Shallcross greets the women on Night 1 of Season 27 of “The Bachelor.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

The good news is that when the inevitable injury comes during a rough group date this “Bachelor” season there very well might be a nurse around to help with the first aid.

It seems to me we have never seen so many nurses in one cast before. Zach Shallcross kept all four of them around — neonatal nurse Genevie, ER nurse Kaity, registered nurse Katherine and postpartum nurse Kylee — when he handed out his 19 roses on Night 1 of Season 27 (holy hell, we’ve been watching this damn show for 27 seasons?).

Luckily, there were no injuries among the 30 hopefuls during that first all-night cocktail party — unless you count Madison’s wounded pride.

Good lord, but the “business owner” from Fargo, North Dakota, could not stop throwing herself at Zach or taking polite indifference for an answer.

First she dove onto Zach’s lap when she and some of the other women invited themselves onto Christina’s party bus (more on her later). Then Madison spent her one-on-one time wrapping an uncomfortable looking Zach in a scarf, toque and blanket because it’s cold in North Dakota (but not so much in Agoura Hills, Calif., in the fall when the show was filmed).

Since she didn’t get the kiss she was so longing for, Madison interrupted another woman’s time to double dip, making Zach do the Griddy with her — which looked as horrific as it sounds — and finally just grabbing his cheek and forcing a kiss, which went about as well as you would expect.

“The kiss felt wrong,” said Zach. No shit.

The underwhelming “peck” sent Madison into a crying jag. And there was more crying when she didn’t get the first impression rose — it went to Greer, a medical sales rep from Houston who lives in New York.

But Madison was not done humiliating herself. When host Jesse Palmer announced that the cocktail party was over, Madison interrupted his pre-rose ceremony chat with Zach to gauge Zach’s intentions AS IF THEY WEREN’T ALREADY STARING HER IN THE FACE.

Madison after stealing Zach away from Jesse Palmer, but nope, not forcing things.

” I don’t want to force things and I want things to come natural,” she told Zach, which was the opposite of what she’d been doing all night.

Zach let her down as gently as he could. “I’m sorry, I don’t see a future with us, but I still think you’re awesome,” he said as Madison’s smile froze on her face. After a hug, she went sobbing into the sunrise.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the debacle was the subtle shade Zach tossed at Rachel Recchia when, in his voice-over, he said he didn’t get the “honesty and clarity” he was extending to Madison in his “Bachelorette” experience.

So who did Zach vibe with?

Well, Greer, obviously.

Leaving aside the fact she talked about herself in the third person in her intro package — “Greer is bold, Greer doesn’t take shit, Greer is kind” — she bonded with Zach over their parents’ long marriages and their shared love of Houston, where Greer said she wants to end up.

She seems nice enough, although I do not for one second believe she brought Zach a cup of coffee, still hot, all the way from New York.

Greer Blitzer hands Zach a coffee she allegedly brought from New York, a six-hour-plus flight away.

The coffee might not have been hot, but Greer’s kisses obviously were. Zach went in for two extended smooching sessions with her, to the discomfort of the other women, who insisted on watching.

He also puckered up for Bailey, a Nashville executive recruiter whose name he forgot when he met her on “After the Final Rose,” kissing her right out of the limo.

Speaking of limo entrances, none of them were exactly boffo, unless you count pig farmer Mercedes (ABC says she’s actually a non-profit case manager) showing up with an adorable porker named Henry, or content creator Christina, who is definitely trouble, being ferried in on a party bus.

Brianna, the Jersey City entrepreneur who won “America’s first impression rose” in a silly “ATFR” stunt, played the part by showing up in a red dress with roses on it, although she insisted to Zach she was there for his heart, not for the rose. I didn’t exactly feel sparks flying, so we’ll see.

There were definitely sparks with Kaity who, like Zach, lives in Austin. Sure she made an “everything’s bigger in Texas” dick joke, but then she told Zach she felt like “the luckiest girl in the world” sitting next to him, so of course he leaned in for a kiss.

Christina Mandrell accepts a rose from Zach.

At least single mom Christina, whose claim to fame besides her Instagram and TikTok videos is being the niece of country singer Barbara Mandrell, took Zach away from prying eyes for their smooch on the party bus. Unfortunately, that kiss was the only thing they agreed on in a flash-card compatibility questionnaire but, in Zach’s defence, dinosaurs vs. dragons, that’s a really hard call!

We already know Christina will raise some hackles later this season and has copped to being the woman in the promo clip sobbing facedown on some stairs.

Zach also laid some smooches on my favourite contestant so far, Charity, a child and family therapist from Columbus, Georgia, who seems to have a great attitude. There’s already a campaign to make her Bachelorette if she doesn’t get with Zach and I’m there for it.

I would not have picked out e-commerce co-ordinator Jess from Florida as an early kiss recipient. She was really, really nervous and a little awkward although, come to think of it, I guess that was kind of endearing to Zach.

Zach with neonatal nurse Genevie Mayo: not even engaged yet and already playing daddy.

Zach didn’t kiss nurse Genevie, but at least he seemed to get a laugh out of the fake baby she brought for him to diaper.

But was he really having “a blast” with New York dancer Cat, who engaged him in a contest to see who could stuff the most meatballs into their mouth? (Where is Meatball when you need him?) Well, Zach did say that he himself is “fucking weird” and would welcome weirdness in a woman, and with Cat he seems to have got his wish.

And that’s kind of it really. It was a pretty low-key first night. The women seemed mostly supportive of each other. Even Madison’s shenanigans didn’t elicit more than a “what the fuck?” comment from Brooklyn, the rodeo racer from Oklahoma.

But you know, the season is young and there are lots of tears to come, both his and hers.

I was one of the people who was unenthused about Zach as Bachelor, but I’m reserving judgment for now. We’ll see how the season goes.

At least Zach went off script a little. When Jesse asked him if he thought he might have met his wife, Zach hesitated and replied, “My gut instinct is actually telling me that I might have,” so not a yes then.

Let’s be real, he’s likely met his fiancee, best case scenario. Although if Zach really has met his wife, maybe Sean Lowe can take a break from being trotted out as the only successful Bachelor star to date and will never again have to teach another man how to rub his own bare pecs.

The next episode airs Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Tag: Bachelor recap (Page 1 of 3)

Bachelor finale recap: Another woman sacrificed to drama

Bachelor recap: Zach says no, then yes to sex and blabs about it

Bachelor recap: Things get sticky on Zach’s hometowns

Bachelor recap: Greer’s over COVID, Zach’s over her

Bachelor recap: Naked greed for Kat, an early exit for Jess

Bachelor recap: Pip, pip, oh no, as Zach gets COVID in London

Bachelor recap: Instagram claims its first victim of the season

Bachelor recap: Fantasy suite night at the museum

Bachelor recap: Tahzjuan tries to ‘bad bitch’ her way into season

The Bachelor recap: Night 1 tally, 4 nurses, 1 gravely wounded ego

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