Tag: Bachelor (Page 2 of 4)

Clayton’s Bachelor season ends with shock and righteous rage

March 16, 2022 / Debra Yeo

“Bachelor” host Jesse Palmer with Rachel Recchia and Clayton Echard.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ ABC

Let’s tell it like it is Bachelor Nation: we are in an abusive relationship with the Bachelor franchise.

On Tuesday night — which really was the most dramatic Bachelor finale ever — we got emotionally pummelled watching Clayton, and the show, completely disrespect his final two.

Then, after the catharsis of seeing Gabby and Rachel call out Clayton’s bullshit, we had to watch him get the happy ending he didn’t deserve.

And then ABC pulled out the equivalent of a makeup gift and made both Gabby and Rachel the new Bachelorette.

You want to talk about a journey? That was a seriously messed up roller-coaster ride. It was insidious and infuriating, and we all know we’ll be right back in front of our TVs come the new “Bachelorette” season.

We began the night in Iceland, where Clayton had decided that Susie Evans was the woman for him after all, making an absolute mockery of his claim to love Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia too.

And it wasn’t just Gabby and Rachel who were disrespected. When Susie was summoned by host Jesse Palmer to meet with Clayton, she had to do it at his parents’ rented Airbnb. Like, Clayton didn’t have a hotel suite they could use?

Luckily, Susie and Clayton had their conversation outside. Also luckily, she didn’t mince words telling Clayton how he made her feel when he angrily and coldly dismissed her after she objected to him having sex with Rachel and Gabby, and telling both of them he loved them.

“It was humiliating if I’m being honest,” Susie said. “I felt like a stray dog that had come into your home and you were shooing me out.”

Clayton was so sorry, he didn’t mean what he said, he was just scared of losing her, it was out of character, blah, blah, blah. He asked Susie for another chance and she told him she had to think about it.

So let’s take stock. Just days after breaking up with Susie and essentially begging both Gabby and Rachel to stay — in Gabby’s case, against her better judgment — Clayton was about to break up with them because he now knew his heart was with Susie.

Are we seriously supposed to believe that his heart wasn’t with Susie in the days leading up to fantasy suites? How was Clayton just coming to this realization now?

All season he’d been acting like a kid in a candy store, except instead of sweets he was gorging on women. Were fantasy suites about getting his fill before he had to pick just one?

Rachel and Gabby react to Clayton telling them his heart belongs to Susie.

To add insult to injury, Clayton broke up with Rachel and Gabby simultaneously, which surely wasn’t all his idea.

Yep, he walked into their hotel suite, told them he meant it when he said he loved them both and saw a future with them both, except “I realized it’s not feasibly possible for me to be in love with three women like I said I was.”

So in other words, he didn’t mean it.

Gabby grasped that right away.

“You asked me to stay because you were pissed and your pride was hurt because Susie left,” Gabby told him.

When Clayton protested that he did love Gabby, she snapped, “That is bullshit.”

She also scorched him for breaking up with her and Rachel together, saying, “You don’t give a fuck about us.”

When Clayton said he was sorry and asked to walk her out, she made a face like she’d just smelled something awful and said contemptuously, “No.” You could see the studio audience applauding and Grandpa John nodding in the inset at the bottom of the screen and it was glorious.

And then, in another demonstration of how much disrespect producers had for these women, Rachel’s exit was left hanging as the show cut to L.A. and Gabby was brought onstage.

There was a beautiful moment when Grandpa John got up to hug her, with tears in his eyes, and then she sat down to answer Jesse’s ridiculously obvious questions.

Gabby tells it to Clayton like it is on the live part of the finale.

When Clayton came out, Gabby did a marvellous job of cutting through his nonsense — “I’m incredibly sorry,” “I had love for you all,” etc. — by pointing out he was the opposite of transparent when he didn’t fess up to having told Susie he loved her the most, which would have been a deal breaker for Gabby.

“When you say you love someone you’re assuming responsibility to protect them, to care for them and to not hurt them, and you didn’t do any of those things,” she said as the audience applauded.

Like I said, glorious.

Back to Rachel in the Reykjavik hotel room. She was crying so hard that tears were literally dripping off her face, but the shoe dropped for her too. After Clayton, conspicuously dry-eyed, handed her into the SUV with the same stock line about being so sorry, she said, “I was in love, but he was never in love with me.”

Rachel cried again in the studio watching the footage, but she assured Jesse it wasn’t because she had any lingering feelings for Clayton. She had been blindsided and robbed of a chance to stand up for herself, she said.

She sure put that to rights when Clayton came onstage.

Rachel did not take one bit of crap from Clayton, not even a little bit.

“I became collateral damage in your journey for love,” Rachel told Clayton. “That was the most completely selfish journey.” Bang on, again.

Clayton sounded like he was reading off cue cards when he gave her a variation of the “I’m incredibly sorry” speech.

“I just don’t believe you,” Rachel retorted to applause.

Like Gabby, she blasted him for leaving out the part about loving Susie the most in his double declaration of love for Rachel and Gabby, asking him point blank, “Did you tell me you were in love with me because you wanted to sleep with me?”

Clayton said no, but you can draw your own conclusion.

And what of Susie, still in Iceland in our timeline?

After Jesse hand-delivered a syrupy letter from Clayton — “Without you I am nothing and with you I have everything” — Susie put on her glad rags and met Clayton in some house in the countryside as rain spit and wind whipped.

He showed her the diamond ring that was burning a hole in his pocket and vowed to prove his love to her if she gave him one more chance. And Susie said no thank you, basically telling him he was more into her than she was into him, and she was leaving Iceland alone and it was over, like over over.

Look, I don’t hate Clayton and I don’t get off on seeing people in pain, but it would have been a slap in the face if Susie had said yes. A man who can’t tell the difference between love, like, lust and lies — or worse, was following a script set out by reality TV producers — doesn’t deserve to get engaged.

So it was a shock and kind of a bummer to learn that Susie had gone back to him.

Susie and Clayton reunited and no, it doesn’t feel that good.

Clayton was blathering on to Jesse about how everything he did was because he was following his heart and he had become a better person because he learned so much. Maybe he even meant it, but I never got the sense he truly understood just what he put those women through.

But Susie said she loved him, and she’s a grown woman who can make her own decisions, even though I think her boyfriend is a tool.

Mercifully there was no surprise engagement, even though Jesse kept drawing attention to Neil Lane being in the audience, but Clayton did give Susie his final rose. And yeah, OK, fine. But if you’re expecting happy tears over that, you’re SOL.

I did, however, have happy tears over the Bachelorette announcement.

The most beautiful thing to come out of the shit show that was Part 1 of the finale was seeing the bond between Rachel and Gabby. So yeah, even though I have no idea how it’s going to work, I am totally cool with them sharing the next “Bachelorette” season.

Unfortunately, we don’t know what the franchise is going to throw at them, i.e. what kind of dorks it’s going to cast in the name of drama. But Rachel and Gabby have proven they’re capable of cutting through the BS, so fingers crossed they’ll be OK.

This has been a horrible season. Clayton was the worst Bachelor ever, no contest, and ABC had no business casting him. Was his lack of insight and self-awareness part of his charm for the producers? Or did it really come down to casting him because some grade school kids liked him?

It’s Door No. 1, I’m sure, but it’s basically a moot point because our collective outrage has only fuelled interest in the show.

Clayton, by clownishly claiming to love three women at the same time — so basically doing exactly what the format plays at — has made it blindingly clear just how ridiculous the format is. But I have no expectation that will lead to any substantial change. Unlike Clayton, the franchise hasn’t even said it’s sorry.

Oh, and one more kick in the pants: we learned that Kaitlyn Bristowe and Tayshia Adams are out as hosts of “The Bachelorette” and Jesse is coming back.

But yes, more fool us, we’ll watch anyway.

That’s it for me, recap-wise, until “The Bachelorette” starts on July 11. But I’ll still be posting my weekly Watchable lists. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Rachel and Gabby let Clayton off the hook and they’ll regret it

March 15, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Host Jesse Palmer with “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” alumni Michelle Young, Nick Viall and Clare Crawley on Part 1 of the live “Bachelor” finale. PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC

Clayton Echard might not get engaged — to be honest, I hope he doesn’t — Susie, Rachel and Gabby might all feel like chumps but hey, “The Bachelor” was the No. 1 trending topic worldwide Monday night, so at least ABC and Warner Bros. are getting their happy ending.

It’s pretty gross when you think about it. People were dying in Ukraine at the same time that millions of us were tuned into the equivalent of emotional torture porn on a reality show.

I’m not being holier than thou. I was watching and tweeting right along with everyone else, and now I’m writing about it.

This whole hideous season is coming down to a hideous two-part finale —the second half of “the most shocking finale in ‘Bachelor’ history” goes down tonight — and my guess would be that, if anything, it’s just emboldened the people who put the show together.

We hated that they chose Clayton as Bachelor; we hated “the Shanae Show”; we hated the way Clayton talked to Susie last week, but all of that just fuelled the show’s clout, so is it any surprise that Jesse sounded positively gleeful when he teased “the rose ceremony from hell” as the episode started?

And it was hellish.

Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia before Clayton dropped his bomb.

For some unfathomable reason, Clayton decided that after his relationship with Susie blew up — since she couldn’t accept the fact he had sex with both Rachel and Gabby, and had also told both that he loved them — he might as well be “1,000 per cent transparent” with the two who were still standing.

When Rachel and Gabby showed up for the rose ceremony, in the dramatic Harpa concert hall in Reykjavik, Iceland, Clayton said the words that have been teased all season long: “I am in love with both of you and I also was intimate with both of you.”

Stunned, Rachel and Gabby walked off in different directions. Rachel sat on some steps and sobbed, her anguish echoing through the hall, wiping her eyes so much she wiped the makeup right off her face. “I’ve never felt pain like this before,” she said.

Gabby had a cry too, and came back with questions for Clayton and also some observations, and they were really good ones.

Like, for instance, exploring relationships fully “is not definitively loving.”

Also, after Clayton told her he meant everything he said to her, “but how do you, like, back that up?”

“Because ultimately, like, whoever I pick I love the most,” Clayton said.

It’s a good thing Gabby hadn’t heard Clayton tell Susie that he loved her the most or her head would have exploded.

“I don’t think you just tell multiple women you love them thinking there would be no consequences,” Gabby said in her voice-over. Exactly! “For him saying the woman I walk out with is the woman I love the most, like wrong fucking answer.

“I don’t want to be loved the most, I just want to be loved for who I am.”

Speaking of love, I don’t think I have loved Gabby more than I did at that moment.

Rachel was also struggling to understand how Clayton could love three people at once but, given how head over heels she was for him, it wasn’t a surprise when, as the rose ceremony got back on track, she accepted the first flower from him without recrimination.

Rachel expresses her shock as Clayton walks Gabby out behind her.

But Gabby said no and I was so pleased for her. It’s too bad she didn’t just hightail it out of there. But she let Clayton talk to her and he somehow talked her into staying.

I have to pause here to defer to former Bachelor Nick Viall (yeah, I know), who was hauled onstage along with former Bachelorettes Michelle Young and Clare Crawley to comment on the spectacle unfolding. Nick said Clayton was “a guy focused on finding love for himself and not focused on finding love with someone else.” Also, “he never took the time to consider the position of power he’s in as the Bachelor.” Spot on Nick, spot on.

Back at the Harpa, Rachel was still trying to digest that fact that she would end up with Clayton by default rather than by design when Clayton and Gabby came back.

Gabby and Rachel share a moment of support.

And this is the moment that I will cling to as I watch the rest of this train wreck: Gabby walked up to Rachel, told her “I’m sorry to make you wait,” and they hugged, and Rachel asked Gabby if she was OK and rubbed her shoulder.

Clayton does not deserve either of these women, which made it hard to watch as each of them met his family. Clayton’s family seems perfectly nice, but it was tough to see Gabby and Rachel get strung along a little bit farther.

Furthermore, his dad Brian and mom Kelly were as unimpressed with him telling three women he loved them as everyone else.

“I don’t know how you could be in love with three people,” said Kelly.

“You have to understand, they don’t want to be second or third, they want to be first. They have a right to be upset with you,” said Brian.

“You have screwed the pooch, in my opinion.”

Kelly added that Gabby, who they were about to meet, seemed like a consolation prize. “I don’t know if the love of your life has gone.”

Hold that thought.

These are the faces of parents whose son has just told them he loves three women.

Things went as well as can be expected when the man who’s just ripped your heart out and stomped on it a little takes you to meet his family.

Alas, Gabby told Kelly she still trusted in her relationship with Clayton. “I’ve never met anyone as genuine and open-hearted as him.”

I guess we can agree on the open-hearted part, all things considered; too open-hearted.

Rachel, meanwhile, told Kelly straight up that Clayton was perfect for her. And she told Brian she’d never been in love “the way I am with him.”

So Mama and Papa Echard were all in on whichever one Clayton chose as their new daughter-in-law. And then came the twist that practically had Jesse peeing his pants as he introduced the next segment.

CLAYTON COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT SUSIE!

“I’ve just realized my heart, where it’s at,” Clayton told his folks. “Not to disregard what I have with Rachel and what I have with Gabby. It’s so special what I have with those women. It just was a little bit more special with Susie.”

THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU KEEP YOUR LIPS ZIPPED WITH GABBY AND RACHEL AND KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS?

Brian and Kelly did their best to convince Clayton the Susie ship had sailed, but along came Jesse to helpfully tell Clayton that Susie was still in Iceland. Because of course she was.

Host Jesse Palmer drops in on Clayton, his folks and his brothers.

And to add insult to injury, back in the studio, Jesse brought Rodney Mathews onstage, alongside Kaitlyn Bristowe and Cassie Randolph, the man who should have been Bachelor. Rodney is very much Team Clayton, but he did say that Clayton was “living in the moment a little too much.” Ya think?

I don’t believe “Bachelor” producers have yet figured out a way to infiltrate cast members’ brains and control their feelings, although it would not at all surprise me to hear they’d been using subliminal messaging to imprint the idea of falling in love with three women on Clayton.

Whether they knew or merely hoped he was going to want to reconcile with Susie, keeping her in Iceland instead of letting her go home was all part of the nefarious plan.

Since Jesse keeps saying he doesn’t know what happens, it seems likely Clayton and Susie aren’t going to kiss, make up and get engaged — maybe they agree to keep dating a la Cassie and Colton Underwood (and we all know how that turned out). It does seem clear that Rachel and Gabby are going to be discarded, which puts the lie to Clayton’s protestations of love for them.

Part 2 of this mess airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Clayton bonks his way to a breakup on ‘The Bachelor’

March 9, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Final three Susie Evans, Rachel Recchia and Gabby Windey ponder their fates on “The Bachelor.”
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos screen grabs

Monday’s fantasy suites episode of “The Bachelor” was like waiting for the train wreck that you knew was coming and, when it happened, it was worse than you thought it was going to be.

Not only did Clayton Echard tell his final three he was in love or falling in love with each of them, he also tried to have sex with all three of them. And when Susie foiled his plan by refusing to take Rachel’s and Gabby’s sloppy seconds (and thirds) Clayton turned into an entitled jerk right before our eyes.

As the episode ended, Susie was gone and distress was in store for Rachel and Gabby. We’ve known since before the season even started that Clayton was going to confess to having sex with both of them and, judging from the promos, their reactions to that are exactly what you’d imagine them to be.

Of course, we can’t pretend all the blame for Monday’s mess lies with Clayton.

It’s just too much of a coincidence that the one woman for whom Clayton having sex with someone else would be a deal breaker ended up getting the last of the three fantasy suite dates. I mean, I doubt producers stood over the beds urging Clayton and Rachel and Gabby to fornicate, but it was clearly what they hoped would happen.

Having the women stay together in the same suite, watching each other come back from spending the night with the same guy — particularly after Gabby said she was sorry “in advance” — was another nice bit of psychological manipulation.

And was it all Clayton’s idea to spread the L-word around so indiscriminately? Who knows?

The episode started with Clayton flying to Iceland, saying in his voice-over that he was falling in love with all of the women and might already be in love with Susie.

Obviously, a Bachelor claiming to be falling for multiple women is nothing new. It’s part of the Faustian bargain the leads make: they pretend to be racked with indecision about who to choose until the morning of the proposal.

But telling more than one woman you love them? Ask Ben Higgins and Arie Luyendyk Jr. how well that turned out.

I’ve always figured it was just play-acting, that the Bachelors knew weeks in advance whom they wanted to end up with. And if that was the case you would assume they wouldn’t go sampling the wares, so to speak, of the other two finalists.

So did Clayton really not know? Or is he just a horny guy who figured he’d never again get a free pass to sleep with multiple women?

Rachel and Clayton 400 feet beneath the surface of an inactive volcano.

His first date — a descent into an inactive volcano — was with Rachel. To be honest, I would have figured that for lust rather than love, given how incapable they’ve been of keeping their hands and lips off each other. But Clayton told Rachel he was falling in love with her at dinner. Then, after their night in the boom boom room, er, fantasy suite, he yelled “I love you too, Rachel!” as she bid him farewell from the balcony.

One down.

Gabby and Clayton spent the night in a yurt.

Next up was Gabby and they took a dune-buggy ride on a beach. Before checking into a yurt with floor-to-ceiling windows — let’s hope there were curtains to pull before they got busy — Clayton told Gabby he was falling in love with her and repeated it the next morning.

Two down.

Susie had been freaking out pretty much the whole episode, obsessing about what Clayton might be doing while alone with Rachel and Gabby. The producers even juxtaposed audio of her saying she was “spiralling emotionally” with video of her walking down a spiral staircase, because they just couldn’t help themselves.

“If I find out he’s falling in love with other women or he had become physically intimate with another woman, that would be devastating,” she said.

Clayton and Susie at the spa before the wheels came off.

So we had a pretty good idea of what was coming, even though the early part of the date, at the Sky Lagoon spa, went really well.

Clayton said his love for Susie was “on another level” and, at dinner, he told her how he felt.

Susie said she adored him in return, but she had “expectations I’m not willing to let go of.”

“Do you feel that same way with somebody else or have you, like, slept with another woman?” If so, “I think it would be impossible to move forward toward an engagement.”

The answer to both her questions was yes, but Clayton told Susie he was “the most in love” with her, which didn’t help.

He wanted them to go to the fantasy suite to talk things through. Susie said she was confused and walked away from the table.

By the time she came back to talk some more, Clayton Jekyll had turned into Mr. Hyde.

Susie said she felt awful and like she’d fucked everything up. Clayton just shook his head and told her she had “invalidated everything that we had.” If she really cared about him, she would try to work through it. And if sex with other women was a deal breaker, she should have told him that before fantasy suites, he said.

“I don’t even know who I’m looking at anymore,” Clayton told her coldly. “You just dropped a bombshell on me. I don’t agree with it at all how you went about this. I think it’s BS. And we’re done.”

Clayton shows Susie the door, literally.

Susie kept trying to apologize as he walked her to the waiting SUV. In fact, he walked ahead of her, held the door as if she couldn’t get in the car fast enough, and told her he was going to find somebody who “will fight for me as much as I fight for them. You’re not that person.”

Like wow. There’s a lot to unpack there, as the saying goes.

I understand that sex is implied in the idea of fantasy suites (although plenty of Bachelors and Bachelorettes claim they just talked in theirs) and, with that in mind, ideally Susie would have shared her feelings about Clayton having multiple partners earlier.

But it wasn’t out of line for her to believe that if Clayton really wanted to be with her he wouldn’t mess around with someone else. She was well within her rights to set boundaries for herself that she would not cross. And Clayton acted like an asshole when he shifted all the blame for the relationship imploding onto her.

I suspect he’s going to find out next week that Rachel and Gabby don’t want to fight for him either.

In which case, what the hell have we wasted nine weeks of our lives for?

You can watch next week’s two-part finale Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

The Shanae Show gets a sequel on ‘Bachelor: The Women Tell All’

March 8, 2022 / Debra Yeo

A rare moment on “The Bachelor: The Women Tell All” when the women weren’t yelling at each other. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Craig Sjodin/ABC

Did you think you were going to get some catharsis on the “Women Tell All” episode of “The Bachelor”? Not a chance.

A shit show of a season produced a a shit show of a “Tell All” that was at times a free-for-all of women yelling at each other. And by the end of it I was more annoyed with this ridiculous franchise, not less.

A large chunk of the first 45 minutes (minus commercials) was occupied by talk from or about uber-villain Shanae or, as Sierra called her, “a narcissistic, gaslighting beotch.”

Shanae in her “red flag” dress in the hot seat.

Make that a beotch who got to defend herself in the hot seat, complete with softball questions from host Jesse Palmer, clearly out of his depth.

This shouldn’t be a surprise. But it’s a travesty that the nastiest thing that Shanae did — suggesting Elizabeth was faking her ADHD and mocking her for the condition — was left out of Shanae’s clips reel. Nor was Elizabeth given equal time to defend herself.

I guess it doesn’t matter in the end because Shanae stuck to the same playbook she employed the rest of the season: attack, lie and make herself out to be the victim.

She even added a new lie, accusing Genevieve of having sex with “Bachelorette” and “Paradise” alumni Aaron Clancy after she got eliminated. (Genevieve says she didn’t and, even if she had, who cares?)

A real host would have called Shanae on her nonsense. Jesse? Hell, he actually thanked her, along with Genevieve, who joined her in the hot seat, for being “open and honest” with him.

My guess is Mike Fleiss and his minions are already preparing Shanae’s “Bachelor in Paradise” contract. You think they give a crap that people are tweeting and begging them not to bring her to Paradise? That’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

And speaking of red flags, that word came out of Shanae’s mouth in relation to other contestants; also her favourite, “fake”; pretty much everything but “sorry,” as in sorry for lying and generally acting like, well, what everybody kept calling her: a bitch.

But Shanae got as good as she gave, though.

Genevieve bringing some unintentional levity to the Shanae fray.

Besides repeatedly being called a bitch, she was called “one of the most disgusting human beings I’ve ever met in my life” by Hunter. When she stood up to walk onstage, the women snarked that her ass looked terrible. “Are you wearing a diaper?” called out Genevieve.

“From the bottom of my heart, fuck you, Shanae,” Lyndsey told her. “You can go rot in Ohio for all I care.”

I know all of us watching were supposed to find this thrilling. I mean, how exciting, a bunch of women yelling nasty things at each other and Jesse sitting there like a deer caught in headlights, barely able to rein them in. Ha, ha, what fun!

But it’s just more sleight of hand by the producers to distract us from the real issue: that this franchise is in thrall to drama, that its masterminds would rather give us episode after episode of women behaving badly than focus on what the show’s supposed to be about.

And even the supposedly nice women get brainwashed into upholding the franchise’s sexist standards.

The other contestant who got yelled at on “Women Tell All” was Cassidy, for having a boy toy back home and not forswearing him to devote herself heart and soul to Clayton. Cassidy said the sex was good and “I wasn’t gonna cut it off unless I was engaged.” And why should she?

And if Genevieve had decided to sleep with Aaron after running into him at a bar, why not if they were both into it?

Teddi would make a fine pick for Bachelorette.

The closest the episode got to a healthy conversation about sex and commitment was when Teddi was in the hot seat. Obviously her virginity was up for discussion, because that’s another thing this franchise has a puerile fascination with.

If she had made it to fantasy suites, Clayton might have been her first, she said.

“Society puts a lot of pressure on women that it changes who they are if they lose their virginity. I don’t feel that,” Teddi said.

“I think it’s OK if someone wants to wait until marriage. I think it’s OK if someone wants to have sex every weekend.”

Teddi and Serene were both breaths of fresh air in the hot seat: utterly uninterested in throwing anyone under the bus. Either one would make a great pick for the next Bachelorette.

Bachelor Clayton and host Jesse bracing for the next onslaught from the women.

And then there was Clayton Echard himself who, confusingly, said he wished he had done things differently but also that he had no regrets because “I had all the best intentions with all my actions I took.”

Sierra called him on that right away.

“I don’t know, Clayton,” she said.

“Why neglect all of the words you’re hearing from all of these wonderful women? We’re all telling you that Shanae is toxic and she’s hurting the entire house. Then she does this one fake apology.

“You chose to believe her over all of us. Like why? It doesn’t make sense?”

Neither did Clayton’s answer.

He claimed he hadn’t yet “built trust” with the women who complained about Shanae. When that didn’t fly, he admitted to having a connection with Shanae. And then he called her stunt of throwing away a group date trophy “indefensible” except, as Jill pointed out, he still kept Shanae around after that.

It all makes perfect sense, of course, if he was following producers’ instructions and keeping her long enough for the two-on-one date in Toronto, but it’s not like he would ever confess to that.

I could go on and talk about Sarah (Clayton said he absolutely did not cry on any of his dates with her, contradicting what she told Jesse earlier), or the fact that he apologized to Serene for holding back his emotions with her (it was the absolute least he could do), or that Dr. Kira hit on him, saying she’d been more and more attracted to Clayton with every episode she watched (were we watching the same show?), but I can’t be bothered. If you’re interested you can find the episode on demand and see all that for yourself.

The hollow feeling I’ve had all season was still there Monday night by the time they cued up the promo, the one that’s supposed to get us pumped for tonight’s fantasy suites episode and next week’s finale.

“The most dramatic finale in Bachelor history,” Jesse said. “How does it end? I was there and I still have no idea.”

The armadillo had the good sense to run away.

Maybe it will be the most dramatic ever, but it’s hard to care at this point. Let’s just get it over with and then we can all scuttle away like the armadillo we saw in the end credits.

You can watch tonight at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Clayton’s hometowns are a walk in the park on The Bachelor

March 1, 2022 / Debra Yeo

From left, GabbyWindey, Serene Russell, Rachel Recchia and Susie Evans await the verdict
on the hometowns episode of “The Bachelor,” PHOTO CREDIT: Craig Sjodin/ABC

Clayton Echard was threatened with the prospect of several fearsome creatures on the hometowns episode of “The Bachelor,” including alligators and bears, but only one turned up — Rachel’s dad — and he wasn’t that scary.

Well, him and the giant, hairy spider that crashed Rachel’s date. I might have nightmares about that thing.

The scariest part of Monday’s episode was that Clayton now has a final three and is about to tell all of them that he loves them.

I suppose this is the stage of the season where we’re supposed to get warm fuzzies as we see Clayton drawing closer to the woman he’s going to end up with. But how are we supposed to figure that out given that he spent the season kissing everybody and his date dialogue sounded like it came out of a “Bachelor” manual?

I couldn’t even tell who was going home Monday.

My best guess going into the episode was Gabby. Susie and Serene had both had double one-on-one dates and Clayton was too hot for Rachel to give her up, but nope, it was Serene who got the brush-off.

If I was emotionally invested in the season, I might be upset about that. But it was like, meh, good for you for not getting chosen. If you don’t get picked for “Bachelorette,” see you on “Bachelor in Paradise.”

Not even Serene cried about Serene getting sent home.

But let’s focus on the positives.

In general, the four hometown women had pretty awesome families. And they kicked Clayton’s butt on their dates. No “let’s tour my high school” or “let’s walk around the twee downtown” dates. Things got physical. Serene’s date actually scared the hell out of him, which is fair play considering what was to come.

Susie gets ready to kick Clayton’s butt at jujitsu, but first he has to learn how to tie his “gi.”

Susie was up first in Poquoson, Virginia, and she took Clayton for jujitsu lessons. Heck, she even got to choke him with her legs.

One of the moves he learned was called “shrimping.” “We just can’t get away from shrimp,” said Clayton, harking back to Shanae and Shrimpgate. “Yeah, I’ve had shrimp follow me this entire journey.”

And whose fault is that?

But I digress, back to Susie’s date. It was especially important to her that Clayton meet her dad Tom. She told Clayton on their first one-on-one about her father being seriously ill the year before and now she told him how much it had scared her that her dad might not be around to walk her down the aisle.

But Tom assured Susie he was getting better every day and they had an emotional father-daughter talk. She told him he was the “golden standard of what I expect in a partner.”

To Clayton, Tom was gracious, telling him how special Susie was and “If Susie loves you we’ll love you.” It’s nice to know she’s in good hands if Clayton dumps her, especially since Clayton told her mom Jean he didn’t yet love Susie, although “I will get there.”

Next up was Gabby in Denver, Colorado.

She and Clayton went hiking and he had fun showing her how he’d scare off a bear if they encountered one, although I wouldn’t recommend picking the bear up and kissing it.

Conveniently, they hiked to a spot with a sign that said “Proposal Rock” and I don’t for one minute believe that’s a real thing. It was as much of a prop as the hot tub that Gabby and Clayton climbed into for bubbly and smooching.

When it came time for the main event, Gabby was fretting about her father not being there. Since his girlfriend had been diagnosed with cancer and we’re still in the midst of a pandemic, her dad couldn’t come. But Grandpa John was there and he belongs in the Hometown Hall of Fame.

Grandpa John, possibly the sweetest family member ever, with granddaughter Gabby.

Let me list the reasons why Bachelor Nation has fallen in love with him. He laughed his ass off when Clayton told the fam about Gabby’s Night 1 joke about wanting to sit on Clayton’s face, on a pillow. He called Gabby Gabriela and said she was a “lovable dingbat.” He told Clayton, “So far, I like what I see. Of course it’s early, so I may change my mind about you.” He told Gabby that marriage is for life and if hers and Clayton’s wasn’t, “I’ll be really pissed. I’ll come back and haunt you.” He still wears his wedding ring even though his wife died. “I’m proud of having been married to the same woman that long, so that’s why I’m wearing it,” he said.

Look, I really like Serene, but being able to see Grandpa John again might tip the balance for Gabby in the next Bachelorette sweepstakes.

The pandemic enables “The Bachelor” to have its “Love Actually” moment.

Just when you thought Gabby’s family couldn’t be more adorable, her dad drove up and, “Love Actually”-style, held up signs telling Gabby she was “the most beautiful, intelligent, loving and caring daughter,” and if you weren’t crying before you sure as hell were now.

Seeing her dad emboldened Gabby to tell Clayton she was falling in love with him. “I’m so happy now,” Clayton said.

Next stop was Serene in Oklahoma City and she wasn’t messing. She made Clayton climb 80 feet up the Riversport Adventures Sky Trail structure and cross rope bridges before plunging to the ground, all harnessed of course.

Clayton hangs on for dear life as he crosses one of the Riversport Adventures rope bridges.

Clayton was terrified, particularly of one of the rope bridges that had octagonal discs spaced about a foot apart. It was entertaining when, after he barely made it across, groaning with fear, Serene basically skipped across it, laughing most of the way.

Serene hadn’t taken anyone home to meet her family for about 10 years, mostly because her parents divorced when she was 2 and she didn’t know what a marriage looked like, she told Clayton.

Once they got to her mom’s place, her big brother Roland was looking out for her and, let me tell you, Roland has good instincts. He was also good-looking as hell, which kicked off a Twitter campaign to make him the next Bachelor.

Serene’s brother Roland had Bachelor Nation feeling wistful.

The most attractive thing about Roland was his common sense. He asked Clayton if he loved Serene and got the same answer about Clayton not being there yet. Then Roland, tears in his eyes, told Serene how scared he was seeing her so into Clayton. “I’m not saying I don’t trust your judgement, I do, but be careful. Make sure you’re thinking everything through.”

The problem with these hometown scenarios, just like every season, is there’s no way for these women to protect themselves.

The stupid formula dictates that the Bachelor meet four families and dangle the possibility of marrying their daughters. It’s like a lottery, albeit with better odds, since three of the four are guaranteed to get hurt. And it’s a shame to see all these nice, open-hearted families taken along for the ride.

Serene was so stoked after the family visit, her brother’s warning notwithstanding, that she told Clayton she was in love with him.

Oh well, I hope she broke that stupid jar full of “firefly” lights after he dumped her.

Last, but clearly not least, was Rachel’s hometown visit in Clermont, Florida. She took Clayton kayaking in a clear-bottom boat in a spot called King’s Landing, which made me think of “Game of Thrones.”

There were no dragons, though, nor were there any alligators despite the producers’ attempts to make us think Rachel and Clayton were in danger by splicing in footage of a ‘gator that was obviously nowhere near their kayak.

They passed a hideous-looking spider that Clayton said “could have taken out Godzilla,” but the biggest danger they were in was from chapped lips since, as usual, they couldn’t stop smooching.

Clayton and Rachel after seeing a particularly menacing spider.

Conveniently, they passed a “Kissing Tree” — more props to the producers for their sign-making skills — and took full advantage. I’m pretty sure if there were any alligators around they wouldn’t have been lying in the water snogging.

Rachel was stressed about taking Clayton to meet her dad Tony, whose facial expressions when they walked in the house alternated between a scowl and a scowl.

Tony, upholding his tough guy reputation, said he had offered to beat up Rachel’s last boyfriend. But when it came right down to it, he was just a dad trying to do right by his daughter.

Tony wanted to know what Clayton would do if Rachel’s dream of being a pilot took her to Europe. Clayton said he’d happily move there.

Clayton was candid about the fact somebody was going to get hurt — three somebodies in fact — but said he had no intention of hurting Rachel.

“I know I see a future with her. I’ve dreamt of getting down on one knee proposing to her,” Clayton said.

The tough guy veneer evaporated when Tony was with Rachel. “If he’s what you want I’m all for it,” he told Rachel, tearing up and telling her he loved her and was proud of her.

When Clayton and Rachel left, Tony shook his hand and tapped him on the arm, the prearranged signal that Clayton had his blessing.

Rachel told Clayton she was falling even harder for him, but the dastardly producers tried to make us think he was going to get rid of her by overlaying the footage of them saying goodbye with Clayton droning on about how he had to “break three hearts to make one happy.”

We already know whose heart took the hit and, yes, I am a little perplexed. I did think Clayton was into Serene.

Serene must have been perplexed too. When she sat down with Clayton for her exit interview, as it were, he couldn’t give her a reason.

He had told host Jesse Palmer he was falling in love with all four women “in a different capacity,” but there was none of that said to Serene. Clayton was so unemotional about the whole thing it was hard to believe he had felt much of anything for her.

He said simply that he “had to look back and reflect, and say where do I stand with my heart. And I just have stronger connections.”

Next week is a twofer: first up, the fantasy suites episode, in which Clayton tells Rachel, Susie and Gabby he’s in love with them, and then “Women Tell All,” which naturally will be dominated by Shanae, just like the first half of the season.

You can watch next Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Clayton psychoanalyzes his way to a final four on ‘The Bachelor’

February 22, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Teddi, Susie, Gabby, Rachel, Serene and Sarah celebrate “The Bachelor” moving the circus to Vienna. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos screen grabs, with apologies for the quality

I’ll be darned, the “Bachelor” producers flipped a switch on the Claytonbot 3000 and Clayton Echard actually made some sensible decisions on Monday’s episode.

First up was sending Mara home. It turns out she probably had a point about Sarah, but the way she went on and on about it ad nauseam was totally annoying and she had to go.

As for Sarah, it seems Shanae wasn’t the only one who was good at fake crying. Clayton decided Sarah wasn’t there for the right reasons, not because she was 23 but because he thought she was making shit up. So buh bye Sarah.

This doesn’t mean the episode was void of annoyances but, when all was said and done, Clayton had a final four. Bring on the hometowns and let’s get this ridiculous season over with.

But first, shall we recap?

Mara’s contempt for Sarah was written all over her face.

We had unfinished business from last week. You’ll recall that Mara, being super jealous that Sarah got a second one-on-one date — and truthfully, the only reason she got it was to piss Mara off — implied to Clayton that Sarah wasn’t ready to get engaged. And Clayton confronted Sarah, who cried copious tears — although I’m now wondering just how real they were — and they kissed and made up and she got a rose and marched back to the hotel to confront whoever had thrown her under the bus.

It didn’t take long for Mara to fess up that she was the one who talked to Clayton, although she framed it more as her looking out for him than her being green with envy that she, Mara, 32-year-old self-proclaimed bedroom and kitchen goddess, was being left on the shelf for a youngster.

Was Sarah overconfident? Sure, especially in light of what happened later in the episode. Was all this sniping just another useless detour into Dramaland? Of course.

But Sarah was also correct when she identified Mara’s manoeuvring as “a last ditch effort by someone who feels like they’re going home.” Because guess what? Mara went home at the rose ceremony, along with Eliza.

For the seven who were left — Susie, Serene, Gabby, Genevieve, Rachel, Teddi and Sarah — it was goodbye Hvar, Croatia; hello Vienna, Austria.

Once there, it was time for the ever popular princess date. And I have to say it is nice to see people go places and do things in picturesque locations, and not have fake ass dates that all happen inside a resort.

First Susie got to go shopping at some fancy store called Fisher’s, and production bought her bandage dresses and Louboutins and who knows what else since she walked out of there with at least 10 bags.

*Susie got the season’s princess date, complete with designer gown.*

Next stop was the atelier of designer Eva Poleschinski, where Susie got to pick out a ballgown to wear to dinner with Clayton at Schonbrunn Palace. And one wonders how much pressure was brought to bear to get her to pick the red dress since dinner was followed by Chris de Burgh (go ahead and google him young’uns) performing his 1986 hit “The Lady in Red.”

Hey, at least it wasn’t country music.

It certainly does feel like Susie is pulling ahead of the pack. And no, I haven’t read the spoilers nor do I care to. Nor have I done a scientific survey of how many women who get the princess or “Cinderella” date also end up with the final rose, but I know eventual winner Rachel Kirkconnell got it on Matt James’ season.

Susie reiterated that she was falling in love with Clayton and I did worry a little when he talked about seeing “so many sides of Susie” and the only ones he mentioned were the funny one, the serious one and the romantic one.

I will, however, grudgingly admit it was kind of sweet when Clayton said that if you took all the fancy princess-in-the-castle trappings away Susie “would still make me smile just as big.”

Doesn’t matter what we think anyway; Susie’s smitten, she got the rose, Clayton’s meeting her folks.

So what’s the opposite of a Cinderella date? How about taking five women to be psychoanalyzed on TV by a total stranger?

Sarah, Teddi, Genevieve, Rachel and Gabby had to endure couples therapy with Clayton, which is pretty rich since none of them are yet part of a couple. It was just another means to get the women to unearth private trauma for our public entertainment.

Genevieve has an uncomfortable — and pointless — therapy session with Clayton.

The most traumatized of all was Genevieve, although it was the therapy session that was causing her pain.

“I don’t like talking about my feelings and I don’t like being emotional in front of people, especially crying,” said Genevieve.

“Try to express what you feel,” said the psychoanalyst, clearly well coached by the producers.

“I want to understand who you are,” added Clayton, promoting the fiction that if Genevieve just fessed up there could be a hometown date in her future.

What utter nonsense. It wouldn’t have mattered if Genevieve spilled every deep feeling she’d ever had, she was never going to get a hometown rose.

Mercifully, Clayton ended the charade and sent Genevieve home, bizarrely thanking her for “making this journey fun,” a real non sequitur under the circumstances.

And then there was Sarah, who said she loved therapy. She happily cried in front of the psychoanalyst while recounting how the other women tried to tear her down. Clayton babbled that his and Sarah’s trust was now “on a whole other level,” so Sarah’s confidence shot to a whole other level, too. Hell yeah, she was getting a hometown date, she figured.

But then the psychoanalyst told Clayton and his dates that someone hadn’t been honest about their feelings: “performative” was what she said.

Dun dun dun dunnnnn.

At the after party, Clayton invited the women to essentially snitch on the dishonest person.

It turns out there was a thorn in Sarah’s rose after all.

Rachel recounted Sarah coming to her and Teddi after her first one-on-one date to say she and Clayton “were crying together,” which Clayton said wasn’t true. Apparently, Sarah had blabbed so many details about her close connection to Clayton that Teddi and Rachel considered sending themselves home.

When Clayton accused Sarah of being manipulative, she denied everything while doing her best imitation of a crying face.

“I’m just gonna be real with you. I really felt like you were trying to fake cry to me,” Clayton told Sarah, which was spot on.

I guess the difference between Sarah and Shanae was that Shanae had mastered the ability to squeeze actual tears out of her eyes whereas Sarah’s cheeks stayed dry.

Tellingly, her eyes continued to stay dry in the van that whisked her away when Clayton sent her home.

He declined to hand out a group date rose.

The next day, Serene — on her second one-on-one — kicked things off by making sure Clayton was OK after the, um, trauma of sending Sarah home.

What Clayton and Serene lacked in rhythm they made up for in enthusiasm.

Somehow he managed to soldier on as he and Serene toured Vienna’s city centre in a horse-drawn carriage, ate hot chestnuts and danced to accordion music with the obligatory senior citizen couple who gave them a glimpse of their own potential future — yes, that’s right, you too can spend your golden years trying to teach people from some random reality show how to polka.

At dinner later, at the Belvedere Palace, Serene confessed she hadn’t brought anyone home to meet her parents since her high school boyfriend. And she and Clayton compared notes about growing apart from people that you started dating when you were really young and how it can seem like you wasted part of your 20s, but “then I think, no, you learn from every moment that you go through,” Clayton said.

And I’m sorry, but that sounded like an actual line of conversation rather than just a talking point.

Serene told Clayton she was falling in love with him, which made Clayton grin from ear to ear. And he gave her the rose and then they stood in front of the famous Klimt painting “The Kiss” and, duh, kissed.

And then — I can hardly believe I’m writing this — the episode ended with a rose ceremony.

Rachel, Teddi and Gabby await their fate alongside Susie and Serene.

Since Susie and Serene already had roses, and Rachel was a lock for another one, it came down to Teddi and Gabby.

As the first impression rose winner, Teddi might have seemed like a shoo-in but, to be honest, the fact she had her one-on-one so late in the season did not bode well. And indeed, she was the one sent home.

Clayton didn’t seem all that broken up about it, telling her, “It was so nice to get to know you and you’ll forever have a special place in my heart” as he handed her into the van. Not one for long goodbyes is Clayton.

But let’s be honest, he did Teddi — and us — a favour. How nasty would it have been if Teddi lost her virginity to Clayton and then had to suffer through the “I’ve been intimate with both of you” speech that we all know is coming? Consider it a bullet dodged.

Next week it’s hometowns and, if we don’t get tripped up with any special two-part episodes, we just have another four to go and we can all get our Monday nights back.

You can watch next Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

With Shanae gone, Mara picks up the villain torch on The Bachelor

February 15, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Monday’s episode of “The Bachelor” was about as hard to swallow as the fish eyes and other unpalatable things eaten on the group date. PHOTO CREDIT: All photos screen grabs unless otherwise indicated

Is it possible for a person to be possessed by the spirit of someone who’s still alive?

I’m just asking because no sooner had Shanae been kicked off “The Bachelor” — finally! — then Mara went on a jealousy and insecurity rampage that culminated in her trying to get rid of Sarah.

This is all part of the evil producer plan, of course: stoke Mara’s self-doubt by ensuring she gets the very last rose at the rose ceremony, then send the woman she’s most threatened by on a second one-on-one date while Mara is stuck in group date purgatory. Presto chango, a new villain!

It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if it turned out that Mara — perhaps realizing her chances of getting a one-on-one were about as good as the women ceasing to over-pronounce the “t” in Clayton — signed up for the villain edit.

And Clayton continues to be the perfect producer stooge, dutifully confronting Sarah with Mara’s accusation that she wasn’t ready to get engaged, feigning confusion, then stepping away “to think this through,” leaving Sarah a sobbing mess. That doesn’t seem like something you would do to someone you claim to see a future with but, at this stage, it appears that when the producers say “Jump!” Clayton doesn’t even ask how high; he just leaps.

The women said that Clayton sending Shanae home showed he’s not a bad judge of character after all. Too bad viewers can’t share that perspective.

If anything, the result of the two-on-one between Shanae and Genevieve showed that Clayton has been playing the game all along.

Genevieve Parisi and Shanae Ankney wait for Clayton Echard to give one of them the rose.

Consider that up until this point Clayton has appeared to swallow all of Shanae’s whoppers hook, line and sinker. And now, suddenly, he draws the line?

Shanae did what she’s done all along: lied (she claimed to have overheard Genevieve saying she wanted to go home the night before) and faked emotion (tearing up because she’d been single for five years and, at 29, had never been in love). And then she exulted at pulling one over on Clayton: “Getting this rose tonight is gonna feel better than sex.”

Genevieve appeared to cry real tears while basically apologizing to Clayton for not being vulnerable enough. Ugh.

Clayton asked Genevieve point blank, with Shanae sitting there, “Are you an actress” — Shanae’s word — “and have you been lying to me?” A startled Genevieve said no and then asked Clayton why he’d ask her that.

Instead of answering, he walked away for a little think, no doubt counting down the minutes until he was allowed to stop pretending, and go back and hand out the rose, which he said was “going to somebody who helped me see the truth in all of this.”

“So Shanae, I’m just, I’m so sorry, but I cannot find it in my heart to give you this rose.”

And just like that, Shanae’s five-week reign of terror came to an end. I have to be honest, it felt way longer.

“Fuck Clayton. I never want to see him again,” Shanae said, which sums up how viewers feel about her. I’m sure more than one member of Bachelor Nation was popping Champagne along with Shanae’s fellow contestants.

With Shanae gone, all seemed to be sweetness and light at the cocktail party on rose ceremony night. Clayton was sucking face with his favourites Sarah and Rachel. He even kissed Hunter. But Mara, an entrepreneur from New Jersey, was fretting that Clayton didn’t know what a “keeper” she was. She only got about three minutes with him and spent that time force-feeding him what looked like cold poutine.

Mara Agrait was ready to fall in love in Croatia, come hell or high water.

“I am a grown ass woman. I know what I have to offer and I know who I am, and I came here to find love,” she ranted before breaking down in tears.

Translation: I am 32 years old. I am ready to get married and start churning out little Echards. Why does Clayton like women who are younger than me?

Listen, nothing against someone who really wants to be coupled up, but if Mara is as “strong, powerful, passionate, independent” as she claims, perhaps she could ratchet down the desperation.

She finally got her rose after Sarah, Serene, Susie, Teddi and Eliza had got theirs, with Marlena and Hunter sent home.

And then it was time for Clayton and his chosen nine, including Rachel, Gabby and Genevieve, to leave Toronto and head to Hvar, Croatia, where Mara’s complaining continued apace.

When Teddi got the first one-on-one — and come on, she was the first impression rose winner; she should have got one way before now — Mara sniped that some of the women were more girlfriend than wife material and that Clayton was doing himself a “disservice” by not availing himself of Mara’s awesomeness.

Anyway, Teddi and Clayton were off on the ever popular “let’s walk around this town and do the most cheesy, touristy things possible” date, followed by the standard true confessions dinner.

Clayton and Teddi Wright, but not in Croatia, because apparently ABC
couldn’t find any photographers in Croatia. PHOTO CREDIT: John Fleenor/ABC

Teddi told Clayton that she was — gasp! — a virgin and Clayton’s response was a master class in awkwardness. First he told her that he “would have never known” since there was physical attraction between them. Then he hastened to add that their connection was more emotional. And then he asked, “Have you been in love since that point?”

First off, what point? Secondly, since Teddi said she was saving herself until the first time she was in love, clearly she had never been in love because, if she had, she wouldn’t be a virgin.

Clayton blathered about how he wanted Teddi to be “fully vulnerable” — and is there a double entendre in there somewhere? — and Teddi said she trusted Clayton and felt safe with him.

He gave her the rose and they kissed just like people who aren’t virgins do, and Teddi said she could see herself falling in love with Clayton and best not to let your mind go there.

In the meantime, when Mara found out she was on the group date along with Serene, Rachel, Susie, Gabby, Eliza and Genevieve, and that 23-year-old Sarah was getting a second one-on-one, she bemoaned Clayton “going for the youngest girl in the house, who I couldn’t imagine being ready to get engaged.”

And look, I’m a lot older than Mara, but this a bullshit, ageist argument. Chronological age is not a guarantee of readiness for anything. My mother got married at 18 and she’ll be celebrating her 62nd wedding anniversary this year. Besides, the most immature woman on the show so far has been Shanae at 29.

But Mara put on her game face during the group date, which involved the women donning medieval armour-type outfits and being led through challenges by a female knight named Katarina (at least I think that’s how it’s spelled).

Mara figured she had the competition in the bag because she out-muscled Rachel in the strength challenge; chowed down on pig’s liver and cow’s stomach and fish eyes and other, um, delicacies; and, as a sign of her devotion to Clayton, recited a poem that included the lines “I cook and clean and I’m great in bed/Come on Clayton, use your head.”

Personally, I preferred Genevieve’s “I endured an epic war against the evil shrimp dragon.”

In any event, Serene was declared to have the virtues of a true knight, which meant she got to wear a cape and smooch Clayton.

At the after-party, Mara complained to Clayton that she’d been “vulnerable, sweet, cute, flirty” but still hadn’t got a one-on-one. Furthermore, Clayton was wasting his time on younger women like Sarah, one of whom Mara alleged — OK, she meant Sarah — had said she couldn’t picture herself engaged after just a couple of months.

But Mara speaking her “truth” was no match for Rachel telling Clayton she was falling for him, so no date rose for Mara.

Susie Evans in “beast” mode ahead of her impromptu clock tower date with Clayton.

Mara was miffed, so when Clayton got an unsigned card saying “Meet me at the clock tower,” it seemed like Mara might have more to say. (Some people even speculated it was Shanae taking another kick at the can.) It was just Susie, who became the second woman to tell Clayton she was falling in love with him.

And then, finally, it was time to emotionally torture Sarah.

After first having a staged pep talk with host Jesse Palmer about his “biggest fear” potentially coming true, Clayton dropped the bomb on Sarah that she’d been called out for possibly not being ready to get engaged and thus, he was “confused” and “scared.”

Sarah Hamrick before Clayton dropped Mara’s “truth” bomb on her.

Sarah began to cry and to strenuously object, saying she absolutely wanted to get engaged to Clayton. And then Clayton left her there at the table, bereft, to step away to think, which was obviously a bit of producer manipulation.

In the meantime, Sarah cried her eyes out. She was still crying when Clayton came back to the table, telling him she was afraid to lose him over a “blatant lie.”

Well, of course, she wasn’t going to lose him. It was just some bullshit drama. Sure enough, Clayton told Sarah that he was sure she was there for him and “you want what I’m after.” Sarah cried on his shoulder after he gave her the damn rose.

Cue Sarah, mad as hell, heading back to the hotel suite to confront the “liar” and the words “To be continued” on the screen. So there’s more Mara and Sarah drama ahead next week and is this bloody season over yet?

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

The joke’s on Bachelor viewers as Shanae Show gets carried over

February 8, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Clayton Echard and his group dates in Toronto’s Distillery District on Monday’s episode
of “The Bachelor.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs John Medland/ABC

Welcome to Toronto. I’m really sorry we weren’t able to get rid of Shanae for you.

Yes, Monday’s “The Bachelor” crossed the border into Canada and featured, among other things, a comedy roast presided over by Russell Peters, but the joke was on viewers.

We were punked, essentially. Last week’s promo promised a two-on-one date between Shanae and Genevieve, and surely this would mean the end of one of the franchise’s most unlikable villains.

But nope. The two-on-one had barely got started when the dreaded “To be continued” popped onto our screens. The Shanae Show will be back next week.

And will Clayton finally smarten the hell up and send her home?

I mean, what is the point of a two-on-one if not to get rid of the villain? Still, the way Clayton conducted himself earlier in the episode didn’t exactly inspire confidence.

It began with the women lamenting Shanae’s behaviour of the night before, when she crashed the group date after-party, cussed out Sierra and Genevieve for talking about her, and threw the women’s football trophy into some bushes (the women said it was a pond, but I didn’t hear a splash). And just writing all that down emphasizes how bonkers ridiculous this manufactured drama is.

Clayton claimed he was going to address the Shanae situation before the rose ceremony and har, har, we’ve heard that one before.

First, though, he had a one-on-one date with Serene, who seems like a nice, normal person.

Clayton Echard with Serene Russell, who went on two dates with Clayton in this episode.

They had the run of the Galveston Island Historic Pleasure Pier so yes, we were still in America at this point. They went on rides, ate ice cream, kissed a lot, pretty standard stuff.

Clayton said he and Serene had a strong physical connection. “It’s just a matter of can we go deeper?”

Well, she could. Him? Not so much.

I mean Serene shared a story over dinner of losing her grandmother, who was a surrogate mother to her, and a cousin who was like the sister she never had within a couple of years of each other. It was obvious the loss still felt fresh. Clayton thanked her for sharing not once but three times.

And then he rewarded her for being “vulnerable” by giving her the date rose and lots of kisses, naturally.

“I definitely feel like I am falling in love with Clayton,” Serene said. Oh, honey!

It was time for the rose ceremony that we didn’t get to last week, but first Shanae. Clayton took aside the winning team from the tackle football group date to get their perspective on Shanae crashing their party. They recounted her vindictive, trophy-tossing behaviour. Alas, Susie unwittingly provided Clayton with an out by saying “I think she has to just apologize.”

So when Clayton took Shanae aside to address her behaviour, looking suitably solemn — “Throwing the trophy in the pond was not the right thing to do,” he said. Ya think? — he suggested she do just that.

Shanae lunged for the lifeline like Clayton latching onto a pair of lips.

“I want to apologize,” she said, feigning contriteness. “I was heated in the moment and, after going home and actually thinking about it, I should have never done that. That’s not my character, that’s not me.”

Shanae apologizes for trophy-gate, complete with crocodile tears.

She even managed to shed tears when she tried it out on the other women. “I am really sorry and I hope we can get past this,” she told them.

Sierra touched Shanae’s back sympathetically. Susie and Marlena both verbally accepted the apology. Clayton must have been so thrilled. No need to get rid of one of his favourite face-sucking partners. As soon as Shanae told him how “great” the apology had gone, he puckered up.

Too bad he didn’t realize when she said great, she meant her acting.

“That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life, apologize to people that I wasn’t sorry for. I’m not sorry hoes!” Shanae crowed. “I need an Oscar award for that performance . . . This is Meryl Streep and this is Shanae Ankney right here,” she said, holding a hand high above her head.

Something to keep in mind when the inevitable tearful — and just as fake — apology comes at “The Women Tell All.”

Some of the contestants were still hoping Shanae wouldn’t make it through the rose ceremony. Of course, she did. Jill, Lyndsey and Sierra got dumped and since Sierra had been one of the women who ratted out Shanae’s toxic behaviour, Shanae got to boast about how she “sent another bitch home.” At least Sierra warned Clayton, “Don’t be stupid, OK?” on the way out, for whatever that was worth.

It was off to Toronto, Canada, and thank you, Clayton, for calling it a beautiful and breathtaking city, even if that was part of the script.

The contestants took in sights like the Toronto sign in Nathan Phillips Square, Osgoode Hall and the Berczy Park Dog Fountain before checking into the penthouse of Hotel X, where Gabby learned she was getting the one-on-one date.

Apparently Gabby hadn’t been on Clayton’s radar until he saw her hilarious side. And yes, it was kind of funny that she thought Clayton might be feeding her an actual beaver tail when they stopped to sample the fried dough on the waterfront.

They also took a helicopter ride with a view of the CN Tower (for some reason, I thought they did the EdgeWalk, but I was wrong), played street hockey and hung out in the Toronto Music Garden. When Gabby encountered an adorable dog she got right down on the ground to pet it, which made me like her even more.

One of the cute pooches you’re likely to see in any Toronto park.

Gabby said she felt like she was “in a movie like ‘The Notebook'” and that she was falling for Clayton “in a very deep manner,” but she had something to tell him that might scare him away.

What was this deep dark secret? That she had been insecure in past relationships and had felt undeserving of love due to growing up with a mother who withheld her affection. In fact, she no longer had a relationship with her mother but said tearfully she hoped to in the future. “Right now I have a lot of healing to do.”

Clayton said — wait for it — thank you for sharing, also that it meant a lot that she’d opened up to him and he felt he understood her much better now. He handed over the date rose and they did some smooching in the Hotel X rooftop pool.

Then it was group date time for Rachel, Sarah, Serene, Marlena, Susie, Hunter, Eliza, Teddi and Mara, and they headed to the Distillery District — if you ever come to Toronto, make sure you check it out — to meet up with Clayton, host Jesse Palmer and comedian Russell Peters, both of whom are Toronto natives.

Russell Peters with “failed contestant” Jesse Palmer and “his stunt double” Clayton.

Peters was there to help the women roast Clayton and each other and he gave them a sample. “Clayton, he’s from Missouri. This guy is vanilla as fuck.”

Tell us something we don’t already know.

The women were game to take Russell’s advice to be mean.

“Clayton, you’re from Eureka, Missouri, right? Do you kiss your mother with your mouth open or closed?” asked Marlena. She also outed Hunter’s irritable bowel syndrome and compared Shanae to a herpes outbreak.

Mara, the oldest remaining contestant at 32, and Sarah, the youngest at 23, sniped at each other, although Mara veered from roast to straight insult when she ended with, “Just go home you desperate bitch.”

The members of the public who were in the audience, and who would have zero insight into all the drama, must have wondered what the hell they were listening to, especially all the jokes about Shanae, whom Hunter compared to “Jeffrey Dahmer calling himself a victim at his own crime.”

Clayton found it all hilarious. He told Marlena at the after-party she had a future in standup comedy. She was hoping her performance and the fact she told Clayton she’d be “all gas, no brakes” in their relationship would be enough to score the date rose.

But Clayton was feeling feels with Rachel — “she’s almost on my mind at most times of the day” — and it went to her. That was a blow to Susie, who had borrowed a microphone to do an unroast of Clayton, sharing the things she liked about him, two of which were his smiles and his dimples when he smiles.

As hard as it’s been to figure out who’s breaking away from the pack given Clayton’s indiscriminate displays of affection, Rachel is definitely a frontrunner.

In the meantime, Genevieve and Shanae had received the two-on-one date card and there was dread in the air — no, not theirs, ours! There were just 17 minutes left in the episode, so obviously the date would carry over into next week. And you just know the producers will milk that date drama for every drop of Shanae badness.

All we saw was Genevieve and Shanae taking a tense limo ride, meeting Clayton in Queen Victoria Park alongside Niagara Falls and boarding a Niagara City Cruises boat. And just in case we had any trouble figuring out which one was the villain, Shanae was in a black raincoat and Genevieve in white.

Genevieve had the humility to say in her confessional that she was nervous while Shanae boasted about her confidence, comparing Genevieve to a chihuahua and miming throwing her overboard. “This is the last time I’m taking the trash out,” she said.

Back at the hotel, the other women discussed the fact that if Clayton kept Shanae it would affect how they felt about him and it’s hard to believe that Clayton hadn’t already cottoned on to that potential consequence in his eagerness to keep Shanae around. Either the dude is seriously obtuse or he’s a producers’ dream, willing to do whatever they suggest to keep the drama going.

So once again, because I’m Canadian, I apologize. There is more Shanae nastiness ahead. Would it be too much to hope that Clayton not only gets rid of her but that they deposit her on Goat Island for a while?

You can watch Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Shanae is tackled but not ousted as the Bachelor drama continues

February 1, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Mara tackles Jill on the group date, a good approximation for how viewers feel after another punishing episode of “The Bachelor.” PHOTO CREDIT: All photos but screen grabs Felicia Graham/ABC

Houston, we have a problem.

Not only did Bachelor Clayton Echard not send Shanae Ankney home at Monday’s rose ceremony, which was expected, he continued to be oblivious to the BS she was laying down throughout the episode.

After the contestants moved on to Houston, Texas, two more women came forward to tell Clayton that Shanae couldn’t be trusted. And what did he do? Fell for more of Shanae’s nonsense — hook, line and sinker.

Judging by the way Clayton hoisted Shanae up onto a bar so he could apply suction to her mouth, with hand planted on her booty, we could be dealing with a simple case of thinking-with-his-dick-itis.

But that doesn’t negate the fact that Bachelor Nation feels like it’s taken a few of Teddi’s football tackles after a third week of pointless drama revolving around one insecure, vindictive contestant.

I don’t want to call Clayton names or insult his intelligence, but dude, what were you thinking?

It’s one thing to have the mean girl stuff happen where you can’t see it, which was the defence Clayton mounted on a recent episode of the “Bachelor Happy Hour” podcast, but Shanae’s nastiness was on display during a sit-down between her and Elizabeth and Clayton and, not only did Clayton not see it, he turtled.

Decided he didn’t want to deal with the conflict, walked away, cancelled the cocktail party, and then gave a rose to Shanae and sent Elizabeth home, to the horror of the other 14 women who remained.

Clayton’s discomfort is written all over his face as Shanae and Elizabeth debate.

I mean seriously: it seemed like a good idea to give a rose to somebody who spent several minutes whining that she was being bullied because nobody wanted the stupid plate of shrimp she brought out to the hot tub?

As Elizabeth sensibly pointed out, “Why was that my responsibility?”

It wasn’t, it isn’t, regardless of whether she was in the hot tub that day or not. And for the record, Elizabeth was in the hot tub, not upstairs having a shower as she told Clayton, but it doesn’t bloody matter! It’s a tempest in a teapot, or in a shrimp pan, if you will.

As Jill said, “I lost brain cells because I listened to Shrimpgate” and Jill is all of us.

That Shanae walked back into the mansion carrying a plate of — you guessed it — shrimp was the producers messing with us. Let’s move on.

So Elizabeth and Kira and Melina got sent home, and we were forced to watch Shanae gloat about how she won and nobody should fuck with her, and the next day everybody flew to Houston. And then we had a pointless interlude where a man named Clarence, one of Clayton’s football friends, came to visit Clayton in his hotel suite just to further drill into our heads that Clayton wants a family.

Because Clarence has a wife and a child, he is a shining exemplar of Bachelor #goals. Pssst, did you know Clayton wants kids, y’all?

Mind you, we knew we were in trouble because Clayton told Clarence that he expected to be hung up on two, “maybe three, possibly four women” at the end of this. Which I guess explains all the promos about him telling three women he’s in love with them.

Will Rachel be one of those three? It seemed like a possibility after their one-on-one date.

Rachel and Clayton only have eyes for each other on their one-on-one date.

They went horseback riding; they dropped in on some poor family and ate their barbecue; they whispered — literally whispered — sweet nothings to each other on a picturesque dock.

At dinner, there was a minor fakeout when Clayton said he was confused and had questions for Rachel, but what he wanted to know was how “a woman as beautiful as you with this badass job” ended up on “The Bachelor.”

The badass job was the short answer. Rachel, who’s a flight instructor and a pilot, described being in a relationship with a man who didn’t support her career. She told Clayton she wants to get married and have kids, but she also wants to keep flying.

He assured her he would “never, ever hold you back from doing something that you love.”

After that they got serenaded by — what else? — a country band called Restless Road, and Clayton gave Rachel the rose and they kissed a lot, and he told her, “I’ll never dim your light.”

That’s kind of sweet. It’s the kind of thing that might give me the warm fuzzies if it wasn’t for the fact I can’t get excited about seeing someone as lovely as Rachel end up with a man who got bamboozled by Shanae.

Come to think of it, can I steal the name of that band to describe this season?

Time for the group date, but first Sierra, Genevieve and Gabby had a conversation in the hotel suite in which Sierra suggested the group date contestants warn Clayton about Shanae’s character, or lack thereof, in an effort to get her sent home. Of course, Shanae, who was napping in her room — a mark of a true villain as Corinne Olympios can attest — overheard them and I have questions.

Did they not realize that Shanae was within earshot? Why didn’t they whisper? It’s just so convenient.

And then, fancy that, the group date was a tackle football game, because the franchise is an equal opportunity provider of chances for contestants to get violent.

Sarah, Eliza, Teddi, Marlena, Jill, Susie, Mara, Sierra, Hunter, Lyndsey, Genevieve, Gabby and Shanae were split into two teams, coached by Houston Texans Jonathan Greenard and Kamu Grugier-Hill.

It was the Purple Punishers vs Shrimp Stampede in the Bachelor Bowl.

Shanae was on the — wait for it — Shrimp Stampede team, but the Purple Punishers had Olympian Marlena to run touchdowns and also an ace tackler in Teddi, so they beat the shrimps 21-0. And that meant they won extra time with Clayton at the after party.

(As an aside, the “Bachelor Bowl” commentary from host Jesse Palmer and sports anchor Hannah Storm made me miss the late Fred Willard, who used to team up with Chris Harrison, but I will give Jesse credit for one good line about Jill, “an architectural historian, also a vegan, Hannah, and she just ate grass.”)

At the after-party, Sierra put Operation Sink Shanae into effect. Both she and Genevieve told Clayton that Shanae wasn’t to be trusted. “We believe that if you have the full story you wouldn’t want somebody like that to be your wife,” Sierra told him, while Genevieve said, “She just can’t get along and she’s lied and she can’t apologize for what she’s done.”

Clayton was frustrated that the Shanae drama hadn’t been squelched and “Shanae seems to be involved in all the conflict.”

I believe the correct expression would be “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” But Clayton was more interested in the sparks generated when he and Shanae put their lips together.

He halfheartedly confronted Shanae when she crashed the after party — because of course she did — but she didn’t even have to lie this time to wriggle off the hook, telling him how she’d overheard Gabby, Genevieve and Sierra plotting against her.

After Clayton’s and Shanae’s smooch sesh, she walked over to where the other women were sitting, said, “Genevieve and Sierra, keep my name out of your fucking mouths,” picked up the Bachelor Bowl trophy, threw it in some bushes and stormed off.

“It’s Shanae Show, not The Bachelor,” smirked Shanae. And she’s absolutely right, it is, and it’s ruining what was already shaping up to be a lacklustre season. How much longer will we have to put up with her is the question.

There was no “to be continued,” but the promo for next week showed a two-on-one date with Shanae and Genevieve. Confusingly, the promo for later in the season also showed both Shanae and Genevieve. Surely, Clayton won’t go on a two-on-one and keep both the women.

We’ll find out next week. It airs Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Cassidy leaves, Shanae lies and the Bachelor drama continues

January 25, 2022 / Debra Yeo

Clayton Echard and Nicole Eggert oversee a “Baywatch”-themed group date.
PHOTO CREDIT: All photos except screen grabs John Fleenor/ABC

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a “Bachelor” season launches with a lead who wasn’t the viewers’ choice and gets criticized for devoting too much time to the bullies among the cast.

The main difference between Matt James’ season a year ago and Clayton Echard’s now is that the bullies — so far — are targeting other white women. Oh and the franchise has reverted to its comfort zone of having a white man in the lead.

There are a couple of conclusions we can draw: the people who put this show together have learned nothing from past controversies and, even if they had, they don’t care what we think.

On Monday night, just ahead of the latest outrageous stunt by villain Shanae Ankney, “Bachelor” creator Mike Fleiss tweeted, “Not sure what it is, but there’s something about Shanae that I really like. . .”

Perhaps he was trying to be ironic, but it felt like a jibe at those of us who were genuinely disturbed by Shanae’s behaviour. And I’m not gonna lie: watching Shanae blatantly lie to Clayton as she badmouthed contestant Elizabeth Corrigan, and then laugh about pulling one over on him, really bothered me.

But guess what? The episode ended (yet again) without a rose ceremony, but it was clear from the promo of next week’s instalment that Shanae will make it through another week and we’ll be in for more of the drama that Fleiss and crew value so much.

I suppose some people will vote with their remotes and just stop watching. Ratings were down between Week 1 and 2, which aired two weeks ago, but were still good enough to lead the night in the all important 18 to 49 demo.

Me? I’ve committed to recapping the season, which I guess makes me part of the problem, but let’s get on with it.

Cassidy Timbrooks gets some bad news from Clayton.

Last week’s episode ended with Clayton asking host Jesse Palmer if anyone had ever taken back a rose before. It took about 16 minutes on Monday for Clayton to do just that, showing Cassidy the door after learning that she’d been FaceTiming her friend with benefits back home pretty much right up until it was time for her limo ride to the Bachelor mansion.

At first Cassidy was deny, deny, deny, but for some reason she caved and admitted there was a friend she’d slept with a couple of times over the last couple of months, but she had “no interest in resuming that relationship because I knew it wasn’t going anywhere.”

And what did she think Clayton was going to do with that information? She cried a lot when he handed her into the SUV of shame, so maybe she actually liked him? I dunno. And of course, there’s the double standard of a woman who’s about to become one of 30 chasing the same stranger being expected to live like a nun in the months leading up to filming, but Cassidy was annoying so I can’t pretend I’m sorry she’s gone.

Then Clayton, looking appropriately mournful, handed out 16 more roses (Sarah and Susie already had two) and 18 women moved on, sweetly but naively hoping they could put the drama behind them.

First up was a group date with Serene, Susie, Eliza, Mara, Marlena, Hunter, Genevieve and Jill, and can somebody please explain why this franchise has made such a fetish out of so-called “vulnerability”?

Kaitlyn Bristowe (back to the camera) practises ersatz group therapy on Clayton’s date.

The women had to sit in a circle on a stage with Clayton and “Bachelorette” host Kaitlyn Bristowe and spill their guts about painful things in their lives. I mean, they don’t know Clayton, they don’t know Kaitlyn, just a few weeks in they probably barely know each other, so why?

Asked to share a part of themselves they weren’t proud of, their discussion turned to body image. Hunter confessed she had worn contacts to turn her eyes blue and changed her hair colour to please a boyfriend who cheated on her. Serene said she used to overeat in front of other people to fend off accusations she was anorexic because of her small stature. Even Clayton said he purposely lost weight when he was in Grade 7 because he thought he was fat.

Marlena talked about the burden of being a woman of colour: “having to be 10 times better just to be seen and just to be heard has been a lot for me,” although she also said she hadn’t intended to talk to Clayton about race. Bring it on was basically his response. She was helping the white guy “see things from a different perspective.” And that’s about as deep as this franchise gets on the topic.

At the after party there was more talk about opening up and validating feelings, but mostly Clayton kissed people and then gave the date rose to Eliza because she was a “sweetheart” and he seemed to really like her outfit.

Next up was a one-on-one with Sarah and yet another gratuitous “Bachelor” alumnus guest appearance.

This time, former Bachelorette Becca Kufrin was there because she had allegedly planned the date, which is as believable as the fact that when Clayton and Sarah were told they had to strip to their underwear they just happened to be wearing matching black briefs and a sports bra in Sarah’s case.

Clayton and Sarah had to run around the streets of Los Angeles in underwear. Fun?

So we went from contestants having to strip emotionally to doing it physically. Sarah and Clayton got to make spectacles of themselves doing embarrassing things like dancing and singing (or rapping) in their gitch.

Clayton said it was “a true test to our relationship.” No it wasn’t, it was a bit of humiliation dreamed up by some producer with the sensibility of a 12-year-old boy.

Apparently Sarah hadn’t been quite vulnerable enough, because at dinner she talked about being part Vietnamese and being adopted into a white family because her birth parents were too young to raise her, and how she grew up feeling ashamed of being adopted.

Sarah was laying down some real feelings but getting rote responses from Clayton like “Seriously, thank you so much for sharing that.”

Nonetheless, she eagerly accepted the date rose and danced and smooched with Clayton as a string quartet played “Clair de Lune” inside the “Immersive Van Gogh” exhibit in Los Angeles.

Back at the mansion, the stage was being set for the group date nonsense to come.

First, Shanae turned what appeared to be a nice gesture by Elizabeth — making some garlic butter shrimp to share — into another reason to hate her; her words, not mine. I don’t know how many shrimp Elizabeth made, but Shanae ate eight of them — there was a counter onscreen keeping track — so some women didn’t get any. Shanae made more, but when most of the women failed to look up when Shanae brought a plate of shrimp to the hot tub she blamed that on Elizabeth too.

Then the next date card came. Elizabeth and Shanae were both on it, along with Gabby, Rachel, Kira, Melina, Lyndsey, Sierra and Teddi. Shanae groused in confessional that she didn’t want Elizabeth on her group date, “but she’s not gonna win. I need to get that fuckin’ rose tomorrow.”

Kira, Teddi, Elizabeth and Lyndsey in the red suits.

I’m not sure why “Baywatch” was the theme of the date. So we could watch the women jiggle across the beach in those famous red bathing suits, perhaps? Anyway, original cast member Nicole Eggert was there and the women had to put sunscreen on each other, give CPR to a dummy (no, not Shanae) and do a slo-mo stroll.

Shanae distinguished herself by putting sunscreen on Clayton’s nipples and then jumping on him and kissing him for far too long, all the while hoping Elizabeth was watching. How could she not watch such a cringe-worthy display?

“I’m back on top,” crowed Shanae. But she wasn’t because Nicole gave the prize of extra time with Clayton to Gabby. Clayton was so impressed with Gabby’s quirkiness and goofiness that he also gave her the date rose — but not before Shanae had turned the cocktail party into another shit show.

Shanae lied to Clayton that Elizabeth was perpetuating their beef of the week before; that the other women wouldn’t talk to Shanae when Elizabeth was around; and that Elizabeth was “a liar and a bully and toxic,” which of course is a description of Shanae herself.

She even squeezed out a few tears and then boasted in her confessional, “Omigod, he believed me. Trust me, I have him. I know I have him. I was good, like, I was good. Holy fuck, I was good. And I didn’t mean to cry, but I cried,” she laughed.

I don’t know if Shanae is really that much of a jerk, if the stress of shooting has altered her behaviour, if she’s following a villain game plan or being egged on by producers, but her glee at hoodwinking Clayton seemed unambiguous.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth cried what appeared to be real tears after Clayton confronted her, yet again, with Shanae’s accusations, claiming that Shanae’s mental health was “wavering.”

“I’ve been nothing but kind to her. Like, what did I do?” protested Elizabeth. “I don’t feel like I can really talk to you because I’m just being questioned.”

Shanae Ankney pre-emptively gloats about her imagined victory over Elizabeth.

The other women questioned Shanae about her claims but since she was unable to give them any examples she tried to shut down the conversation instead and reverted to calling Elizabeth “fake” and “two-faced.”

See, if Clayton was channelling Michelle Young he would have got to the root of the bullshit right then and there, and sent Shanae home. Instead, he planned to address the subject at the next night’s cocktail party.

“Elizabeth’s the problem,” declared Shanae. “She’s not gonna make me lose because of her lying ADHD ass.” So we’re back to that, are we?

We already know Shanae will get a rose and she’ll be on yet another group date next week and that Clayton, unable to see through her crap, will play more tonsil hockey with her. And she will find a new target for her raging insecurity in Genevieve. And honestly, I’m so over it.

But I’ll be back next week recapping the new episode, which airs Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And you can comment here, visit my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @realityeo

Tag: Bachelor (Page 2 of 4)

Clayton’s Bachelor season ends with shock and righteous rage

Rachel and Gabby let Clayton off the hook and they’ll regret it

Clayton bonks his way to a breakup on ‘The Bachelor’

The Shanae Show gets a sequel on ‘Bachelor: The Women Tell All’

Clayton’s hometowns are a walk in the park on The Bachelor

Clayton psychoanalyzes his way to a final four on ‘The Bachelor’

With Shanae gone, Mara picks up the villain torch on The Bachelor

The joke’s on Bachelor viewers as Shanae Show gets carried over

Shanae is tackled but not ousted as the Bachelor drama continues

Cassidy leaves, Shanae lies and the Bachelor drama continues

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